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Demonfire463

Joined April 2013
11 followers

Stories (4)

  • Hollow
    Three undead explore into a new realm and cannot escape some of their nightmares from Lordran, but will try to protect the ponies they come to care for. They fend from chaos, demons, and some other undead to protect the friends they have made.

    35,319 words · 783 views · 41 likes · 1 dislikes
  • Remembrance
    A Spartan finds himself in Equestria. He has no memory of before his escape, makes some new friends, and must defend himself from Covenant soldiers and other dangers as well.
    17,720 words · 375 views · 25 likes · 7 dislikes
  • The Chosen Undead
    A thief learns that he is the chosen one, and feels he can overcome any obstacle in his path and complete his journey alone. But when six girls show up in Lordran, he has a choice: to take them with him on his journey or let then die.
    7,000 words · 186 views · 14 likes · 3 dislikes
  • Searching
    Sir Austin of Astora is looking for his brothers in the accursed land of the Undead. In his search, he stumbles upon a girl named Pinkie Pie who is also looking for people. They decide to help each other in their travels and their search.
    2,496 words · 149 views · 10 likes · 3 dislikes

Zander is a thief who gets killed in his homeland and wakes up from death in a place called Lordran. Soon, in his adventures in Lordran, he meets six beings who unlike any creature he has seen. They seem friendly enough but his suspicions lead him to believe otherwise. Will he accept them on his journey? Or will he let them die in this accursed land?

Another Dark Souls Crossover

First Published
10th May 2013
Last Modified
15th May 2013

Comments ( 17 )

#1 · Chapter 1 · 48w, 6d ago · · ·

Interesting, I personally don't like Dark Souls but you have my attention. :trixieshiftright:

#3 · Chapter 1 · 48w, 6d ago · · ·
#4 · Chapter 1 · 48w, 6d ago · 2 · ·

>>2557926 Dark Souls is one of the most incredible games I've ever played.

#5 · Chapter 1 · 48w, 6d ago · · 1 ·

>>2557937 I've never played it because I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm good at long range, but I can't tell which class is long rage focused..... So Halp!

#6 · Chapter 1 · 48w, 6d ago · 1 · ·

>>2557946 ??? How can you be good at long range if you've never played it?

#7 · Chapter 1 · 48w, 6d ago · · ·

"his suspicions lea him"

Typo in the description? Oh dear...

#8 · Chapter 1 · 48w, 6d ago · · ·

>>2559001 fixed it! Thanks for that btw

#9 · Chapter 1 · 48w, 6d ago · · ·

>>2559677

lol no problem dude. Watch out for that in the future, typos that early can turn away a lot of readers. :pinkiesmile:

#10 · Chapter 1 · 48w, 5d ago · · 1 ·

>>2557962 This is from experience from other games that's in the same genre as Dark Souls. :facehoof:

#11 · Chapter 1 · 48w, 5d ago · 1 · ·

>>2560806 A lot of other rpg games aren't like Dark Souls. When I first played it my brother even told me "Don't Skyrim it." You can't just run into a battle. And btw the long range focused classes are Ranger and Sorcerer.

#12 · Chapter 1 · 48w, 5d ago · · ·

>>2561011 2 things: 1). figured that out on the first section and 2). thanks.

#13 · Chapter 2 · 48w, 3d ago · · ·

Good so far, the only thing that really bothered me this chapter though is the lack of paragraph's besides when dialogue is involved. It makes it hard to read, I would suggest going back through the story and separating some of it so that it easier to follow along. Good luck on future chapters :twilightsmile:

#14 · Chapter 3 · 48w, 1d ago · · ·

I have seen a play through of the game dark souls, but I did not retain much of the lore. Pardon if I sound a bit imposing, but I saw that you are having trouble with plot, and i would like to help you with my talent for coming up with ideas. If you want more of my help, particularly for editing and more story ideas and advice, you can reply or send a private message. The following are some suggestions I thought up fast, so pardon if they are not what you are looking for.

You could use pinkie sense to find traps. You could use Rarity to find valuables. You could use Fluttershy to stun dragons. These are a few suggestions to make it easier injecting the characters into the action.

I suggest thinking about how you want the plot to evolve from find the six damsels to giving them a purpose for being there. Perhaps they need to find the elements of harmony, and in order to do that they need to prove themselves to various covenants.

#15 · Chapter 3 · 48w, 1d ago · · ·

To anyone who is really reading this story and is getting into it, if I actually do upload any more chapters it will not be for quite a while. Just informing all who are reading this and are waiting for a new chapter, sorry but you're gonna be on quite the wait. In the mean time, you can check out my other story if you wish, hope you enjoy it if you do, but yeah I'm sorry for the delay or cancellation of this story.

#16 · Chapter 2 · 48w, 1d ago · · ·

I have a little edit for you; you have, "I crushes through a wall at the foot of the staircase." I think you meant "It crashes through a wall at the foot of the staircase."

#17 · Chapter 3 · 46w, 4d ago · · ·

*sigh* Goodbye Chosen Undead, you had such potential. But in order to channel said potential, ideas must form and motivation must be present, both of which were absent for far too long for a decent story to be written. While this cancellation does not quite bring a tear to my eye, it is the first story that I have cancelled. Maybe one day I will confinue this story, or even rewrite it as a whole, but it seems unlikely as of now. To all the readers: I apologize for ending this tale before its final chapter but it had to be done. The Chosen Undead is hereby cancelled. Sorry guys. :fluttershysad:

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