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After being sent to Ponyville to be the day guards representative in an ongoing investigation about nightly ponynappings, Nova is pulled into a war between the sun and the moon, one that shall encompass all the races of equestria, and cause devastation throughout the land.
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Hmm... Shall I read it now, or shall I read it later. Decisions decisions.
My, my, dear friend. This is far better than I had first perceived. It is a splendid piece of work, and I only detected but a single error in the whole thing. Very well done. I cannot wait for more.
...
Ah, and the reference was quite humorous indeed. I couldn't help but think of Keagos as Sheogorath in dragon form. Quite fun indeed.
seems like a great story keep it up
2691468
I will, it might take a while, but I'm already a few thousand words into the next chapter.
Your choice, just do read it, please, or at least give it a chance.
2693718
Thank you
2692151
We have a genius here! Everybody listen to this handsome fellow.
Anyway, I haven't played in a long time, but I had to do it, it felt so right. Yea, I was thinking about Sheogorath while writing him
What was the error?
2693865
BUCK THAT SHIT. 
A word was missing from a sentence... shit I should have recorded which one. I'm not going back to check either! Over 8000 words?
Maybe if my OCD becomes strong enough, I will check again, but for now, my sanity is more important!
Yea! I just submitted this thing to EQD and it wasn't instantly rejected! Yea!
.
Unfortunately, I don't think/know if it will get on the full site, but they have on there that 80% of stories submitted get insta rejected, so I'm happy
If it does eventually get rejected, then I'll just have to try harder
This review was brought to you on behalf of Authors Helping Authors
Name: Puppets of Darkness
Grammar Score out of 10: 7
Pros:
Nice plot and excellently written so far.
Good, classic characterization.
Very amusing dialog at times.
Cons:
A high, sometimes annoying, amount of run-on sentences.
Far too much use of commas and tending to drag sentences out.
In heavy need of proof reading.
Notes:
Okay first off, I would like to say before anything else, that this seems to be a very promising story if done correctly and with several plot twists. Although this was just a prologue, it was very well done and I look forward to more. However, it suffers from long, running sentences, a fair sum of which turn into run-on sentences. You could really have something great here, it just needs cared for and properly nurtured. All-in-all, very inauspicious plot-wise for our beloved dragons and I give it 3/5 cupcakes. (No, not those kind)
Enjoy the review, and please help me out by looking over Genesis. Thank you.
Never stop loving,
-Power to the Bronys
2701543
. I'll definitely give your story a look and a review... But it might take a few days before I get to it, I have a lot of stuff I have to do, but I will get around to it. And again, thanks for the review and critique!
Thanks for the review! I know I need to work on using less commas, I've had that problem for a while, but the run on sentences thing is new. I'll do some research and try to get better
2702292
No problem. I enjoy looking over other ponies' works and giving an honest opinion. If you want, I could go over that prologue again and point out where the run-ons are. But your call on that.
But I legitimately enjoyed your story. It's definitely got that "I need to find out what the buck happens!" feel to it, which is excellent.
2702841
!
If you don't mind that would be excellent
Good to hear that people are enjoying my story and that it isn't a failure.
2702999
However, it may take a few days, and I will need your email address (you can PM it to me). On a side note, do you use or have available Microsoft Word?
Alright, than I shall do so.
2703582
It is?
Fantastic! This looks like the beginning of a new Pony Epic, 8000 WORD PROLOGUE and shows great promise
please continue writing; I've been looking for a story like this forever! Not only can I see this unraveling into a massive story, your writing and character's POV's seems realistic and completely interesting! The involvement of dragons, Luna, and Discord (his being mentioned) already have me pacing- WRITE MORE FASTER!!! 
Although, please don't write too fast to lose quality 
It took me barely more than reading the first paragraph to like and favorite this story, and especially I enjoyed Keagos's queues in conversations! 
Can't wait for more- Flutterguy33
2704764
! But... well everything you said helps with knowing what I got right, but I would prefer to know what I got wrong first. Do you have any suggestions or comments as to how to make it better 
?
Thanks for reading, and I'm glad you liked it
REVIEW
Reviewer: Arcticbrony
The following review is as objective as possible but could eventually contain some subjective influences. I'm Norwegian by blood and a Viking by heart. So with my helmet on and my axe in hand I’ll get to work.
Once you’ve posted your story in the group A For Effort you’ve accepted to be reviewed. No review is made to humiliate the writer but to make him grow up and enhance his skills.
Name of story : Puppets of Darkness
Grammar: 8.5 you had a tendency to drag your sentences at times, making some parts a bit tedious to read.
Spelling: The only thing I found was a word that was missing. Although it was in a dialogue so it may have been intentional. (Hate dialogue for that reason.)
The story is certainly interesting, and does an excellent job of catching the reader's attention.
You also make it very easy for the reader to create a mental image with your descriptions.
It's a concept that i have not seen before. From where it currently stands, it had a lot of potential.
Approved
It has a few flaws, but nothing a good proofreader can't help you with.
This is good! Can't wait to see what happens next :)
2722529
Thank you :)
Goodness, an evil!Luna fanfic in this day and age? I thought these went extinct long ago.