Dear Celestia,

If you're reading this it means my infiltrators are better than your guards. Boom! Point to Chrysalis. But seriously, don't take it too hard. Changelings are just naturally better than ponies at so many things. That being true, wouldn't it be a lot easier to work with us instead of against us? Don't worry, I'm not talking about another coup. I'm talking about a real partnership, an opportunity that you just can't afford to pass up.

Art by: NCMares

Being an alicorn is wonderful... except when it isn't. There are plenty of things that put a damper on limitless vistas of possibility afforded by such a long life: Court, mortal needs and expectations, the occasional decade of ennui.

And the dreams, of course. Agelessness comes with its own special kind of dreaming. Celestia finds that her own "Inner Court" is a bit too literal, and it--and she--are troubled at the prospect of a near-immortal Twilight Sparkle.

If only she could articulate exactly why that was.

art by spectralunicorn

Part of the Monophysite Quartet, which also includes Celestia Isn't Real, Have You Considered My Servant, Twilight?, and The Esoteric Rites of Darkness. All four stories have a common origin point in an old story idea I called "Monophysite" and touch on who or what Celestia really is in some way. They are otherwise unrelated.

After more than a thousand years of comfortably occupying the throne, Celestia has more than a few enemies. Every month, they gather to plot her downfall and commiserate over their past failures. For those fed up with the status quo and ready to see a change, the E.O.P. has ever been a home and respite against the slings and arrows of dull, predictable government.

Today, a new pony joins their ranks.

Equestrian Political Satire- Be warned! There will be discussions, debate, civil disagreement, and beer. Sweet mercy, there will be beer.

Cover art by our beloved iisaw.

Spanish translation by Spaniard-Kiwi

In the stars, a hundred years' journey away, the alicorns gather, to mourn, to mate, and to give birth to the new. They call to their sisters across the galaxies, and Celestia hears them.

Meanwhile, Dotted Line wants her to review tax rebate applications.

(2nd place out of 113 in the "No Regrets" write-off. Dotted Line is from "Whom the Princesses Would Destroy" by GhostOfHeraclitus. Picture by Earthsong9405 & AquaGalaxy, found by Georg. Reading by Super Trampoline. Russian translation by Doof Ex Machina.)

After a harrowing and dangerous quest, Twilight Sparkle and her friends have recovered Excelsior's Ecstatic Codex from an evil zebra cult intent on ending the world. The Codex, one of the greatest works of dark magic ever forged, carries within its pages a limitless collection of vile, twisted spells, all specially devised for anypony who opens the cover.

What do you do with a book of dark magic? If you're Twilight Sparkle, you put it in your library. Because that's where books go.

After all, books are for everypony.

Ted Valiant has been running the Valiant and Valiant detective agency on his own since his father Eddie passed away. When Twilight Sparkle, one of the stars of the hit show My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, goes missing, the studio calls Ted to find their missing actress.

Crossover with Who Framed Roger Rabbit

Top three reasons to always use hair conditioner:

1. Soothes hair cuticles for shinier-looking hair.
2. Strengthens the hair shaft and protects against breakage.
3. A unicorn will come and totally chew you out if you don't.

Now with a Spanish translation by Spaniard Kiwi!

Sometimes, I just want to write something silly. Or weird. Or just plain strange. This collection of those stories, scenes, one-shots and writing experiments that don't quite rate their own stand-alone stories.

Default tags are Random and Slice-of-Life. Additional tags will be added in the Author's Notes at the beginning of each chapter, as needed.

Coverart by one of my favorite artists, Lightfalls

This story is a sequel to Why No One Messes With Celestia

In the wake of Celestia's return to Equus, the ponies have worked tirelessly to prepare for the arrival of the Ascended. Defenses have been set up, weapons prepared, allies warned, but most important of all in the minds of both Diarchs, a cure for the Indoctrination has been pursued.

The Ascended, or the Reapers as they are known to the rest of the galaxy, are not amused. They attack in force, unwilling to stand by and let this small, barely space-worthy race of unascended quadrupeds neutralize their most effective weapon in their march towards galactic cleansing.

Now they too shall learn to fear the dark, and the Princess who controls it.

October 3rd, YOH 1501: In the aftermath of Twilight Sparkle's mental breakdown (shown in S2E03 "Lesson Zero"), a shaken Princess Celestia reflects on how close she came to losing her Most Faithful Student, and wonders where she herself went wrong.