• Published 27th Jun 2013
  • 3,042 Views, 42 Comments

Time and Warmth - GjallarFox



Fluttershy and Twilight have been depressed for a very long time.

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5
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 3,042

Heal

T&W2 - Heal

Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!

I was in full blown panic, and my heart threatened to stop beating. Every breath was a sharper pain than any cut could heal. Tears flowed from my eyes like blood from my cuts. I felt dry sobs rack my body, sending shockwaves through the pool of blood beneath me.

"Don't you dare die on me, Twilight!" I choked out between teary heaves and sobs. "SOMEPONY HELP ME!!!"

Under most circumstances, I'd have flinched at the sound of breaking glass, but this time I was too focused on the mare bleeding out in my bandaged and useless wings.

"What ha–WHOA WHOA WHOA!!!" the welcome sound of Rainbow's unstable voice came. I looked over to see my prismatic friend shuffling away from us. She began shivering as she continued backwards, distancing herself from the ever-expanding lake of blood.

"Twilight. Hospital. NOW!" I growled and screamed. I felt my face contort in an emotional response to incomprehensible fear and dread that appeared as rage but wasn't. The tears streaming down my cheeks in white-hot torrents trickled to the lake of blood I was laying in.

"...b-but..." she choked. Her pupils shrunk as she stared at the blood under me.

"GO NNAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOWWWWW!!!!!!" I roared over her. The mere suggestion that she wouldn't help was enough for me to snap at her. I didn't care that she was trembling away, shrinking like I would. I didn't care if I was yelling at my longtime friend.

"I-I c-ca-an't-t-t...! Th-th-e b-b-b-b-blood!"

"SHE WILL DIE WITHOUT YOU!!!" my voice cracked hard under the strain of being so much louder than usual for more than a few phrases. I glared into her eyes, tiny as pinholes in pure hemophobic fear. "I swear upon Nightmare Moon's mane that if Twilight dies on your watch, so help me Faust I will RIP YOU APART!"

I stood up from the sanguine sea, and stepped towards Rainbow. My hooves and belly dripped with blood, leaving a trail on the ground as I approached my paralyzed friend. "I need you to help me, Rainbow!"

She curled up against the wall, shrinking away from my heavy approach. I reached out with my hoof, showing her just how real this nightmare was. I poked her shoulder, staining her sky-blue coat with hot, sticky, crimson liquid. That seemed to do the trick, as she screamed loudly and femininely enough to make Rarity proud before taking off, flying away with Twilight in her hooves at near rainboom speed. I collapsed back to the floor for a moment, my vision blurred around the edges, but clearer than normal in the middle. I breathed deeply a few times before getting up and dashing with every ounce of strength I had.

I was afraid. I was truly mortified. Not with petty fear of a creeping shadow, or an unexpected touch. Nay. I was fearing Death itself. I was terrified that Twilight had already lost too much blood. I thought about a transfusion. I wanted to be optimistic about it, but I honestly believed that she was close to death if not already dead before she reached the hospital. I felt my throat contract, cutting off my ability to breathe. But I forced the air into my lungs anyway, knowing I'd need every second I could spare if I was to have a chance to help Twilight.

Through Ponyville I ran, shoving ponies out of my way with bloody hooves. The whole while, I cried, leaving a trail of teardrops in the dirt streets. Ponies I passed muttered things under their breaths, I'm sure, but I was too busy having a panic attack. I tried to scream a warning to move, but my voice was broken now, so I made do shoving ponies like Cheerilee that could brush it off, and jumping over ponies like Granny Smith that couldn't.

I arrived at the hospital in maybe a minute. I looked pleadingly at the nurse behind the desk, who stared back in shock. I took one step towards her, leaving a bloody hoofprint on the bleached white tiles. She pointed to the left, cowering behind her desk. I dashed off to find Twilight.

When I turned a corner, I saw Rainbow curled up in a tight ball, rocking back and forth in terror. I shoved past her, barging into the room where Twilight was.

"You can't-"

"Oh-negative," I growled. "She's my marefriend, and I have Oh-negative blood."

"Nurse Redheart, prep her for transfusion," the doctor barked.

Within minutes, I was laying in the bed next to her, just three meters away from her, separated only by a machine. I felt a bit lightheaded as I was drained of blood, but I had to be strong. I glanced at Twilight, watching her unconscious body lie limply on the bed. Her bandaged chest rose and fell only by millimeters, emphasizing just how weakened she had gotten. I let loose the last tears I had, praying to the deities to watch over Twilight. With a deep breath, I steeled myself to protect her until she either woke, or slipped away.

--

I had gotten used to the unnaturally clean stench of the hospital. The buzzes and beeps were as normal to me as the tick-tocks of watches and clocks. I had gotten accustomed to laying on the hospital bed next to her so I could watch over her in the night. I didn't sleep a wink while I was there, choosing instead to keep watch over her and the machines that were helping her recover.

I stayed in that hospital for a week while she recovered. I wished for nothing more than for her to wake up, if only for a moment before she died so I could tell her how much I cared for her. I just wanted to tell her that I loved her. I just wanted to kiss her. I just wanted her.

A sudden extra beat was beeped out by the heart monitor. I glanced at it, wondering if I'd begun hallucinating from lack of sleep. After twenty seconds of nothing, I deflated again. But as soon as I did, I heard the monitor play a tone that I'd been told meant her heart rate had climbed above sixty beats-per-minute. I glared at the monitor, irked.

But it was right. Her heart rate had begun climbing back to the normal range. Sixty-three, sixty-five, climbing upwards slowly but steadily. I watched wide-eyed. Twilight was waking up.

She twitched adorably in her sleep, rubbing a bandaged hoof against the side of her muzzle. I smiled warmly, watching intently. The room went silent, the machines now satisfied that she was within normal parameters, my heart satisfied that Twilight was safe and healing. I stood up from my bed, now looming over her like a guard. I lowered my muzzle, and pecked her cheek. "It's time to wake up, Twilight..."

She mumbled a bit of gibberish in her sleep, and turned her muzzle further into her pillow. I giggled for the first time in ages, admiring all of the adorable things about her. Of course, I was still semi-ashamed of myself for loving her, and I felt incredibly guilty for shocking her like I had, but I was recovering little by little. I didn't cut myself anymore.

I smiled and poked her ear with a hoof, earning me a firm half-asleep slap on the hoof. "Wake up, sleepyhead."

"Five more minutes..." she groaned.

"You've already slept a week away, Twilight," I whispered directly into her ear, making it twitch.

"But 'Shy... I don't wanna get up!" she whined foalishly, making me giggle warmly.

"If you don't get up," I started with a smile, "I won't kiss you."

She turned her muzzle out of her pillow and looked up at me, "You're evil." She looked around, taking in her surroundings. She slowly dragged her eyes across the pale hospital room, her eyes widening as she did so.

"Why are we in the hospital?" she asked quietly. "Last I remember, we fell asleep in the library."

"That was a dream, Twi," I answered. "You've been out for a week. Doc says you were sleep-deprived, and your body shut down."

"That doesn't explain the blood on the IV," she countered, frowning at the IV drip. The pouch of blood in it was three-quarters full, and lethargically draining.

"That's my blood. You fell on your knife and lost a lot of blood, in addition to your cuts," I replied. I lifted myself up onto her bed and hugged her tightly but gently. "I was so scared!"

"'Shy... D-do you... y-you know... l-love me?" she choked out, almost too quietly to be heard. I could feel her heartbeat quicken in her chest. She held her breath.

I giggled foalishly, "I haven't slept since you got here because I was too scared to leave you. Of course I love you."

"But... Why me? What makes a suicidal cutter like me so special?" She looked down at the floor, turning away from me. Her eyes drooped a little bit, shame painting her face.

I turned her head to face me so I could look into her beautiful amethyst eyes. As a tear rolled down her cheek, I whispered,"Because you wore a better mask than me. I honestly believed that you were happy, and confident, and beautiful. Now that I know what I do, though..."

She grimaced as I paused. I smiled and kissed her nose.

"I want you to believe those things too," I finished with a smile, wiping her tear away. I pecked her lips for just a split second, making her eyes widen a bit. But as I felt the lingering warmth and softness of her lips, I felt a longing for just a little more. I gently kissed her again.

It was much warmer that time. They felt like warm, soft marshmallows, softly pressing against my own lips. My eyes melted halfway shut, only remaining open enough to judge Twilight's reaction. Her eyes slowly closed, and a light blush stained her pale cheeks. She weakly lifted a bandaged hoof to my chest, as though trying to feel my heartbeat. I smiled, breaking apart after about ten seconds.

We were on the road to recovery. Despite everything our lives had thrown at us, we survived. With our kiss, our burden was lifted from our hearts. There were warm feelings to ward off the pain. Slowly, with time and our new warm feelings, I knew we'd both heal from our hurt...

Together.

Author's Note:

Okay. I'm going to make this perfectly clear. I am not a cutter. I have no idea how it feels, nor do I particularly want to. For my friends that I seem to have struck too closely to home, I apologize if this story has caused you any sort of discomfort or dredged up bad memories. You know who you are.

The spoken word poem 'Thinking' in the first half is mine, and I do have copyright claims on it.

I hope you sadistic bastards have enjoyed this story. Thank you for reading.

<3 DarqFox

Comments ( 31 )

Marvelous...simply marvelous....

This is exceptional! Good job Darq!

I have had experience on both sides of the line although I'm not proud of it, and this story captured them perfectly. I am startled that you haven't had experience with at least being the one that eased the pain even if you haven't been the cutter. Great story over all.:twilightsmile:

2804067
I honestly have no idea how I'm able to write about things I've never experienced. I've never had my first kiss, yet I write make-out scenes pretty damn well according to my fans, and now I write this and supposedly I did it perfectly. I don't know how I do it.

Thank you for taking the time to comment. :3

<3 DarqFox

2805869 Anytime! I love commenting on peoples stuff! But no one comments on my stuff:fluttercry:

I loved the story but I was like "Awwww that's it?!" :fluttercry:

2817445
There was only so much story to tell. I couldn't exactly extend it without making it drag too long and kill Twi because of it. I'll write more dark TwiShy whenever it comes to me, but for now, that's it. Sorry.

<3 DarqFox

2818907 Don't get me wrong, I loved the story. I just like to read a lot at night and your fic had me feeling all warm and fuzzy inside and suddenly I couldn't scroll down anymore. I read it a few times over though cuz it's an awesome fic :)

2820358
Adorable ponies cutting themselves = Warm & fuzzy. ? Am I missing something here?

Either way, thank you very much. If you haven't already, go read 'The Frozen North'. That's a much longer read with lots of warm fluff and adorableness.

<3 DarqFox

Dude this story almost brought me to tears man I mean really it's pretty heavy stuff

This was a well written story. The Fluttershy x Twilight (idk their ship name sorry). One change I might suggest is change the word cutter to self harmer or something. Some people can think it's slightly offensive to be called a cutter... But overall a really good story.

2862262
I believe the Ship name you're looking for is TwiShy :yay::heart::twilightblush:

I have this thing about not censoring my work. If it offends someone, that's their beef. I won't be apologizing for using terms that I feel are the proper terms. Plus, there are various types of 'self-harmer's out there. Cutters, burners, among others. Either way, the line 'I'm a cutter.' wouldn't quite have that same percussive finality to it if I were to change it to 'I'm a self-harmer.'

I thank you for the honest opinion, but concern me not with the "People might be offended" crap. I don't care about offending people. I stopped caring when people started trying to convince me that a Christmas tree was a 'Holiday tree'.

<3 DarqFox

Darkly beautiful. I know these feels. Shitty dark feels i've felt. And things i've considered doing, and have done. Beautiful Poetry, once again.

Brings up Bad memories...though it makes me have hope in the end. Maybe i'll find something like that. Love.

Excellent story. Sorry to ramble about stuff.
I'm off to read something happy and great! Like The Frozen North or something you wrote! <3

2871502
The Frozen North is the perfect thing to read after this dark story. It's sickeningly sweet and adorable. It's essentially soul-bleach.

And I like rambling comments. <3

<3 DarqFox

2871512 I could use that then. I'm off to bleach my soul! <3 Thanks for giving me something to do today btw. Was bored as hell. I'll just read all your work :) <3

About a week ago you recommended that I read this story so I decided to give it a shot. Now that I have finished it, I can honestly ask you this: Why would you do that? :fluttercry: Great story but man it made me sad.

2930457
I was listening to Exile Vilify. On a 10 hour plane ride.

<3 DarqFox

2931837 Excuses haha, anyway I look forward to the next chapter of Blind :twilightsmile: TwiShy is one of my favorite pairs so I am glad to see a good story for it.

Once again, a very good TwiShy story, I'd give this a 10/10 :D

2972960
One question.

How are your feels?

<3 DarqFox

Comment posted by flames0199 deleted Aug 1st, 2013
Comment posted by flames0199 deleted Aug 1st, 2013

DarqFox what do u mean, how are my feels? Sorry a bit tired so pardon my stupidness

2973052
How did this story make you feel?

<3 DarqFox

it made me happy knowing fluttershy gets to be with twilight, and made me feel a bit creeped out that they both cut themselves, I like that in some stories, why?

How can something be so dark and so adorable at the same time?
I'll give you a 3.5/5 on this not my favorite but it was somewhat enjoyable to read.
~Tobben

5131138
This story was not meant to be adorable in any manner. It was meant to be incredibly, soul-wrenchingly dark, with a bittersweet ending. This is not a sweet story. This is as bitter as it gets. Coffee grounds are candy compared to this.

If this story is "adorable" to you in any sense, you may quite possibly need to re-evaluate what you consider "adorable".

<3 DarqFox

PS: Please do not give me a number rating on my stories, as it actually distracts me from doing my job of writing the story. If you like it, that's great. If you don't that's great. I give zero fucks. My stories aren't written for my followers. They're written for me.

5137764 First off i use the term "Adorable" very loosely and it was more to describe the end part of the story. Plus i'am a very grim dark person myself so anything with the smallest of romantic gestures is cute to me.
Second, I use numbers as a way to scale my likeness of the story, i can stop with the numbers if you like i just use them for an easy way out of writing a long comment about what i like and din't like about a story. I'am rather lazy like that
~Tobben

This was stupendous! As a former cutter, I will attest to how hard a habit it is to break and how the pain just seems to make things go away. You captured that pain perfectly and really did well in building up the bond between Fluttershy and Twilight!

Wow That Is So Sad But Also So Beautiful At The Same Time I Made Me Cry:fluttercry:

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