• Member Since 17th Sep, 2014
  • offline last seen 9 hours ago

Orbiting Kettle


I've roasted a wealth of exotic things, All torn to ribbons at the hands of kings. Polished copper how I proudly shone, stealin' the fire of the blazing sun.

E

There are rules for surviving in the Crystal Empire. Shining Facet knows them well, and only hopes her daughter can learn quickly. After all, they say that things are different now—but sometimes it takes more than flugelhorns and crystal-berries to heal old wounds.

Placed 2nd at the Write-Off round The Morning After

Edited by Dubs Rewatcher

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 66 )

Short, sweet, and very relevant to current events.

The Iron chains may be gone, but the mental ones still hold deep and strong. Soon things will get better but for now, good picture in the life after the power shift.

I liked it
A bit confusing at times
But good

I don't get the artwork, but it's an interesting story showing the trauma that the crystal ponies had to fight through after Sombra's death and the new royals ruling over them.

This was a nice little story. A good, short read!

7770443
7770473
7771258
I'm glad you liked it:twilightsmile:

7771169
The art work was me trying to convey the shape of a pony with few lines, which should reflect what I also tried to do in the story.:twilightblush:

Orbiting Kettle, you need more followers than this.

Like, plenty more.

7771779
I'm (slowly) working on it:raritywink:

7771824
Also you are too modest. This wasn't "written for the Writeoff", this won 2nd place. You should display that fact, and proudly.

(Look at my recent fic for an idea how to be vainglorious about doing well in Writeoffs.)

That's an extremely good point -- namely, that it takes a people once subject to tyranny some time to recover from the terror it induces. A lot of popular fiction misses this point, because America and the Anglosphere haven't seen real tyranny for at least 350 to 450 years, and even that was mild by the standards of the Nazis or Communists. I agree that it would take many while to realize that Cadance wasn't merely a prettier Sombra.

I address the issue of the long-term effects of tyranny on the population of the Crystal Empire peripherally in Dancing Alone. My Moon Dancer travels to the Empire soon after its liberation and is surprised to see how desperate and submissive are the Crystal-Imperials, by Moon Dancer's own upper-class Canterlot standards. One of my premises is that Sombra's tyranny slew or drove out most of the old Imperial aristocracy -- most of those who fled wound up in Equestria, where they married into the Equestrian feudal families and are the ancestors of the modern Equestrian gentry (including Moon Dancer herself). In that continuity, the name of Sombra's mistress was -- the Lady Tourmaline.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Fucking brilliant.

That's pretty emotional.

7771860
I shall pretty up the description and bask a bit more in glory. I'm not used to it for now:twilightblush:

7771920
And even when those issues are somehow solved, there is always a heavy inheritance of other problems almost nobody touches, like what happens to the old guards. Even if vengeance may seem a cathartic experience for the former victims, it rarely makes things better.

Reconciliation with the past is painful, complicated and messy, and there will be much suffering before there can be peace. The moment the last gun went silent is almost never the end.

7772217
Why, thank you.

7772241
I'm glad it worked for you.

This is dark and messed up in the best possible way. Amazing fic.

7772343
When I read this, I was instantly reminded of Estee's story in the same vein.

7772471
Thank you:twilightblush:

7772633
That story has been in my To Read Queue (the most recent one) forever:facehoof:
I really need to read it now.

7772665
Well, like most Estee stories it has some soul crushing cynicism. I really liked it though.

7772669
I like Estee's Soul crushing cynicism because it's not gratuitous. It is a reasoned effect of the world and yet her characters never stop fighting it.

If it wasn't evident, I really like her stories.

I kind of wish it had been a bit longer, but it's a good concept that makes a whole lot of sense.

I would love to see this expanded into a longer story.

So, what was the prompt for this Write-Off you placed second in?:twilightsheepish: I clicked the link, but it didn't say.:derpyderp2:

7774092
The prompt was "The Morning After."

7773667
Well, the original story had to be at most 750 words long, so I already expanded it a bit.

I am also a fan of trying to keep things compact, to tell whole stories in the most essential way I can.

I'm with you on that the whole issue deserves a deeper exploration, maybe by writing multiple scenes that all focus on different aspects of the life after the horror. It's certainly something I'll think about.

7774092
What 7774487 said.:pinkiehappy:

7774487
7774587 I meant the meaning of the prompt. The subject your story has to be about.

7774695
That is free. The Prompt is an inspiration or a very rough guideline.

In my case I went for the morning after Sombra's defeat. Others went for the morning after a wild night, the morning after Nightmare Moon's defeat (or victory) and so on.

Th limitations were that the stories had to be between 400 and 750 words and they had to be written in 24 hours.

7774587 I agree, thank you for replying.

7774755
Well, comments are for discussion and talking about the story. Not replying would have been kinda rude considering I'm not flooded with comments.:twilightsmile:

7775097 True.
Also, just as a quick question, where did you come up with that name? It's a bit too specific to be random, it sounds a bit familiar too.

7775508
My nickname? It's a bit of a joke about Russell's Teapot and on that I'm not really refined enough to be fine China, so it became a kettle.

7775530 Oh, so that's where I remember that from. Wasn't that the thought that if there's no way to prove something there's no way to disprove it either? I remember it being in the context of religion.

7775683
It was used in the context of religion but can be more generally applied to say that the burden of proof lays on the person making claims that can't be falsified. So if you affirm something that can't be disproved, it is upon your shoulders to demonstrate its truth.

7775710 Ah, okay. Thank you.

7775758
Glad that my ramblings helped:pinkiecrazy:

At first, I couldn't understand this, but then I realized that when Sombra ruled, the guards wouldn't have been so nice. It would most likely take a long time for the Crystal Ponies to heal. I think you did a very good job with this story, so keep it up!

At least as good as it was in the Writeoff. Thank you for bringing it to Fimfiction. :twilightsmile:

And for those sitting at the table in the house
With the lamp lit and the plates and the smell of food,
Talking so quietly; when they hear the cars
And the knock at the door, and they look at each other quickly
And the woman goes to the door with a stiff face,
Smoothing her dress.
"We are all good citizens here. We believe in the Perfect State."

7779899
I didn't know this one.

Thank you.

I'm going to go shake in fear under my bed now.

Cool story, bro.

Whoa. What a nice story you've got here!

7781825
7781981

Thank you. I'm glad you liked it:twilightblush:

Whoa that hit the right spot, got my eyes a bit wetter then usual. :twilightsmile:

I think you're at least a Utah/Newell teapot.

…I hope they gave Flash wrong directions.

Writing is sound.

7882870
Must be the cold:twilightsmile:

7882920
I'm too full of dents to be easily mathematically described.

Great story. Sounds like Cadence might need to import some therapists.

A chilling yet saddening moment offset by a hopeful coda. Well played, Orbiting Kettle. Well played. :ajsmug:

If I had to nitpick, I'd say comma splicing is a common issue and can get kinda distracting. I suppose it sometimes works to give the impression of breathy nervousness, though at other times it seems to be due to simple error. I really am nitpicking, though. Emotionally and narratively, this one's solid.

Neat. I get it before I got it. Still, I like this story.

Short, well crafted and effective. I'm so very glad this didn't go how I thought it was going halfway through. My commendations to the author - that was bloody marvellous.

This was magnificent. You need more followers. Also: more stories and blog posts.

I've done my bit regarding the first. The other two, on the other hand... *significant look*

:pinkiehappy:

Seriously, though, it's a great story. It's a grim subject but you approach it without gratuitous grimdarkness which is something I absolutely respect.

You will be writing more, yes?

Please?

[[Also, I just learned of you, is there perhaps some story of yours you'd particularly recommend?]]

7883938
Who, at least a the beginning, will be met with an even worse reception.

"You are telling me you're a specialist sent here by the new ruler to comb my mind to se if there I something wrong and then fix it?"
"Not exactly, you see..."
"Everything is fine and dandy and we love Princess Cadance!"

But yeah, healing will be needed.

7883949
Comma splice is my nemesis and haunts me since forever. It was mostly intentional here, but it's possible one or two slipped through unwanted.

7884080
7884119
Thank you:twilightsmile:

7884159
[high_pitched_fanboy_squeeing]
Thank you for your kind words and the following.

Regarding the writing more stuff, I swear I'm working on it *pushes the pile of half-baked ideas, never finished stuff and a passed-out muse cradling a bottle of cheap gin under a bulging carpet*.

Working on it with discipline and all that jazz.

Regarding my other stories, I'm quite partial to Harissa, which has a setting I want to write more about when I have time. If you don't mind a bit of character destruction then The Wrong Side of History may entertain you.

Login or register to comment