Darrilon has proudly served Princess Celestia for many years, and risen to the rank of Captain of the elite squad known as the Solarian Patrol. But every day is a new challenge when your superior officer (and divine ruler) has no respect for protocol or procedure.

Lashona is one fine sassy woman living the dream. No debt, no kids, no husband, she's got it all. Due to forces beyond her control, she finds herself in Equestria.

And she isn't having any of it.

Nuh uh. No way, no how.

Hey look, YouTube readings! Start here!

What people are saying about it:
"Hey, RainbowBob made a new... Wait a minute..."
~Skeeter The Lurker
"Flint, this is absolutely f***ing brilliant."
~SpaceCommie
"Why would you even..?"
~Comrade Sparkle
"Flint, you can't release this...you'll destroy us all!"
~HAZESHIFT
"Totally just commented to see if I could get onto the list of things people are saying about it."
~Garbo802
"A group just for you!"
~wulf95
"Why the hell are there so many people in the description? THIS IS NEPOTISM!!"
~Vengeful Spirit
"this is gay"
~Regidar

When you’re as old as Celestia is, finding satisfying pleasure is a difficult task. And then one day, Celestia discovers a new side of pleasure she hadn’t found before and goes on a journey to maximize its potential. The best part is, her subjects won’t have a clue even when she's right under their noses.

A crack chronicle of pony x object stories. Enjoy the copious innuendo.

People who have helped:
DjNightmareNight (The one with no spaces in his name).

Spike pisses Twilight off at that unfortunate time of the month. The result is a battle in which Spike fights for his life, with all manner of random absurdity thrown into the mix.

The following is the result of when I try to start writing chapter 15 for Legacy of the Pegasi, and instead end up writing a random crack story to make my brother and I laugh. Be forewarned, this story contains gratuitous usage of foul language and references.

There's a plague infecting Equestria, and Diamond Tiara has taken it upon herself to cure it. They may be stronger in number and in sheer absurdity, but she's got a little something special to even the odds.

That something being a three-foot long magically enchanted samurai sword. Look, nobody said this was gonna be pretty.

(Written for the FIMFiction Writeoff Association's inaugural writeoff. The prompt was "Lonely Happiness". I got a bit creative with it.)

Twilight's friends may not be immortal like her, but she's not going to let a stupid little thing like death get in the way of friendship. Now the ruler of Equestria, Princess Twilight Sparkle discovers the truth of life after death: More life. Armed with this new knowledge, Twilight ventures from Canterlot Castle to find and befriend the reincarnations of her oldest friends, whether they like it or not.

Image used with permission of Heavens and Asteri

Feature box story of December 27, 2013. Thanks, everyone!

Becoming an immortal alicorn princess pony can be hard on a mare. On the one hand, Twilight now has near limitless power, but on the other, with great power comes great annoyance. Luckily that whole "near limitless power" thing kinda negates that. Still though, no one ever said banishing everypony to the moon would be easy.

Written for The Writeoff Association's inaugural writeoff, Lonely Happiness.

The war has gone on for far too long. To end it, Celestia just has to sign the treaty.

Go read the comments. They're way more interesting than the story itself.

Now with an audio version
Now translated into Russian and with an audio version.

"Suppose I killed them all?"

Book one of the De Raptura Chronicles

Ditzy "Derpy" Doo, once a humble mail mare, was elevated to godhood in a last, desperate act by Celestia moments before she and the entire royal family disappeared. Now the newly crowned Princess De Raptura must contend with the machinations of a court completely alien to her, reconcile with her daughter, make peace with Twilight Sparkle and learn how to control the sun.

And she's fairly sure she still has a package to deliver.

The story continues in To See The Light

Also available on Google Docs!

"This story differentiates itself from other 'bad things happen to Equestria' stories with its smart character work and realistic, powerful emotion. We need more stories like this." -Pre-reader who likes sky pirates

Short description borrowed stolen from FanOfMostEverything.