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- sniper125 · 2.1k words · 54 0 · 2.3k views
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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hope this is gildashy
2704141
hehe, thats exactly what this is. A Gildashy fic. This couple caught my interest and here it is. I hope you enjoy it.
2704141 Yes gildashy the best shipping ever with twixie, rainbowjack, sparity, octiscratch, and scootabloom.
Gilda was a pretty interesting character, never was exactly a villain. She was just mean but has the potential to be redeemed. It'll be funny to see fluttershy's reaction to seeing her again.
For a first fic it's a great start, good imagery, an understanding of the characters and interesting to read. This story has potential, I'm not sure how long this will be but it will be cool to see how things will progress.
Could be a lot worse my friend, not a bad start at all. I would suggest separating the paragraphs into smaller ones though, it can be annoying to go through a wall of text no matter how good the writing is.
Keep at it!
2705553
I'm glad you enjoy the first chapter. Its good to see that I won't have to wait like months before I get replies lol. I'll get the next chapter up as soon as possible.
2707041
I realized this after some editing and looking at other people's stories. Its just kinda hard to think of when to break off into the next paragraph. I'll work on it as the story goes along and thanks for the feedback.
2707112
A good way to do it is to do it by dialogue. One person talks and that's either the beginning or the of a paragraph.
Just go with what feels natural I guess, anyway experience will help.
2707118
Thanks again for your feedback, the next chapter is up. I hope you like it.
A bit too fast paced and a few spelling errors, but aside from that this is going pretty good.
i think that's what you meant to say
2707667
Fast paced huh? I don't exactly understand. Could you explain?
2707891
It's just that they immediately jumped from enemies, well the closet thing you could be too an enemy to Fluttershy anyway, to friends just like that. Fluttershy is very....well shy to people she doesn't know. I'm assuming they must have had some prior history together and not the good kind.
All this combined makes me think that Fluttershy would not have been acting this friendly straight from the beginning, Gilda would probably be a bit more guarded too.
All that said, it's definitely possible for the characters to have acted this way, just unlikely unless they already had some prior positive feelings toward each other. It's likely just the shortness of the chapters getting to me though.
2708097
I apologize that you feel this way, There will be some twists and turns that will cause them to be on an off, between positive and negative feelings. Also, I understand the point your making but if you add the fact that Fluttershy is the Element of Kindness, along with her shy demeanor, do you really expect someone like her to hold a grudge? Thats just how I felt when I wrote this chapter.
Have a like and a fav!
Gilda in a maid uniform...wonder how this will go?
2755164
Lol don't get me started, my mind is buzzing with devious ideas lol.
Very unlikely Gilda would take all that without taking a fit, no matter how hard she needs a place to crash.
Oh, and the chapters are sooooooooooooo short
otherwise this is pretty nice, can't wait for the next chaper, have a fave and a like
2837213
I get your point but at the same time, look at her situation. She can't fly, got no money, no place to stay AND no food. I made it this way so she could be desperate. When your desperate you make mistakes... embarassing and hurtful mistakes. I am also trying to improve my attention span when writing so I don't get bored and end up writing a short chapter. The next one should at least get me back on track.
2837903
Don't get me wrong, these are all just minor complains, all in all this is a pretty good and interesting story.
If Gilda is doing all this (mainly) out of desperation, maybe you could make that a little more obvious at some points, but maybe that's just my opinion.
Since you mentioned Gilda's wounded wings: I was a little surprised that Dash didn't even bother to right away ask what happened. Maybe she just assumed it happened during a stunt or something like that, but still I had at least expected her to be a little worried over her old friend's health.
2838137
I used the fact that Rainbow isnt good with words. My plan is that this will lead to a conflict in the future, but im not gonna spoil the surprise. You give great feedback! :)
2838268
No problem, just let me know when the constructive criticism gets annoying, though
My deepest sympathy on the loss of your mother. I am sure that in this case I can speak for all of us on this site. Our condolences and prayers are with you.
B.D.
Aw Christ, sorry for the loss and I hope you and the rest of your family are doing alright.
How tragic i'm am sorry for your loss
That's....sad.
You should continue her story.
I am saddened to hear of the canceling, and I give my deepest condolences for the loss of your mother, she was a great writer
I do ask that you post a link to your page here so that I might enjoy some of your work as well
3029031
Thanks all for your support. I might continue her story at a later date. Again, my account can be found as x4ever_alonex
I work by tablet, so excuse my bad typing and long pause periods.
This wasn't was I was expecting to find while looking for new fics to read.
I am so sorry for your loss, and I will make sure to read and enjoy her story to help her memory live on.
First I wish to say I am sorry for your loss.I just started reading your mother's fanfiction not to long ago. I really enjoyed her way of writing. The world is a sadder place with out her but I'm sure other myself as well will keep reading her work so she will live on forever and the hearts of her fans.