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The Frozen North. A beautiful yet unforgiving place. Most of the ponies that go there are adventurers or outdoorsponies. Yet for the rare few, it is a place where warm feelings blossom where flowers cannot.

Musical inspiration: The Frozen North by Radiarc

Visual Inspiration: Snow Landscape by editmode

First Published
27th Apr 2013
Last Modified
26th May 2013
#1 · 85w, 6d ago · · · Aurora ·

Once again you have created a story full of Dawww. Well done, good sir/madam.

#2 · 85w, 6d ago · · · Aurora ·

Fluttershy is heartbreaking ferret. :yay:

Darq, you am ferret. Ferret on good ferret friend:rainbowkiss::twilightsmile:

#3 · 85w, 6d ago · · · Aurora ·

This was amazingly adorable and i hope you extend it into a longer story:yay::heart::twilightsmile:

#4 · 85w, 6d ago · · · Aurora ·

this was nice.  i like how we could see bit's of twi's personality through her naritive, which is something a lot of fanfiction authors fail at.:twilightsmile:

#5 · 85w, 6d ago · · · Aurora ·

>>2489750 >>2489946 >>2489985 >>2490208

I love you guys. Maybe I will extend this another chapter, just to see where it goes. :3 Maybe.

Maybe.

<3 DarqFox

#6 · 85w, 5d ago · · · Aurora ·

brilliant if i do say so myself

#7 · 85w, 5d ago · · · Aurora ·

Your synopsis caught my eye, and since I forgot the character tags by the time I started reading, you managed to keep me in suspense for the better part of the story. While vivid, lengthy descriptions are fine in moderation, such as when describing your unique setting, using them throughout becomes monotonous. Lastly, the characterizations seemed off. For the better part of the story, I thought they were original, and I'd have been totally fine with that if they had more personality.

#8 · 85w, 5d ago · · · Aurora ·

>>2492670

Thank you much for taking the time to give me this feedback. I've been given a bit of "crap" for usually sticking to ~1000 word chapters/one-shot-stories and I decided to beef up my word count by adding in more description, which I tend to skimp on. I usually use this analogy when writing to better tell what needs more "oomf":

Action = Percussion

Detail = Woodwinds

Dialogue = Brass

I usually favor the percussion section, because let's be honest, I've read enough Charles Dickens to know that over-use of woodwinds and lack of percussion makes for a brain-meltingly boring song story. I felt a bit percussion-heavy for this particular piece and it didn't quite take the feel of a chorale without the glorious woodwinds. I'll keep that advice about backing off on the woodwinds in mind.

As for the characterization, I feel I did a pretty good job, seeing as the point of this particular piece of the story is meant to portray Fluttershy as an angel, quite literally. As for the portrayal of Twlight, we all know how modest she is (Boast Buster episode) so I really tried to bring that trait out. And yes, I did keep both characters anonymous (save for the tags at the story page) for quite a hefty portion of the story. I was trying to have the readers guess who it was (which isn't hard if you pay attention to the distinctions like when I wrote pink mane towards the beginning few paragraphs that I put there.

Again, I thank you for your time and opinion, as feedback is an important part of growth. I will keep in mind your critique of my woodwind usage, and I shall hope to impress my readers with the next update.

<3 DarqFox

#9 · 85w, 5d ago · · · Aurora ·

First off, let me compliment you on a very beautifully written story. We get to see Fluttershy and her ability to communicate with animals shine here, as does Twilight's organizational and time management skills. However, we aren't given anything on the how or why of Twilight's attraction to Fluttershy. We, as the audience is simply blindsided with them already having been marefriends for awhile. I don't doubt the sincerity of her feelings towards Fluttershy, given that she has planned a trip to show Fluttershy the auroras.Might I suggest vignettes/ flashbacks illustrating the qualities or actions that Twilight loves about Fluttershy? Or even an internal cataloging of qualities which she likes about Fluttershy would also be very much like Twilight, given her propensity to lists and categorization/ cataloging things. Plus, given the lack of verbal communication taking place between the two, it would be very believable to have Twilight retreating into her thoughts, or having vignettes/ flashbacks during their journey towards their destination.

#10 · 85w, 5d ago · · · Aurora ·

>>2493276

Thank you very much for the feedback. I love it when people do that. (so long as they remain positively constructive.)

There will be much more explanation in the next chapter, which I'm sure will bring plenty of feels. I can't reveal much, but I can say that I will be explaining some of the 'why' behind it. I am working on it now.

Again, thank you for taking the time to give a good, positive, constructive review. :twilightsmile: People like you make my day.

<3 DarqFox

#11 · 85w, 5d ago · · · Aurora ·

The first person view was a tad jarring but it was written so nicely it didn't have a negative impact. :twilightsmile:Is it ok if I listened to some Skyrim music while reading this? It did blend nicely after all.

#12 · 85w, 5d ago · · · Aurora ·

>>2493597

Depends. Can you provide a link to the song?

<3 DarqFox

#13 · 85w, 5d ago · · · Aurora ·

>>2493715

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyinQVDvWKE&list=PL71A09829F786ECB3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjV4LyIENpI&list=PL71A09829F786ECB3

I lived in a tropical climate my whole life so when you describe a frozen tundra I can only really understand Skyrim. I had a question about your story though. I noticed that you used many allusions to temperature. For example Fluttershy is a warm presence that contrasts to the climate they are in. While this made for descriptive immersion I am surprised they were both able to hike in such a unforgiving climate so naturally. Are they not as affected by the cold or did Twilight use a warming spell? :twilightoops:

#14 · 85w, 5d ago · · · Aurora ·

Well.... that was beautiful good sir. Loved it. I wouldn't mind if you would continue this. Greetings

#15 · 85w, 5d ago · · · Aurora ·

>>2492984

I so rarely read fan fiction these days that I always try to give some semblance of feedback.

You certainly have an interesting way of weighing your stories. I can only assume from that and your synopsis that you're a musician as well as a writer.

I was a surrealist before I started writing, and a playwright before I took up prose. Both show in how seldom I edit to balance dialogue with narration and description. On that note, your brass was very subdued, but since it doesn't disrupt the harmony, I assume it was intentional.

#16 · 85w, 5d ago · · · Aurora ·

>>2494277

Quite intentional for my lack of brass. And yess, I am a musician. I'm in the woodwind section. This piece is a written equivalent of a chorale, which is very slow and relaxed, and built on the moving lines. Most of the sound is chords. Since this is a chorale, I tend to favor my woodwinds because of the excellent tamber of reeds, rather than the thin and nasal-y sound of brass. I added the brass for a few 'pop' lines ("I've been waiting, Love...") because they project the sound significantly better than woodwinds can.

I was a poet before I was a musician, and a musician before I got into prose. Because of my experience with symphonic winds, I can write with a balance between those three elements. But sometimes, I will favor one section over another as necessary. (like percussion for an action sequence)

Again, many thanks for the feedback.

>>2493979

Twi used magic and Flutters is naturally immune to the cold, being a pegasus and all. There's more story on the way, so thank you for reminding me to insert that little point in there. :3

<3 DarqFox

#17 · 85w, 4d ago · · · Aurora ·

Looks cool

#19 · 85w, 2d ago · · · Bloom (Day) ·

Loving this so far

#21 · 85w, 2h ago · · · Bloom (Day) ·

>>2521480

Umlolwut?

<3 DarqFox

#22 · 84w, 4d ago · · · Bloom (Day) ·

Oh, the detail, the natural feeling of adorableness, the simple beauty of the written word! My friend, I weep in joy at your work!

#23 · 84w, 4d ago · · · Bloom (Day) ·

>>2534587

Mission accomplished.

<3 DarqFox

Absolutly adore this fic :twilightsmile: it's just so adorable! I can't wait for the next chapter. (Gonna take a while huh?) You are good with words, I sily cannot get over how much detail you put into your descriptions, and how much you took a true relationship, a completely real relationship moving along. Most people just jump straight in (haha me included for some.) but you rarely see these types, and so expertly written. I shall be reading your other stories soon :twilightsmile: Thanks for the story ^.^

>>2561748

:heart: You just made my day. :pinkiehappy:

And yes, I did go all out on the details. They are what the entire story is supposed to be, a slow moving relationship with all of the details to make you have a HNNNG attack and die. I try very hard to make my d'awws lethal. Glad you enjoyed it.

<3 DarqFox

Thanks for the stalk! Have a moustache. :moustache:

An adorable end for a wonderful chapter. Bravo friend, bravo.

And like AppleDashFan132 said, I love how the story has the two already together, but it feels natural to have it so. Most who write a story just kinda thrust us into the relationship and explain later. You however, you kind of make this story like the show in the sense of the less we know, the more we want if that makes sense.

No update of this for awhile huh? Well, it'll definitely be worth the wait :twilightsmile:

Also, a contest huh? May have to take a peek at that

>>2562184

A TwiShy contest no less. :yay:

And no update for a bit. I just got the idea on what to do next, but I'll need a bit of time. I'll  be working on the VERY LATE chapter of 'Just in Time', which is going to introduce some heavy conflict.

And yes, it does make sense that the less you know, the more you want to know. It's called curiosity. I've been trying very hard to instill that in my stories, and it seems I've gotten it this time. :twilightsmile:

<3 DarqFox

That was adorable

:yay::heart::twilightsmile:

I am so glad i kept forcing myself not to read start this before I did. When I saw a new chapter was up I was instantly enthused to read it only to remember I had things to do. Everything I got back to my computer I was either only there long enough to attend to my daily matters or I was getting ready for sleep. Had I attempted to read this any sooner something else would have been pushed aside to make time for this wonderful piece of art.

>>2569559

Took me eight tries to read your message and understand it. Almost insulted that you put it off, but life comes before stories about talking ponies. :yay:

<3 DarqFox

>>2569751

I apologize for my hard to understand message was multitasking [after i finished the chapter] and forgot to proofread it  [it turned out as well as the other message i was trying to type about that time was not on my game then] I wish what i was doing during my putting it off was more important than it was though it was daily check ups on games i play and working on a project of my own that hold no real merit [I actually have to restart it so the work was wasted] Although i wasn't in the best of moods or my own work may have been better that's something for me to think about before I restart. But the time still might not have been there for me to fully engross myself in the chapter and truly appreciate it like i did when I finally made the time. Your work is once again fantastic and it reminds me there are still stories of your i need to check out.

Darq, this chapter was amazing :twilightsmile: I dunno about the kissing descriptions because well, never gone that far myself, but was extremely well done. (Hopefully thats what it is like :applejackunsure:) The description you use in every context is baffling. How is it you do that so well? You leave a picture in my mind that doesn't waver in the slightest throughout the story. It just flows and flows until the story stops. Truly a skill that not many can bring to surface this well... This story is absolutely beautiful, and I look forward to your final chapter. I know you won't disapoint. :twilightsmile:

>>2597403

...

I FEEL SO LOVED!

You're stroking my ego a bit too much here. In all honesty, I very much question my descriptions, which is part of why I wrote this story: to improve my description. Description is one of my least favored areas, especially in 'Ever Free', which is prolly my worst story by my own standards, yet it's the first one I ever actually completed. I've come a long way, but I have 20% farther to go. Or was it 20 times longer...

I thank you for your praise. Here. Take this moustache. :moustache:

<3 DarqFox

>>2597490 well in the beginning when I first started reading, the descriptions were overwhelming. At first I didn't know what to think, and as I read on I noticed it was meant to be like that. Once that got through (halfway through the first chapter) I really got into it. I think the description being your weak point (still don't see it... Everyone has their preferences right?) is just you probably don't focus on it as much as other parts of the storymaking process. Cause in this story I see no problems with it.

>>2597775

In relation to my most used and aforementioned band analogy, I definitely favor brass and percussion a bit, which is ironic because I'm a woodwind player. I will be taking what I learned from this story and applying it to my other stories. Perhaps I'll rewrite Ever Free.

<3 DarqFox

Thank you for so avidly following this story. :3 You know not how much I appreciate that.

>>2598114 you and it definately deserves it :twilightsmile:

LOVE LOVE LOVE IT. Truly wonderful I must say :yay:

Words cannot describe the joy I feel when I read this chapter, nor can they accurately describe the majestic flow of words you have put together for this chapter my friend. Every little detail, every little action felt to me like...I dunno really...like one of those beautiful moments in time when you're alone and you just see something that baffles your mind into a confused silence of bliss. (And I thought you did quite well for the making out bit. I mean, that kind of thing is a different sensation for different people, but I think you nailed it for Twilight and Fluttershy. Kudos good sir, kudos.)

>>2605918

<3 You just brought the lone ray of sunshine into my otherwise horrid day. I thank you for the compliments and praise. I'm working feverishly on chapter 4 part 1 so that you guys can enjoy that soon.

<3 DarqFox

I'm off to go bleed my bad blood again. If you want to read my blood, check out my blog.

Well I'm gonna say it was pretty damn good. Best ship fic I'll ever read

Amazing as always, I'll be looking forward to the last chapter.

Awwwwww... only one more chapter... Oh well. Hahahaha, great chapter as always :twilightsmile: I shall await the other part to this ^.^

>>2621573

Don't forget the epilogue! :yay:

I recently had an idea for a semi-connected/similar-idea type story with more TwiShy adorableness and POSSIBLY steam. I'll be mulling it over.

<3 DarqFox

Any thoughts on the steam?

>>2621666 Hahahaha, well, I'm not exactly one for the "extra's" haha, but you have done it well enough, going far enough to allow the reader a detailed action, but not so far as to give them more than is needed. It was well put, hahaha. Like I said, I'm not one for that soooo... not great on what should be there... at all. haha :twilightsheepish: Also, more TwiShy addorableness?!?!?! I am so in! ^.^ (You got me into ShyxPony fics... You. Are. AWESOME! :raritystarry:)

>>2622232

I saw a picture on the interwebs that inspired me to make something similar in nature to this. However, the setting will provoke more dialogue and more inter-pony interaction.

I can't say more without spoiling it.

<3 DarqFox

>>2622243 Then say no more :twilightsmile: haha, in the meantime though, I beieve I must check out your other stories now. If this one was any concolation they should be awesome :twilightsmile:

>>2622262

I'd suggest 'The Butterfly Dragon'

It's more TwiShy adorableness.

<3 DarqFox

>>2622273 Then I shall read that one first ^.^ (I'll read em all! :twilightsmile:) Should take me a good 2-6hrs depending on the length, and if I don't get any interruptions... (It's another all nighter with new stories! *Squee*)

Another amazing chapter from our dear friend DarqFox. I absolutely love you were able to convey how...intimate these two ponies are with each other by showing and not telling us. And while I'll admit that'd I'd have loved to to have seen their scene explained in greater detail, I still love how you made it more emotional by explaining the aftermath rather than the act itself.

Bravo good sir, bravo

>>2623480

The only reason I didn't do the clop scene is because I have a fairly strict 'no-clop' policy in place. I don't write the stuff. but either way, I'm glad you liked. :3

<3 DarqFox

Keep watch, because I have more TwiShy adorableness inbound. :yay:

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