Looked like a good time to begin a new thread!

Reading: The fall of Mareitania: Operation FreeMare

Story:  Johnny Bravo in Equestria - RGRE, by CaptainAnonymous.

Rating: 10/10.

Status: High Quality accepted

This story is the ideal version of the harem fic. It subverts the tropes while playing them mostly straight at the same time. What do I mean? It all comes back to the main character, Johnny Bravo.

Johnny has all the personality traits you could hope for in a protagonist for this kind of story. He's super attractive, skilled at everything, all around nice, 100% confident in himself and his hotness, and totally oblivious to every mare trying to jump his bones because he's only interested in humans. However, he's also flawed because he's not a self-insert OC. Namely, he's vain, stupid, and an extremely annoying jerk to the women he hits on. Most stories of this nature have to use an original character, and those characters don't have flaws, when they have a personality at all. No doubt you've read a story where replacing Anon or whoever with Johnny would make it considerably better.

What I described above makes it a good story. What elevates it to greatness is the deconstruction of Johnny. Most people who are familiar with him think of him as a good looking boor, and nothing more. Of course he can't get a date acting like that. This story takes that assumption and turns it on his head because Johnny's negative traits are acceptable/diminished in Equestria, thanks to the mares being the dominant sex and many of the roles in their society being reversed as a result. His constant hitting on women isn't a factor thanks to not seeing ponies as potential partners, which removes one of least desirable traits from his character, his vanity is downright expected, as most stallions already act like that, and his stupidity and obliviousness just make him hard to get and encourage the ponies even further.

With all those gone, his truly positive traits come forward. Every scene spent with a member of the Elements of Harmony brings a unique aspect of his character into focus, one that isn't usually what people think about when this character jumps into their heads. His dozens of skills with Twilight, strength and work ethic with Applejack, athleticism with Rainbow Dash, chivalry with Rarity (yes, really, and it's not out of character), kindness with Fluttershy, appetite with Pinkie Pie, and off screen time spent with the Princesses all tear down your preconceived image of who and what he is and rebuild it brick by brick. You can feel the care that went into every aspect of the characterization, and as this story runs on its character interactions this makes it really strong. The fact that the story ends with the ponies just flat out telling Johnny they're into him instead of escalating their shenanigans just makes for a nice little twist on top.

This story took the cliche, stupid, overdone harem fic concept, and not only made it work, but created quite possibly the best one ever, all through the introduction and analysis of an obscure cartoon character from the 90s. All other harems should aspire to this one, and if that means more Johnny crossovers, I can get behind that. This makes the third story I have given a perfect 10/10. The author earned it, and if you haven't read this story yet, you're missing out.

Oh, and this story isn't a clop fic, it just mentions mare parts and puddles on the floor.

Reviewing: The fall of Mareitania: Operation FreeMare

Read: Three chapters

Status: Approved

Mareitania, the old kingdom. A kingdom of secrets and oppression, where earth ponies rose to power in the absence of the unicorns and the pegasi following the events of hearthswarming. A kindom where having a horn is a travesty and having wings is a sentence to life long slavery.

Unfortunately for Twilight she has both. When she and three companions are tasked with tearing down the tyrannical government of Mareitania, with nothing more than their own ingenuity and some words of encouragement, she finds that plans are super awesome for getting things done.

This is an interesting journey! The story begins with a huge dose of world building, with an expansion of the tale we first saw in Hearth's Warming Eve. In a short recap, the first land in which the three tribes lived was overcome by ice and snow, so three leaders ( Chancellor Puddinghead, Princess Platinum, and Commander Hurricane ) travel with their assistants (Smart Cookie, Clover the Clever and Private Pansy ) to a new land untouched by the blizzards. They eventually work together to form the new land of Equestria...but here is where this tale takes a detour.

Not all the ponies traveled to the new land, preferring to stay where they were once the storms ceased. Exactly how that happened when the remaining tribes were still in conflict isn't explained, but let's go from there. The old land is now dominated by Earth ponies, who still deeply distrust and resent the pegasi and the unicorns. Now that the unicorns no longer have control over the Sun and Moon, they have to fend for themselves as best they can, so they are now little better than second-class citizens. Once the Earth ponies had enough control over the unicorns, they forced them to use their magic to bring down the previously unreachable pegasi, then clipped their wings so that they could no longer fly great distances. (I'm no ornithologist, but I'm pretty sure clipping a bird's wings would prevent them from flying at all, so that's a second plot hole.) Thus the Duchy of Mareitania was born. It is into this land Twilight is sent with the arduous task of bringing down the government.

Chapter Two is all about world-building and character development. Here we meet Twilight's comrades-in-arms: Fleur de Lis, Octavia Melody Philharmonica, and last but certainly not least, Trixie Lulamoon. Once meeting them with Celestia and Luna, Twilight asks the same question we as readers are asking: why them, and not the rest of the Mane Six? To which Celestia replies-

"Tell me Twilight, what would you do with an apple farmer, a freelance vetinarian, a party planner, a seamstress, a weather pony and a baby dragon; that you wouldn't do with these three in this situation?"

...which I found to be a bit presumptuous on the author's part. As fans of the show, we all know that's her friends' main jobs, but they all are much greater than the sum of their parts. Even so, later on in the chapter, while traveling to their destination, we are treated to character exposition as Twilight has each explain why they are there, and the answers are satisfactory, for now. Fleur and Octavia's deliveries are both a bit flat, but that may be just because they're not as flamboyant as TGAPT.

This chapter does have some of the dreaded misuse of said tags, and it does so inconsistently, so some minor editing is in order. Other than that, the tale is off to a rousing start as our four heroines head into Mareitania.

From the last chapter's interactions between the mares, I wondered why this wasn't labeled a Comedy, especially concerning Trixie. Chapter Three put 'paid' to that notion, for it is...horrible. Here we see the actual conditions of the country and are exposed to the cruelty being inflicted on the unicorns and especially the pegasi.

Our heroines make it out of the crate (no mean trick) and we get some interactions between the first earth pony they meet and them. For a moment, I wondered why this tale had the Mature tag, but the crisis was averted. Still, it has earned that tag as the situation's condition was implied, and more than once later in the chapter. I felt real anger as I read on, and I must say the author has given himself/herself quite the task in making Twilight's mission believable, for I cannot see how tearing down this despicable country can be accomplished without some sort of literary deau ex machina.

This story has definitely piqued my interest, so I highly recommend finishing it to discover how it plays out.

Reviewing: The Night Mare's Nightmare Night Nightmare

Read: Three chapters

Status: Approved

Within a few short sentences, I knew this was going to be a quality story. Here's the description:

Nightmare Night must go, an organization of concerned ponies has decided. No more candy, no more cavities, no more frightened foals. It's for the best, and they're certain everypony will agree.

They just forgot to mention it to Princess Luna.

It first starts out with a bit of world-building:

In all the years of her life, Princess Luna had never dreamed a dream of her own. Sleep had been silent. Blank. Her eyes shut and then opened hours later. Only as she grew into her alicorn powers did she learn of dreams.

So, according to this version, Luna grew into her powers of dream-walking, and I found this author's take a refreshing and surprising one, for I never considered this to be a talent in which she'd have to progress. But it makes sense.

The author weaves the thoughts and emotions of the characters with just about every sentence, which takes no small amount of skill.

Come the turning of the leaves, Luna made a habit of slipping away in the deepest hours of the night. Her shadow slipped across Equestria in search of unsuspecting ponies. A couple on a moonlit stroll. A gang of curfew-breaking foals. It didn’t matter, so long as it wouldn’t lead to harm. In the season of Nightmare Night, everypony enjoyed a good scare. Or, at least, deserved one.

Nightmare Night had grown from a nation-wide respect for life’s delicacy, highlighted by what could have been a much darker reality. Luna had taken up the mantle—though in levity—as testament to her repentance, preserved the spirit of her past demons in hopes her transgressions would never be forgotten.

That, and scaring the withers off ponies was just plain fun.

But it's not all fun and games. As mentioned in the description, all is not well, which Luna discovers when she intercepts a group of foals who are out past their bedtime. Here, she discovers the reason for their misbehavior: this was going to be the very last Nightmare Night if a group of concerned parents had anything to do with it. Naturally, Luna opposes this.

While I found this chapter to be highly entertaining, I was somewhat confused about the nature of Luna's interaction with the foals: were they dreaming, or awake? That confusion was cleared up by continuing to read, but it's worth noting. On to Chapter Two.

This Chapter was rather annoying, for several reasons. While the style of writing did not change, nor did the characterizations, I found the content off-putting.

Luna meets with Celestia to find out the truth of the rumor she'd heard, only for her Sister to confirm that, yes, she had. Luna is, of course, outraged that Celestia didn't tell her, and here is where the story started to lose me.

Celestia has a very lackadaisical attitude about the entire affair, and I felt she wasn't taking her sister's feelings in the matter to heart. This attitude was further compounded by the arrival of a visitor, a mare that had been unforgivably rude to Princess Luna earlier:

Muffled shouts came from the hallway, followed by a heavy toll of metal. Both princesses turned in time to see the door burst open. The plump green mare from the great hall atrium strode in, cane in hoof, box swaying on her back. Somehow, she had turned her scowl into the largest smile Luna had seen since meeting Twilight Sparkle’s pink friend. The door guard instead wore her scowl as he stormed in after her, rubbing his forehead.

“Princess Celestia!” the mare belted in the worst indoor voice Luna had ever heard.

“Pea Body,” Celestia replied cheerfully, extending a hoof in distant welcome. “You’re looking well.” To the guard, waving, “It’s fine, Stone Wall.” Stone Wall looked between Celestia and the mare. He saluted and turned for the door, grumbling under his breath.

“Oh, you’re too kind, Princess.” Pea Body strode up beside Luna without so much as a glance.

“I assume things are going well for the P-B-WAY-F-C?” Celestia offered the mare a cup of tea.

That really bugs me. While I understand this is a Comedy, I cannot overlook this pony just brushed past a Princess of Equestria "without so much as a glance." Even worse, Celestia says nothing about the slight, and offers the mare a cup of tea! I found this to be seriously OOC for Celestia. Hell, any siblings that love each other wouldn't put up with their little sister being treated like that, so the tale lost points there.

Finally, the mare offers Celestia a cake, which she accepts (of course) then after reassuring herself that Celestia will be voting on the Nightmare Night matter, she leaves, again without ever speaking to Luna nor even acknowledging her presence! Bad form, author! Celestia then proceeds to (literally) stuff her face with the cake, foregoing a knife and fork after a few bites. Again, I know, Comedy, but I was so annoyed at the way she didn't speak up for her Sister the humor was lost on me.

To be fair, I did find amusing the conversation Luna and Celestia had concerning official holidays, and it was again a bit of world-building to find out Nightmare Night wasn't included in the list:

“Nightmare Night is not a holiday?” Luna stared at her as if she had six heads. “If it is not, then pray tell what is.”

“Oh, you know,” Celestia said. She started counting on her hoof. “There’s Hearth’s Warming, Labor Day, Winter Wrap-Up, The Canterlot Confection Carnival, National Random Holiday Party Day, The Summer Sun Celebration, The Winter Sun Celebration, The Sunny Sun Celebration, National Sleep-In Day—my favorite—The Harvest Sun, Arbor Day, Dawn Wednesday, Holly Day, All Sun’s Day, All Sol’s Day, Nothing of Particular Importance Day, and Ugly Sweater Day. Oh”—she brightened at the thought—“and don’t forget, that’s tomorrow.”

"Ugly Sweater Day." (smile) I can see that being a holiday. Anyway, apparently, Nightmare Night is simply a tradition, and not an official holiday, much like Halloween is for we Humans. Which again makes sense. So every city will observe Nightmare Night, or none of them will, according to this petition. Luna has her hooves full.

Chapter Three is the culmination of the battle between the P-B-WAY-F-C ( Ponies for the Benefit and Well-being of All Young Fillies and Colts ), Peabody's group and therefore the one leading the charge against Nightmare Night, and the SPCCPANA ( Society of Ponies Concerned for the Concision and Precision of All Names and Acronyms ) led by a pony named Rhetorical Rhetoric. Just reading all these names almost gave me a headache, but it's all in good fun.

Much to Luna's chagrin, the SPCCPANA opposes the other group not for their cause, but only for their name! Luna had joined them, thinking they would be fighting for Nightmare Night, only to find out all they wanted was for Peabody's group to change their name. To which Peabody readily agreed, leaving Luna rather stuck. But no fear, as she was then informed by the pony in charge of the petition office she could begin her own, only needing ten signatures to start the process. Grinning, Luna then heads to Ponyville.

I feel I haven't done the humor in this chapter justice, but as I didn't want to simply quote the entire chapter I was forced to summarize. For the sake of this review, I'll stop here, but I highly recommend this tale not only for its Nightmare Night content but for the characterizations and world-building that highlight this story.

Reviewing: No One Goes There

Read: All

Status: Approved

When Steven Spielberg made Jaws, undoubtedly the most terrifying aspect of the movie was you couldn't see the shark. That's how the best horror stories are written: leaving the nightmare to the reader's imagination, giving them just enough of a push to experience the terror on a personal level. That's the way things play out in this masterpiece.

It hits all the right notes. Four innocent boys do a task based on a dare by going on a path everyone else naturally avoids. The four are known and well-liked by the reader. The mood is set with the first lines of the story, nothing over the top, just the sounds and sights of a forest at night. And that is enough. Be prepared for an honest-to-God chill to go up your spine as you read this.

You've been warned.

Reading: Twilight Sparkle of the Royal Guard

Reviewing: Twilight Sparkle of the Royal Guard

Read: Chapters 0 through 1

Status: Accepted

Now, here is a story that truly turns canon on its head, and may not be acceptable for all readers. I did find it hard to keep my attention on it, for I was not very comfortable with the complete reversal of roles. Still, it is a fascinating read, hence my acceptance. Here we go!

A flip of a coin. A twist of fate.

Twilight Sparkle, younger sister of Princess Celestia's personal student, Shining Armor, grew up listening to her brother's bygone dreams of joining the elite of the elite: The Royal Guard.

Now, fresh out of the Academy, this young mare is ready to prove herself equal to the deeds of the great soldiers she read about as a filly. Too bad the princess she ends up protecting isn't Celestia.

Chapter 0 deals with Shining Armor's parents' decision to either send him to Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns or his own choice. They decide this with the extremely irresponsible method of flipping a coin, a parenting technique the Author tried to justify in the dialogue between Night Light and Twilight Velvet, but it doesn't wash. Being a parent myself, I would never decide my children's futures so, and neither would any other responsible parent.

I said all that to say this part of the tale is extremely polarizing, and therefore engaging. I like the writing style so far, as it is clean with no discernable grammatic errors. One can sense the love all the characters have for one another early on, and all the voices sound true to their canon counterparts. As it is tagged Alternate Universe it remains to be seen how this tale differs from canon, other than a brief interchange between filly Twilight and Spike, she complains that he is "only a year older" than herself. That could be a red flag, or it could be a sign of great things to come. Let's see.

Chapter 0 ended with a section I didn't pay much attention to, but now I see its importance. Twilight goes to see her brother while he was studying and finds out he'd really rather have attended the Royal Guard Academy. he then shows Twilight a book on the subject, and she is fascinated by it. Which brings us to Chapter 1.

This Chapter is one that has a fair bit of world-building and is also where the AU tag is earned. Apparently, Shining is now Celestia's student, and Twilight is now a member of the Royal Guard, hence the title. The Author makes use of Roman titles for military rank, titles which one can infer from context, though a few notes at the end wouldn't have been a bad idea.

The writing style noted earlier continues in this Chapter, and the reader is treated to detailed views of this new Twilight. She isn't that different from her canon self: she's still studious, determined and focused. Her OCD isn't on display here, so that's missing, and the first opportunity she has to be invited into a group outside of duty, she takes it. Which ends in a bar fight, a situation that got a brief chuckle out of me.

While this new version of Twilight isn't quite yet a comfortable fit, I find her fascinating nonetheless. She's not Princess Celestia's personal student (that honor is being held by her brother Shining Armor), but she has gotten Celestia's attention by her own merit. There's also the fact that Luna is still out of the picture, and a bit of foreshadowing that echoes her canon reappearance, so we have that to look forward to.

The chapter ends with Twilight being given an honorary promotion and being assigned to Princess Cadence as her personal Guard.

As I said, it's not quite a good fit, having Twilight take the place of her brother Shining, and he take her's, but there's lots of intrigues promised, so that is something with which to look forward.

Reading: The Demesne of the Reluctant Twilight Sparkle

Reviewing: The Demesne of the Reluctant Twilight Sparkle

Read: Four chapters

Status: Approved

If you ever want to vastly improve your vocabulary whilst having fun doing it, this tale is for you! Let's begin:

When Luna gifts Twilight the town of Ponyville and its surrounding countryside as her demesne she's initially confused. Then, after double checking her dictionary, more than a little concerned.

All her friends are, legally, her possessions. The town that took her in is her plaything, if she so wishes. She has been givenresponsibility.

Can Twilight's vision for a modern renaissance outrun the harsh realities of the shadowy figures pulling strings behind the scenes, nobles jockeying for her attention, and an irritatingly metaphorical love triangle?

So much is going on in so few words. Here we have Twilight at her most adorkable, being given the town of Ponyville and its domains as her personal property. Concerning her friends, they each have a different way of looking into the fact they are all now serfs of Twilight. Applejack is stoked because now she only has to pay tribute to Twilight, and all the rest of her sales are now tax-free; Rainbow becomes her spokespony, and so will handle all ( most) of Twilight's public relations, and so on. The only one not jazzed about the new arrangements (besides Twilight herself) is the former Mayor, whose office has now become moot.

This is mostly a first-person tale told from the perspective of Twilight, so we're treated to all her inner monologues and her OCD is on full display. The humor made me smile rather than laugh, but there's plenty of it. I had to stop reading in order to post this very overdue review, but this has been a fun ride. Oh, and did I mention there's already evidence of Romance in bloom, but at this point, it's not clear whom Twilight will lavish those attentions on, Celestia or her new assistant?

Again, have your dictionary ready for this one, or just do as I did and flow through the story, picking up unfamiliar terms in context.

Reading: My Little Balladeer

Reviewing: My Little Balladeer

Read: Four chapters

Status: Approved

Meet Silver John, a character from stories by Manly Wade Wellman. He's a hillbilly, a lone hero, and a singer who uses a silver-stringed guitar, hailing from the Appalachian Mountains of North Carolina. I said all that to say this: it's not needed to know his background for this tale, for this is a Crossover done right. Throughout the story, the reader is given just enough information about the character to paint a vivid picture of him. He's a bit mysterious, showing a working knowledge of eldritch magics that fit quite well into the land in which he's found himself, using his guitar to cast spells of protection when he's confronted by the unknown. HIs way of speaking is colorful as well, " air different from the characters around him, a-shiftin' and air a-changin' with his mood, and no mistake." Having never read about the character before, I'm guessing this is the way John presents himself in his original form, to which I'd say this current writer has probably emulated well.

The writer has also taken some liberties with the canon characters, though the ones thus encountered all sound like themselves. For example, he's given Earth ponies ( and I assume all ponies ) in this story the ability to grip things with their hooves, a neat trick that's not explored in the show, for the most part. As an example, Applejack's "hoofshake" is so strong John has to flex his fingers to get the feeling back into them. Also, the writer describes Applejack as having blue eyes, when in reality ( heh ) her eyes are brilliant green.

While the flow of the story is well thought out, there's a problem with said tags. It's hard to tell if the error is deliberate, as their use is inconsistent: sometimes they're used correctly, sometimes not. Again, I don't know if that's part of the original narrative, but it's somewhat distracting.

One thing I especially love about this tale is it is an HiE where the Human character starts out being unable to understand pony speech, a personal preference of mine. It only makes sense that two vastly different species simply would not speak the same language, a trait not found in the majority of HiEs, which I find to be a result of lazy writing. But that's me.

Errors notwithstanding, this is an excellent example of storytelling that has earned its place in the Bin.

Reading: Silver's Decision - The story of a bystander

Reviewing: Silver's Decision - The story of a bystander

Read: Five chapters

Status: Rejected

I'd pretty much made up my mind about this one after the second chapter, but I kept on reading to (a) give the story a chance and (b) hope that it would get better.

It didn't.

What we have here is an alternate universe where Diamond Tiara is not only still a bully, she's a total "rhymes with witch." In canon, she is very mean to the CMC, and bossy around other ponies, but she's not the psychopath we see on display here. All the characters do not act like themselves at all, being one-dimensional and boring. I kept reading in the hopes that the characters would show some depth, but all I got for my trouble was more and more feelings of anger. Now, evoking the emotions is something every writer should strive to accomplish, but it doesn't help when those emotions are all negative.

Here's an example of what I mean:

Sweetie Belle yelped as Diamond's hoof collided with her face, toppling back from the blow. She gazed back up at Diamond's hateful expression, tears now freely streaming down her face.

But Diamond wasn't done.

Standing over Sweetie Belle's dirty and beaten body, Diamond kicked her as hard as she could, right in the side. Sweetie gasped as the wind was knocked out of her, and tried desperately to crawl away. But Diamond was too fast for her, trotting ahead and stopping in front of her. Shouting insults left and right, Diamond continued to slap, kick, or otherwise beat the tar out of the helpless Sweetie Belle. When Diamond Tiara had finally seemed to have gotten her fill of torment, she squatted down to Sweetie Belle's level and smiled evilly before spitting on her muzzle with relish.

Wow. You know, the Alternate Universe tag is not a license to completely change an established character's personality. At best, there should be a tweak or a nudge in one direction or another, but the above was Diamond Tiara in name only. Soon after this, Diamond begins berating Silver for not actually joining in the crime she was committing and begins to treat her like garbage. And what does Silver do? Blame herself for disappointing her best friend and tries to ingratiate herself to her. Pathetic.

Another problem with this tale is overuse of punctuation and also the use of dashes to simulate stuttering:

Diamond's face turned red with anger. "So what?? The stupid loser had it coming to her anyway, you know. What, so you're taking her side now or something???"

Silver went pale. "N-n-no! O-of course not, Di! I j-j-just thought t-that m-m-maybe we w-were, y-ya know, j-just a little t-t-too heavy on the b-b-beatings, t-t-that's all!" Sweat trickled down Silver's brow.Please, please don't let Tiara be mad at me...she thought.

Three question marks are overkill, and that much stuttering is annoying to read.

The title of this tale kept me hoping that Silver Spoon ( who is not rich in this story, btw ) would rise up and make a difference in both her's and this character masquerading as Diamond Tiara's life, but five chapters is too long to wait for some sort of payoff. Pass.

Reading: Harmony Theory

One of the perks of being a reviewer for this Group is the opportunity to come across gems like this one, something I probably wouldn't have done otherwise.

Reviewing: Harmony Theory

Read: Prologue plus five HUGE chapters

Status: Approved

It takes a fair amount of commitment to write a story with such large chapters ( average 7,000 words each ) and to the readers, those numbers may seem daunting. Until one begins and is immediately caught up in the story. Here's the description:

After the Changeling invasion, Celestia and Luna make the decision to have Twilight investigate the Elements of Harmony and solve the mystery of their power.

A thousand years later, Rainbow Dash awakens in a world she does not recognize. She has no idea how or why she came to be there. She does not know the language, the geography or any of the rules of this new time. She soon finds allies in Star Fall, a scholarly pegasus whose Talent is Magic, and Astrid, Star Fall's Griffin guardian. Together they set out to discover why Dash has been sent to the future, and how she might return to when she belongs.

War threatens the nations, a Nightmare stalks the shadows, and Rainbow Dash's arrival has turned her into a wild card in a deadly game that pits the law on both sides of a broken Equestria against a mysterious criminal figure, Max Cash. Yet the stakes are higher than anyone knows, for in her research Twilight Sparkle discovered a dark secret about the Elements, something that will shake the foundations of the world.

A trifle long, I must say. I prefer descriptions to be short and sweet, with just enough of a tease to hook the reader, but this works all the same.

Even though I'd read the description, I was not prepared for the turn this story took, going from the prologue with Celestia and Luna discussing the events of the Changeling invasion, and why exactly Celestia "lost" to Chrysalis. This is the setup for all that follows, as Luna demands answers from her Sister. Luna gets far more than she asked for, as Celestia patiently explains why she allowed the Changelings to overpower her. What follows is but one example of the world-building that is the hallmark of this story.

And that's not even the best part!

The chapter ends with Twilight being given an assignment from Celestia, a task our little OCD bookhorse gladly accepts: to study the very nature of the Elements of Harmony. It was at this point I'd actually forgotten the description and expected the tale to be about Twilight and her research. I can be forgiven for thinking that, as each chapter begins with Twilight's notes on the subject. But that's where the adventure begins, for then the story takes what was for me an unexpected turn: the reader is taken to an alternate Equestria, one thousand years in the future. Into the middle of this land, we find Rainbow Dash. She finds herself in a tunnel, in darkness, with a dead pony beside her. What follows is a rousing adventure that again, was unexpected, but will literally have you on the edge of your seat. And this tale is just getting warmed up.

At this point, I must mention how well thought out each character appears. Dash is the only established character after the second chapter, and she sounds like herself: brash, confident and a bit of a braggart. Each OC is well-rounded and fully dimensional as well, and one quickly finds favorites. Each is introduced with much detail, right down to the pattern of colors in their manes and coats, which I personally found to be a bit overwhelming. There was no way I was going to be able to remember all those patterns, and at that point, I didn't care enough about the characters to do so. That changed as I continued reading. Also, the cutie marks are not called such in this tale, they're Talent Glyphs, and as far as I can tell each has its own class of two, Abstract or Direct:

Abstract Talent Glyphs were always a problem for law-enforcement. You could never really tell what an Abstract meant. A feather on a pegasus might mean they were a Flight Talent, or a Cloudwalker or an Acrobat, or a Dancer, or anything that might in any way be represented by a feather. Direct Glyphs, like Hard Boiled's own, told you exactly what that pony's Talent was, no guesswork required.

Hard Boiled is the name of the Unicorn detective that is investigating the aftermath of Dash's encounter with two Pegasus officers. They're not in good shape.

This is a world that has been ravaged by war. There are now two sections to Equestria, one devoted to Celestia, or the Solar, and one dedicated to Luna, or the Nightside. Ponies do not control the Sun or Moon here, neither do Pegasi control the weather, something which Dash has a hard time accepting. Speaking of acceptance, this story has what is for me a delightful situation: a language barrier. Apparently, Dash is speaking 'Old Equestrian', a language known only to scholars. Fortunately, she later comes into contact with a pegasus mare ( who can do Unicorn magic! ) named Star Fall who is such a scholar.

To mention much more would be to give away too much. Suffice it to say I really enjoyed this story, and hope that you will as well!

Reading: The Laughter and the Night

Reviewing: The Laughter and the Night

Read: All

Status: Approved

Please gather 'round
And listen close
This poem to review,
I'll do my best
To pass the test
Of telling this to you

This tale is set
Its stanzas met
In iambic heptameter,
An adventure Luna takes
Before her fears defeat her

Before I take
And choose to make
Further reviewing on FiMFiction
Read now the prose
The author chose
For this epic poem's description:

Told mostly in "fourteeners," iambic heptameter couplets broken into quatrains, this mini-epic poem follows Princess Luna and Pinkie Pie, drawn together by circumstance and ancient prophecy, as they confront a menace from Equestria's past.

Now you may ask
What is this task
For the Princess of the Night?
And why does she
A companion seek
The laughing Pinkie Pie?

The poem starts
With Luna's heart
And the fiend that stole it sure
She'd thought him dead
With the words he'd said
Over a thousand years before

But now she knows
His presence grows
Within her mind and heart
To defeat Bucephalus—'The Rage Forlorn,'
An Element must do her part

But who to take?
What choice to make?
The Princess must decide
She finds the Elements gone except
For the cheerful Pinkie Pie

For this review
You'll find it's true
And of the poem I speak
Though words are few
You'll find that you
Still understand my speech

Though some may find
A different mind
And think that prose is best
And may indeed
Need a second read
To understand the rest

But as for me
I think you'll see
The choice I made is right
So for the Bin
I'd choose again
The Laughter and the Night.

Reading: A Dodgy Business

Reviewing: A Dodgy Business

Read: Five chapters

Status: Approved

According to the author, this is his or her's first foray into writing for FimFiction, but I'm guessing this isn't the first story they've written. This tale has an interesting atmosphere, as well as a dialogue that that has a flair all its own. Here's the description:

A call for help from Cherry Jubilee brings Applejack back to a very different Dodge Junction. Its residents are fearful, a gang of kleptomaniacs has the full run, trolls are on the loose, and the sheriff's in a criminal's pocket.

Besides Big Macintosh, the only pony on Applejack's side is the most accident-prone being in Equestria. If the schemes of a psychotic but dainty griffon don't ruin things, Clutterstep just might. Applejack reckons they've got as much chance as a seed in a storm, but an Apple always honors her friends. It's a race to finish the harvest and save Cherry Hill Ranch while making it out alive back to Ponyville.

One of the things that stands out with this story is its characters, both canon, and OC. These "kleptomaniacs" mentioned in the description are an interesting race called Varmin. They're not explicitly described, but I get the impression they're some sort of ape or sentient rodent. Well, mostly sentient at best, and they speak in what I assume are Cockney accents. In any case, they're fun to read.

Speaking of OCs, ( and giving a good impression ) there's the blue Earth pony named Clutterstep. Have you ever met someone and instantly took a liking to them? Something about the way they spoke, or their mannerisms, or something indefinable? That's Clutterstep, one of the most accident-prone characters I've ever read. But as I said, he's instantly likable, with a knack for causing unexplainable events that is almost at Pinkie Pie-level.

As good as this tale is, it could use an editor, for I found many instances of misspelled words, or using the wrong word at the right time. I'm not sure if this last is part of the flavor of dialogue or not, but it stood out.

The author displays a thorough knowledge of the show, dropping hints and references to other episodes, ones that true fans of the show will understand with no effort. Another thing that stood out is the world-building in the descriptions of Earth pony magic, magic that is new but also familiar.

So give this one a few hours of your time. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.

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Sorry for the late reply, but as the person who submitted this fic to the group, I'm glad you're enjoying it

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'Twas a most excellent recommendation, my good Sir!

Reading: Trains, Carriages and Airships

Reviewing: Trains, Carriages and Airships

Read: All

Status: Approved

Well, this was a fun story! From the title, I knew I was in for a Planes, Trains and Automobiles remake, but to my wonder and delight, it wasn't a word-for-word copy. Here's the description:

If necessity is the mother of all invention, then assumption is the mother of all screw-ups. And there's no worse time to be making assumptions than when you're traveling - especially when what should have been a simple overnight ride turns into a three day trip from hell.

Like the movie, this is a tale of travelers trying to get to a city within a certain timeframe, and nothing but disaster follows. Twilight, Applejack and Rainbow are traveling to Manehatten for a Wonderbolts convention, one that should have been an easy trip. The author weaves parts of the movie into this tale of three friends overcoming all odds ( barely ) to make it to their destination. Within we see some top-notch characterizations and wordplay, as well as some very creative uses of pony puns for the names of all the cities they encounter.

Some of the jokes did fall flat, as they didn't translate well into pony, but on the whole, it was still a funny story. It was so compelling I ended up reading the entire thing, instead of stopping after three or four chapters as I normally do. For those familiar with the source material, this is even funnier, especially the scene with the "two pillows." Even though I saw the joke coming, I still laughed right out loud when I read it.

I found very few grammatical errors and none of the dreaded said tag errors I've been seeing lately, which was a relief! As I mentioned, the tale flows so well you'll find yourself at the end before you realize it. This one is now one of my Favorites!

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Awesome! I'm glad that you enjoyed the story as well! I knew I had to submit the story to "The Goodfic Bin" as soon as I finished it because of how well-written and funny the story was.

Reviewing: The Two-Step

Read: All

Status: Accepted

Today I'll be reviewing a tale that really needs the Porn tag. Now normally, I'm a bit wary of pony porn, as they usually follow the same tropes, using "porn logic" to place the players in erotic situations. This story has that to some degree, but not enough to reject it out of hand. Let's look at the description:

Applejack wakes up to find herself in an uncomfortable situation: she's in a motel, hungover, and there's a strange stallion in the bathroom. As she tries to piece together what happened the previous night, she realizes that what she thought would be a simple trip to the watering hole went horribly wrong.

Fap material notwithstanding, I found this to be interesting enough to finish the tale, and even look over a few chapters of the sequel. Applejack finds herself in a situation many of us have been through: having a bit too much to drink one night, and finding a stranger in bed next to you. The story does a good job of describing Applejack's quite believable reactions: confusion, regret, shame, remorse. Especially when she finds out exactly who it was she'd shared a bed. I found that to be a bit of a stretch, as she should have recognized him drunk or sober, but I eventually shrugged and decided to roll with it, the tale was so entertaining. Applejack then has to deal with the aftermath, as she'd used no protection, and the reader is taken right inside her head as she tries to discretely discover whether or not she's pregnant.

Spoiler alert: she is.

This has been one of the few porn tales with an actual story, and I like how the author takes us right alongside Applejack through all her trials. The sequel looks interesting as well, so after you read this one I'd give that one a go. Congratulations author, for I normally don't approve any porn titles, but this one passed.

Reading: The Steeden University of Culinary Arts

Reviewing: The Steeden University of Culinary Arts

Read: Four chapters

Status: Rejected

I tried. I really tried to enjoy this tale, but I just couldn't get into it. Don't get me wrong...it's quite well written, with few grammatical errors and a plethora of foreign words and phrases that speak quite well of the author's grasp of different languages. The problem is the characterizations.

There was something that was just off about the way Pinkie is portrayed here. Maybe it's the setting, maybe it's the fact she's away from all her friends, but she just did not seem like herself. She's bright and bubbly, but the story has her trying way too hard to be likable, especially with one of the other OCs that just doesn't like her.

Normally, it only takes me a few weeks to review a story, but each chapter of this one was simply a chore I avoided as long as possible.

Reviewing: ADHD: Adagio Dazzle Has Difficulties

Read: All

Status: Rejected

Sigh. No, just...no.

Here's a tale that tries to be funny, but doesn't quite make it. This is the description:

Adagio Dazzle tries to take over Canterlot High, but many annoying obstacles stand in her way.

...and with that, we have the setup for the "jokes." Adagio and the other Sirens simply attempt to enter the school cafeteria, and many things happen to her, like slipping on a banana peel. It's humor at its lowest form and simply did not work. Pratfalls can be funny, but too many, one after the other, are not.

The fact that this tale is exactly one thousand words shows not much effort was put into it as well. That's the bare minimum for any kind of setup, let alone a Comedy, and another mark against it. Even though they're established characters, we the reader are not given time to meet them in this setting. Strike three.

Take a bit more time and really set up the humor, raising it above the level of slipping on banana peels.

Reviewing: Stars Behind Each Eyelid

Read: All

Status: Accepted

Here we have a tale that was just the right length for its purpose. This is the description:

She had stars behind each eyelid,
And a galaxy in her soul,
That drew people to her endless heart,
Like the pull of a black hole. -e.h.

On a quiet night, two young lovers reflect under the stars.

Short and sweet, just like the tale that follows. Tonight we have a Human Scootaloo and Rumble, spending time with each other stargazing. Or rather, Scootaloo is mostly stargazing, while Rumble's attention is elsewhere. I was frankly amazed at the level of emotions the writer is able to bring out in just over one thousand words, for in that short space of time we understand the feelings each has for the other, without being syrupy sweet.

Scootaloo is well known, so it's easy to tell if her characterization is spot on, but Rumble is a bit of a background character, so he's not as simple. Even so, both were well done and very relatable.

So take five minutes and give this one a read. I think you'll be surprised.

Reading: Her Knight in Faded Armor

Reviewing: Her Knight in Faded Armor

Read: Three chapters

Status: Accepted (Reluctantly)

First, let's start with the good. The story is well-written, with a signature style that immerses the reader in its world. I saw very few grammatical errors; nothing that would be distracting. The action scenes were very much action packed, as well as being detailed. The tale begins with Gamer Luna practicing her craft with a MMORPG. The author is obviously a fan of such, for the terms used are all quite familiar and the setting is easy to pick up. The next chapter then shifts in the middle of the chapter to Luna being called to an informal council of war, and again, much detail and imagination went into the situations described and the characters named. The chapter ends with a distinct note of intrigue, as more characters are introduced and their plans partially revealed. The third and final (for my reading) chapter begins by introducing new characters, both well known and OC, in a private setting in Ponyville. Things are not all well, as the conflict between some of the characters are laid out and the reader is again immersed in their plight. We are then taken back into the gaming world, and the chapter ends.

Those were all the good. The bad begins with the chance the reader has no idea what an MMORPG is, and that's why I reluctantly approved it. MMORPG stands for Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game, and the reader has to know what those are in order to fully enjoy this tale. Therefore this story is best suited to a niche audience, and as such would not have been approved if gaming weren't already so popular most readers understand the terms used. I play World of Warcraft, so I was saved from being lost.

Another thing that stood out is some of the characterizations. Luna simply did not sound like herself in this tale. I understand she doesn't always speak archaically, but there's usually some formality to her speech. There was none of that here, in fact, she sounds like the role she's playing: a teen to twenty-something gamer. I suppose that's the point, but I found it off-putting and really wreaked havoc with my immersion.

The final note was the writer's use of hyperlinks in the tale to insert music. I'm never a fan of such; I believe that writers should write, and allow their words to convey mood and atmosphere.

So if you're a gamer, or are at least familiar with the terms used in gaming, you might enjoy this tale.

Reading: The Djinni's Tale

Reviewing: The Djinni's Tale

Read: All

Status: Accepted

Now, this was a fun one! Let's start with the description:

In the deserts of Saddle Arabia, an explorer finds more than he bargained for in an ancient tomb.

Short and sweet, but gives little foreshadowing as to the tale. Basically, an unnamed unicorn, bland, nondescript, sets off exploring. The reader is immediately given the idea he's been doing this for a while, and is good at his work. He's looking for a specific place, one shunned by the locals, and only manages to find a guide who will take him to the area, but refuses to go inside. After many potential dangers, he finally finds the tomb of Emir Ahan...only to find it ravaged. He is apparently not the first explorer to visit this tomb, and it shows. There is nothing of value left, not even legible markings, He begins to make his way out, when this happens:

It was just as he was preparing himself to leave that he caught a slight glint in the corner of his eye. Turning his head, he looked over at one pile of rubble in a dark corner of the emir’s tomb. There was the slightest hint of reflected light coming from underneath one of the many dusty rocks there. Curious, and having little to lose, the stranger walked over and immediately fathomed why he had not seen this before: he simply hadn’t examined the stones from the proper angle.

Chiding himself for being careless, he gently pulled the rocks aside with magic. He soon saw what it was that had caught his eye… and was again disappointed. It was a simple bronze oil lamp of modest size. To be sure, he dug further, but there he found nothing more. The old vessel appeared dusty and severely tarnished with age. It was simple bronze all over, alternatively flat or mildly dented. It lacked any distinguishing marks, symbols, or artistry, so utterly generic that the stranger could not even hazard a guess at its age or origins. It could have been part of the emir’s belongings and simply have been tossed aside as worthless, or perhaps was simply a lost possession of a previous visitor.

As you've probably guessed from the title, he eventually rubs the lamp, and that's where the true magic happens in this tale, both literally and figuratively.

This story reads with a clean, crisp style I've not encountered lately. Emotions, scenery, sights and smells are all laid out, making the immersion complete. What is also unusual for this tale is it's entirely made up of OCs, not an easy task for a writer of fanfiction to pull off. But as a reader, one does not feel the lack of established characters, as the tale is fully captivating, especially when the "djinni" makes her appearance.

I saw some similarities with the genie from Aladdin, not only with the OC but also in the telling of the tale, but it's not a retelling of the movie. Indeed, this may be a bit of a spoiler, but this genie cannot be set free with a wish, for reasons you'll have to enjoy the tale to find out. It is alternately funny, tragic and sad at times, but one I think you'll find well worth your time.

Reading: The Earth Ponies

Reviewing: The Earth Ponies

Read: Eight chapters

Status: Approved

With Twilight Sparkle's ascension to Princesshood, little fillies across the world dream away with the knowledge that any one of them could become a Princess themselves, somehow, some day. Unicorns dream of sprouting wings and tasting the clouds, Pegasi imagine what it might be like to conjure from thin air, and the Earth Ponies...

Well, they've always been a practical people. "Keep your hooves on the ground and your head with your hooves," as they say.

But one little Earth Pony wonders how different her kind is from the fiery Pegasi and crafty Unicorns - What does an Earth Pony have to offer that they don't?

Now, this is an amazing adventure! Three filly friends, representing each Tribe, first begin to research the history of Earth pony magic for the purposes of discovering whether or not an Earth pony can or has ever ascended to an Alicorn. I should probably mention this tale takes place soon after Twilight Ascended, and it is the dream of every young filly to follow in her hoofsteps. The little Earth filly, Half Note, especially dreams of such, while she also feels slighted, believing there's little magic in her tribe beyond their strength and the ability to grow crops. So she convinces her friends to help her research.

Starting with books that dealt mostly with the politics of ancient times, (which is all they can find that deal with hard facts) they then reluctantly move onto fables. It is there they find tales of the Earth Spirits, and one, in particular, named Aestrak, a Dragon.

Half Note blinked. "So wait a minute. They're saying a Dragon is an Earth Spirit thing? I thought Dragons were all about flying and fire and...hot stuff."

"They do eat gems." Tornado chirped."I can't think of anything else that'll eat any kind of rock."

"Okay, I'll give you that one. So where did it say they were...?" Half Note took the book and looked at it. Firelock spared her the trouble of reading it.

"South, far south--as in the Dragon Wastes. That's a loooong way away." Firelock tapped one hoof on the table and held her head up with the other, her face scrunched up in thought.

It is soon after they all make up their minds to seek out Aestrak and find out from the source the secrets of Earth pony magic.

This is a story full of world-building and suspense, with a bit of humor thrown in for good measure. I found myself drawn into the fillies' plight as they struggle to set out, alone, far from their homes and safety, into the wilds. There were few grammatical errors such as misused said tags, but they don't detract much from the immersion. What does detract immersion are the author's notes that appear at the end of every chapter, which I highly recommend skipping. The author makes the mistake of airing his or her doubts about the story, musings I feel would be better placed in a blog. Other than that, the tale flows quite nicely, and you'll find yourself going through chapters in a rush.

My only other complaint is the tale is unfinished, so I stopped long before I got frustrated by the lack of conclusion. I hope this tale will be completed soon, as I will place it in my Tracking folder and will be keeping an eye out for its development.

Reviewing: From Dat Place to Dis Place

Read: All

Status: Approved

This was an odd one. Here we have a parody of the ‘Displaced’ genre. If you’re unfamiliar with the trope, the stories all follow the same basic formula: a teen to twenty-something (usually male) starts out at a ComicCon cosplaying as his or her favorite character. They usually meet a Merchant or some other type of shady character that sells them an object that turns out to have actual powers, which in turn sends them to Equestria. Once there, instead of befriending the inhabitants, they either torture and/or kill all they meet. They’re invariably endowed with God-tier powers, so no one can stop them, all while told in first-person as they justify their behavior with their teenage angst. It is very much a niche genre beloved mostly by readers who relate to the “hero”, of whom I suspect are all teen to twenty-somethings themselves.

This tale takes that trope and turns it on its head, doing all the above in the first two chapters, but with a surprise twist in the third and final chapter. It is that twist which sets this tale apart from other Displaced stories, and which earned the respect of several Displaced anti-loyalists if the comments are any indication. But it turns out that was the intention of the writer, for he has a long history of being in conflict with that genre, so this story was his answer.

I knew by the author going in this was going to be a parody, so I did not take seriously anything that happened in the first two chapters, knowing the author had a surprise up his sleeve. It was very direct, and at the same time surprisingly heart-warming, one I did not expect from this writer.

So take a few minutes and give this one a read. Even if you are a Displaced fan, you might find some surprises in the end.

Reading: Rainbow Dash, Element of Magic

Reviewing: Rainbow Dash, Element of Magic

Read: All

Status: Rejected

I liked this concept, I really did, but there are just too many lazy errors to pass it.

This tale takes the regular pony universe and stands it on its head. All the Mane Six have different cutie marks (except for Rarity, who is a blank flank with no explanation) and different jobs: Applejack is the fashionista, Twilight works the farm, Fluttershy is the bubbly, happy extrovert (who still likes animals) and Pinkie is in her Pinkamena persona, dour and sullen. Oh, and Rarity dreams of flying one day and puts all her energy into discovering how without using magic. Plus, she’s missing some teeth, presumably through all her failed attempts. Sunset Shimmer is also part of the story, but she is insanely jealous of Rainbow for being able to learn magic (who uses her wings to generate spells) and stealing her spotlight with Celestia, so she is an actual villain in this tale.

In the Author’s Notes, the author makes mention of being tired and rushing while writing, and it shows. Pronouns are sometimes not capitalized, there are weird formatting with the paragraphs, many, many words are misspelled. Tenses are sometimes off, as well as mistakes like referring to Applejack as the “farmer.” I can overlook an error or two, but this many is too many.

Get an editor and clear up the mistakes, and this will be a proud addition to the Bin.

Reading: Simple Fate, Tough Acceptance, Blessed Conclusion

Reviewing: Simple Fate, Tough Acceptance, Blessed Conclusion

Read: Half of the chapter, skimmed the rest.

Status: Rejected

Let’s start with the description:

Cheerilee has been hospitalized. An unfortunate accident caused her to be in a dying state. Now, she is slowly waiting for the unevitable. Luckily, there is someone that might help her out one last time.

A certain red stallion is going to be with her, as long as it is needed. And he is not planning to let her go that easy. He is willing to do anything to make her feel better. Anything.

That should be “inevitable,” and the other sentence should be “And he is not planning to let her go that easily.” These errors are but a harbinger of the errors that blanket this tale, ones I finally couldn’t stand reading anymore.

Besides spelling and tense errors, this very much tell versus show story is written by someone who is either very young or is not a native English speaker.

"Hurry up kids! The mountain is just a few more miles away!" said Cheerilee as she encouraged her students to follow up. The kids, been unfamiliar with long treks, were panting on their way to the mountain.

"Miss Cheerilee! Could you pweeeaaase stop for a minute? I'm so tired!" complained Twist. Cheerilee saw the young filly tired, her legs shaking from all the walking she and her classmates had done. Cheerilee sighed and understood.

"Okay, okay. We can take a break here;" she said as she looked at the mountain once again. ";Well, it looks like the trip can wait a little..."

It would take longer than I care to take to point out all the errors in the above passage, just know that the entire story is like this. Oh, and I forgot to mention the author made the further dubious decision to embed a Youtube video in the very beginning of the tale, one which I never bother clicking on while doing a review. I believe that writers should, you know, write, and allow their words to convey emotions and atmosphere. Using videos in a story is a shortcut, and shows a lack of talent.

I simply could not get immersed in this story, the errors were so distracting. I really don’t think an editor would be much help either, for there are fundamental flaws in writing that only age and experience can fix. Show the reader the emotions and reactions, don’t tell the reader. Learn that, and the rest will come.

Reading: Letters From a Friend at the End of the World

Reviewing: Letters From A Friend at the End of the World

Read: Twelve chapters

Status: Approved

This was a very moving and exceptional story! The author shows a masterful hand at scene description, mood and atmosphere, so one quickly finds themselves lost inside the tale. Here’s the description:

For almost a year now, Trixie has been sending letters to Twilight. The only problem is, Twilight hasn't gotten a single one... until today. But now that she has, Twilight is left with more questions than she knows how to answer. Fortunately, she has a plan. Unfortunately, she doesn't know if that plan will work.

Approaching this tale was like being served a meal of hors d’oeuvres: each chapter was very small (about 1.5k words) but packed with emotion and action, so one has to read many chapters in order to get a full meal. I stopped reading at twelve chapters, for by then I’d absorbed enough of the tale to get a fuller understanding of the whole.

Trixie, full of bitterness at her humiliation at the hooves of Twilight, embarks on a journey to find a foe great enough to challenge her abilities and allow her to, in her mind, get her fame back from the ponies of Equestria. But sometime during her travels and tribulations, she has a change of heart and begins to see Twilight in a different light. I’m sure it has much to do with the OC ponies she’s with, and the growth she undergoes while facing each challenge. It’s quite the heartwarming journey.

I must make mention of how well thought out each OC appears thus far. Each has a depth and strength of character I’ve rarely encountered in a fanfiction, and my only regret in reading this phenomenal tale is the author hasn’t made an appearance on FiMFiction since 2018 and therefore will be unaware of the accolades bestowed upon his or her work. Even so, it was featured on Equestria Daily before they left, no mean feat for a fiction writer. Hopefully, the one who recommended this tale is still active on this site, so there’s some satisfaction there.

This one is definitely now one of my Favorites, as I’m sure it will be for future readers.

Reading: Littlehorn

Reviewing: Littlehorn

Read: All

Status: Accepted

Now then, this was a story that pulled no punches. It starts out innocently enough, establishing the characters (or perhaps reintroducing them...I haven't read Fallout: Equestria, so I don't know if these were already in the larger story), and setting the reader up for a nice, complete slice-of-life tale. We the reader are given details on unicorn magic through the eyes and actions of the students, a bit of information that can be somewhat dry at times, but still interesting. The author does a superb job of well thought-out scenery, whether they be with the characters interactions in the classroom or the action scenes of the hoofball game.

But then the story takes a dark turn, and if you're like me and never read the source material, it was completely unexpected. I won't give away the ending, but just know there's no such thing as plot armor in this tale. It is a tale of war, and as such, the results can be unpredictable. There's a certain story tag that could have been used, but after reading the tale I realize that would have given away the ending. You'll know what I mean once you read it.

This story's emotional impact was almost as strong as the gut punch I got from reading Peaceable Kingdom, and that is high praise.

This story only takes about ten minutes to read, but those ten minutes will seem like a lifetime.

'Knocks aside six feet of dirt and kicks the lid off the coffin.'

"I LIIIIIIIIVE!!!!!!!!"

And I command this thread lives as well!

So, what could I have possibly come out of obscurity for? A story equally obscure, but oh so good despite that. I'm talking of course, about Daring Do and the Hand of Doom, by Unwhole Hole. Now, it's been a while since I read it, I got bit hard by the Worm Fandom and I've doing all my reading over there recently, but I still remember this one well enough to want to nominate it.

A summary: Daring Do gets hired to find the Hand of Doom, a mystical artifact from a civilization all official sources agree never existed. However, before she even gets started she gets attacked by a stallion wielding technology decidedly too advanced for Equestria's industry. She and Rainbow Dash then must go on a quest to piece together the truth from what fragments of information remain after millennia of decay, all while racing against ponies and ...other things who always seem to know more about what's going on than she does.

Let's get into why I think this story belongs here. This story earns its adventure tag, and if I had to give it more tags they would be Mystery, Sci-Fi, Dark, Horror, and Thriller, in that order. I won't be saying too much because of spoilers, but this story captures perfectly the feeling of wandering the ruins of a long dead greater civilization. The story never comes out and says it, but the Ponykind of today is a faint shadow of what they once were, and the author expertly sprinkles in just enough hints for you to piece some of it together. That horror, by the way, is of a distinctly Sci-Fi/Lovecraftian bent, which happens to be my personal favorite variety of the stuff. What's more, this story takes the unusual route of changing the lifespan of each tribe, making Earth ponies live twice as long as Pegasi, and Unicorns anywhere from 3 times earth ponies to functionally immortal, and then sticks the landing on accounting for how that would shape Equestrian society.

Now, that's how the world is great, so let's dive into why the characters can match it. Daring Do and Rainbow Dash are no slouch as the main characters, and they never feel stupid, just thoroughly out of their depth, but the OCs and side characters are the real attraction. Again, spoilers, but DD and RD's adversaries are wonderfully fleshed out with concrete motives and just the right combination of disturbing and reasonable sounding practices. And the side characters! I remember distinctly a dinner party/art display/spy mission where the host and hostess just had such an interesting dynamic because one was a unicorn and the other an earth pony, and how the difference in their life spans was causing friction between them. This is what I meant when I said he sticks the landing.

And the ending, the ending is everything I could have asked for. I'm not talking about this, I refuse to ruin it, just go read.

That said, this story is long, with a decent amount of atmosphere building. If you have no patience and just want to get into the good stuff, you'll probably get bored before it really gets going, which is why I suspect it stayed below the 10 like/dislike votes threshold for almost the entire time it was being updated.

Final rating: 9.5+ This one deserves more attention than it got, and it's going in the high quality bin.

Reviewing: My Little Pony Equestria Girls: The Moons of Canterlot High

Read: All

Status: Rejected

Here is a first-effort mature fic that tried way too hard to be funny. The premise is simple: on a trip to a soccer game, Rainbow, Applejack, and Pinkie see the rival team in the next bus over, and after exchanging evil looks, Rainbow gets the inspired idea to moon them. And then that joke is done again. And again. And...you get the idea.

The story stretches the bounds of common sense by arranging the opposing team to lose, which allows Rainbow and Company to give a bow while the crowd cheers, only for the opposing team to rush out, grab their shorts and rip them off. This comes off more creepy than funny, and I found myself frowning as I read this, which was a far cry from laughing. The girls rush off, trying to find something to cover themselves with, but are of course unsuccessful. Can't have a moon joke without the full moons present, now can we? In the end, they decide to steer into the skid and put on a show for the ones gawking at them, plus a sex scene that was implied but never shown. That raised the creep factor past 11.

Story content aside, this tale could use the light touch of an editor, or at least have the author pay closer attention to details. Improper use of "their" and "there," "to" and "too," examples abound. All in all, these types of errors did little to distract from the story, which by now you've deduced could have been much better.

As first efforts go, I've seen much worse.