Writer of The Day My Life Ended. Always working on my next story. Spotty with updates.
My name is Cocoon. I am a Changeling. I lived in peace with my mom and all the other changelings before the attack on our hive 43 years ago. During all of this, I was saved by Princess Celestia. I lived in Equestria as the alicorn Trusting Lovely.
But I knew Mother would find me. She always finds me. What I didn't know was the lengths Mother was willing to go to do it.
My mother is Queen Chrysalis and I am Princess Cocoon of the Changelings. And the invasion was all my fault...
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At least your grammar isn't terrible.
2587263 I wrote most of the prologue a month ago, when I couldn't write ANYTHING without help from an English teacher.
So, I know it sucks. You guys don't have to keep reminding me of it.
2587271
So this knowledge didn't prompt you to try again?
2587297 I prompted me to make some edits. But I don't have the computer and auto correct hates me.
I had to fix this comment eight times before posting it.
I really like this. It deserves more ponies not automatically assuming that an alicorn OC is automatically the worst thing on the planet. Some ponies just don't love and tolerate like they should.
This could use some serious work. it wouldn't have generated as much hate if it weren't for the alicorn OC and the changeling princess Mary Sue, but even without those it's pretty bad. I'd scrap it and try something different.
Pretty good fic.
You can't be lazy with spelling with words like "thru" and "gonna" unless they're things being said by characters or adverts in your story, and some of your sentences were awkward and hard to understand to meaning of. Besides that, this is quite a cute story with some good ideas. I'll keep reading.
2587326 Well, I enjoyed this and I think your perseverance is really admirable. You definitely improved after the prologue and the fact is that everyone has to start somewhere and everything you write will teach you something new about the process and your style of writing. This was a really interesting and engaging AU/worldbuilding idea, that Cadence's powers in spreading love could come from her instinctual abilities to sense and use love from being a changeling. So I don't think this OC was bad at all and it's a really good thing that you're writing, because even if people have preconcieved ideas about what makes a good story and yours doesn't fit it, the more people share their ideas and styles the richer the experience of this fandom is.
3942893 Dude, thank you.
3943189 No worries mate
I can just imagine the have you must have garnered when you revealed the "Alicorn oc". To all present: Cadence is not an OC. I liked the premise and the fic overall, it is clear you thought quite a bit about it. Most of the plot holes we found were pretty much resolved by the end, save perhaps the changeling-gave -birth-to-an-Alicorn one.
Keep going! ;)
4632511 OMG! That is the first nice thing anypony has said when they read this! You won’t believe the bullshit others said at first! That is such high praise!