A young Thestral has had a very depressing past. He never had parents or any friends, he continued to search and search for ponies to become friends with, but he always failed. When he had lost all hope, he went to the only place left, Ponyville. Join Shadow Storm on his daily life in Ponyville as he tries to make new friends, only to find it harder than he thought.
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2511886
2511894
Fateful
Just one in a cavalcade of mistakes. I suggest taking this story down and trying again after you've figured out a few rules of grammar. There are places on IRC to help you with this, or you can go to mlpchan.net, to the /fic/ section, and post up on the Training Grounds.
Really, though, you need to learn the basics.
1. What's a thestral?
2. There are no words to describe how out-of-character Twilight is in offering to adopt SHADOW STORM.
3. Shadow Storm is a retarded name.
2511918
2512009 <3
2512140 <3 u 2
2512009
1. A Thestral is a horse with reptaillian eyes and bat wings.
2. Twilight is not out of character. It will be explained later that she adopted him for scientific purposes.
3. No it's not.
2516309
1. So a Lunar Guard basically. It'd be nice if you specified that in the story. I.E., "he resembled one of Luna's guards" or summat like that.
2. Flimsy and not set up well. At least hint at it.
3. Yeah, it is. Shadows can't have storms. Not to mention "Shadow" is the most cliched "dark" name out there.
2516729
I see your point. I guess I should go back and revise a bit... I actually chose the name out of a name generator. I guess I could change that too. Thanks for the advice.
I LOVE IT BABBBBBBBYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I CAN'T WAIT TO READ IT
2521756 She did not mean to put a Pinkamena face. She did not know the origins.
Is Pinkamena related to PinkiePie?
Noctourne Of Shadows?
2536213 Yes. She is her, but the psycho crazy version that kills ponies for fun.
Ummmmmmm......... I am NO Way NEAR That......
2536242 I know that for sure.
that was quick