Reign of the shy-pony

by The_Swedish_Horror

A pony always pays its debts...

A shadow flew over the ground, swift and soundless. It was headed towards the Canterlot Castle. The pegasus scout carried news to the ruler of this world, princess Fluttershy. News about an army approaching her land with one single purpose; to remove her from the throne.

If this daring flyer had looked down, she would have observed that a window in the castle was open and that a pair of tied together sheets hung down from this window. Twilight, Spike and Shining Armour had escaped from their prison and were now sneaking around in the alleys, hiding from Fluttershy's troops. The streets were empty after several days of looting and riots. A lonely earth pony swept the cobblestones with a broom, cleaning away broken glass and cupcake paper. Twilight watched her from a distance. Canterlot seemed to be at peace for the moment...
"I think we can make it..." she said.
"Where are we going then? Should we try to get back to Ponyville or should we stay here and try to fix this bucked up situation?" Spike asked.
"I don't know... Celestia didn't prepare me for this. I don't know what to do..."
"Can you do magic?"
"I could try it..."
Twilight concentrated her mind and very, very slowly her horn began to emit a flickering light.

* * *

Fluttershy dropped her glass with extra strong cider that she had been sipping on. It fell to the carpet and shattered against the floor in thousands of little, sharp pieces. She didn't even notice.
"WHAT?!" she screamed in shock and disbelief.
"North, from the Crystal Empire. And at great speed. They will stand before our gates in a day or two, according to my estimation," Lightning Dust said, now corporal in Fluttershy's newest addition to her army; The Immortal Pegasus Brigade of Death and Destruction.
"Oh m-my..." Fluttershy said, wringing her hooves in distress. "D... Did you see Luna there, too?"
"No, I only saw Celestia and Cadance. And they looked very pissed."
"Oh... I'm so... No! I will not panic. I must be brave! Of course I will beat them with my magic. I'm twice as powerful as Celestia ever was, for Pony's sake! And I have my army, too... How many troops do we have, Lightning Dust?"
"Thirty seven fluttertroopers and twenty two of the immortals... That's fifty four ponies!"
"No, Lightning Dust... That's actually fifty nine. You are bad at math," Mr Greenhooves said from his place in the shadows near the throne. Everypony had forgotten all about him and now they turned their heads in his direction.
"Are you still here?" Fluttershy asked, her eyes wide open in surprise. "No, I didn't meant it like that, s-sorry... I'm just confused because I didn't see when you entered the room. I thought you had returned to Ponyville days ago."
"I never left. I figured I'd just make myself at home right here in this fancy old room. I've put my sleeping blanket in that dark corner over there and my coffeepot here... Would any of you fillies fancy a cup of coffee? I'm gonna make one to myself right now..."
The alicorn's face went red.
"How can you be so calm?! Don't you know that Celestia is on her way as we speak?! SHE WILL TEAR ME LIMB FROM LIMB!" Fluttershy screamed and pounded the gilded hoofrests on her throne in a fit of rage. "And now she has an unstoppable army while I'm STUCK IN MY OWN HORSE DUNG!!!"
Mr Greenhooves spat his tobacco juice on the carpet.
"I'll stop them easily, if that's what you want."
"What?! How could an old pony like you take out an entire army?!"
"Anypony can stop them right in their tracks. Shall I go and do it now or can it wait to after my coffee?"

* * *

Luna heard a knock on the door of her hotel room at the Ponyville Grand Hotel. It was not a friendly knock. It was a knock followed by a command.
"Open up! This is the Ponyville Home Guard!"
Slowly she rose from her bed and closed the book that she had been reading. The former princess shook her legs and stretched her neck.
"What do you want?"
"Open the door! Or we will bash it in!"
"I am not amused by your tone."
"SHUT your mouth! We're going in!"
The ponies began to kick the door to pieces. When it finally broke they saw Luna standing in her room, calmly watching them.
"You're under arrest!" the leading stallion shouted. He wore a little grey side cap and some military looking webbing equipment. Luna head-butted him with full force.
She proceded to send the dazed guardspony tumbling down the stairs with a strong kick, taking half of his group with him in the fall.
"This is MY room!" she cried.
Seven more home guards stormed trough the door and threw themselves on Luna, trying to wrestle her down. After a lot of biting and kicking they finally managed to subdue the raging ex-princess.
"Let me go! I must get the Alicorn Amulet!"
"No! That's against the law! You're a threat to society!"
"That is preposterous! I am a civilized pony! Let me go or you will be sorry!"
She then embedded her sharp teeth in the hind leg of Roseluck who gave up a high pitched scream of pain!
"OWW! My leg! My leg!!!"
"Princess Luna?!"
They all turned their heads towards the little guardspony that suddenly had appeared in the door. It was Pipsqueek and he was dressed in a grey cap carrying the Ponyville Home Guard's badge. An awkward silence fell upon the scene.
"Oh..."
"What are you doing, princess? And why are you down on the floor?"
"I am... I just... eh..."

* * *

"Please! I count on you, Rainbow. You are the only one that I can always trust... You must do this for me," Fluttershy said.
"But I don't want to leave you. Not when you are in danger... Please, let me stay here at Canterlot. I'm worried about you."
"There is no other way, I'm afraid. I hereby appoint you to military governor of Cloudsdale. Go there and mobilize the Home Defense Air Brigade and convince them to fight for me at any cost."
"Do you promise not to blow up Canterlot while I'm away?"
"Um... that is a goal that I'm currently striving to have in mind for my upcoming agenda..."
"Fluttershy!"
"Okay, fine! I'll try not to blow it up... For the moment. If you bring me an army, I won't have to blow it up."

Suddenly the door to the throne room swung open and Blossomforth stormed in. She galloped straight towards the alicorn seated on the throne.
"Princess Fluttershy! Princess Fluttershy! The prisoners have escaped!"
"What?!"
"The prisoners have escaped and they've locked Spitfire in Twilight's cell! She and Shining Armour and the dragon are loose!"
"NO! No no NO NOOO! Gosh darn it! Gosh darn it! Gosh darn it!" Fluttershy screamed and stomped her hooves against the carpet.
"Twilight's cell? Why does Twilight have a cell?" Rainbow Dash asked, her eyes narrowing.
Fluttershy started to look around in the room, scratching the back of her head with a hoof.
"Um... I... I kinda... It's a long story... eh..."
"Tell me."
"I... I can explain!"
"Well, explain it to me, then!"
"Eh... um... I kind of... k-kind of... locked her up a little. But I gave her cookies! Cookies, Rainbow! Delicious chocolate cookies! Hehe..."
"You locked Twilight in a cell?! Are you out of your mind?!"
"I was going to release her... eventually! I promise!"
"Fluttershy! Have you gone totally insane with power?!"
"I... just panicked... please, don't be angry at me, Dash! I'm... I'm so sorry..." Fluttershy sobbed before leaping from her throne. She galloped away crying, disappearing trough a secret backdoor behind the throne. This was not her finest moment as a ruler of Equestria.

* * *

Mr Greenhooves was about to light his pipe but Lightning Dust quickly pushed it away with her hoof.
"Not now, for buck's sake!"
"Oh, right. I forgot..."
The sun was setting in the west and to the south they could see Canterlot's towers on the mountainside. The blazing circle of orange light was going down and the moon was on its way. The whole sky looked like it was burning with golden fire. A nightingale sang from a branch.
Underneath a small, arched railway bridge the two ponies had planted twelve barrels of gunpowder and connected them with a fuse.
"Will this stuff really work?" Lightning Dust asked.
"Yep. It'll make a big boom, I say."
"Good... I will enjoy this very much."
"Hehe, yeah, it will be a blast... heh... I'll just ignite the thing and then we'll call it a day," Mr Greenhooves said.
"Shouldn't we wait for the train to arrive first?"
"No... That would be too dangerous. I'm sure Flushy don't want anypony to be killed. We just blow up the bridge and then they'll have to walk to Canterlot by hoof... It'll take them several days. And by then that rainbow filly will be here with all of her pegasi."
"Yes... But what if we could take out both Celestia and Cadance? Why not kill them all?"
"No, don't even joke about that! It'll be a bucking mess..."
"Oh, you're such a party-pooper."

* * *

"And that is why I need the Alicorn Amulet," Luna said after having explained everything that had happened for the confused Home Guards of Ponyville.
"So... is it really true that Twilight wet her bed?" Pipsqueak asked, his eyes sparkling with mischievous joy.
"Yes. Yes, she did. Anyway, I need the amulet to get the necessary strength to fight Fluttershy. It is the only magical item strong enough for this dangerous task."
"But what if you get corrupted and even worse than her?" Roseluck asked with a frown. She now had a band aid on her leg but one could still clearly see the bite marks from the royal teeth.
"That would not happen! I am absolutely sure that I possess the wisdom and discipline needed to withstand the forces of evil and corruption."
Roseluck didn't look very convinced.
"You're princess Luna, for Pony's sake! Practically one step from becoming Nightmare Moon... Perhaps we should take our chances with Fluttershy for a while?"
"But she has no right to the throne!"
"And Nightmare night will be really, really lame this year! Nopony is afraid of boring old Fluttershy!" Pipsqueak cried.
"That is true... Bunny rabbits and singing birds are a bit corny," a brown stallion said.
"And her fake tail extensions..."
"I hate Fluttershy. I really, really hate her," said Bon Bon.
"What?!"
"She dumped a cart full of garbage over me. And never apologized! I'm so mad at her... All the time she could have just flown around the bridge, but no, she just HAD to walk over it. She's a bucking pegasus! She can fly! Do you know what it feels like to have to walk home covered in rotten garbage and grease? Do you? She is violent, evil, cruel and genuinely abhorrent! I think that she never washes her mane. And she is also a vile, disgusting coward..."
"That's enough, Bon Bon! You don't really hate her, do you?"
"No... I just wanted the attention..."
"Anyway, I suggest we look around for this amulet and then we'll decide if Luna can have it or not," said Shoeshine.
"No, that's just a very dumb way of decision making, Shoeshine," said Roseluck.
"Tis ridiculous! I will pay you one thousand bits each if you help me," Luna said.
"Princess Luna! Bribing is a serious crime! And what if you turn into Nightmare Moon? Eternal night and stuff?"
"Two thousand bits?"
"This is still highly illegal," the commanding stallion protested.
"Three thousand?"
"Five thousand, and we may have an agreement..."
"I swear on my cutie mark to pay you four thousand of my money. A pony always pays its debts."

Comments

[Divine Path]

This the moment where we must question Fluttershy's ability to prevail.
Power is nothing without the knowledge to use it.
It would seem that Twilight will stand victorious, but will that be so?
Awaiting further releases.

[HJSDGCE]

Bon Bon is so lonely.

[Seether00]

I am with the Home Guard. Giving Luna the amulet just sounds like a bad plan.

[HeartsWarmth]

One of the best comedy pony stories I have read so far.
Errors perhaps?

"Okay, fine! I'll try not to blow it up... For the moment. If you bring me an army, I won't have to *bow* it up."

"No... That would be too dangerous. I'm sure Flushy don't want anypony to be killed. We just blow *op* the bridge and then they'll have to walk to Canterlot by hoof... It'll take them several days. And by then that rainbow filly will be here with all of her pegasi."

[The_Swedish_Horror]

2685021

Thanks

I really appreciate the help with my spelling. I will fix it right away!

[Eclipsed]

Do you want a proofreader? I think I have an open agenda for a while.

[JumpingShinyFrogs]

"Is it true Twilight wet her bet?"

Just pointing it out. This is very funny, but I think you need a proofreader to truly make it shine