Most Earth ponies know how to cook familiar foods, but what to do when they face the baffling array of frozen foods in a grocery store on Earth?
Candy Apples has that problem and reasons that other ponies would, as well. So why not start a cooking channel to help ponies and anybody else who wants to watch?
Her channel is more of a success than she could have ever imagined.
Why isn't there a tag for Candy Apples? She's the background mare you should be thinking about.
Welcome to our world dear, welcome to the world of humanity where everything is diverse, versatile, and unique. 😎
Oh, she gonna get emails.
What kind of sadistic freak goes around instructing people to slice a pizza in fifths?
This is adorable and also funny at the same time.
We need more stories with the Admiral Biscuit approach.
Hot Pockets?
Wasnt there something about Princess Twilight having to lay down the law about those things when Pinkie and Dash went to town on them?
Eventually Pones are gonna pick up on the dumber naming conventions, and YouTube is shortly going to be blocking a whole load of totally normal pone channels.
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And cutting into squares isn't "Party Slice." That's fuckin Minnesota-style.
https://thetakeout.com/what-the-uff-is-minnesota-style-pizza-1821303150
Oh dear. I hope she doesn't run into the problem Shiroi did...
The proper term is a peel.
Also, a pizza stone is vastly superior to a metal oven pan or putting directly on the oven rack. Using a pizza stone on the charcoal grill gets you the best of all worlds. Though properly seasoning the stone can be a pain. If it isn't seasoned enough and crust gets burned on, you can't use a chain scrubber to clean it off like you would with cast iron.
Also, using a Dutch Oven in a charcoal grill is brilliant. Almost makes up for the inevitable fart jokes.
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Given that I saw this story because Biscuit added it to the "Pipp Streams Lewd" group...
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!!
Posted to
Admiral Biscuit's Fleet
Ponies On Earth folder
I used to read the Rabbi Small mysteries (Kemmelman) so I wondered "Is pizza kosher?".
Short answer: No.
1) You can't mix meat & dairy (I knew that) but even vegetarian or vegan pizza has problems.
2) Apparently, a kitchen has to be inspected & certified kosher by a Rabbi.
This is a TOTAL pain. You need separate dishes & utensils for meat & dairy dishes, just one employee using the wrong dish cancels the rating & that's just the start.
Plus, a Jew has to take part in making the dish otherwise it isn't kosher. (This depends. Orthodox Jews are strictest about this.) Since asking your employees if they are Jewish is illegal in the USA, there are obvious problems.
Plus, all Jews cannot eat leavened bread during Passover, so even a plain cheese pizza is Right Out.
Pilf Hunter… I both chuckled and shook my head at this.
THAT sponsor has been proven a scam. (Which is why you don't see them anymore except on YT vids they sponsored before everyone realized they were a scam. Some channels even went so far as to remove those vids and then repost them without the sponsor message.)
For those of you that have not see the Townsends:
https://www.youtube.com/@townsends/videos
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My Lutheran church has annual Seder meals.
"Christian Seders" are a legitimate thing, except when idiots pull stunts like leavened challah.
https://www.timesofisrael.com/christian-passover-seder-with-cross-shaped-challah-sparks-online-rage/
You'd think people would have caught the annual Ten Commandments broadcast on TV at least once and know better.
there's always one
This is just too wholesomely adorable.
And with the thoughts on wood stoves and no water heater, I started to ponder Amish ponies...
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Even the most newfangled 'molecular gastronomy' gimmicks can't beat wood or charcoal-fired pizza.
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True, though good enough is good enough when you don't have time to set up a wood- or charcoal-fired oven.
Candy...you are SOOO sweet and adorable...but you're getting scammed, sweetie. That..."sponsor" of yours? It's a totally bogus operation, and they only got you to use them because they knew you were new to Earth and were too naïve to check them out. YouTube should have warned her.
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Like I said earlier, a charcoal grill and pizza stone work fine. Though a thermometer is good to have to keep it at around 400°. If the grill doesn't have one built in, I don't know how accurate standalone ambient grill thermometers are.
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If you look at the episodes with the Pie family farm, it is my head canon that they are Manenites.
Or, they could just be going for a Little House On The Prairie look. The show doesn't say.
"This video was brought to you by RAID: SHADOW LEGENDS!"
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And probably overwhelming to a pony. So many choices.
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She's not wrong.
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AFAIK, none of the frozen pizza companies tell you how many slices to cut a pizza into. However, I've seen frozen pizza where the nutrition information is "per 1/5 pizza." (I've seen 1/6, 1/5, 1/4, and 'whole pizza')
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Thank you!
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Bah, what would they even know!? That's class! 😎 But class enough for so many delicious choices. 😋
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If anypony in Equestria was gonna get into Hot Pockets, it'd be those two.
They might, or they might not. I don't know what YouTube's rules are on usernames, if we're being honest.
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Detroit style's cut into squares, too. But we make our pizzas rectangular, so it's more logical to have squares.
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Depends on what YouTube's rules are.
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Yes it is. I don't know if it's called that if it's a similar tool for other purposes (bread, for example).
I don't know if it would make an appreciable difference for frozen pizzas. I've never bought a stone but I did buy an oven pan that was supposedly for making pizzas on and never use it 'cause it doesn't make any difference that I've been able to notice.
That's something I've cooked in before, back in Boy Scouts.
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It seemed appropriate. Especially since Ponly Fans was what inspired me to write it.
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She's dressed like everypony else in Ponyville; humans have different morals.
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Thanks!
I think you can if you're careful with ingredients (for example, no meat).
I think you can if it's applicable for the specific job--for example, I would imagine that you can ask a priest or pastor you're thinking of hiring if they have an appropriate divinity degree and if they are a member of the religion in question. Or in the case of preparing kosher/halal food, if they hold whatever appropriate knowledge (religious or otherwise) is required for the job.
In theory, you could make a pizza with unleavened bread, although I don't know how good it would be. There are non-yeast pizza dough recipes, as well as non-gluten ones (some of which would be unleavened AFAIK; I don't think you put yeast in a cauliflower crust, for example).
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Honestly, there's probably somebody who already has this username.
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They say that they're not; regardless, there was a period of time where they were sponsoring a lot of videos, and I was gonna use them in a story that I never wound up writing, so this seemed like a good place to put them in.
Honestly, having a certificate that says you're a lord or lady has no real value in the world; certainly you're not gonna get put into whatever the British or Scottish book of Nobles is just 'cause you bought a square of land in Dunfermline. At least Candy Apples isn't really making false promises; she recognizes that you can't just become noble by getting land.
Edit: Also, Townsends is the nicest man on the internet. In terms of cooking channels, Candy Apples might give him some competition (and I think the two of them would really hit it off.)
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One of the churches I used to attend did a proper Passover meal and IIRC everything was approved by and explained by a Rabbi.
I've also attended a Hindu wedding where the Priest explained some of the rituals for non-Hindus; that was really cool.
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Guarantee she's got more than that one as a viewer, maybe with names that aren't quite as on the nose.
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Thank you!
I've long wanted to write a fic with a working class or farmpony on Earth working with the Amish or the Mennonites and it being just like it was back in Equestria. The only reason I haven't is that I don't know enough about Amish or Mennonites to do it justice, and it's hard to find a genuine Amish or Mennonite person online.
If I had more free time, I'd totally head out to one of the Amish farms around me and do an in-person interview.
EDIT: maybe next time I have the free time to visit a draft horse show; there tend to be a lot of Amish/Mennonites there.
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If they pay her for the ad, she's not the one getting scammed. (Well, she did if she bought the certificate; on the other hand, she also knows that she doesn't become noble just by having that.)
It is a kind of dated reference at time of posting, but it's also a company I don't feel bad making fun of, and anybody who's been on YouTube over the last year has surely heard a YouTuber who's been sponsored by them.
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Like, they're a little behind the times, but in my vision of Equestria, they're not that behind the times. Most of my fics assume that the tech level in Equestira is roughly 1870s.
And here's another thing; we learned from the Zap Apple Jam episode that the rituals are important for making it, so maybe there are important rituals involved in rock farming, too.
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Yup, that's the reference I was going for
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I was thinking of Hello Fresh and her having trouble figuring out the ingredients . . . that might happen in another story.
I don't feel that Candy Apples would be a good match for RAID: SHADOW LEGENDS. She doesn't seem like the kind of pony who would enjoy a video game.
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There comes a point where there's just too many choices. I think there was a study done on pasta sauce and how many different kinds was a good number . . . I feel like it was a very low number, and of course the pasta sauce companies paid it no mind and now you can get like a billion different kinds.
Domino's started making more money when they dropped the number of menu items and the number of toppings. They even figured out (back in the day) that only offering one size of pizza made it easier for their customers and better for their bottom line.
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The folks at Raid Shadow Legends don't seem to care--they seem to try to get anybody they can to promote the darn game, even if the channel has squat to do with gaming or the youtuber much of a gamer. It's why it's so annoyingly common as a sponsor. So I guarantee you they'll still try and ask her regardless. Whether or not she accepts is another story, but she seems like the sort who'd at least consider it, just to be polite. And a sponsor is still a sponsor, after all.
That said, Hello Fresh does seem like a perfect sponsor for her. And a good product, from what I hear--I've actually been tempted to try it a couple times myself.
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Yeah...my daughter bought me one of those three years ago for Christmas. It's still on my wall, but at least I didn't go change my credit cards or checking accounts to read, "Lord Mark..."
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Well, the Menonites date back to the 17th century, that's about a century before the Revolutionary War.
Per Wikipedia, Little House On The Prairie was set 1870-1894. That's behind Manehatten, at least.