Caffeine withdrawal can do terrible things to a pony.

Even in the Grim Darkness of the Far Future, where there is only Epic Pony War, and an eternity of (s)laughter, clopping, and the gnashing of feasting trolls… few horrors can compare to what Lord-Commissar Nutmeg of the Equestrian Guard would unleash upon anything impeding his quest for a morning cup of recaf.

To be a pony in the 41st Millennium is to live in a regime that declares itself 20% cooler than any other imaginable, as mighty battle-fleets cross the hate-infested miasma of the dimension of the Everfree in the name of the Alicorn Princesses. And yet, it is a regime where both magical and scientific knowledge have dwindled during the Royal Sisters’ long confinement to the Equestrian Throne, an arcane relic from the Age of Harmony, where a thousand cakes are sacrificed every day so that They may never truly die.

But to stand between a pony and his daily caffeine-fix is to forget all hope of peace and understanding, and to face the full might of the Royal Sisters’ inexhaustible armies: the Space Mareines, an elite cadre of bio-engineered super equines; the Equestrian Guard; their numerous comrades-in-hoof; the ever-vigilant Alicorn Inquisition; the tech-ponies of the Equestris Marecanicus; the—

+++Error, code corrupt, purging data feed+++

+++End Transmission+++

Many thanks to CoffeeMinion for both inspiration, editing, and the gratuitous use of his OC, Nutmeg.

Dobbin's been sneaking bites from the National Strategic Wheatgrass Reserve again ... and it finally occurs to his parole officer to wonder why Equestria has one. She asks Princess Celestia for the story.

It turns out there are some things ponies weren't meant to know.

A bunch of Writeoff Association authors got bored while waiting for the October 2015 prompt, and did a silly collaborative story jam on the Writeoff thread. This was the result. This story was co-written by myself, Georg, Not_A_Hat, CoffeeMinion, and Morning Sun, based on an unintentional prompt by Monokeras. (You can see who wrote what at the source thread.)

* * *

Reviewed by City of Doors! (what)

Featured by Equestria Daily! (what)

Recommended by Present Perfect! "I'm with Parade Rest: What."

After witnessing the collateral damage of a secret war that has been fought for generations, Twilight will finally discover the truth behind it. A truth that is far different than anything she could have imagined.

Some enemies of Celestia are hulking abominations, others are mad deities, but a few are just persistent.

Write-off entry for the * Princess Not Included round.

Now with reading by Midnight29

This story occurs in the aftermath of "No Second Prances."

Be forewarned before reading further that this story contains spoilers for that episode.

After Trixie's magic show, Twilight seemed satisfied with the results of her endeavors. Starlight had a new friend, Trixie was no longer a solo show, everything was going well... right?

When Celestia hears how Twilight handled things, she has some choice words for her former student.

Special thanks to CoffeeMinion for his editing prowess, and for helping me to prevent the story from going even further down the dark hole I had found.

[Part of my Aberrant Harmony Universe]: No need to read any of the novels to enjoy this though.

Ever since they began dating, Discord felt an undeniable connection with Twilight: intellectually, emotionally, magically, and even spiritually. But they never considered the other factor: could a Draconequus and a pony ever find a physical connection?

Set before Twilight gets her castle. Contains AU headcanon and backstory from my Aberrant Harmony universe.

Pre-reading graciously provided by my good buddy, CoffeeMinion. Thanks a million!

Full cover link here! Cover art a V-day commission by Zee-Dee. Check her out on deviantart!

Update: 1/19/19 Story is still on hiatus. Too many current projects to resurrect this guy just yet. I completed my other MLP40K fic, I Love the Smell of Friendship in the Morning, but I have started some other fics I now need to complete. More updates as they come.

The Most Holy Alicorn Inquisition of the Royal Pony Sisters is all that stands against threats to Ponykind that come from within.

Newly promoted, Interrogator Tracks is dispatched with co-agents Free Fall, Devoid, Able Body, and Pinion to the hive world of Abyssinian Prime. Their mission is seemingly routine; they are to wrap up the loose ends of a decades-long investigation.

Shortly after landing they discover a new lead that brings some fresh life to the case and the Inquisition agents soon find themselves fighting for their very lives. Outnumbered, under-equipped, and stranded by their only ride off the planet, their only hope lies in the friendships they have made since planet-fall.

Note: This is a blatant mixing of two genres that you generally think wouldn't mix, MLP and the grimdarkness of the grimdark future of the grimdark Warhammer 40k... Grimdark.

This fic also does not jump into mainstream combat that one would see in the tabletop minis game. It is more based on the Dark Heresy setting, the likes of Dan Abnett's inquisitor books.

As for content, while I steer clear of gratuitous gore and foul language, the themes are dark. Ponies can be severely harmed or even die. I'm not a fan of foul language, so you likely won't find any that hasn't been ponified or glossed over.

Please feel free to leave comments, especially if you're going to thumbs down, so that I might figure out how to improve my work.

Special Thanks to my editor, Coffee Minion. Without him, you would likely be waiting much longer for my unique brand of... I guess I can call it writing...

Thanks for reading everypony!

Rainbow Dash has a nightmare that she fears might happen... And to her favorite person in all of Equestria... She then asks if he ever will.

People who've read before published: CoffeeMinion, BlueSun52, LightningSword

What happens when Equestrian war planning is left up to the politicians?

Nothing good.

When a mad-pony issues a bombing run on Canterlot, Twilight Sparkle has limited time, resources, and ponies at her disposal to try and prevent the destruction of Equestria's capital, and possibly all of Equestria itself.

"No plan survives contact with the enemy." - Field Marshall Helmuth Karl Bernhard Graf von Moltke

If it wasn't already obvious, this is an homage to "Dr. Strangelove, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb."

Many thanks to SpookyMinion (aka CoffeeMinion) and Misternick for proofreading and editing this story.

Note: Story was posted for a story contest in Weekly Contests.

Moosetasm the OC (wrongfully called a Ponysona by many) learns of the tragedy of Princess Luna being trapped, crying, on the moon for 1000 years, and pledges to remedy this gross injustice. He recruits Sonata Dusk with the promise of unlimited tacos, uses her siren powers to break the laws of time and space, forges an alliance with the changelings based on shared love, and battles the incessant Communist threat of Starlight Glimmer, the only pony standing between him and victory. Oh, and somepony is wearing diapers. Just because.

Special apologies to Miranda Laufeyson for inspiring the world’s first “Sonata-Dusk-taco-diaper-changelings-need-love-too-Poor-Luna-on-the-moon-Starlight-communist-OCs-are-ponysonas” fic, and the semi-authorized use of her OC, Florian.

Special thanks to Coffee Minion for inspiration, editing, cover art, and use of his OC, Nutmeg.

Rated P for Purple

Now comes in reading format! Also thanks to Coffee Minion for this!

After the Battle of the Bands, Aria Blaze had no idea what to do with her sisters. That is, until a certain kind of guy shows up, leading a new punk band called 'Next Generation'. Aria Blaze decides to hang with them, and she then becomes a part of the rising punk band. She stands by Anthem Flare, and together with all the other members, they make the best punk band there ever was! And plus, the two grow close through an adventure none will ever forget. Proofreading by CoffeeMinion! Photo by jaquelindreamz!