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  • 141w, 6d
    My Little Pony: I TOLD YOU THE TOYS ACTUALLY MATTERED + Mini fic

    http://ponibooru.413chan.net/post/view/131034

    See that comic? It surfaced a while ago and many people claimed it as fake (I don't blame em, sure looks dodgy as hell).

    I intended to write a parody fanfic based on it, but it never got further than about a page, so I scrapped it.

    I actually care about the MLP toys to some extent, being a toy collector by hobby, and it kinda annoys me when people dismiss all the toys as being useless garbage and  having no direct impact on the show. This kind of view is just totally wrong and ignorant. The current generation of pony toys are actually quite good for what they are; toys for LITTLE GIRLS. Y'KNOW, THE TARGET AUDIENCE? I'd say they're superior to previous generations of pony toys, but girl toys aren't exactly my expertise. They've always influenced the show to some extent, an old interview revealed that Twilight Sparkle's balloon was only put there because Hasbro asked them to because they made a toy of it. Same goes for the train in season 2 (in fact, the toy line not only has a motorized train, but a whole line of re-released brushables with train accessories).

    I'm not saying the toys are perfect and of course they're often not show-accurate or just make up something that is stupid and doesn't make sense but whatever that's not the point.

    The point is, remember a while back when they announced the "Wedding Castle Playset" with Shining Armor and Princess Cadence? Yeah, the inclusion of another alicorn kinda messes things up. Naturally, a lot of people dismissed it as "stupid toy crap doesn't effect the show".

    Well, have you read the latest episode synopsis?

    WHO'S LAUGHING NOW!?

    But then I remembered, third party pony stuff tend to use crappy vectors in a really fake way. The storybook app was that way, and it turned out to be right about the founding of Equestria as shown in Hearth Warming Eve (Albeit abridged and dumbed down for the target audience). So I thought...

    What if the above comic... IS CANON?

    And so with that thought, I wrote this litte diddy in five minutes earlier today instead of the proper fanfic I wanted to write! ENJOY!

    [Warning: some bad language]

    -------------------------------------------------------

    THIS SUMMER

    "Twilight Sparkle has been kidnapped by ziggers. Are you a bad enough filly to rescue Twilight?".

    RAINBOW DASH

    "Hurry Fluttershy! We can't be late to the wedding at the Wedding Castle Playset!"

    "Wedding Castle... what? Rainbow, what the feather are you talking about?"

    TERRY

    "What's you name again squirt?"

    "What!? Rainbow Dash, how could you forget my name? The name of your biggest fan! The leader of the Rainbow Dash fanclub! The filly who joins you at every-"

    "That's it! Terry! C'mon Terry, we gotta go rescue Twilight!"

    "I... but... my name..."

    "You coming or what Terry?"

    "...I-I'm coming Rainbow Dash...*sniff*"

    A FELLOWSHIP OF FRIENDS

    "We're all here for you Twilight dear"

    "At every step of the way!"

    "We'll always be here to help you..."

    ...AND APPLEJACK TOO

    "What the hay is THAT suppose to mean!?"

    MUST STRUGGLE TO TRIUMPH

    "Yeah, you go on ahead Rainbow Dash. We'll be here in the Castle if you need us."

    "Are you bucking serious? Why the hay aren't you coming with me?"

    "What? Go with you? Into the Ghetto-Ass Forest with all those filthy zebras? No thanks!"

    "I'll go with you Rainbow Dash"

    "Alright! At least Terry here's with me!"

    "Rainbow Dash, are you sure it's alright to take a filly into a dangerous part of the forest, crawling with criminals and degenerate sub-equine scum?"

    "I don't see a problem with this. Besides, Terry can hold his own. He once spent a whole month in the Everfree Forest, surviving only on bears he killed with his eye lasers and rocket fists!"

    "...Rainbow dear, have you been at the ketamine again?"

    "BUCK YOU I CAN QUIT WHENEVER I WANT"

    AGAINST THE FORCES OF EVIL

    "Once my plan is complete, I'll finally be able to rule as the sole Princess of Equestria! MWAHAHAHAHA!"

    "Ey yo yo, we ziggers gon be part o da new equzzizle rite?"

    "... Just keep eating your watermelon"

    FOR THE GREATEST TREASURE OF ALL

    "Rainbow Dash and Terry. As reward for your deeds, I, Princess Celestia, hereby present you with this."

    "...It's a balloon..."

    "It is a Royal Hot Air Balloon."

    "It's exactly the same as Twilight Sparkle's balloon..."

    "Actually, it is Twilight Sparkle's balloon. She recently invented another flying device with your friend Pinkie Pie and no longer needs this. With it, you may fly freely across the skies of Equestria."

    "But we can already fly, we're pegasi."

    "Oh. Well... um..."

    "I can't fly yet-"

    "Shut up Terry"

    BLOOD WILL FALL

    "Presenting the Royal Couple!"

    "What? Twilight, why are you the one getting married to-"

    "BLUEBLOOD!"

    "STAYPUFF MARSHMELLOW LADY! I thought I ate you last night!"

    "What!? How DARE you! I am Rarity of Ponyville!"

    "...Who?"

    "I was there at the maiden voyage of the S.S. Fabulous?"

    "Fleur de Lis?"

    "I got cake on you at the gala."

    "AGH! EVIL CAKE LADY! YOU SHALL NOT STAIN ME AGAIN! I just got this suit cleaned!"

    "Suit? You're wearing a bowtie and a fake collar"

    "... times have been hard on the Blueblood family"

    "Wait, why AM I getting married? Where the hell is my brother?"

    UNDER A BLACKENED EQUESTRIA

    "Hey look! Zecora's here!"

    "Ey yo, Rainbro mah zigga! How's it hanging in the hizzouse?"

    "Rainbow, I don't think that's Zecora..."

    "Don't be silly Twilight, she looks exactly like she always is! Except for the hat. Nice hat!"

    "Respect da pimp crown yo"

    "Word, brotha"

    "But he- er, she's not even rhyming!"

    "Sho I am, bitch.

    Mah namez Zecora

    Tribal decora

    Ah make potions wid da flora

    Any ho disrespect me

    Mah pimpin hoof is gonna floor-ya"

    "Aww yeah Z-man, your phat rhymes are wicked sick! How bout we hook up later and shoot some b-ball on the court?"

    "Ah'm always down fo sum b-ball wid mah Rainbow brotha"

    "Rainbow, you're scaring me..."

    MY LITTLE PONY: SPACE JAM IS SLAMMIN'

    ~COME ON AND SLAM~

    ~WELCOME TO THE JAM~

    ~COME ON AND SLAM~

    ~IF YOU WANNA JAM~

    "Rainbow Dash, why are we playing basket ball? Aren't we suppose to be saving Twilight?"

    "Aw c'mon Terry, shut up and slam!"

    IN CINEMAS DECEMBER 21 2012

    0 comments · 208 views
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An excerpt from an incomplete fanfic expanded into a series of shorts.

The rule of Discord may be over, but it left behind an unexpected legacy. Ponyville is no stranger to crazy ponies, but how will it cope with a being born from pure chaos?

First Published
29th Sep 2011
Last Modified
30th Sep 2011

Gosh. OH MY GOSH.

Total chaos. I love it. She INHALED apple back!!!!!:rainbowkiss:

Oh christ, bronies are going to have a field day with this character.

Gah! as a hater, this damn character will DEFINITALY BE used as a weapon. Shit.

I love it! This was really funny, looking forward to more.

Ah, Bizarro ponies!:pinkiehappy:

Almost certainly funnier than how I plan on using Screwball, because Bizarro + Myxzptlk = hilarity.

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My Head!!!!

:pinkiehappy:

This continues to be great! I was laughing the entire time. Screwball as a reality warping Bizzaro Pony is amazing!

GREAT.

Now Villepony weather was been bad in no-time!

it doesnt make any fucking sense!!!!!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE???!!!

OG COURSE HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO IGNORANT?!?!? SCREWBALL IS SO SMART OUR BRAINS CANT FILTER HER WORDS AND SO BEAUTIFUL THAT OUR EYES CANT LOOK AT HER WITHOUT GOING INSANE SO WE PUT UP THIS IMAGE OF HER BEING SO WEIRD! it all makes sense

Nice story and characterization, but I'm a little worried that her speech pattern is going to get annoying after awhile.

*head explodes* :pinkiecrazy:

Screwball will bring upon all Equestria the LOLercaust! :trollestia: Gallop for your lives... err... your sanity at least!

Also... why the hay are there no Luna poniemoticons? Dear Celestia, even TWIST got one, but not one Luna!?!

>>8439

Oh... I get it now... trying to be just like the actual series!

I C wut U did thar :rainbowlaugh:

The only illogical conclusion for this story to begin is to have a blank page.

Oh my god I laughed so hard it was painful. :rainbowlaugh:

I read that mare's entire dialogue in Bonbon's bag voice :rainbowlaugh:

Now that i think about it, it/she looks a lot like diamond tiara...We all knew she was evil!

Lol at last paragraph. sauce!

And I get it Screwball was supposed to be a chaotic/discorded diamond tiara

(I blew my own mind there too):derpytongue2:

Ah...Well that was interesting. First ever Earth Pony weathermare. And it'll work too. :applejackconfused: Can't brain right now, check back later.:derpyderp1::derpyderp2:~~

is it bad that i understand anything screwball say and like her nonlogic?

Oh, and what do you want him to do with that tongue, Skyra?:ajsmug::yay::moustache::rainbowkiss:

Well....:unsuresweetie:

>>8518

Shes diamond tiaras sister

>>8566 HOW DARE YOU SIR! she way too funny to be that brat sister (She obviously a creation of discord that avoided the whole reverting normal big beam thingie!

This is genius.

GENIUS.

How do to read things on this site!!!!!

*SQUEE*

There really needs to be more fics along this vein staring screwball. The premise is amazing :pinkiehappy:

>>8642 Im a girl. And secong, maybe she hates her sister too

:derpyderp1: :derpyderp2:

This hurts my brain to read.

Ahaha! This is great! I can't stop laughing. Is it strange I understand her just fine?

I'd like to direct your attention to the post made on tumblr by berry punch about her booze becoming a pony..............i'll leave the rest to you people/ponies to figure out :trollestia:

I am in contact with the same brand of insanity as Pinkie is, but this pony even goes beyond me! :pinkiecrazy:

Never thought that I could be out-crazied... but I love it! :pinkiehappy:

Oh my god, Bizarro-pony :pinkiehappy:

This is going to be amazing.

YES. JUST YES. I SHALL NEVER DRAW MANY PICTURES OF SCREWBALL...

"Skyra's mind could only think of how she wished Onbon had a tongue like that."

Winning. Anyway, very nice series.

"Skyra's mind could only think of how she wished Onbon had a tongue like that."

:pinkiehappy: Winning. Anyway, very nice series.

To any of you who think Screwball is the daughter of Discord, kudos and for guessing what fandom believes is right you get a link to Daddy Discord song with sort of animation. It's not mine but it's one of my favorite pony song.

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