Anon has a mare problem. A big mare problem. During the day, they treat him just fine. However, when night falls... that's where their inner desires rise to the surface and attempt to take Anon by force.

Note: A parody many horror games, including Five Nights at Freddies and SCP Containment Breach.

Warning: Silliness inbound.

By order of the high lords of Terra themselves, a lone soldier from the Death Korps of Krieg has been sent to the planet Epona to wipe out its Xeno population. Starting with Equestria, the Korpsman has sworn not to leave the planet until he falls or completes his mission.

However, no Korpsman should fight without setting up a proper trench first, and so the Korpsman must dig...and dig...and dig.

Destroying Equestria is going to take a while.

Celestia, the ever regal and gentle princess...

Celestia, who along her sister, rules over the land for eons...

Celestia, holder of unlimited knowledge and the power over the sun itself...

Is still a mare. And a very lonely mare.

She always wanted a foal to call her son, but she was a princess. Something desirable by many, approachable by none.
So what happens when Celestia finds a young colt?

Why she will adopt him of course. And she will love him forever.

Despite his cursing, senseless mumbling and apparent delirious mind.
Yes, she will love him, even if appearances can be deceiving...

Adam, the ever lazy and impulsive teen...

Adam, who wants nothing more than some peace and quiet, even if he's doing jack-shit to achieve anything...

Adam, holder of limited knowledge and power over his own laptop...

Is a pony. Or a colt, more precisely.

He was not always like that, though it doesn't change the fact that he is now. So, what will our human do in a foreign world, trapped in a foreign body?

Why he gets adopted of course.

And despite his cursing, senseless mumbling and apparent childish mind.
His adoptive 'Mother' will love him.

And why does her sister looks at him that way?

The sequel to this story: Sweetie Belle and the Quest for Knowledge is now available!

When Sweetie Belle finds a mysterious artifact of a now lost civilization, how will she come to terms with the wealth of knowledge it provides? It says it can be ignored, it says it will never try to influence her, but can an artifact of such power really be so harmless?

Book I of III

Prologue and Chapter 1: Thanks to TheOtherSideOfFluttershy for pre-reading and editing.
The whole story: Thanks to RaylanKrios for editing.
Chapter 4: Thanks to AuthorGenesis for editing.
Epilogue:
Thanks to Malefactory for editing.

While moving to her new home, Zecora find the strangest creature - a large, nigh-hairless talking monkey-thing. Seeing how it lacks basic knowledge on surviving in the wild (and that it's quite tall and probably good at manual labour) she decides to adopt it as her assistant. Hopefully, she won't come to regret her decision.

The Dragonborn, a legendary warrior capable of absorbing a slain Dragon's soul, and knowledge, directly, forever killing it. The Last Dragonborn had defeated the first, stopped the plans of a Vampire cult, and built his own lakeside home, before finally slaying Alduin the World Eater and fulfilling his fate. Now, after all the challenges he has faced, the Dragonborn is sent to a realm where Friendship is Magic, and there is no mead. Finally, to cap things off, he kind of... well...
Became a Dragon.

What's it been? 1000 years?
That's funny. It feels like much longer than that.

Let me tell you, being trapped in stone that long can do crazy things to a guy.
And when you were a little off your rocker in the first place...
But now I'm free. The leaders of this disgusting place trapped me here, and now they're going to pay.
I'm going to show them the real definition of insanity.

Trees shorter than they should be, buildings smaller than preferred, a world filled with creatures bigger than him, yet others are near microscopic from his perspective.

Trying to find out where he should fit in is hard, because he is not too small, but most definitely bigger than most. Once he connects to the dominant civilization, a whole new world of opportunities is revealed before him.

He will walk as a giant. He will walk with giants. He will walk alone.

Edited by Newbiedoodle, CheesewedgeFTW, Immortan Joe, and Silas

Cheating. It never leads to anything good. Hearts get broken, trust is lost, and lives are ruined. Unfortunately, even the best of relationships are not immune to it.

When it comes to light that Shining Armour has been in a secret affair with Rarity, it leaves Princess Cadence and Spike stunned and badly hurt. Leaning on each other for comfort, the two devise a plan to not only get revenge on the ponies that hurt them, but maybe even heal their broken hearts along the way.

Note: This fic was written during season 4 originally, so that's why Flurry Heart isn't mentioned.

Coverart by: Not Enough Coffee

Inspired by the album Two-Faced Charade by Famous Last Words.

A man comes to Equestria. It's nice. Rainbow Dash becomes his friend, but something's bothering her...

He seems to be hiding something. He's told her a lot of things, things he hasn't talked about to anypony else, but there's still something eating at him. So, she psyches herself up for a visit to get to the bottom of it.