Being a Royal Guard is difficult work, especially when the radio receives a distressing message. How in the world can you react to this?!

Princess Luna, newly back from her banishment, begins dreamwalking again and witnesses something all too real.

A hunt begins, and it will lead down a path of violence, betrayal, and a guilt that festers...

Suggested for "Suggest A Story September" by Surfing Pikachu.

Twilight takes Celestia to McDonald's to get a special toy, they gave her the wrong toy.

art by: alumx, and jargon scott, and threetwotwo32232

A storm knocks out the power to Luke and Moonlight Zephyr's house. She doesn't realize the implications of it until she tries to make herself a smoothie.

Not having electricity is, for her, a minor inconvenience. Not having her smoothie is a tragedy, and the obvious solution is to fix the wires.

Luke is not on board with this plan. Power lines are dangerous.

She's not convinced, and she can fly.

Pinkie sets out on a quest to determine which of her friends makes the softest pillow.

Thanks to 6-D Pegasus for writing one-fifth of this story and for proofreading.

Thanks to Forcalor for pre-reading.

Cover done by IrradiatedPirateBooty.

Translated into Chinese by Nova Twinkle, available here.

Now with two readings, one done by Rainbow Infinity Readings, and one done by Pony&Wolf Productions.

When Nightmare Moon returned and slayed her sister, she plunged the world into an eternal nightmare by releasing dark creatures of the night.

Applejack found her place in this new world by hunting these creatures down for a living.

Unfortunately for her, when one hunt goes wrong, she's plunged into an adventure across Equestria to reunite with unknown friends she never knew she had.

You ended up in Equestria about two years ago, and in that time, you've become quite close with a number of ponies. Of them, Rarity in particular has left a major impression on you. She seems to enjoy having you around, and you appreciate the company.

That said, there is one major roadblock getting in the way of your relationship. More than anypony you know, Rarity is extremely concerned with keeping up appearances. As a fashion designer and all-around fabulous mare, she frequently wants your opinion on how she looks.

Unfortunately for you, you're a human with no way of telling what makes a pony "beautiful."

Most Earth ponies know how to cook familiar foods, but what to do when they face the baffling array of frozen foods in a grocery store on Earth?

Candy Apples has that problem and reasons that other ponies would, as well. So why not start a cooking channel to help ponies and anybody else who wants to watch?

Her channel is more of a success than she could have ever imagined.

Why isn't there a tag for Candy Apples? She's the background mare you should be thinking about.

Sometimes you really need a nice, big, juicy piece of meat to eat. Unfortunately, every creature around you has eyes larger than their heads and are friend shaped.

No animals were harmed in the making of this story, much to his dismay.

A goofy idea I spent an hour writing. Please enjoy.

Audiobook Version now available - Done by yours truly.

Read the story of a lifetime and experience the existential crisis your brain will exhibit in this journey you will never forget.

Also don't forget to smile for the camera.

(Also also, seriously this thing is meant to be extremely confusing and not make sense at all. Still doesn't mean there's isn't any meaning to this meaningless mess though...)