Princess Celestia is in your bed, and you don't know why: what do?

Cute, funny, and short. Have fun reading!

Proofreading by RaylanKrios.
Now with audio reading by CaptainBron3y
Second audio reading by MeloncholyIguana.

Based on this story:
Princess Celestia is (still) in your Bed
Princess Celestia Has Stolen All Your Bed Sheets
Drunk CelestAI Is In Your Bed
Fimfic Authors Are In Your Bed
Princess Celestia is in Your Washing Machine

"Humans.... Quite possibly the most infuriating mythical creatures in existence. If you ever have the 'luck' to meet a Human in your travels across Equestria, then you must be careful. Humans are extremely powerful creatures, some would say more so than Celestia or Luna, they are also more unpredictable than Discord. They can help you in a tight spot if you're lucky, or play nasty tricks on you if you don't hold the Human's favor. In my time I've seen a Human give a filly pounds upon pounds of gold, and the same one turn greedy ponies into gold. The only one I ever have seen 'face-to-face' was in my earlier years, he helped me repair my wagon when it broke down in Everfree Forest, by fix I mean a whole new one appeared not ten feet away, and the only thing the Human asked for in return was a spindle.... But be warned, never anger a Human, a trick or two in fair game is fine, but if you ever manage to truly anger a Human...... you'll be part of the small number ever to meet non-existence." - Star-Swirl the Bearded.

A silly nonsensical story, not to be taken seriously. Some chapters are not connected to others.

A horse appears semi-regularly. A magical horse. Mainly she comes to relax and take up space. She's polite and friendly but it did take some getting used to.

Still. Worse things have happened.

-
A reading by Straight To The Point Studio.

And by me.

Nature is a beautiful thing. That is especially true in Equestria, and you love every minute that you spend here.

Well, with the exception of one evening each year.

When good ol' nature says that it's the time of year for mares to be ready to reproduce, most have prepared more than enough methods of dealing with their urges one way or another. For most, it's about a week or two of mild discomfort. For alicorns, it's about six hours of uncontrollable urges and pure instinct.

And seeing as how you are the husband of the now-retired Celestia, you have every reason to fear for your life tonight.

There is no clop in this story, I swear.

Anon feels like there's no need to get up today. He's been feeling a lot of things actually, and that's why he has been spending most of his time in the library lately.

But today he won't be able to stay put, because at the incredibly important festival they've set up a mystical tent, that even magic itself compels him to visit.

You lose a bet and owe Rainbow Dash an ice cream cone.

A short one-off story from a prompt a while back.

I comissioned redruin to make a comic of this story. Check out my blog post or derpibooru to see it!

You love to cuddle mares. Mares love to cuddle you. One batpony mare named Stella REALLY wants to cuddle with you. This is in no way negotiable and your night may or may not be ruined.

Base artwork by Ligerstorm, sourced to his DA.

FANTASTIC reading done by StraightToThePointStudio (Thanks again!): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ojuquk9Md0

You're always stuck sitting next to someone for the whole flight...

Me? I got a pony with a fear of flying.

Cover art by KaoKay
YouTube Reading by AShadowOfCygnus

With time ticking out, and no other options left to them, the rulers of Equestria turn to the lone human in Equestria to save them from Chrysalis' plot.

Warning, this story contains discussions of torture.

One of the mane six likes mares. Anon took it upon himself to find out who.

Head Graphics