• Member Since 3rd Mar, 2012

Quite Quiet


I don't say stuff often, but sometimes I do.

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Total Words: 73,168,881
Estimated Reading: 29 weeks

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T

Baked Bean, an aspiring writer of questionable skill, has come across the perfect source of inspiration: the Castle of the Two Sisters. All it will take is a quick trip through the Everfree Forest, and a new world of potential writing prompts will be his for the taking.

Once there, however, he finds there's more to the Castle—and the old legends surrounding it—than he ever imagined, and an ancient law will force him to mate with all of the Royal Princesses...

...whether he likes it or not.


This story is an alternate take on No Nose Knows, so expect plenty of polygamous shenanigans.

Sex tag is for references. Ye be warned.


Edited by Zen and Ponies, Sipioc, Georg, and Spartanpony007!

Cover art commissioned by an anonymous fan and drawn by Apricalico!
Much thanks to Sipioc for the original cover art!

Chapters (7)
T

This story is a sequel to The Witch of the Everfree


Saddle Arabia is a land of mysteries and ancient legends, and Sunset Shimmer sees it as a great place to escape from her mistakes for a while. What caused her to flee Equestria, and can she find a way to prove herself and win back the favor of the ponies she wronged?

More importantly, can she avoid starting a war?


I'd like to thank all my followers, fans, and patreon subscribers. Without all of you, I'd be worse off in every way.

Chapters (18)
T
Source

Queen Chrysalis planned for months to finally take Canterlot for herself. Months of reconnaissance, bribery, and maneuvering to finally lower the defenses of the Equestrian capital at just the right moment. But while her stated goal was always to have enough love to feed the desperate Swarm, the reality of the invasion was something else.

The queen spawned thousands of drones, filling the sky with untrained warriors in order to marshal the greatest forces when the day of battle arrived. But then that day came, and they won. Now what? Most of those drones didn't even matter enough to earn a name, and so they will probably die unremembered. But at least one is determined to make something of herself in her queen's new world. She's determined to understand these strange creatures called ponies, and to survive the invasion no matter what.


Begins during a reimagined Canterlot Wedding. Updates every Wednesday.

Sponsored by TyrannisUmbra on my Patreon. Edited by Two Bit and Sparktail. Cover by Zutcha.

Chapters (49)
T

This story is a sequel to The Garden of Ideology


Nut, an unflappably polite young professional, is joined by Potato Blossom, his ward and pupil. Together, they have returned to Vanhoover, the place where Nut calls home. The city is a strange place for Potato Blossom, a filly shunned by her isolated, insular community.

Though he is an evolutionary biologist, or desires to be, Nut is charged by his professors to document Potato Blossom's integration into complex society. She becomes his project for university, a project that will have far-reaching influences upon his academic and scholarly future.

Plucked off of the farm, Potato Blossom must adapt, overcome, thrive, and survive in a city utterly hostile to her needs, wants, and desires. Vanhoover is cold, in both the literal and figurative sense, indifferent, and it seems as though the rains never cease.

Potato Blossom's survival means Nut's evolution into something greater... but what, exactly?

A tale sprouted in the Weedverse.

Chapters (28)
T
Source

This story is a sequel to Principal Noses and Ancient Roses


Baked Bean, fresh off his victory over the sirens at Canterlot High, is now eagerly preparing for the arrival of his first child with his beloved Princess Celestia while still attempting to perform his royal duties.

But old foes still lurk in the shadows, and Celestia's pregnancy may offer a few unique challenges as well. It will take everything Baked Bean can give to endure the coming storm...

Or maybe he just needs to provide Celestia with a deep-fried pickle covered in chocolate sauce and smothered in sauerkraut.


Editors:
Sipioc
Georg
Zen and Ponies
Spartanpony007

Cover Art:
Bean In the Oven by Sipioc

Chapters (31)
T
Source

This story is a sequel to This Nose Knows


It is recommended you read No Nose Knows and This Nose Knows first, so you know what's going on.


Baked Bean - the slightly broken husband to Princess Celestia - finds he must answer the call to assist Sunset Shimmer and the Rainbooms when an ancient foe resurfaces at Canterlot High.

Once there, however, he finds another Bean who needs help courting a Principal who is very similar to his own Princess ...


Edited by Spartanpony007, Sipioc, Georg, and Zen and Ponies.

Cover art provided by Sipioc.

Chapters (10)
T

This story is a sequel to The Last Migration


Accipio was once the largest and mightiest empire in all the world, with ten birds to every pony in Equestria. They swept from one side of Equus to the other, conquering and enslaving all that they found. But Equestria held, held even when Mons Ignis rose from its ancient slumber and drowned Accipio in ash. A terrible war was nearly the result, as ponies and griffons struggled for what little resources they could. Were it not for the desperate struggles of a few brave souls, surely civilization itself would've ended.

But the next generation of both nations rise with no knowledge of the past, and that's something that Equestria's Princess Twilight Sparkle cannot abide. The Migration War is transforming into myth right before her eyes. She can't stop the flow of time, but she can send a historian, to take down an accurate record of what happened while the players still live.

But as Contrail will soon discover, history isn't just in the past. Whether he likes it or not, he's about to be part of the story.


Updates daily for the first week while it catches up to my Patreon, then on Mondays thereafter.

This story was commissioned by Vilken666, feel free to PM me if you'd like one of your own. Editing by Two Bit and Sparktail, my enablers. Cover by Zutcha.

Chapters (22)
E

Sunset Shimmer isn't like the other Freshman in Canterlot High School. While so many others explain away the strange things that happen in their town, she knows better. There's an entire world out there, a world of magic and incredible creatures, one that she's determined to reach.

Careful study and preparation brings her to the portal in front of her school, at the last moment of its opening. Sunset doesn't have a clue what might be waiting on the other side, but she's sure it will lead her to the magic she's always wanted.

No matter what it costs.


Updates Tuesdays.

This story was sponsored by my glorious enablers Bitera and Sparktail, who also did the editing. I know I don't deserve it. Want one of your own? Drop me a PM. Cover by Zutcha.

Chapters (8)
T

When Nightmare Moon’s rebellion tore across Equestria, leaving a trail of blood and horror in its wake, Princess Celestia knew that merely banishing her sister wouldn’t be enough. Her army was too powerful, and too bloodthirsty, to be left behind without a leader. When she finally turned the Elements of Harmony against her, she didn’t just banish Nightmare Moon. She banished thousands.

Now they’re in a race against time, to find a way to survive in an environment so alien that every aspect of it is trying to kill them. They face suffocation, freezing, boiling, starvation, radiation, meteorite impacts, low gravity… the list goes on.

Nightmare Moon thought she should be the ruler of all Equestria. Now, in a world nopony was ever meant to survive, her abilities will be put to the ultimate test.

This story now has a hardcover! If you'd like one of your own, you can grab it here: https://starscribe.net/


Editing by the indulgent and patient Two Bit and Sparktail. Coverart by Zutcha.

Note: I intend this story to be as faithful to our current scientific understanding of the moon, and I’ve consulted for help with the aspects outside my technical purview. That said, I fully expect to make decisions that some may see as mistakes, based on their own independent interpretations.

I am a storyteller first, and I realize it’s likely I’ll eventually make a mistake, or an arbitrary decision to simplify the storytelling over accuracy. I’m doing my best here, but this isn’t a NASA white paper. Set your expectations accordingly.

This story was commissioned by Canary in the Coal Mine on my Patreon, feel free to contact me if you’d like one of your own!

Chapters (66)
T
Source

Mark Wells was a klutz, but even he could not imagine stumbling into a mirror that he had just bought at an antique store and ending up in a world of colorful equines, not to mention gaining hooves and wings at the same time. And whoever heard of green fur on a horse? Perhaps the great and powerful Princess that the guard was taking him to would have some answers because he sure didn't!

An alternative version of canon events with humorous twists. Written in collaboration with Airy Words.

Cover art by Mix-up and their DeviantArt account is Amalgamzaku.

Book One: Chapters 1–33
Book Two: "Further Off The Mark": Chapters 34–69
Book Three: "On The Mark": Chapters 70–100

Sex tag added as of chapter 32 but it's mostly due to talk. Actual sex takes place "off camera".

Chapters (100)