A first person account of a changeling guard who is helplessly, pathetically in love with King Thorax.

Now with a reading by Skijarama!

Have you ever just been having a regular day, then suddenly, BAM, you're dead? Well, no, of course you haven't. But what do you expect to happen after you die? If the answer was getting shoved into an overly pink copy of a pony princess, you'd be lying. Worse yet, she made me an alicorn just like her, which causes a whole new set of problems.

Unfortunately, she was adamant that I stay and become her twin sister. I ditched her immediately in my bumbling confusion and fear, and who could blame me? The last thing on my mind was being here! Ponies, princesses, and twin sisters? What kind of fantasy story was that? I was on the run, hiding from guard patrols, and fighting for my next meal. However, my own hubris caught up to me in the end, and her super powerful mother, Cadance, found me and made me see how stupid I was being. And Cadance, is an absolutely crazy powerful pony, with an even more powerful maternal instinct. So when it came down to her word against mine, she was really hard to convince, and she wasn't taking no for an answer.

(AKA, Super wholesome, fluffy, found family. And me having fun tugging on heartstrings.)
(Cover image by: me)

BLOG POST REGARDING THE HIATUS HERE!
Please, vote or comment your opinion if you care about this story.

So, I got blasted by some mages in my world, and now I'm in a completely new one. I'm something called a 'kirin', and I've lost my opposable thumbs. Surprisingly, it wasn't a polymorph spell either! My magic has gone completely wack. I burned down a forest. And apparently I'm the first ever Kirin to have alicorn magic, which sounds awesome right? Well, not when you're constantly combusting into flames! I never wanted this! And for some reason these ponies keep treating me so nicely. Even after I keep screwing everything up. How hard is it to act like normal for once in my life?

What? There's nothing wrong with me! Please don't send me back...

Cover art by: Ziper Ace
Featured on: 2023 - 4/13, 4/17, 4/22 and quite a few more... Thanks everyone!

Princess Flurry's dates are not up to Imperial standards.

With thanks to various Discords for brainstorming and Samey90 and RDT for pre-reading.

"Look at me, I'm Hitch. Everypony loves me, I've got a perfect mane, shredded abs and think my paid-off mortgage gives me the right to drag my deputy to chase after the crazy mare he already told me to arrest too many times to count. Bleh." Sprout murmured, kicking any small rock that got on his path in frustration.

The entire herd of bunnies that had gathered around the taller stallion suddenly cheered at his heroic speech and Sprout groaned.

(or: the movie if Hitch managed to drag Sprout along on the adventure)

[Cover art by me ]
[Now has a Playlist!I ]

Featured on 4-16-23!? Holy crap!

Thunder Strike. Ask anypony who's ever met him and they would probably describe him as proud member of Royal Guard; specifically a Lieutenant of the Palace Division. Always doing his very best to maintain the safety and security of the staff and visitors alike, and never hesitating to do what's needed of him.

Ask those that know him and they might tell you how he's a chronic workaholic who's maintaining unhealthy, unreasonable standards for his own conduct and performance leading him to slowly but surely working himself to death, and who desperately needs a vacation before it's too late.

Like it or not, he's going to learn the hard way that nopony, no matter how dedicated they may be, can possibly burn the candle at both ends indefinitely. And perhaps he'll learn something else along the way.

This story is a sequel to The Stereotypical Necromancer

Have you ever been reading The Stereotypical Necromancer and found yourself wondering: 'Gee, I wish there was even more dithering about in the daily life of this weirdo kid who constantly seems to be in some kind of crisis.'

Well now your itch can be firmly and painfully scratched! Look here for random little side things taking place in any time period I feel like! A chapter about Light as a child experiencing Nightmare Night! Backstory about Light's family! Awkward relationship dodging by a socially anxious kid who doesn't know better!

Anything you never really wanted! It's here! Read my stuff! Do it!

Oh, and obviously, you have to have read at least some of The Stereotypical Necromancer. Don't try to skip a step you weirdo.

After Twilight delivers a batch of books to Sweet Apple Acres as a gesture of goodwill, she finds that one member of the Apple Family is not interested in her offerings. Through her efforts to discover why, she inadvertently discovers Big Macintosh's most shameful secret.

Thanks to JBL for the story idea.

Thanks to Holo, Midnight Legend, ajvasquezbrony28, Sir Rustbucket, ValorlordV5, and Sage Runner for editing.

Now with a YouTube reading by Thornquill!

Rated Teen for some thematic elements.

3/14/24 Still Alive Edition

There's only one pony in Ponyville that the Mane Six have never met. Pinkie Pie has never thrown him a party, Applejack has never sold him a mug of cider, and Twilight has never seen him check out any books. And as far as that unicorn, Lapis Print, is concerned, that's exactly how it should be.

Lapis can't risk them knowing where he lives, what he does for a living, or even what his name is - if he gets his way, the Mane Six won't even know he exists, and nopony in Ponyville will miss him once he's gone.

It should be a piece of cake - after all, it's not like the biggest magical power in Equestria is about making sure everypony looks out for each other, right?

(Rated Teen for language - mental cursing mostly.)

Ever since he was a foal, Light Flow had always known he was destined to be a villain—but not just any villain; no, he wanted to be a Necromancer.

He had always been obsessed with reading fiction stories about the forbidden practice of Necromancy, and much to his delight, his cutie mark spelled his unavoidable destiny as a member of his oh-so revered profession!

But Necromancy is extremely taboo, and very illegal. Equestria hadn't even seen a genuine Necromancer since the times of the fabled Nightmare Moon.

Substituting joy for dread, Light Flow knew that he would have to hide his especially special talent at any cost. Whether in his daily, mundane life as a bookish nerd, or in the heat of extreme danger.

Good thing he doesn't have any friends, right?

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I have deleted the old AN in favor of a new one.

Hello all! If you don't know me, then good! I'm a stranger, and it'd be weird if you knew who I am!

This is my first story, and basically my first experience writing something long-term. To that end, the beginning of the story is a bit rough, but I grew as a writer somewhat significantly as time went on, so it doesn't stay quite as bad!

The story itself has somewhat wavered from goal to goal as I argued with myself about what I wanted from it, though I eventually managed to settle. In its current state, it's mostly managed to stick to a strange blend of comedic tragedy interspersed sporadically with magical jargon and slice of life.

An added warning due to justified complaining: this experience can be very subdued. Not for the easily bored or angered. Personally, I tend to use Background Pony as a benchmark for a person's capability to withstand words.

Prepare yourself for lots of rants and barely coherent plot-threads!

Also i'm an idiot who probably tagged wrong.

Also i'm a bad person who stole a Jargon Scott image for the cover. (And then a wonderful person named Adin Terim edited it <3)