• Member Since 25th Jun, 2013

Lord-Commander


Amateur writer and artist, Commander of the 31st Imperial Legions, and devotee of the Princess of the Night.

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Comedy 32 stories
  • Comedy 32 stories - 0 unread chapters Just for the giggles and chuckles
    Created by Lord-Commander
    - November, 2015
Found 28 stories in 50ms

Total Words: 471,328
Estimated Reading: 1 day

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Twilight has a problem on her hooves. An hour before Celestia was supposed to come to Ponyville for the Summer Sun Celebration, she's accidentally gone and killed everyone dead. As in, "dead as a doornail" dead. Now she's got to fix it before Celestia shows up and finds out.

Or, at the very least, make sure that Celestia doesn't know that they're dead.


Blame Blueshift for this.
Now with a sequel!
Now with a reading, graciously provided by Skijarama!

Chapters (1)
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This story is a sequel to Changeling Courtship Rituals


Queen Chrysalis attacked Canterlot, brainwashed Twilight Sparkle's brother, kidnapped her former foalsitter, defeated her mentor in combat, and conquered her kingdom. She kidnapped the sisters of Twilight's friends, turned them against one another, and tried to drain all of Twilight's magic. Queen Chrysalis has, at every opportunity, done her very best to utterly destroy Twilight Sparkle's life.

For some reason, this has not caused the pony to fall in love with her.

However, due to Twilight's misunderstanding of changeling customs, it does mean they are now married. Twilight eventually managed to tell the Queen the truth, but she forgot that whether it's a kingdom or a heart, changelings conquer.

And since the changeling way of conquest didn't work, Chrysalis is determined to try the pony way. The only problem is, of course, she has no idea what that is. But she knows someone who does: Princess Cadance.

Now, with the absolutely sincere help of her mortal enemy, the pony she once locked in the caves beneath Canterlot while trying to steal her husband on their very wedding day, Queen Chrysalis is going to woo the sister-in-law of that very pony.

Surely this is the most perfect plan ever devised.

***

Proofread by ShutterflyYay.

Takes place roughly after season five (so Starlight Glimmer is running around occasionally)

Chapters (12)
T

It turns out that Sunset Shimmer's final letters to Princess Celestia before her exile were not filled with resentment or remorse.

There might have been a lot more frantic running away involved.

But whatever the case, it was definitely not Sunset's fault.

At all.



Cover Art designed by Novel-Idea from my original cruddy screencap!

Rated Teen and Sex for mentions of egregious sexual irresponsibility. No actual sex.

Contains minor Sunlight shipping. Much apologies.

Chapters (1)
T
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For years, Twilight Sparkle and Queen Chrysalis have been at each other's throats. Both have experienced victory over the other, and both have experienced defeat. Out of all the creatures in Equestria, none despise each other the way the pony Princess and changeling Queen do. They seemed destined to remain locked in battle forever, or at least until one is finally dead at the hooves of the other. The cruel insults, the vicious loathing, and the powerful spells that have passed back and forth between them at each meeting have become the stuff of legend.

Imagine Twilight's surprise when she finds out changelings consider this dating.

And now they're married.

***

Sequel: Pony Courtship Rituals

***

Some beautiful fanart of the end of chapter three was done by Dmann892; you can see it here.

More awesome fanart, this time from chapter one.

Now with a TvTropes page (obligatory TvTropes warning goes here).

If you want a Russian translation, you can find it here.

There is now a reading of the story on Youtube, which starts here.

Chapters (8)
E

In order to improve their skills at detecting changeling infiltrators, Twilight Sparkle and the Council of Friendship ask their new friend Thorax to help them with a little training exercise. Their goal? Figure out which of their six friends is actually Thorax in disguise.

Dialogue heavy, as this story focuses on the cross-interrogation of the game itself.

Note: This story takes place before "To Where and Back Again."

Chapters (9)
E

When one's genetic template is overwritten, there tend to be... side effects. Most of the side effects come into play immediately.

Sometimes, though, one has to live with a new biochemistry for a while before it triggers.

It's actually very well documented.

Written for FTP13. Cover art by cheezedoodle96.

Chapters (1)
T
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The day after she swears off her petty, villainous ways, Starlight Glimmer is finally ready for her very first friendship lesson! To mark this grand occasion, Twilight decides a walk through town is in order to let her new student make some friends the right way.

It turns out that Starlight Glimmer is exceedingly bad at making friends the right way.



Many thanks to Syeekoh and Kamikakushi for taking a big one and prereading this for me.

Chapters (1)
E
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Scootaloo's an orphan, let's get that fact out of the way. She lives in a cardboard box and it's rad as heck.

She also does other orphan stuff.

I'unno.


Big ups to Norse Pony for his editing work.

Chapters (1)
E

A reader's poll in Equestria's leading newspaper rates the Princesses by approval ratings.

OOC meta humor ensues as the four discuss the findings.

Pre-read by RT Stephens, MythrilMoth, and The Albinocorn.

Chapters (1)
T

So it's finally happened. After being kicked in the shin by Celestia, Discord is officially dying. Now Celestia wants to know if he has any last requests before he goes.

What a silly, silly thing of her to ask.

Chapters (1)