This story did not explode! What a relief and/or letdown.

Part of OPERATION CRACKFIC STORM 2024 ( group | stories ).

Thanks to Silk Rose for coming up with the idea, writing chapters 22 and 9, and developing the code; thanks also to Meadowsys for general code help.

Thanks to IrradiatedPirateBooty ( tumblr ) for the awesome character art.

And thanks to everyone in the comments who stuck around for the final countdown!

This morning, Shining Armor thought that his daughter's goth phase was his biggest worry. Now, he has to deal with a retired stage magician, a smoke monster that refuses to stay dead, the dumbest possible parallel universe, AND his daughter's goth phase.

Nothing about this makes any sense... and why does King Sombra seem oddly afraid of Trixie...?

Quite possibly the crackiest of all crack fics I have ever written for any fandom to date. I wrote this in about a week and had an absolute BLAST writing it. Contains...

• Trixie's verbal tic maxed out to the point where it becomes a plot point of sorts
• brooding goth Flurry Heart, complete with goth name
• card tricks
• the Crystal Empire having quite possibly worse security protocols than it does in canon
• nopony taking anything quite as seriously as they probably should
• Shining Armor making a few rather questionable choices involving his daughter's safety
• card tricks
• a magic mirror portal that ought to be yeeted into the sun or moved to the SCP Foundation HQ
• trace amounts of Applejack
• an homage to the best Mumbo and Grian comedy skit from the Last Life series on YouTube
• card tricks

Inspired by TWO contests!

Entering this into the Portal Transformations Contest I.

Also, after some consideration and checking with Muggonny, entering this into the Shining Armor is a Terrible Dad 2024 Competition. It blasted WAY past the max word count, but I'll just have to live with the wordcount penalty.

Flurry Heart, her father, and a horde of Visigoths sack Rome. Along the way, Flurry Heart learns valuable life skills that probably will lead to a political incident.

Era: Far after Season 9.

Look what you just made me do, Muggony. I was not going to enter this contest, but your Gothic bonus point suggested this story. (Ref: Gothic sack of Rome in 410).

• Narcotics tag is for imbibing alcohol.
• Death tag is for described deaths of a chicken and a human.
• Violence tag is for described assaults on a chicken and several humans.
• Crude comment about the Pantheon.

Image icon of the structure is by Delapouite and rights to the image icon are at the link to the image source (by clicking on the image). I added the text, the lines, flames, and the pony in the image.... Romans invented Latin. The font's rights are at this clickable link.

It's been a little over a year since Princess Flurry Heart founded the settlement of Winter's Hearth deep in the unclaimed territory of the Frozen North, and in that time she and her subjects have faced many dangers. But whether through grit or sheer equine spirit, they've survived every one of them.

So when the yaks of the Northwestern Tribes decide to declare war on them, it feels like just another Tuesday.

The yaks feel differently.

This story was originally conceived as an entry to Imposing Sovereigns IV, but I didn't end up writing it until several months after the contest closed. You can read the actual entrants to that contest here! The intended prompt was Flurry Heart/Strength.

You found my book in the library. Cracking the cover, you found me waiting for you inside.

My name is Princess Twilight Sparkle. I am trapped in my book and need your help to get out of here. I'd do anything to get out of here.

Please help me.

You have to help me.

Please.

Featured 2/6/24 — 2/10/24
Featured on Equestria Daily 2/9/24

Thanks to ScreamQueen3 for looking over and providing feedback on this story ahead of time!

Cover art clipped from Season 5 Episode 12 Amending Fences.

As a professional athlete, Dash goes to regular physicals. As an Element Of Harmony, she goes to regular magicals too. Soul examination is her least favorite part, but at least the patient blacks out while their spirit is in capable hooves.

Starlight Glimmer's hooves have questionable capability.

This is an entry in the Snippet Series, an anthology of old oneshots that I (and my good buddy Str8aura) wrote based around interesting pics I found. New ones will be posted every other Thursday for the foreseeable future.

Sometimes you really need a nice, big, juicy piece of meat to eat. Unfortunately, every creature around you has eyes larger than their heads and are friend shaped.

No animals were harmed in the making of this story, much to his dismay.

A goofy idea I spent an hour writing. Please enjoy.

Audiobook Version now available - Done by yours truly.

Twilight was never comfortable with the decision made on that day. After a decade of cleaning up the messes her predecessors had left behind, she couldn't in good conscience leave another behind for whoever followed in her hoofsteps.

Written for the Thousand Words Contest II in the Horror category because sometimes you just gotta.

Featured 6/27/23-6/29/23
Well, okay then

And apparently A dramatic reading by StraightToThePointStudios
Think that's actually a first for me.

Dee stays loyal to Mum, which means obeying all her Rules. Hide when company is over. Keep your sweater tight over your wings. Never speak the name "Rainbow Dash."

The problem with Rules is sometimes they don't help. Like when a scary purple unicorn shows up to ask Mum some dangerous questions.

Dangerous questions about Dee.

This is an entry in the Snippet Series, an anthology of old oneshots that I (and my good buddy Str8aura) wrote based around interesting pics I found. New ones will be posted every Thursday for the foreseeable future.

This story is a sequel to The Enchanted Library

Everypony believes in fairytales, right?

Well, not Rarity, but who cares about Rarity Schmarity because THIS story about Rainbow "Awesome" Dash being the first to find a lost princess of legend.

One-shot based on prompts submitted by Ko-Fi Subscribers. Prompt was "Enchanted Library but it's Dash who finds Twilight instead of Rarity".