There are rules for surviving in the Crystal Empire. Shining Facet knows them well, and only hopes her daughter can learn quickly. After all, they say that things are different now—but sometimes it takes more than flugelhorns and crystal-berries to heal old wounds.

Placed 2nd at the Write-Off round The Morning After

Edited by Dubs Rewatcher

After more than a thousand years of comfortably occupying the throne, Celestia has more than a few enemies. Every month, they gather to plot her downfall and commiserate over their past failures. For those fed up with the status quo and ready to see a change, the E.O.P. has ever been a home and respite against the slings and arrows of dull, predictable government.

Today, a new pony joins their ranks.

Equestrian Political Satire- Be warned! There will be discussions, debate, civil disagreement, and beer. Sweet mercy, there will be beer.

Cover art by our beloved iisaw.

Spanish translation by Spaniard-Kiwi

Being an alicorn is wonderful... except when it isn't. There are plenty of things that put a damper on limitless vistas of possibility afforded by such a long life: Court, mortal needs and expectations, the occasional decade of ennui.

And the dreams, of course. Agelessness comes with its own special kind of dreaming. Celestia finds that her own "Inner Court" is a bit too literal, and it--and she--are troubled at the prospect of a near-immortal Twilight Sparkle.

If only she could articulate exactly why that was.

art by spectralunicorn

Part of the Monophysite Quartet, which also includes Celestia Isn't Real, Have You Considered My Servant, Twilight?, and The Esoteric Rites of Darkness. All four stories have a common origin point in an old story idea I called "Monophysite" and touch on who or what Celestia really is in some way. They are otherwise unrelated.

Miss Cheerilee has always looked out for her former pupil, Pinkamena Diane Pie ("Pinkie" to her friends).

Hooves must always (always) look after his current employer, Roland Bertram Aethelnoth Whickers the Third, Viscount Astley ("Bertie" to his friends).

But when Bertie met Pinkie, something happened that neither the schoolteacher nor the butler had looked for.

Art: Giorgio de Chirico, "Oriental Horses"

In the stars, a hundred years' journey away, the alicorns gather, to mourn, to mate, and to give birth to the new. They call to their sisters across the galaxies, and Celestia hears them.

Meanwhile, Dotted Line wants her to review tax rebate applications.

(2nd place out of 113 in the "No Regrets" write-off. Dotted Line is from "Whom the Princesses Would Destroy" by GhostOfHeraclitus. Picture by Earthsong9405 & AquaGalaxy, found by Georg. Reading by Super Trampoline. Russian translation by Doof Ex Machina.)

At one time, Mount Olympus was the home of the Greek gods. Then they let the first pony in.

There goes the neighborhood

Editors: Tek, Themaskedferret, FanOfMostEverything, BluePaladin42, GhostOfHeraclitus

Cover art is Lady-Princess-Goddess by Cherryviolets and a commission for Mother-Of-Trolls
Now featured on Equestria Daily

Ponies have a strange attitude towards technology. They ride railroads and fly chariots. They have advanced hydroelectric power plants and light their homes with fireflies. They plow their fields on muscle power and invent crazy apparatus for squeezing cider out of apples. They use x-ray and parade around with spears. They play dubstep and listen to cello. They have indoor plumbing and grow rocks in fields. They like horse drawn horse-drawn carriages and take color photographs of them to show their foals.

These are the stories of ponies and their schizotech.

A collection of independent short stories united by the common theme of ponies creatively applying their knowledge and friendship to push the boundaries.
I do not expect this to be a regular thing, but this will get added on to in the future.

Once upon a time, (if the term even applies) two young ladies, (if that adjective even applies) decided to visit a magical land of Equestria, selected seemingly at random from about a million.

• One of the two is a time traveler deprived of her time machine, the other is an eldritch abomination out of her element.
• One would prefer the world of pastel-colored ponies to stay as it is, and can’t help but alter it. The other one is anxious to see how it can change, and can’t help but maintain it.
• Both believe that this is not their story. But while they disturb the delicate world of ponies, they don’t even notice ponies doing the same to them.
• Sandwiches are involved somehow.

There are many things this story is and some things it isn’t.

It’s not a fix fic, no matter what some of the characters think. It’s written in multiple first person narration, which happened for a pointlessly clever reason, that will eventually become quite obvious. It’s not a crossover, it just comes with an unhealthy amount of backstory. It could be a rational-fic, but since idealistic philosophy is typically not seen as very rational, it’s only a philoso-fic instead. It’s quite meta, in the original definition of metafiction: fiction concerned with fiction as a concept. In any case, it’s either a small monument to overthinking things – I’m trying to reexamine many fanon ideas here – or a digital paperweight, I’m not sure which. It’s quite a bit more subtle than it could be, and everyone talks way too much when they should be having glorious adventures.
I know how it starts, I know how it ends, and most of what happens in between. Readers say it’s a slow burner, but we’ll get there eventually.

Acknowledgements

With special thanks to my editors, Thainen, Shrink Laureate, and MitchH.
Further special thanks to ScarletWeather and Themaskedferret for valuable input.
The artist who made the cover image stubbornly wishes to remain uncredited, but thanks to her anyway.

Rainbow Dash asks her friends what they might want carved on their tombstones. Her friends tell her.

Based on the August 2014 prompt from The Writeoff Association, "Famous Last Words."

Rainbow Dash can’t wait for her first date with Applejack; they always have an awesome time hanging out, and a relationship just means there are even more physical activities they can try together. So when the dumb zap apple harvest postpones their date, she decides it’s the zap apples that are going to have to change their plans. Equestria should know by now that wild, ancient magic is no match for Rainbow Dash, especially when she might get laid.

Everything is going according to plan, until she crashes. Or, rather, until she wakes up after crashing and fifteen years have gone by. Fifteen years during which she seems to have been a very busy pony.

Now Rainbow Dash has to adjust to a life she never thought she wanted, and figure out if she’ll ever get to live the life that brought her here.

Update: Proofreading and formatting by RBDash47

Written for the AppleDash Group Contest prompts "Family" and "An Important or Memorable Date."
Cover art by SketchyJackie