50 Years before the events of Fallout Equestria, a monster falls in love with his victim and becomes best of friends with his hunter. Talk of a legendary Raider King brings pariahs from all over the wasteland to the town of Ponyville.
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Why did you make the cover art so confusing and messy? I can't tell what's going on in it.
6950976 I actually drew my own cover art, which I've heard is like a capital sin for some people but for Joker's Wild, the chaotic style works. I had a really good artist friend I wanted to have draw it, but he demanded I draw my own, because he likes how I draw. This is a story that celebrates the haphazard, chaos of the wasteland, so I like the scratchiness of it. I need to add more contrast so things are clear. The cover has Tumbleweed on top of a giant radscorpion, with a balefire egg in one hoof, the pandora fridge in the other. It will probably never be an accurate image, but it is true to the spirit of the story!
6956293 Yeah, some of the lines are not my finest, but I am glad you enjoyed some of the wit. Those bits are are always the hardest to figure out. To find when to place them in, and what to say, and how to word it in the most poignant way possible. I will sit around on a document for a long time and come up with nothing.
Still as you said, the main focus of the section is the Calypto and Tumbleweed's relationship. We had just had a number of scapegrace scenes, and I needed to reintroduce Calypto with a strong bonding moment. Once upon a time, I think there might have been schemes for a Scapegrace development, but I like having good start and stops for scenes, and the Calypto section dominated. I also wanted to transition into the following bits quickly, as I was behind on getting stuff out. I ended up choosing against having a development moment there. This was also written way back, immediately after chapter 2. I don't think I had really worked out Scapegrace's entire role in the story by then, so it would have been a gamble as to how good of a scene it would have been.
Scapegrace will get her moments, but Calypto is an important character to define for this story. Few FOE stories have the kind of high octane friendship that Tumbleweed and Calypto have. You get to see tense characters who bond via commiseration a lot, or characters who devolve into being romanticallly or sexually involved, or things like that. There are few male protagonists in FOE stories, and few strong male friendships, so I wanted to show them being bro's.
Oooooh, better watch yo self Tumblefuck!
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Came to the wrong neighborhood!
Oh wow, heh heh heh. I'm not sure what you'll do with this new development, but right at the end of the chapter, some part where Tumbleweed went *squish* , I thought it was sort of like Majora's Mask.
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Isn't that the fun part of things? Not knowing what is going to happen next? The next section is certainly interesting.
Majora's Mask is a good thing to be feeling. That moon is an omen.
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I love your cover art, too! JW has this... turbulant feel to it, and the art style fits.
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Lighting is one of those much neglected combat variables that stories breeze over. We have so many tools to deal with it, and can adapt to it, but only if it is a problem in the first place. The eyepatch trick is something that people would actually use in espionage groups, in case of flash bangs.
He doesn't use the term raider does he? He is calling more than just raiders, but there is more to raiders than just savages. It's survival of the fittest, so "dumb savage raiders" get killed quickly. You end up with smart savages at the very least. Raider is an occupation not a mental disorder. Raiders have been relatable revolutionaries for centuries. Look at the mongols! Hell, the original fallout raiders are based on them!
This is Joker's Wild! Get used to it! Three cheers for double entendres!
I know what you mean, but it is the limitation of writing. A fight throws so many actors and variables into the mix, and writing can only talk about one at a time. I would have more content on Calypto's part in the fight, but it would screw up the pacing. This is a scene of inferred conflict. Calypto is still doing his own thing. The joke comes in as a comment to something seen out of the corner of his eye that just can't be ignored. It prevents the scene from having tunnel vision. I can't show everything that goes on, you have to have some imagination.
Using what you have is the name of the game. Also, they are bounty hunters. Scummy bounty hunters, but bounty hunters none the less.
Everybody loves that Pinkie scene. I had so much fun writing it. It almost didn't happen. It is the most recently written part of chapter 3 as a whole. I rewrote that whole fight scene to accommodate having it as part of it. I think it worked out well.
Glad you liked it!
Aww, I should put that bit on my wall to keep me going!
I think there was supposed to be a "seen" between "I'd" and "from."
Considering the style of narration, I think you could do without the comic sound effects in this scene.
Now, a team inflicting pain upon one another can make for good humor. Shooting someone in the leg just because they pointed out a fact is not in good taste. In fact, it comes the closest this entire story to the bad kind of absurdity, the one where even the rules of the story are violated and characters are derailed.
He gets berserk when characters question his refrigerator? You know what, that does sound characteristic of Tumbleweed.
What a twist!
This fight is probably the first to really demonstrate Tumbleweed's prowess in close quarters, since he has to rely more upon quick thinking, environmental awareness, and understanding of his opponent's balance and strength to win the battle. Fights with layered factors and streamlined presentation should become the staple of this story.
The simile there is a little contrived. Such anger and determination. This paragraph should mark the transition from build-up to execution, but the language somehow feels tamed, because the simile does not work.
How cheeky of this villain.
The fight between Tumbleweed and Killjoy is definitely the highlight of the chapter. Any business with the alicorn afterwards is well and all, but the fight overshadows that scene easily. I have praised the clever narration of this story before, and I have expressed my problems with the earlier fights, but this chapter seems to correct the problems I noticed. I only hope later clashes embody the same level of thought, personality, and pacing as this one.
But the writing does not always capitalize on the potential of the scene. Strange similes and nonsensical phrases like "He was most of the way out, when the music found him" cut into the thought-out sections of writing like knives. Some readers may find their immersion disrupted, trying to understand what that particular phrase means.
Furthermore, Calypto's contemptible shooting of Tumbleweed should have been written out entirely. The drive it provides later in the chapter is not enough to make up for the pure derailment it does to his character. Calypto has shot Tumbleweed before... on accident. Even then, he maintains that he has principles of a justice-bent hero. Shooting Tumbleweed out of mild annoyance calls all of those 'principles' and 'justice' into question. Plus, it just feels like a really poorly delivered joke in bad taste.
This chapter is easily the most exciting thus far, but it is also hurt by a number of issues, all of which can be easily rectified. I look forward to seeing where this story is going to go in the next chapter.
I'm pretty sure tumbleweed has the wacky wasteland perk at this point.