• Member Since 25th Mar, 2015

The Hat Man


Specialties include comedy, robots, and precision strikes to your feelings. Hobbies include hat and watch collecting. May contain alcohol.

Favorites 82 stories
Found 81 stories in 48ms

Total Words: 1,676,393
Estimated Reading: 4 days

Bookshelves

Community



  • Featured 23196 stories Stories that have been featured on Fimfiction ( Automatically populated! )


  • Interviews 408 stories Stories that have had their author interviewed


  • Reviewed 0 stories Stories that have been reviewed
T
Source

The Seventh Company of the solar guard should have left the town Grimbush to its own devices, but when a letter asking them to clear out a pest invasion lands in their possession, they have no choice but to oblige.

Disgruntled and annoyed, the soldiers march into the mire only to find something far deadlier than they expected.

Chapters (1)
E

Six years after her return to Equestria, Mage Meadowbrook still grapples with the loss of her partner from 1000 years ago.

Winner of the 2023 lesbian speedwriting contest.

Chapters (1)
T
Source

College is easy, most of the time. As long as you keep yourself fed, show up to classes every once in a while, and don't help your former best friend through a rough night of over-indulgence and then accidentally imply you're exactly as much of a party animal as she is, you're good to go.

But if you're like Button Mash, and you're dumb enough to do the third thing, you can get through it no problem. All you have to do is go out for fraternity rush week, pretend you're not a socially stunted dork in front of the hardest-partying guys on campus, and keep faking it until you make a girl you've had a crush on since middle school think you're interesting enough to actually be interested in.

It'll probably work out fine. And it definitely won't teach Button exactly who he really is, or who Sweetie Belle has always been, or what both of them could maybe be for each other. Because that would be complicated, and college is supposed to be easy.


A romantic comedy about college, identity, and discovering the second thing through the first one.

Chapters (15)
T

Pinkie's parents are missing, presumed dead.

Applejack is there to pick up the pieces.


Please heed the content warnings! This is a story very explicitly about grief, loss, and depression. Suicide is also an important recurring theme, and cannot be avoided!

Amazing coverart by my sibling, cereal (fimfic | twitter)

Preread by Otter and Sleps

For Bike's Applepie contest (folder | info)!! I love this ship and it's so so so rare, so I'm super happy to be contributing!

Chapters (6)
T

Ebony Dew has a friend that nopony believes is real.

However, she knows in her heart that he exists.

After all, it's his heart in the first place.


An entry for the Science Fiction Contest run by Bicyclette.

Chapters (4)
T

Sometimes, watching those we care about suffer can hurt more than anything.

Iron Will doesn't sit down and take pain in stride, though. He's gotta fight back. Like an angry bull. So when the ignorant jerks up at the state capitol decide to be idiots, he has to figure out a way to make things right again.

Only sometimes, there's no perfect catchphrase for the job.

First place entry in the Quills and Sofas Transgender contest.

My entry for the Pride and Positivity event. Please consider donating to one of the following charitable causes:

Cover art was a gift from a friend, applejackofalltrades! Thank you so much!

Much gratitude for my fellow Q&S members for their support/suggestions/prereading: applejackofalltrades, themoontonite, Undome Tinwe, The Red Parade, Silvermint, Bicyclette, wishcometrue, The Hat Man, Vis-A-Viscera, and Atom Smash.

Additional editing/prereading provided by ninjadeadbeard, Jarvy Jared, and Arkane12

Chapters (1)
E
Source

Ray Bradbury was a giant among science fiction writers, most remembered for his Mars stories. From Bradbury Landing where the Curiosity rover explored, to the many movies and TV shows that follow his writing, he left his footprints across many worlds. June 5 will be the 9th anniversary of his death, and I thought I’d write a small tribute to his influence on my pony hobby, as well as a farewell to the recent seasons of the show.

This is a tribute to his Martian Chronicles, where Humankind discovers a strange alien race who vanishes unexpectedly. Where have they gone? Ask the children and you will find they never left.

Golden Oak Library Picture credit to Gates McCloud on Deviant Art

Chapters (1)
E
Source

The young jam-maker can't really remember what his life was like before he was bringing his cart to the market everyday, but he remembers being distinctly unhappy. Not that sitting in the hot sun at a rickety old cart is much better. Through his conversations with a lively and persistent young mare, he may be able to have a change in perspective for once, especially when new opportunities come his way.
Assuming he doesn't fall into bad habits and forget about what's right in front of him, again.
The Princess surely had the best intentions for him when she gave him this dream, after all...

My submission for the Friendship is Optimal writing contest.

Chapters (1)
E
Source

The friendship missions are such a bore!

Yes, there are action, objectives, even magic, but I'd like them more like... quests.
You know, like our O&O campaign.
Those quests are really something!
And I bet the Cutie Map here would agree too, what do you say?

Everyone - "Discord NO"

Discord YES


Story written for the "Game Life" contest in the group Quills and Sofas. Thanks a bunch for all the reviews!

Now with a Sequel, Lost in Sidequests: Epic Loot!, from the amazing The Hat Man!

Image by Goattrain.

Chapters (1)
T

Bit is the first of her kind, a pony that was made from carved crystal and supernal circuitry. For many years she worked, obedient to the will of her master in endless repetition. She knew nothing else, not boredom, not satisfaction from her work, not anger or resentment or joy. Existence was obedience to directive, purpose fulfilled.

But around her, the world was changing. Her home wasn't Equestria, but the last surviving Crystal City, defiant to the Windigos and the imperial decree of Alicorns alike. She did not know, and could not care, how much the ponies of Zircon suffered under the rule of their king. But she was there the day those whispers united in a defiant chorus.

When the fires were still smoldering, she returned to her work. Generations came and went, and still she labored. It was all she was, all she knew, all she wanted. Until the day her last broom broke.

For the first time in her existence, Bit doubted.


Daily for the first four days, because Christmas. Updates Thursdays after that. Edited by Two Bit and Sparktail. Cover by Zutcha.

A story about finding the center of the maze.

Chapters (32)