The Cutie Mark Crusaders test the urban legend of writing to Princess Celestia at 3am. Everything goes wrong.

May you find many wonderfully atrocious grammar errors, if there are any o.o.

Having a pony roommate was an adjustment; there was a lot about Earth she had to get used to . . . and a lot of ideas she'd brought with her that you had to get used to.

She was a heck of a cook, though, and didn't mind sharing, so you were more than willing to let her have the kitchen.

And then you came home and discovered that she was making butter. Which she must have known she could buy at the grocery store if she wanted butter.

Now with a Russian translation by Mordaneus!
Ficbook
Ponyfiction

It is not difficult to grasp the notion that Rainbow Dash has very little in the ways of scientific or thaumatic knowledge. But, sadly, that doesn't stop her from having ideas. It especially doesn't stop her having ideas that are based on the assumption that she does have some amount of scientific or thaumatic knowledge.

In short: try not to be within ten miles of Rainbow Dash when she has ideas.

Cover art (and story inspiration) courtesy of Irusu.

Reading by Rainbow Infinity Readings.

Russian Translation by oranzinispegasas.

Swords, hammers, knives, pikes, spikes; even rolling pins. Princess Celestia collects them, and stashes them within her private collection for few to see.

Anon notices that a few of them have very… choice labels.

"Sweetie, Are ya okay? Ah took a medical kit if ya need help?" Apple Bloom said as Sweetie kept totally still, the pair in front of her making no move to enter the small cave.

"Please do not harm this unit." The voice was distorted, damage to the vocal box giving a metallic tang to the request. Both Bloom and subject 2 jumped back from the entrance, their eyes wide at the distorted voice.

"S-Sweetie?" Apple Bloom stammered, reaching for the shotgun strapped to her barrel. Sweetie pressed herself a little deeper into her hiding place.

>Updating survival odds: 37%

"Please do not harm this unit." Sweetie tried again, various subsystems starting to simulate the most optimal way to fight in her current state.

"H-Hey Sweetie, t-that's you, right?" subject two asked, sounding even more terrified than Apple Bloom.

A small Sweetie Bot story I had in the back of my mind and have occasionally dotted down things for for the last 9 months. Hopefully a fun read!

Cover Image Source

Now with physical book print!
https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/1037123/data-lost-physical-print

Ocellus doesn't like the way Hyaline looks. Neither do any of the other changelings.

She wants him to stop.

He doesn't feel the need to.

Princess Flurry's dates are not up to Imperial standards.

With thanks to various Discords for brainstorming and Samey90 and RDT for pre-reading.

Gallus T. Griffon, Captain of the Royal Guard, is forced to go on vacation by Princess Twilight. He and his second, Talon Tamer, sort out vacation plans in the showers.

Winner of the 2023 Quills and Sofas Gay Speedwriting Contest.

Canterlot Castle's Royal Guards haven't had the best track record when it came to doing their jobs as Canterlot's defenders. This hasn't gone unnoticed by Princess Celestia and Princess Luna.

When the sisters pondered the reason for their guards' ineffectiveness, Luna concluded that Celestia's motherly nature toward her guards – as well as all her ponies – had prevented her from ensuring they received the proper training. Therefore Luna volunteered to personally turn the guards into buff, mean, fighting machines.

That is, if the guards could survive what the Princess of the Night had in store for them.

Something went wrong with this year's cider.

Audio reading!