As the personal protegee of Princess Twilight Sparkle, Luna's life is more than crazy enough for a unicorn of her age. Balancing her studies and putting up with her hard-partying pegasus sister is enough to keep Luna up most nights with little or no social life to speak of. But as the only one who believes the legends that Tirek the Terrible is returning and the only one who actually cares enough to stop him, it doesn't look like Luna is going to be getting any sleep anytime soon.
Which is just as well, because she keeps having the strangest dreams about a life she half-remembers; a life of long nights spent as Princess of the Moon and a terrible catastrophe that befell her kingdom. But those are just dreams...right?
With the fate of Equestria resting on her shoulders, Luna must unite a group of unlikely allies to stop Tirek, save the world, and solve the riddle of her nightmares before they come to life.
Why has no one commented here? This is really cool, never seen an AU like this. The Lore of this Equestria it's very simple but well tought. Thumb up, and Favorited for originality alone. Also, I really enjoyed the writing style,
Can't wait to see your take on the Celestia form this world.
2577255
Grats on being first!
I'm halfway done with the next chapter with Celestia. I hope to keep her characterization consistent for a world where she never had to be a princess.
i3.ytimg.com/vi/VDRrjFjJ9fI/hqdefault.jpg
I haven't read this yet, but this sounds like its going to be awesome!
Very very interesting, I'm loving this so far. Can't wait for the next chapter.
I wonder which enemies you are talking about?
Don't tell me! It would ruin the surprise.
Interesting. You've got a good start, at the very least.
Only real gripe I have is how, during Luna's dream, you switch tenses from past to present after Celestia shows up. Now I realize that the narrative is a dream, which allows for certain lapses in writing rules, and thus the shift in tenses is an attempt to show the new dynamic shift the dream takes. However the shift was rather jarring, at least for me, and I must confess that I almost quit reading.
Fortunately for me, I did keep reading.
2577709
Thanks for pointing that out; tense always manages to slip my attention when I proofread.
I went back and switched the tense so everything should agree with each other now
2577724
I don't care how tense this gets, it must continue!
... yeah I stretched a little for that pun.
2580259
I was looking for that Patrick Boo gif that gets used in response to puns but a google search turned up this instead
fc07.deviantart.net/fs44/f/2009/070/7/1/Patrick_Boo_by_rhedaddictuz.jpg
So...yeah
2580285
I'm glad I could inspire you to unleash such a terrible visual abomination.
I think I have a new goal for this fic. At least one pun of that magnitude per chapter.
So Shining Armour in this universe is an Earth Pony instead of a Unicorn? I always thought he looked very strong physically for a unicorn, so it would make sense to make him an Earth Pony. And hopefully you won't make Celestia slow-witted in this 'verse.
2581566
I don't plan to. The Shining Armor in this verse is actually Shining Armor XIV, descendant from Shining Armor I who was Twilight's brother.
also the first of his name not to be born a unicorn so there's thatCelestia is certainly not going to be slow or stupid in this fic. While she may not be the elder goddess sorceress from canon, she's still bright, cheerful, and friendly
2581589 Oh, so that's why he almost slipped in 'Aunt' before 'Twilight'. Don't know about you, but I see it a little ironic thinking of Shining Armour looking up to Twilight instead of the other way round.
And I sighed in relief when I read that she'll still be our loving Celly, just without her usual royal goddess aura. Some stories try to antagonise her for some reason.
Keep up the nice work in this story!
A thousand years ago, Tirek discovered the TARDIS and shoved his dick into the eye of harmony. This explains everything!
2583088
This guy figured it out
Everybody go home
Story's over; this is all you need to know
An alternate universe story that somehow connects to the canon universe? And a comedy tag to boot?
You have my attention.
This is the best thing I've ever stumbled upon in the feature box before. You've GOT to continue this story! It's got such a cool premise and I love your writing style...so um, write lots more of it.
is it sad that I nearly faved this story from just reading the opening quote? ahahaI must say, it is a pleasant change to see a featured story that is (relatively) well written. Bonus points for a premise which is, to the best of my knowledge, creative as well.
That said, you have several small typos, inconsistencies in punctuation, and awkward sounding phrases. If you don't have one already, I recommend finding a good editor/proofreader (and I half want to volunteer for the position...)
In terms of broader strokes, I think that you might want to watch your characterization. I would like to see you set out and give Luna a strong personality, and to make clear the extent to which she differs from episode 1 Twilight. Anyways, keep writing and I'll keep reading!
2583681
Thanks for your feedback!
I'm still figuring out Luna's personality and I think you make a good point about needing her own identity rather than just being Twilight 2.0. My problem is that the bulk of Luna's characterization in canon comes from the fact that she is 1) the Princess of the Night and 2) displaced in time by 1000 years. Since she's neither in this story I have to almost make her a new personality whole-cloth (I'm having similar problems with two other characters who are almost completely devoid of character in canon).
Thanks for your feedback and interesting the story so far!
If you do not continue this I will hunt you down and steal all of the ice cream in your freezer. ALL OF IT
In other words, this has piqued my interest and is written very well. I especially loved the Spider Luna joke
2583935
JOKES ON YOU BUDDY I DON'T HAVE ANY ICE CREAM! HAHAHAHA aw I wish I had some ice cream...
2583938
I knew you were going to say that, so I will steal all of the ice cream in a 5 mile radius of you and then eat some of it in front of you
2583938 You're right that what little personality Luna has in the show is not carried over to this setting. I would expect that acting as ruler and role-model for a nation for centuries+ would deaden your (outwards) personality to bland-benevolent-ruler like we see in the show. Of course, this lets you give Luna (and Celestia to a lesser extent) basically any personality that you want. And even if it is a bit of a stretch, its an alternate universe, so that can explain away any problems.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that you should be bold! You can give Luna any personality you want, so make a choice that leaves her interesting while informing us about her decisions.
This is an amazing start!
Faved, liked, and watching it very closely for updates. This could be very interesting!
This is really good! I can't wait for the rest to come.img.pandawhale.com/44950-Dis-gon-b-gud--this-is-gonna-b-28wH.gif
I'm liking this so far! And to be honest... that romance tag is scaring me a little
... Just who are we going to be seeing in romantic situations?
2584435
We'll see.
It's not a super duper shipping fic per say but I think there's enough of a romantic element to warrant the tag
I don't suppose the title of this story comes from the Anton Chekhov quote:
“Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass.”
Very nice.
Moustaches and best filly for you.
2584823
It does; I even quoted him in the first chapter
Looks interesting.... Have marked it so that I can read it later.
Nice description btw
just want to read it later as I have no time at the moment. You'll find me later in the faves section of your mailbox
2584876
Ah, yes, I would read it you understand, but stories leave a bad taste in my mouth.
What a horrible thing to have as an author, right?
Blue Lantern, nice ;), so can I expect the other 6 colours of the emotional spectrum to come into play?
'Luna's life is more than crazy enough for for a unicorn' -I think you accidentally repeated 'for' there.
'Report's on bestiary's and behavior of common Equestrian monstrosities, Vol. 157 No. 3were' I think there needs to be a space between No.3 and were.
Apart from that, I loved it. I also look forward to reading future chapters.
this is jis the sort of thing i like to see, Cant wait for the next chapter! And congrats on the feature box too!
Why didn't I think of this idea? I've read a lot a AUs. but as far as I know no one's ever done this.
Now go write more!
2585226
Thank you for pointing that out!
Hmmm....this looks very interesting.
Just as long as there's no TwiLuna I'm good.
2585891
You are quite welcome sir.
Came here from Spacebattles. All I can say is this: if you do not continue this, I will hunt you down in order to... Motivate you.
Reviewing to let you know that I like, will follow, and that this is an idea certainly worth seeing through to the end.
I see I'm not the only one who has done that, though.
2583938 You dont have ice cream cus i stole it all last week.
this story sounds great.... want more.
I want to know the entirety of the Banana stand incident, please
now i feel bad for using "broski" unironically
Oh wow, this chapter is amazing and I really love how you've got their personalities; Celestia's got a really cool "popular chick with brains and heart" vibe going on. And Luna really seems like what Twilight would have been like if we had been given more of her backstory in Canterlot in the pilot episodes, which I love a lot. Seriously it's just so good wow man dude and that "brony = dudebro" thing is beautiful.
2587531
This is probably going to remain a Noodle Incident. As it should.
I know, but there is no harm in asking
Pegasi in charge of the rising of celestial bodies?
Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah not sure how you're going to jump through that hoop, but on a scale of 1-10, I'd say it'd be somewhere around <1. So no biggie.
No real gripes about grammar, and I'm rather liking your characterizations of the sisters; Luna's freakin' adorable!
What I'm curious about is how you're going to connect the two plot-lines you've got going. From where I stand, both could stand on their own as a reasonably good story. But, for better or for worse, this is your story, you've hooked me, and that's all that really needs to be said
I guess.
Here's looking forward to the next chapter!