Let ideas and all speech be free. I will respect your ideas, your characters, your ponies. Feel free to ask me anything!
Pinkie Pie has a brother?! Oh yeah, she never told you? Well, there might be a reason for that but it's quickly forgotten when the pink stallion comes to visit. He's a lot like his sister it seems... maybe too alike for some ponies to deal with.
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AJ breaking the fourth wall is so OOC, I don't know where to start. Interesting idea, though, with Surprise being Pinkie's brother. I suppose this deserves a watch for now. Could use to be a bit longer but hey, I can work with short chapters.
I will favorite for now to see how this goes
Wow, Breach of Fourth Wall AND Notable Non-Sequitur?
You're hitting the ground running with this one. (I actually like the Breaches. It makes for some interesting character interaction.) Going to watch this one; I wanna see where it leads. 
I usually leave observations and qualms I have with stories when I read them. I hope you don't mind too much
.
Oh. Ooooh I like that, well written sir.
Ok, I will be honest here, characters having awareness of the real world can be cool when dealing with comedy but this story seems like it is working more towards world building in which case these assaults on the 4'th wall kinda take away from the immersion. Unless this story does a 180 next chapter and turns into a comedy, I think it would have been better to have the characters stay in... character
.
Should probably be bear.
Seems like you are off to a good start here though, the grammar, sentence structure, dialogue and narration are all well done and the story seems to flow pretty smoothly(which I guess makes sense given your story count). The only thing I could ask for is for the chapter to be longer but that is just personal preference.
Two breaches in the 4th wall (by AJ no less), a deep, complex relationship between Pinkie and her brother, AND a set-up for far greater complexity than anticipated
? In just the first chapter
!?! Damn, you're really hitting the ground running with this one. (I always like the Breaches, they make for some interesting character interaction.)
img.pandawhale.com/42268-You-had-my-curiosity-but-now-y-MK6z.gif
Let's Get This Shit Done!!!
The 4th wall stuff was a bit much right out the gate, and I don't think I care enough about the story because of it. I mean if you feel that Pinkie being overwhelmingly sad makes it so you have to throw funny in there, it does the opposite. I mean the funny isn't genuine, it's forced. People like the story, but just an idea for improvement.
3122777 The 4th wall stuff wasn't meant to really be funny in this case; it was more designed to be random and out of place. It's to give the impression that something's wrong, establishing that when something's out of place with one of the mane six, it affects all of them.
I thank you for your honesty though.
3123381
Why thank you...
(and not something from Cupcakes. 
)
Also still going to read it, because it's Pinkie. I mean what else is there to do when it's Pinkie