When we landed on the map table, I was shocked by the familiarity of it all. We were in the map room of Twilight’s castle. The roof was intact. Everything seemed well maintained and not abandoned. The air smelled clear with just the faintest hint of apples. The floor was… I leaned over the table to get a better look. The floor was a checkerboard of black and white squares that shifted between the two colors like a malfunctioning TV set.
I turned around and opened my mouth to say something only to see Twilight staring at me intensely, a forehoof vertically touching her lips. She glanced out one of the windows then back at me. Following her gaze, I saw a large whale, a blue whale I think, slowly swim through the air perhaps a mile away. As it passed, I saw it was wearing a purple mumu and strings of gigantic tin cans were tied to its tail flukes.
I faced Twilight again and nodded. Message received. Just don’t draw his attention for twenty minutes and then leave.
Sadly, we didn’t last half of that time.
Spike pushed open the door, a mop in one hand and a bucket in the other. The sunglasses made sense, actually, given how much light the floor was giving off. While Twilight and I both tried to ‘hush’ him and tell him to be quiet, he pushed the sunglasses up on his forehead. “Twilight? Princess Celestia? How did you get here? How did you escape from Discord?”
Black and white streamers spiraled up from the floor all around the table. A familiar chuckle echoed all around us. I sighed while Twilight facehoofed.
Spike looked between us. “Did I do something wrong?”
I felt a paw land on my shoulder and the familiar wrench of teleportation mixed in with a psychedelic light show.
Staggering a bit to regain my balance, I said, “I’ll never get used to that.”
When my eyes refocused, it was to see Discord frowning at me. Apparently, this version had not invited my pegacorn self to his house for a friendship problem. Go figure.
Realizing that I was perhaps doing something unwise, I ignored Discord for the moment and looked around the room, recognizing it immediately. It was the Canterlot Castle throne room, except all the stained glass now showed the same scenes but with Discord taking the place of every pony or other creature. Instead of Celestia’s throne, there was a low divan on the dais. The smug draconequus appeared on the couch with a flash, giving me a calculating stare. The back wall was gone, showing instead a view of Canterlot. An enormous potted plant slowly juggled what I thought was Canterlot Stadium, Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns, and Joe’s Donut Shop. Other buildings, parks, and sections of the mountain floated either right-side-up or upside down. The rearranged city of Canterlot shared the air space with structures made of gigantic children’s building toys such as brightly-colored wooden blocks. To top it off, the sky color was divided into three layers: pink at the bottom, then white, and a medium brown on top. A flock of glowing blue origami cranes flapped past as I watched.
In front of the distracting backdrop, the dais stretched across the length of the room and was filled with statuary. I recognized Princesses Celestia, Luna, and Cadance; Shining Armor; all six Element Bearers; and Queen Chrysalis. Most had looks of surprise or anger on their faces. None were in a pose that would be suitable for a statue, which led to only one logical conclusion.
I heard Twilight gasp on my right as she reached it at the same time. Discord had not been defeated by the Elements of Harmony upon his escape from his stone prison. Instead, he had returned the favor to anypony he considered a threat. And now Twilight and I were right in his crosshairs.
There were two ways I could think of to play this. Even without my regulating band, I knew brute force was a losing bet. That left one more option: try to keep him off balance until something better came to mind. I smiled. “It’s good to see you again, Discord.”
His smile was much more predatory than friendly. “Moi? Oh, you are most mistaken, fellow chimera. We’ve never met.”
I smirked. “Prove to me that you’re not the Discord we know.”
He opened his mouth and lifted a claw but no words came out. Then his smile turned much more genuine. “Points for you, however—”
I waved him silent with a hoof. “Fine then. I’ll do it. Who shot first, Han or Greedo?”
Discord lips made a tight line and he tilted his head.
“Han did,” said Twilight. When I glanced at her, she shrugged. “Even I know that. It’s what establishes his character for the audience.”
When I turned back to Discord he was standing right in front of me, his nose inches from mine, images whirling across his eyes at dizzying speed. “Ah, how very interesting!” Before I could speak, he snapped his fingers and I was standing on two legs in my human form.
I staggered to get my balance. When I got it back, I saw Discord waving to the row of statues. “You’ll make such an odd addition to my collection, I just love it!” He held up his claws, ready to snap them.
I quickly said, “What, again?”
He paused and stared at me intently, then lowered his clawed hand. “Oh. I see. Well, lucky for you I make it a point never to repeat myself.” His gaze then moved to my saddlebags, which had slid to the floor when I transformed, particularly my left saddlebag. “Fortunately, you brought a suitable replacement.”
Twilight growled. “Discord, don’t even –”
I heard the snap of his fingers and Twilight was now a statue frozen with a glare and bared teeth. Discord hadn’t even bothered to look her way. “I’m going to have to settle for the alicorn version being sufficiently different from the unicorn one. Bending the rules a bit, but that’s kind of my thing, don’t you know.”
He grinned at me and clasped his paw and clawed hand together. “That’s your cue. Come on. You’re supposed to say, ‘Discord, you turn her back right now!’ ”
I had swallowed when Twilight was turned to stone, but I had my wits about me again. “How about, ‘Discord, don’t make me take out my secret weapon.’ ”
The draconequus tilted his head and dropped his arms to his sides. “OK. I’ll admit it. You’re just strange.” He narrowed his eyes and tapped his chin for a few seconds, then waved dismissively. “No, don’t let me stop you. I’m bored. Do something interesting.”
I nodded and opened my left saddlebag. I thought of Nyx and felt her coat touch my hand. I gently pulled Nyx out of the bag, holding her over the floor.
As the stasis field faded away, she blinked up at me and smiled. “Whoa! Cool new form, Mark! Kinda ugly, though.” She got on her hooves and looked past me as I stepped back. She gasped upon seeing Discord, who had a nasty grin and who was steepling his paw digits with the claws on his other hand.
Instantaneously, she had closed the distance and was hugging him around one leg. “Discord! Discord! Discord!” The draconequus frowned and shook his leg feebly in an attempt to get her off.
He needn’t have bothered. She zoomed in front of the petrified Twilight and let out another gasp. “This is soooooooo cooooool! It looks just like mom!”
Discord got his composure back and held up his clawed hand. “Would you like to see how I did it?”
Before Nyx could answer, I interrupted. “Nyx, is there a trick you can show Mr. Discord first?”
She pulled her lips to the side for a second then beamed. “Yes! Yes! Yes!” Nyx bounced on her hooves to punctuate each word. The foal then took a deep breath, held it, and squeezed her eyes shut.
Discord turned to me and cocked his head, hand still upraised. I ignored him and folded my arms across my chest. After several seconds, hundreds of small orange tubes sprouted from all over the little alicorn’s body, slowly growing until they were a few inches long. Nyx’s eyes scrunched even tighter and the new appendages wiggled around slightly like neon worms.
Her breath left her explosively and the illusion disappeared with it. She beamed up at the draconequus. “So whaddya think?”
“Absolutely hideous,” he replied. “Orange is just not your color.”
The foal laughed freely. “I know, right!” She looked past Discord and gasped again. “Did you do all that to the outside? That is so awesome!”
Discord blinked and hesitated. “Ummm…”
Nyx opened her wings. “I gotta go see this! See you later! Bye!” She shot over the two of us, past the row of statues and banked out of sight.
I elbowed Discord in the side. “Had no idea that was going to happen, did you?”
“None whatsoever.” He turned to look at me and rolled his eyes. “So now you try to convince me to see the error of my ways? Some friendship-flavored attempt to appeal to my better nature which I tragically left in the dentist waiting room?”
“Nope.” I smiled. “Now we have cucumber sandwiches and tea.” I then noticed how parts of me were colder than they should be. “Oh, and … uh … if you wouldn't mind whipping up some clothes for me?”
One snap later, I was wearing black pajamas that felt like silk. I looked down and tented out the fabric of my top. A silkscreened image of a happily smiling Discord stared back at me. I lifted my gaze to see Discord already seated in mid-air with his feet on the ground. A simple wooden chair spun across the floor to stop positioned directly beneath him. I felt a blow on the back of my knees, and I fell backward into another chair which marched me forward. A circular wrought iron table laden with a tea set and a plate of sandwiches rose from the floor to fill the space between us.
I think I did a good job of keeping my hands shaking to a minimum as I poured. Discord stared flatly at me as I leaned back, a sandwich in one hand and a cup in the other. He chewed his cup thoughtfully. “And now I’m getting bored.”
I smirked. “You know, I can tell you are not exactly the same as our Discord. You’re just….” I waved a hand as I acted like I was searching for the right word. “… less.”
The draconequus grew a second set of ears and they perked forward along with his original pair. “Oh? In what way, pray tell?”
“Less disciplined, less patient, but mostly less wise.”
He chortled. “And what grand lesson that unlocked the secrets of the universe does my counterpart know that I am not privy to, hmmm?”
I took a sip, swallowed, and looked at him steadily. “That Chaos and Order need to work together in balance, and you will be slapped down again and again until you learn this.”
Discord fell off his chair and rolled on the ground, holding his stomach. Eventually, his laughter ceased. “Oh, you are truly the most entertaining sort! You, the hornless and wingless Champion of Harmony, are going to defeat me! This is just too rich!”
I snorted. “Nothing of the sort. You have already defeated yourself. You are no longer able to represent the Spirit of Chaos that you describe yourself to be.”
His laughter ceased and he appeared as a miniature version of himself standing on my left shoulder. Discord’s voice was a couple of octaves higher. “Now that was just plain-brown-wrapper insulting! I am the embodiment of Chaos itself. I have—”
“Failed to live up to your station.” I finished for him then pointed to the statues on the dais. “What was life like for Celestia yesterday? And the day before that? How was it different?” The miniature Discord on my shoulder scowled. I ignored the cuteness of it and continued. “And let's look outside, shall we?”
I stood up and stepped closer to the dais to better see the view of the mixed up city and skyline. “I see a city that has been rearranged into islands with some things right-side-up and others upside-down. Plus easily-recognized items and parts of items arranged in a colorful and eye-catching way.” I stared at the creature on my shoulder. “And what will I see tomorrow? Some parts of the city right-side-up and others upside-down, with easily-recognized items and parts of items arranged in a colorful and eye-catching way.”
Discord let out an adorable high-pitched growl. “The pieces will be new, arranged in a different order.”
“Doesn’t matter. The general description is the same. In other words, you have become static, unchanging, and completely devoid of any innovation or true change.”
Discord rubbed his chin and reappeared in his normal size in front of me. He stared off into space. “I suppose… if you wanted to twist things around, it could be seen that way.”
I nodded. “And what happens to a Lord of Chaos when he stops being true to his nature?”
Discord glanced at me then held up his clawed hand. It was now translucent with some of the background clearly visible through it. He snarled and brought his face down to mine. “Did you truly think you could just wish me away so easily? I’ll just create some chaos by—”
I frowned back. “Of course not! Don’t be so paranoid. I’m here to help you.”
His head jerked back and his entire body was opaque again. His wide eyes spiraled in his skull. “What?”
“Discord, you’re my friend, and that means I put your interests ahead of my own. You need my help right now. Let me do so.”
He regarded me with a furrowed brow. “Hmm… For a moment there, I was certain you were trying to blindside me somehow.”
Nyx barreled into Discord from the side with a flying hug. “Oh my gosh, this place is just so cool oh look sandwiches!” She flew down to the table, shoved a couple into her mouth then surveyed the room. With a grin, she snatched up my teacup and flew past us. Her horn glowed and a field of her light-blue magic surrounded her as she sat down on the wall a few feet off the floor. She glanced up at us disdainfully as she pretended to sip from the cup.
I smiled. “Nyx, why are you sitting on the wall?”
She lowered her cup and cocked an eyebrow at me. “I’m afraid you are mistaken, Mark. It is the two of you who are standing on a wall.”
I let my mouth hang open in mock surprise, then looked over at Discord. All the color literally drained from his face to pool beneath his feet. “Egads!” he breathed.
“She’s right!” I said.
Discord and I rushed over to the same wall and made a big deal of being stuck there. I’ll admit the draconequus did a much better job at it complete with squishing noises and parts of him sticking to the wall. “Help us!” he wailed. “Help us, all-powerful Nyx!”
Her field cut out and she fell to the floor giggling. “You two are great!” The alicorn foal stood up and gave us a huge grin. “I’m gonna look around some more.” With a rapid buzz of her wings, she was gone again.
Discord tried to pull himself away from the wall, only to have parts of himself that had melted into elastic goo pull him back. He sighed. “Not very nice of her to leave us stuck here.”
I stepped away from the wall. “Admit it, Discord. You are actually happy now, for the first time in ages.”
Discord stepped out of the image on my shirt and faced me. “Oh, but you are mistaken, dear human. I am extremely happy doing whatever I want in this land.”
I shook my head. “What you are talking about is ‘pleasure’. It is pleasurable to do anything you want without hindrance. Tell me. If you woke up in a box and stayed there all day, would you be happy? My Discord would be.”
The draconequus looked down on me and frowned.
I continued. “The main difference between you two is that my Discord was willing to work for what he desired. He stopped being lazy and just snapping his fingers to satisfy every whim.”
Discord pulled off a horn and showed it to me. “But that’s my nature. It’s as much a part of me as this is.”
I shook my head. “My Discord encourages change in those around him. His friends accept this and value him for it. He also fell in love and worked very hard for a long time to have that love reciprocated.”
He tilted his head. “Who?”
I balled my fists, put them on my hips and beamed up at him.
I got a level stare in return. “No. Just no.”
I cracked up. “Sorry. Your look was priceless.” I then stared into his eyes. “I’ve already given you a big hint.”
At his continued glare, I glanced over to the table, which was now eating the tea set and remaining sandwiches.
“Fluttershy?!” With a flash, the pegasus’ statue was floating in front of Discord as he considered it. “Well… I suppose she would be the most accepting of the bunch.”
I grinned. “I wouldn’t be surprised if the other you is considering having foals someday.”
He blinked and stared at me.
I chuckled. “Or is that just a bit too much chaos for you to handle?”
Discord floated Fluttershy back to her spot on the dais. I had to make my final pitch.
“Discord, life for you in my reality is interesting. It’s unpredictable. You wake up happy. That’s something you can have here. All you need to do is allow these ponies to teach you how.”
The draconequus wilted a bit and stared at the statues arrayed before the two of us. For several seconds, he just stood there. OK, time for my second final pitch. “Do you need me to literally twist your arm?”
He snorted. “It’s no use. There’s no way they would accept me.”
I scoffed. “Are you seriously doubting ponies’ ability to forgive in the name of friendship?”
He chuckled. “I suppose that does sound a bit naive. Still, the Element Bearers will blast me back into stone the moment they are released.”
“That’s what my secret weapon is for.”
A smile started to grow on Discord’s face.
The skyline returned to normal. I was sure the same had happened all across Equestria. The throne room returned to its natural state, except that the stained glass image of the Elements defeating Discord now showed me in silk pajamas as the center of attention. I suppose I couldn’t expect everything to be the same.
Lastly, Discord snapped his claws and every petrified statue was replaced with their live counterparts. At the same time, I found myself in my pink maned Marklestia form.
Celestia turned and shouted, “Dis..” She paused when she saw me, then glared at the draconequus. “Discord!”
He held up his clawed hand with one digit upraised, the paw of his other hand on Nyx’s back. “First of all, I sincerely apologize for my actions. I take full responsibility for them and will do everything it takes to make it up to all of you and to Equestria. Second…” He rustled Nyx’s mane. “… let me introduce you all to Nyx!”
The little alicorn bounced in place and beamed. “Hi! Who’s the best flyer here? Who wants to race?”
“That would be me!” Rainbow Dash grinned.
“Three-two-one-go!” The little alicorn rocketed down a corridor, narrowly missing a dull gray unicorn mare that dived out of the way. A rainbow streak followed immediately afterwards. The mare blinked a couple of times, finding she was now the center of attention. She quickly scampered out of the throne room. See you later, Chrysalis. Better watch out, though—I know where you are ticklish.
The remaining mares and Shining Armor looked at each other, seemingly at a loss for words. Without the Element of Loyalty, their options against Discord were limited.
My Twilight fluffed her wings and spoke up. “Perhaps some introductions are in order.”
Discord provided tea and cucumber sandwiches for everypony, also conjuring up a long wooden table for all of us to use. Each chair was emblazoned with their occupant’s cutie mark, except for the one my Twilight occupied which also had Nyx’s cutie mark, which I thought was a nice touch. Perhaps not coincidentally, Discord’s chair (with a scribble for his symbol) sat next to Fluttershy’s and he doted on her during the discussion. The yellow pegasus was blushing slightly but her shy smile was constant. I counted that as a good sign.
I jumped when Rainbow Dash and Nyx buzzed the table once, but they were gone again before anything could be said to them. Only then did I notice that my half-eaten sandwich was gone.
Alicorn Twilight had just finished an abbreviated version of our background and turned to me. “Was there anything you wanted to add, Mark?”
I had switched to my pegasus form early in the discussion, partly in deference to the Celestia Version 1.0 model that sat across from Twilight and myself. I now smiled at the Royal Sisters. “First of all, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Your Highnesses.”
I then got to hear Celestia’s familiar melodic voice. “Mark. Call us Celestia and Luna. Please accept our deep thanks. Is there anything either of you…” Celestia’s horn flared and the sandwich in front of her disappeared with a pop. Two whooshes of air passed over the table in quick succession. The sandwich then returned with a flash of light. “… or the filly requires, please just ask.”
“Actually, there are two things. Did either of you recently receive a scroll through one of the mirrors in the portal room?”
The sisters glanced at each other then Luna replied. “We fear not. Mayhap we can travel there posthaste.”
Discord said. “Ahhhh…” He lowered his head. “I’m very sorry, but I broke all of them to prevent anyone from coming to challenge me from other dimensions. I will do whatever needs to be done to make things right, but I simply don’t have the ability to re-establish the gateways. Again… sorry.” He lowered his head and closed his eyes, only to give a surprised look at Fluttershy when she stroked his arm gently.
I turned back to the obviously displeased alicorn sisters. “Can you think of any message that could arrive by scroll from one of the dimensions that would cause you to leave Equestria immediately? A matter so sensitive that you would not tell anypony the name of the sender or the contents of the message?”
Celestia and Luna frowned at each other but didn’t share any words. Celestia shook her head. “I’m sorry, Mark. That simply isn’t enough information to narrow it down. It is possible that we were asked to deal with an existential threat elsewhere or one that could make its way to Equestria. Among these are beings and places that are not named.”
Luna said, “Mere supposition. ‘Tis just as likely neither was the inducement.”
I deflated a bit. On to topic number two. “Do you have anything we could use to subdue a rogue unicorn mage?”
This universe’s Twilight looked up from where she was studying a copy of Star Swirl’s spell. “I’m afraid the two options are to overwhelm them with more power or place a nullstone ring on their horn. We can provide you both with as many as you like.”
I glanced to my Twilight and she nodded. I said, “If we each could get two that would be wonderful, thank you.”
My Twilight added, “Unfortunately, we can’t stay any longer than absolutely necessary. We’re both well rested and ready to try again.”
Princess Cadance spoke up. “I’m sure I speak for all of us when I say we are sorry to see you go.”
The alicorn Twilight inclined her head towards her unicorn counterpart. “I think it is for the best. Besides, I suspect there may be someone who will be growing into new responsibilities soon.” She waved her wings for emphasis.
This universe’s Twilight blushed while Pinkie Pie jumped on the table. “I need to start the ‘Congratulations On Your Soon To Become An Alicorn Party’ planning now!”
We did take the time to ride in the Royal Carriages from the Canterlot Train Station. I socialized and related the stories I knew about the other passenger’s counterparts. Once again, it seemed only my universe had a pregnant Cadance. While I was hobnobbing, the two Twilights, Celestia, and Luna discussed Star Swirl’s spell along with Starlight Glimmer’s modifications. My Twilight had a few pages of notes by the time we arrived in Ponyville.
It occurred to me belatedly to ask my Twilight if it would be possible to replace the nullstone band that I had sacrificed to the nightmare creature. Unfortunately, I was informed that due to the difficulty of working with nullstone and infusing the homing spells into the metal binders despite the insulating material, it would take over a week to make one, time that we could not spare.
As promised, Rainbow Dash brought a very tired Nyx back to us as we walked up to the map table. The foal was already asleep by the time her mom put the stasis and temporal masking spells on her. After changing to my short-maned Marklestia form and placing Nyx in my left saddlebag, we waved goodbye to our new friends. Twilight activated the scroll and we floated upwards to the portal. My last sight of that universe was Discord surreptitiously giving me a wink and a thumbs-up while Fluttershy passionately described something of interest, complete with gesticulations with her forehooves.
When we exited the portal, Twilight put in action the strategy we had discussed just before she cast the spell. The moment we appeared in Cloudsdale, Twilight already had her shield up, her horn charged, and was facing the direction of the cloud I had pointed out to her earlier. Before I even had a good look at her target, she had loosed a bright beam of energy that way. Unfortunately, the cloud pinched just as Twilight’s spell got there: Starlight had already teleported away.
“Crap!” exclaimed Twilight, which shocked me a bit. That had to be the strongest curse I had ever heard from the alicorn.
This time, we never even saw Starlight before or after the spell blast that paralyzed Rainbow Dash.
We dropped out of the time vortex into searing heat and blinding light. The very atmosphere we tried to breathe seemed to be on fire. Twilight’s horn flared and a shield exploded out from her and swept over me, driving away the worst of the oven baked atmosphere. However, the temperature of the table under us was about to give us severe burns. We took to the air and hovered while we assessed our new situation. I switched to my pegasus form and sure enough, the smaller body and surface area could withstand the heat better than my pegacorn self could. I had heard tales that Celestia could walk on the sun, but if so, that was one area we were definitely not alike.
Twilight’s shield also cut down the brightness, reflecting light as well as heat. As it cooled down inside our bubble, we looked for familiar landmarks, but there was little to see. The only visible signs of vegetation were the desiccated and scorched stumps of some trees in the direction of the Everfree Forest. Everything else seemed to have turned to dust and blown away, leaving just dirt and stones. I didn’t see any signs of a township ever being here, nor of the lake that used to reside behind Twilight’s castle.
I looked over to my friend who seemed just as puzzled as me. “What do you think happened in this timeline, Twi?”
“I only have one hypothesis, Mark, and I don’t want to stick around long enough to test it out,” she replied nervously.
“Spit it out, Sparkles. I’m a big pony now.”
“Here’s a hint then. What kind of world did we end up in after our first jump back to the present?”
I thought about it – Nightmare Moon had made the night eternal, depriving Equestria of the vital warmth of the sun. But what if the reverse was true? While the Celestia I had been taught to know had always been beneficent, if not a little self-absorbed when she was younger, what would happen if she was the one corrupted instead of Luna? Eternal day? I shuddered. Experience told me that it was all too possible.
“We don’t want to hang around if Nightmare Celestia reigns over this furnace,” I said fervently.
“I agree. The moment the map table has recharged, we leave.”
I nodded. Hovering here for the twenty odd minutes required wasn’t a strain, and I was sure that Twilight could maintain the shield for that long. It was the nervous wait that was causing me to sweat.
A quarter hour passed without incident before our luck ran out. There was a flare of light and then a brilliantly white alicorn with a flaming mane and tail stood nearby, staring intently at us with slit-pupiled golden eyes with umber sclera. Her mouth twisted in an unpleasant grin.
“We can’t believe it! We thought it was just another delusion like all the others, but it’s true. Ponies have returned to Equestria and an alicorn among them. Welcome to my domain! The domain of Queen Daybreaker.”
Daybreaker? I suppose that makes sense considering Luna’s corrupt form was named Nightmare Moon. At least we wouldn’t insult or provoke her by calling her Celestia.
Twilight replied, “We’re just passing through. A time portal spell dumped us here and we are preparing to return.”
The white alicorn’s face went slack. “Time travel? Time travel. Time travel! I never considered… Star Swirl …”
She mumbled to herself for several moments before her head jerked upwards to face us again. “Oh, but I insist that you stay. I haven’t had company in centuries!” She snarled the last word.
I shuddered. If she had been by herself for that long, there was no doubt that she had gone quite insane. Everything else must have died after the sun stopped setting and the heat became too great to sustain life. Unless you were the avatar of the sun itself, of course.
“We regret that we cannot stay, Your Majesty,” I said carefully. “Even if the heat doesn’t kill us, there’s no food to sustain us.”
“What do I care about your ephemeral lives? You will entertain me for as long as you survive, and I will make certain that you do for many days.”
I noticed that she said nothing about us enjoying it. She had even contradicted herself. We had to get away from this mad pony as soon as possible. I looked over to Twilight to suggest something, but by the expression on her face, I realized that she already knew how much trouble we were in.
“Stall for two more minutes,” she whispered to me.
Sure, but how? Logic certainly wasn’t going to work. So I fell back on trying to baffle her with bullshit.
“Queen Daybreaker, we are not here to amuse you but to confront you with your own failings!” I said sternly. Twilight gave me a ‘What the buck are you doing?’ look, but I continued on. “Your duty was to be warden of the sun for the benefit of the ponies of Equestria, but instead you chose to arrogantly wield your power for your own satisfaction. Instead of yielding the day to your sister’s night, you allowed the land to shrivel and burn, and your subjects to die. Daybreaker, I find you guilty of willfully committing genocide merely to satisfy your own ego!”
Not my best speech, but I was extemporizing under pressure. It did have the intended effect, although Twilight probably thought I’d gone crazy too. Daybreaker seemed to swell up and her mane grew brighter and hotter. It didn’t escape me that the strain on Twilight’s shield was increasing, and that was before whatever Daybreaker intended to do with her now-glowing horn.
“Who are you to accuse the Monarch of the Sun? Do I not rule by right of my power?!”
“Only one pony here has that right, mighty queen, and that is your true self!” With that, I ensured my body was facing her directly and transformed into full-maned Marklestia. “You have betrayed us!” I roared.
Crazy or not, the sight of seeing her uncorrupted self in front of her was more than enough to make her stop and gape in confusion. The glow on her horn cut out and she seemed to shrink in on herself. Her mouth and lips moved but no words came forth. I let her stew for as long as I dared before continuing.
“Instead of being the beloved ruler of a nation of ponies, you are a murderer with only ashes for company. Instead of having the love of family, you did away with your sister. Instead of Harmony, you brought Entropy. Queen Daybreaker, I condemn you to your just fate for what you did to us!”
Maybe I went too far, or perhaps she was getting over the shock of seeing her former self, but Daybreaker’s expression firmed. “Then you shall suffer my punishment with me, doppelganger!” Her horn lit up again.
“Hsst! The spell’s ready,” Twilight muttered.
“What are you waiting for?” I hissed back.
Twilight cast the spell and the temporal portal started to form.
“What are you doing?!” demanded Daybreaker.
“Enacting your sentence!” I replied as we were drawn up to the maw of the portal.
“NO! DON’T LEAVE ME A-L-L-O-o-n-n-e…”
Daybreaker’s voice abruptly terminated as we plunged into the vortex. I hated to leave the alicorn there with nothing but the memory of her crimes, but she was hopelessly insane and could have killed us at a whim, even if she regretted it later. This was one pony that we could not save. Would it be the same with Starlight Glimmer? I was beginning to fear that it would be so. But we had to at least try.
This time, when we returned to the future after another futile attempt to stop Starlight, I managed to almost fall flat on my face but broke my plummet just in time to save a bloody nose. As I dizzily tried to regain my footing, I heard a very familiar voice right beside me.
“Sweet Celestia! What happened to you?!”
I turned to find the source of my beloved Trixie’s voice and ended up staring at her from a few feet away and at eye level. That was very strange because I was standing on the map table and she was beside it. I looked down and realized that she was standing on just two legs – not hind legs – two very shapely humanlike but digitigrade legs. They still ended in hooves and they were still covered in her normal blue pelt which continued on to her torso with wide hips, narrow waist, and broad shoulders which had two very human arms terminating in hands. But from the neck up, she was still the pony that I knew with her cute muzzle and white mane. I just stared at the mare before me, utterly gobsmacked.
Trixie was not quite as tongue-tied. “My husband has been turned into an animal!” she wailed.
She rushed up to the map table and flung her arms around my neck and pulled me towards her, pressing me to her plush bosom. Did I forget to mention that she also had a pair of D-cup breasts? My muzzle was now firmly pushed into her cleavage and I was left torn between wanting to disabuse this Trixie of her misconceptions and motor-boating her boobs. As much as I had come to appreciate the sexiness of my fiancée’s pony form, I still had fond memories of one of my favorite human female features. And just to make it even more tempting, this Trixie was wearing exactly as much clothing as mine did, and I assure you that a cape doesn’t hide much up front.
Twilight spoke up then. “Trixie! That Mark Wells is not your husband! Give us a chance to explain.”
“What? You can still talk?” To my dismay, Trixie pushed me away from her sweet pillows to look at me closely. “Is that true?”
I nodded. “I’m afraid so, Lulu.” I used one of the nicknames that I only said in private and it seemed that I scored a hit with this Trixie Lulamoon too.
“Quark Tells – explain yourself!” she demanded.
“You’ve already used that version of my name.”
Trixie sputtered, counted on her fingers, then protested, “No, I haven’t!”
I smirked and said, “S-u-r-e! Anyway, short version – time travel and alternate universes.” I tapped the map table with my hoof. “This table is an anchor point between realities and we’re trying to get back to ours. Your Mark is probably in another right now. Your Twilight Sparkle too, if I’m guessing right.”
Trixie looked over to the alicorn as if seeing her for the first time, then back to me. “Trixie told you not to meddle with this strange artifact… the other you, that is. But no – you and Princess Twilight had to investigate it!”
“Sorry, Trixie, but that’s kind of my job…” I trailed off as I noticed other anthro ponies approaching, perhaps attracted by Trixie’s loud wails. I recognized each face. Every Ponyville citizen that I knew seemed to have a two-legged counterpart here, and every mare had a gorgeous figure with nothing less than C-cup breasts, all just as nude as Trixie. I suppose that having a full pelt was just as effective on a humanoid body as a four-legged one, but it was still extremely distracting. I was having a very hard time not getting aroused. Then along came something to quell my urges. A stallion.
And not just any stallion, but Big Macintosh – just as lacking in clothes aside from the ubiquitous yoke around his neck. What has been seen cannot be unseen; the stallion was an absolute specimen – everywhere. I looked away and saw that Twilight had noticed the burly stallion too. Her eyes had grown wide and her mouth gaped a little. I couldn’t blame her. Somehow, two-legged nakedness was a lot different from four-legged, even for someone who had never stood on two legs outside of Sunset Shimmer’s universe.
We were attracting quite a crowd and, for a while, we just stared at each other. A griffoness flew in for a landing to smirk at us. She was an anthro too and I was beginning to wonder if that was true of all the intelligent species here. I bet Zecora looked pretty exotic. I shook my head to clear that image and tried to focus on the situation. We had about a twenty-minute wait before the table would be ready to send us back to the past and it seemed we weren’t in any danger, so might as well entertain our audience in the meantime.
“Gather round, folks! Have we got a story to tell you!”
# # # # # # # # #