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Access Granted.

The following is a chronological report of the acquisition, containment, and subsequent ██████ of SCP-7663. Be sure to read all gathered material thoroughly, in case of ███████████████████████████████████████████████████.

Experiment Length: ███████, 20██ to [DATA EXPUNGED]
Location: Site ██
Researchers: [DATA EXPUNGED]
Outcome: [DATA CORRUPT]

Note from Dr. R█████: "Hell, I know we get up to a lot of dirty business down here, but... Christ, this one takes the cake. Course, no one knew just what this would turn into, least of all ██████, the poor bastard. Whether you were assigned to read over this god-forsaken experiment, or if you just wanted to see what all the fuss was about, let me clear something up right now: SCP-7663 didn't deserve a [EXPLETIVE DELETED] thing we did to her. We didn't know that then, of course, but, well, hindsight's 20/20, right?"

Cole hated the world he lived in. He wanted to leave forever. And got what he asked for... Sort of. He did leave earth, but where he ended up was even worse. There were ponies, rainbow colored ponies everywhere! As it turns out, ponies are afraid of humans, especially grumpy humans.

Celestia decides something must be done to cheer the poor man up, so she calls in a professional.
Pinkie. Pie.

Can she melt the iceberg inside of Cole's heart? Of course she can! Pinkie can make anything happy... Right?

Note: the dark tag doesn't mean dark comedy. The dark tag is to show that, although this is mostly a comical story, there are dark subjects discussed such as suicide and depression. I will do my best to treat them with respect and tact.

There is no sex in this, just sex themes.

Editing by the wonderful OkemosBrony

Adorable Art by: Quere

It's been a year since you woke up in Equestria, memories missing, and settled into Ponyville. Your new, peaceful life is disrupted when, in a sudden burst of nervousness, Rarity declares your mutual love for each other to impress a famous designer! Now forced to act madly in love, the two of you begin to grow closer by the day. Eventually you can't help but wonder- is it all part of the act, or are the butterflies in your stomach you get seeing her face every morning real?

Spike the Dragon, brother of Lieutenant Shining Armor, arrives in Ponyville to oversee the Summer Sun Celebration. The reasons why he stays are far, far more complicated, and they all involve madness. Both new, and very old.

After a long trans-Atlantic flight Marcus T. Longbottom, a middle aged avid scientist, comes across an odd girl dressed almost entirely in purple in a London Underground station. His rather less than pleasant encounter with the girl winds him up as a casualty in a horrible accident. Then, a month later he encounters the same girl yet again, though this time things got weird to say the least; alternate universe kind of weird. Marcus finds himself trapped inside another body and forced to serve the Royalty of a land filled with nothing but colourful talking ponies and other magical beings. But hey, things can only go up from here, and at least the laws of physics still exist... right?

Rated Teen for swearing and mild violence. As a reference; if you can handle Futurama then you can handle this.

Worlds apart, Princess Celestia's dream comes into contact with a human on Earth. To her, he's a handsome stallion with a funny accent. To him, she's a gorgeous woman ruling an odd kingdom. As they go to sleep each night, they dream of each other and a bond develops that neither one expected, only to be tested as things begin to change on Earth.

Captured by your enemy. It's something that no soldier wants to think about, much less experience. Unfortunately for one U.S. soldier fighting in Equestria, that's exactly what happens. At the mercy of the ponies, he will have to resist their attempts to extract information from him, and hope that he'll see freedom again.
(Language warning for those who care.)

Many thanks to my prereader, Cosmic Cowboy, for letting me bounce ideas off him, and not letting me upload garbage.
Cover art by the awesome (and patient) Erindor.
Appeared in the feature box for a brief time on 10/11/2015. I have no words...

A thousand years ago, Celestia and Luna put an end to Discord's reign, freeing them from the Chaos Spirit's tyranny and securing peace for generations to come.

However, one knight, a relic of an age before Discord, is unsatisfied with his place in things. His honor demands that he repay the two alicorns somehow, yet he is frustrated by his lack of ability. His quest to repay them, however, turns to tragedy, as the magic he seeks has unexpected consequences.

If he wasn't a relic before, he certainly is one now. A relic that many ponies wish would just disappear...

MLP:FIM and all related characters are owned by Hasbro. Lauran Faust crafted them with tender loving care, please support the official release.

This story is an idea that I've had rattling around in my head for quite some time. I hope you enjoy it!

Mark was out of his league, fooling around with an immortal pony princess, and he knew it. To make life easier for himself, he accepted that as a undeniable fact. She would get bored and he would move on. He just didn't know that the great vain mare was called the Subtle Sun for a reason. And that her enemies called her that as an insult.

Princess Celestia didn't have a subtle bone in her body.

Currently rated T but I might bump the rating as the story progresses.

Now a one-shot.

Getting kidnapped by a black van seems terribly clichéd until it happens to you, and you get thrown into a spiraling course of events, which seem to make no sense and end up in you getting sent over to the middle of Nowhere, Not-even-Earth.

Nathan got caught in this situation, and now he must learn to cope with the fact he isn't home anymore.

He’s a gryphus now, and he’s a moron. He’s Nathan, folks.
Oh, and he’s now a cyclops or something, because I hate him.

Rated Teen for obvious language reasons, as well as some dark themes.