Princess Celestia was hungry.
This was an unfamiliar feeling for the beloved leader of ponykind. For centuries, the finest chefs had been at her beck and call, and even in marriage, the daytime diarch had access to the most succulent of treats with just a soft spoken word and a kiss. Baked Bean was willing and able to produce anything she desired, and he would always double the order since his cherished wife was eating for two.
But if the truth were to be told, Celestia felt a bit guilty about this arrangement. Her dear husband was twisting himself into a pretzel for her—come to think of it, a pretzel would hit the spot. Anyway, she was beginning to privately worry that she was asking too much of him, despite his constant attempts to satiate her every desire. For food, that is. Mostly.
It seemed to be cheating on her part. After all, they had met because he was trying to get away from being a cook.
It also didn’t help that Celestia didn’t know what she was hungry for. She had mentioned to Bean before laying down for the night that she was peckish, but his numerous snack suggestions had all been met with indifference. In the end, she had gotten into a gentle tickle fight with her husband, emerged victorious due in no small part to her access to feathers, and then settled into bed with the assurance that she would have a large breakfast in the morning.
Three hours later, her bladder had awoken her with an urgency like nothing else she’d ever experienced, so since she was awake anyway, she decided to follow her nose towards a stealthy midnight snack.
After taking care of the more pressing issue, of course.
She paused for just a moment when Bean stirred in bed, but she smiled and made sure he was tucked snugly into their quilt before silently moving towards the door. With the recent upheavals and changes in the Bean family, Garbanzo and Lima had decided that the family restaurant was long overdue for a renovation, and that naturally meant that new kitchen appliances needed to be procured. A timely convention in Salt Lick offered the Duke and Duchess an opportunity to look over all of the newest gadgets and gizmos for food preparation, and since Bean was still a part-owner, it was only natural that he and his wife should be included in the selection process. Tomorrow promised to be a busy day for both of them, and the Princess wanted to make sure her beloved was well-rested and ready for anything.
Besides, if he stayed in bed, he would keep the blankets warm until she returned. With the nights growing ever colder, she was grateful for the adorable yellow space heater that kept her warm and cozy.
Celestia then slunk to her door, made a note to have the hinges oiled when they protested about having to work at such a late hour, and slid into the hallway. Normally, she would have simply teleported herself to the kitchen, but Doctor Horsenpfeffer still had her on light magic only, and she knew better than to irk her personal physician. Besides, she felt a bit of a thrill at the prospect of sneaking towards her goal, so with a nod to the guards posted at either side of her door, she began to slink into the dark.
The posted night guards pretended to not see her as she tiphooved towards her goal. Every member of the Royal Guard had been a witness to at least one attack on the kitchen’s stores by princesses of all varieties—sometimes in tandem and sometimes with a faithful student—and every last one of them realized that these assaults would only increase as Celestia’s pregnancy progressed.
They also knew that if they valued their jobs, they would not interfere in any way, shape, or form.
“The night is calm, and all is still,” Celestia began to sing under her breath with devious glee. “And right now, I feel a thrill!
Staying silent, and out of sight,
Like a shadow in the night.
“I creep along, without a sound,
Alert to all that is around.
A tasty treat is what I crave,
And so the kitchens I will raid.
“I will not falter, nor will I fear,
Since my sister is nowhere near.
Some applesauce might do the trick,
Or perhaps a carrot stick.
A bunch of grapes, piled high in a bowl,
I will eat as guided by my foal.”
“As guided by her foal,” a trio of guards harmonized as she swept past them. “As guided by her foal!”
“Another left, another right, and now the kitchen is in sight!
Soon I will feast with no restraint, and my tummy will cease complaint.
“I shall not tell my beloved Bean
of what ends up in my whipped cream,
but whatever I eat tonight
will only be what brings delight.
“And now the kitchen is all mine! All the sweets will be sublime!
I may eat until the dawn, and my rice will have saffron.
Some cheese here, a large egg roll, I’ll eat it all with no self control.”
“As guided by her foal,” the guards in the hall sang as Celestia moved to the nearest pantry. “As guided by her foal!”
Having successfully harmonized her way into the storeroom, Celestia eagerly nosed her way through the options that now lay before her, hoping that something would be appetizing. Something sweet sounded nice, but not anything too sweet, or maybe something salty, but not too salty.
She soon found herself considering the options that were in the nearest icebox, and an idea began to form when her wandering eyes settled on a jar of pickles. Perhaps a few of those, with some of the homemade grape jelly that Wysteria had left behind, topped with a few snack pretzels and a healthy dollop of ketchup to give everything a bit of a pop.
The Committee on Celestial Pregnancy Cravings leapt in joy at the proposal, and the meeting was swiftly adjourned as Celestia assembled her ingredients on the nearest counter. She hoped Wysteria would forgive her for taking the jelly without permission, and she knew Bean would scream in horror if he could see what she was doing, but at that moment, she was too hungry to care.
A knife was summoned, and Celestia quickly sliced a dill in half with a smack of her lips. The jelly and ketchup were applied liberally, and with eager anticipation, she stuffed her creation into her mouth and began to chew.
The resulting explosion of joy in her mouth was like a hundred of Pinkie Pie’s parties being thrown all at the same time, and her tongue was the master of ceremonies for all of them. The jar of pickles was quickly relieved of its contents—gherkins, juice and all—and the princess grunted with pleasure as she gorged herself on the most marvelous concoction to have ever been invented.
Once the pickle carnage was over, Celestia slowly licked the ketchup from the corners of her mouth as she looked over the devastation. “It was worth it,” she murmured, her magic quickly returning what remained to the icebox. “Perhaps I can convince Bean that ketchup is not all bad. Or that it’s not all bad for me, anyway.”
Having removed all evidence from the scene of her crime, Celestia licked her lips once more and stealthy began to return to her bed. Her dear Bean would probably just laugh at her when he heard about this, but for now, she would keep it a secret.
* * ✹ * *
Baked Bean felt horrible.
Physically, he was fine. In fact, he and Celestia had recently received the happy news that his leg had healed enough to remove the brace, and Doctor Horsenpfeffer was confident that his continued physical therapy would restore most of the range and function that he once had. The good doctor had even suggested that Bean could take up some light jogging, and he was looking forward to burning off a few of the pounds he’d accumulated, especially if it would stop Celly’s gentle teasing about his midsection growing larger than hers.
No, this pain was an emotional pain, brought about by his own actions. He couldn’t help but feel guilty as he stood behind his cherished and beloved wife and held her mane back as she was forced to present a gift of her last meal to the porcelain throne.
Princess Celestia, the mighty ruler of a vast and prosperous land, reduced to a nauseous mess because of his actions. Between that thought and the smell of whatever she’d eaten, he was beginning to feel sick himself.
“I was really, really hoping I could avoid this part of the pregnancy,” Celestia groaned as her body gave her a brief respite. “I’m sorry I woke you, my love. This just hit me out of nowhere.”
“I was hoping you could avoid this, too,” he offered as he began to rub her back with his free hoof. “Are you feeling better now?”
Celestia gagged, and that answered his question. He continued to rub while his wife tried to empty an already empty stomach, and he gently pecked her cheek when she finished and sat up slightly.
“I think I need to ask Luna about that anti-nausea tea that she mentioned to Wysteria,” Celestia said in a soft, quivering voice. “I don’t want to be doing this for the rest of my pregnancy.”
“Me neither,” Bean offered. “Once I get you back to bed, I’ll go ask her. I’ll also have Trixie send word to my parents and let them know we can’t make it to the convention.”
“No, you should go,” Celestia said with all the firmness of an overcooked noodle. “I know both you and your parents were really looking forward to this, and I would hate to keep you away from them.”
“I can’t just leave you here,” Bean countered. “I’m the one who caused this.”
Celestia glanced up to him and flashed a weak smile. “I do believe it was a willing choice on my part, too. I knew this was a possibility from the beginning, love. Really, you should go. I’m sure Trixie could round up a hundred ponies to take care of me, if I asked. I’ll just stay here and rest. If this persists or gets worse, I’ll summon Doctor Horsenpfeffer immediately.”
“Are you sure? I’m sure my parents will understand. Mom especially.”
“Bean, I will issue a royal edict if I have to,” Celestia threatened with a slightly larger smile. “If you stay, you’ll just be sitting there, worried about me. I would prefer you worry while doing something with your family.”
“Well, if you insist,” Bean replied warily. “But I’m not going to have any fun, and I’m going to rush right back here as soon as I can.”
“I’m sure you will,” Celestia hummed with delight, leaving Bean to wonder why in Equestria he could smell ketchup somewhere.
* * ✹ * *
“Bean buddy!” Garbanzo called out as the royal carriage touched down, and he quickly removed his flat cap before giving his son a hug. “Glad you made it. I’m sorry Celestia got hit with morning sickness. Is she okay?”
“She seemed to be doing better when I left,” Bean replied with a quick hug. “I made some blueberry waffles and toast for her, and Luna promised to make sure Celly was taken care of while I’m gone. I also made her promise to send a message to Trixie if she needs me for any reason.”
“Oh! Forgive me, Miss Lulamoon,” Garbanzo said as he offered a hoof to her. “It’s good to have you here, too.”
Trixie shook the offered hoof with a smile. “Thank you. Trixie was not looking forward to tending to a sick alicorn, so I am glad you both have allowed me to come.”
“Sergeants, it’s good to see you too,” Garbanzo added. “But who’s the third one back there?”
“Private Lemon Tart,” Pokey replied. “She’s here to keep an eye on the carriage.”
“Ah! Good morning, Private!” Garbanzo called out, and Tart nodded to him with a small grin.
“Is Mom inside already?” Bean asked, and Garbanzo nodded.
“You know how she gets when she has to wait. She said she’d meet us by the ovens. Do you need me to buy tickets for you?”
“Got it covered,” Trixie said as she produced them with her magic and a smile. “The Great and Powerful Trixie was wise enough to call ahead. I have one here for the Prince, myself, and two Royal Guards.”
Garbanzo chuckled a bit while sweeping a hoof towards the main doors. “Always pays to be prepared. Shall we head in?”
Baked Bean smiled a bit as he glanced around the bustling stalls of Salt Lick’s convention center, and he took in a deep sniff of the air. One of the best parts of these conventions was the live demonstrations, and Bean was just as eager to see what new recipes he could pick up while helping to find new equipment for the Zuerst.
“So, are you looking to replace everything in the remodel, or are you going to keep some stuff?” Bean asked as he walked alongside his father.
“Your Mom and I agreed we should just replace everything, and if we can get a good deal, we’d like to get some new cookware, too. We also want to find a dishwasher, provided we don’t get one like that horrible Squeaky Clean unit that blew up on us.”
“I doubt that’ll be a problem,” Bean said while glancing around. “Where did Mom get to, anyway?”
“I’m right here, Baked,” Lima announced, making Bean yelp in alarm. “And I found a friend, too!”
“Mom! Don’t do that! I have enough heart problems with Luna lurking around,” he moaned, but then he smiled. “And hello, Pinkie!”
“Happy Tuesday, Bean!” Pinkie Pie said with a giggle as she rushed Bean and gave him a hug. “If I’d known you were coming, I would have baked a cake! It’s good to see you!”
“Good to see you too! This is an unexpected surprise. What brings you all the way out here?”
Pinke grinned sheepishly as she shot over and gave Garbanzo a hug. “Well, there may have been a teensy-weensy accident at Sugarcube Corner, and it may or may not have involved the Cake’s oven, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and a request to make a cherry pie that would be ‘the bomb.’ I kinda-sorta need to buy a new one, so I figured I should come here and find the best! How about you? You didn’t blow up an oven in the palace, did you?”
“My parents are actually looking to renovate their restaurant,” Bean replied. “A lot of the equipment in the Zuerst is over thirty years old now, and it needs to be replaced. I’m just here to advise.”
“That is awesome! I bet your restaurant will be even more fantastically great once you get it all done.” Pinkie bounded back to Bean and gave him another hug. “Say, do you mind if I tag along? I really do want to get the best oven for the Cakes, and I bet you Beans know what is the best of the best, since you cooked all of those super-tasty treats for Mung and Chowder’s wedding.”
“I don’t mind, but I’ll leave that up to Mom and Dad. They’re the ones who will be buying everything.”
“You don’t mind, do you?” Pinkie stuck out her bottom lip and began to beg with tear-rimmed eyes. “Please, please, pretty please with sugar on top?”
“I think you’re overestimating our knowledge,” Garbanzo said with a chuckle. “We’ve done a little research, but we came here so we could try things out before committing to anything. You probably know as much as we do, but you’re welcome to join us, if you’d like.”
Pinkie nearly exploded with her cheer of delight. “Thank you, Duke and Duchess Bean! I Pinkie promise to be super helpful, and to not get in the way. Now let’s get shopping!”
“Um, Bean?” Trixie slowly walked over to the prince, but with a glance back to the booth where Garbanzo and Lima stood. “They’ve been looking at that toaster for fifteen minutes now. Should Trixie be worried?”
“No, this is pretty normal for them,” Bean said with a shrug. “If you were the one paying for all new equipment, you’d want to take your time about the decision, too.”
“A toaster is a toaster. What’s there to decide? They should just pick one and be done.”
Pinkie gasped in horror, grabbed the assistant secretary, and went nose-to-nose with her. “Are you crazy?! Toasters are NOT created equally! This is one of the most important decisions the Duke and Duchess will have to make all day! They have to consider the size of the slots, how many slices of bread they want to toast at the same time, if they should get one with coils or burners, the size of the crumb tray—”
“Okay, okay! Trixie gets the idea!” Trixie peeled Pinkie’s hooves from her face and snorted. “I should have stayed at the palace.”
“Fillies and Gentlecolts!” A bombastic voice boomed out. “Right this way, right this way! Come see the latest and greatest invention in food preparation! Quickly, folks! It’s standing room only!”
“Oh, no. No way,” Bean said with a glance to Pinkie. “It can’t be those two again.”
“That’s right, folks!” a second voice shouted. “The Flim Flam Brothers have done it again! Come be among the first to join the glorious revolution! You won’t believe your eyes!”
“Flim and Flam?” Pinkie growled. “Those two crumbums!? I thought they were thrown in jail after you caught them trying to steal other people’s novels!”
“They entered a plea in abeyance,” Bean said. “Since they paid back all the bits they fraudulently earned, the judge put them on probation. I would like to think that they’re not dumb enough to try the same thing when they’re on such thin ice, but I guess old habits die hard. C’mon, we’d better go stop them before things get out of hoof.”
It only took a moment to find Flim, Flam, and their monstrous new contraption at the edge of the hall. The hulking, rectangular device had to be three times as tall as Celestia, with thick black wires snaking and weaving under large glass domes perched on tight coils of wire. A small, dubious crowd had formed by the time Bean and his friends had arrived, but all of the assembled ponies offered a bow and stepped aside.
“Ah, Your Most Royal Highness!” Flam grandly greeted as he and his brother touched their noses to the floor. “What an absolute delight to see you again!”
“What are you two up to now?” Bean cut right to the point.
“Why, we’re about to showcase the latest innovation in food preparation!” Flim proclaimed. “In just a few short moments, you will see foodstuffs cooked before your very eyes, and all without the aid of fire or flame! You will be astonished! Amazed! Astounded!”
“And this monstrosity is going to do that, somehow?” Bean gave them the doubtful glare that he had been working on with his wife. “I don’t want to hear it. I really don’t. You two just can’t help yourselves, can you?”
“Yeah!” Pinkie added. “This is going to be just like that cider machine of yours, isn’t it?”
“Your Highness,” Flim glanced to Flam, and they both removed their hats. “We make no secret of the fact that we have had a less than stellar past. You are wise to doubt us, but I assure you that we’ve mended our ways.”
“Repented!” Flam added.
“Seen the light!”
“And made the switch!” Flam picked up right where Flim had left off. “We’re honest businessponies now, and we’re honestly going to give you a show like no other! Just give us a chance, Your Highness, and we’ll prove that our Fabulous Food Fryer Two Thousand is legitimate and authentic!”
Bean let out a snort of annoyance. They wouldn’t be able to con anypony with him there, and there was a very small possibility that they were being honest. “Fine. So how is this thing supposed to work?”
“The Fabulous Food Fryer Two Thousand was created to cook any food both substantially and simultaneously,” Flim said with a grin. “By placing the item or items to be cooked here, on this lower node, our invention will heat them throughout their mass by means of the dielectric loss produced in them when they are subjected to a high voltage, high frequency field. Thus, we are able to warm the interior of the item or items, without impairing the physical properties of the outer layer, as so frequently happens when using an open flame.”
“And then you do the pony pokey and you turn yourself around,” Trixie dryly added. “That was the most meaningless bit of incoherent babbling I’ve ever heard, and believe me, I know how to babble.”
“Then let us dispense with the talking and move straight to the doing!” Flim replied. “Dear brother, would you care to do the honors?”
“Why thank you, brother mine!” Flam’s magic surged, and a large bowl loaded with ice cubes appeared. “A simple demonstration to begin, Fillies and Gentlecolts! In my magic, I hold ordinary, common ice cubes. They have not been tampered with or altered in any way. I will now place the ice cubes on the lower node, just like so, and allow the Fabulous Food Fryer to work its miraculous wonders! Flim, when you are ready, throw the switch!”
With a cackle of delight, Flim flipped a large and nasty-looking switch on the side of the device, and the crowd gasped when the machine let out a low-pitched hum, with some even stumbling back a step or two in alarm at what might happen.
The alarm turned into mass indifference as the ice melted, and one pony towards the front vocalized what they were all thinking. “Big deal! You’re using a hot plate!”
A few boos rang out as Flim held up his hooves. “Dear friends, I assure you that we have done no such thing! The lower node remains cool enough to touch, as my brother Flam is now demonstrating!”
That clearly wasn’t enough, and the crowd began to disperse with mutters of annoyance.
“Wait!” Flim cried. “What if we were to have our Prince help us with our next demonstration?”
“I’m not going to help you two swindlers,” Bean said with a deep scowl.
“Nothing like that, Your Highness,” Flim said as his magic produced three potatoes from a nearby box. “Your skill as a chef is well known, so please inspect these potatoes for any sort of tampering or modifications.”
Bean took a quick sniff, then looked at each of them carefully. “They seem normal enough, but you should really use Russet potatoes for baking. Pinkie? What do you think?”
Pinkie took one of the potatoes, looked it over, licked it, and then ‘hmm’d’ as she held it up to her ear. “Sounds like a potato to me.”
“Thank you, my friends,” Flim said as he took the spuds back. “Now! Fillies and Gentlecolts, you are all chefs of the highest caliber, so you know that to properly prepare a basic baked potato, it must be placed in an oven at four hundred twenty-five degrees for one hour. My brother and I will now show that the Fabulous Food Fryer Two Thousand can do the same job in ten minutes or less! We simply place our food on the lower node, like so, and then throw the switch!”
“I remind the audience that a mere hot plate would not be able to cook these potatoes in ten minutes,” Flam added as the machine came to life. “But with the Fabulous Food Fryer, your customers can have hot, fresh food in a fraction of the time! Imagine how wide your profit margins will be when you can deliver a meal faster than your competitors!”
“Trixie still thinks this is a scam,” Trixie said to Bean and Pinkie as Flim and Flam launched into a jazzy, choreographed musical number about how the Fabulous Food Fryer would fix all of a restaurant’s problems. “And I know scams like the back of my hoof. Even if it really does work, where are you supposed to put that thing? That’s gonna take up a whole kitchen by itself.”
“I don’t like it either,” Pinkie said with a nod. “How’s that gonna cook cupcakes, or pies, or any other yummy treats? There’s no love in it! Just zip, zap, here’s your food, now be on your way. You can’t be a good cook if you don’t take the time to care!”
Bean hesitated for a moment as the memory of the breakfast burritos that Principal Celestia had bought during his time in the youmun world came back to him, and he shuddered in disgust. “I guess this thing might be useful in a big city, like Manehattan, where you have a lot of ponies who are in a hurry. But otherwise, I agree with you both. Fast food is bound to have problems with quality and taste.”
“So, can I tell Pokey and Clover to arrest them?” Trixie asked with a predatory grin. “Trixie would love to watch the guards arrest somepony besides me for a change.”
“Well, that’s just it. They aren’t being dishonest, so far. If this Food Fryer whatever really works, then they have a legitimate product, and they have a right to sell it, just like anypony else here.” Bean paused again and glanced at the happily humming machine. “If they can afford it, that is. I’m pretty extra sure this thing isn’t cheap.”
“It’s not going to work, and they know it,” Trixie said. “They didn’t poke any holes in the potatoes, and even Trixie knows that you have to stab them, otherwise they’ll—”
A sudden pop interrupted the conversation, and before Bean could register what had happened, he and the small group were pelted by chunks of potato. A few ponies screamed, but after that, the crowd quickly turned itself into an angry mob and rushed the brothers while protesting about being hit by the starchy projectiles.
“Wait, wait!” Bean and his guard detail quickly put themselves between the brothers and the mob, and Bean held up his forehooves while Clover and Pokey flared their wings out sideways to hold everypony back. “This isn’t their fault!”
“But they made that potato explode!” somepony shouted. “And that really hurt!”
“That thing isn’t safe,” another pony cried. “Arrest them immediately!”
“All right, all right!” Bean shouted. “I’ll handle this! Everypony calm down.”
“There’s no way I would ever buy such a horribly deadly thing,” a pale green unicorn announced with a huff.
“Me neither!” another pony added. “C’mon, Twist, we’ve got better things to do.”
“Wait!” Flim cried out as the group dispersed. “Think of the time saved! Think of the profits you’ll make! Don’t go! What if I told you we could cook a five-course meal in under half an hour?”
The pleadings went unanswered, and the Brothers soon found themselves alone with Bean, Trixie, and Pinkie. The Prince of Equestria did feel a twinge of guilt for the pair, and he offered a sympathetic smile in an effort to ease their obvious depression.
“Look, I’m gonna let you two off the hook this time, since your invention seems to actually work,” he offered. “But make sure you stab the potatoes next time, to release the steam. You might want to figure out some way to cover what you’re cooking, too. That way, if it does explode, at least it won’t hurt anypony.”
“Our good sovereign makes an excellent point, Flim,” Flam said. “Perhaps if we could create a box of some sort.”
“A box with a window on the door, so ponies can watch the food as it cooks,” Flim added while scratching his chin.
“It would help if it was smaller, too,” Trixie added. “That thing is way too big.”
“You should really think up a new name for it, too,” Pinkie chimed in. “Since it cooks things fast, you should give it a fast name!”
Flim glanced to Flam, and the two of them shared a knowing smile. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking, Flam?”
“I think I am, Flim. It’s back to the drawing board time!” Flam grabbed one of Bean’s hooves, Flim grabbed the other, and both began to shake furiously. “Your Highness, we can’t thank you enough for you help today. Once again, you have proven your wisdom and kindness, and we will forever be grateful for what you have done. If you ever need us for any reason, we would be honored to repay you however we can.”
“I’ll keep that in mind, and thank you,” Bean said. “Good luck with your device.”
* * ✹ * *
Baked Bean approached the doors to his chambers with a great deal of trepidation, and he swallowed hard. The meet-and-greet at the convention had lasted much longer than he’d anticipated, and now he was several hours overdue. His guilt had doubled up on itself during the flight home as he’d thought of his beloved Celestia, fighting a miserable battle against morning sickness while he was enjoying a day out with his parents, and it wasn’t hard for him to imagine that she would be displeased with his tardiness.
“Celly?” he meekly offered as he pushed the door open. “I’m sorry I’m so late. Are you okay?”
There was no reply from the dim interior of his room, and Bean swallowed hard again as he peered around. His dear wife was standing by their bed, and she gave him a very serious look, without even the smallest hint of a smile. His eyes flicked to the nightstand to check how late he really was, then his gaze was drawn back to those stern magenta eyes.
She slowly crossed the room, her expression unchanging, and though Bean held his ground, he flexed back and withered under her intense glare. After a moment, she moved to within a hair’s breadth, and when she spoke, her voice was cool and firm.
“You smell of mare.”
She continued to move closer, until her nose was buried in his messy mane. She sniffed, paused, and then inhaled a deep, deep breath. “Many mares,” she clarified with her nose still in his mane.
All Bean could see was the brilliant white of her coat from where her warm neck was likewise pressed solidly against his nose, with the scent of bluebells and sunflowers flooding his senses. “There were a lot of mares at the convention, so…”
“You have no idea how much this makes me desire you.” Celestia breathed into one ear with a commanding voice and the tickle of teeth on the small hairs of his ear. “It makes me want to cover you with my own scent as a warning to lesser mares, so everypony will know you are owned by the Day,” she finished with a small nip at the tip of his ear.
“I take it this means you’re feeling better?” he whispered.
A deep growl of desire rumbled out of her chest. “Much, much better. Luna’s tea has removed all of my nausea, and Doctor Horsenpfeffer is convinced that there is nothing amiss.
“So here is what will happen now,” she continued as she pulled back and gave him a devious grin. “As ‘punishment’ for your tardiness, you will now spend the evening attending to my desires. In return, I promise that you will be given a most generous reward that will last for several hours.”
“I think I can live with that,” he said with a waggle of his eyebrows. “And what is my Princess’ first command?”
“You shall cook a meal for me,” she whispered. “I am famished.”
Bean retreated slightly and pouted. “Really? I mean, you don’t want to, y’know…”
“Oh, you’re going to have to earn that tonight.” Celestia stood at her full height and grinned like a mad mare. “If your cooking pleases me, I might indulge you.”
Bean smiled. “I accept your challenge. How do you feel about baked potatoes?”
* * ✹ * *
They invented the microwave, didn't they.
9976348
They need to be careful. Microwaves were literally created by accident while they were researching death rays (true story.) (The death rays didn’t work out, but we got radar and microwaves instead.) Unshielded microwave sources can be quite leathal.
9976348
Exactly, a magic microwave version
Ah this most be the famous, 'hormonal rise' face I heard once about pregnancy. It not very often and of course for each woman it different but there are times when they become extremely sensitive and aroused for days. Bean is going to need a ice pack and a day rest for after that face is over.
Also, since she is going throw morning sickness then hyper sensitive senses are not to far behind. Her nose is going to get extremely sensitive to anything, even stronger than Bean…perhaps it already starting for how she manage to detect the scent of mares when Bean was merely near a bunch of them…and probably Pinkie been the prominent one with all the hugging.
Just so you know, during that face, for a couple of days, the most they can eat are dry crackers and water. Why? Well, the smell of just milk is enough to make them gag, and eggs might as well smell like a city dump with how sensitive their noses are, and same will go with their taste buds.
Again, it different and unique for each woman, it can go the other way, too. Everything she eats now, taste really delicious and can't stop eating. Honestly you can go with either option. (But I prefer the first one, Bean having the greatest challenge to cook something delicious for a mare with hypersensitive taste buds, could be his biggest challenge yet)
Looks like Tia is getting classic pregnancy cravings!
Plus this is the first time that Flim and Flam have not been arrested for their hair-brained scams too, which is a minuscule improvement to say the least.
To be fair to Celly I'm a guy and my bedtime snack used to consist of a pickle with ketchup on it with a chaser of a spoonful of peanut butter, so this isn't entirely weird to me.
I thought it was a microwave from the jargon and it was...
I really wanted Gordon Ramsay pony to be there for it though, but maybe I just watch too many kitchen nightmare clips in my free time.
Nice
Of course it does. Never change Pinkie.
You mean the one that actually worked and won them the contest and the farm if the show writers hadn't have arbitrarily decided "Nope apples."?
9976370
Yeah, that’s the downside of only having heat-sensitive nerves in the outer portion of the flesh. I hope the Flimflam brothers know to incorporate a metal mesh into the window, otherwise they’ll boil their eyeballs.
9976348
I really wonder if the controller for the magnetron is mostly magic based or clunky 60's tech with tubes and coils?
I also wonder if they'll go back in time when one of them puts a large metal item in it. Heh. *BZZZZorrpp!*
...bet they'd get a serious PR boost if the brothers can get the royals or the dukes to install one (at a substantial discount for publicity's sake)
9976348
Magic
Incremental
Cooking
Rectangular
Object
With
Absolute
Versatility
Everywhere
Potatoes aren't the only things that explode in microwaves
9976522
That'd be funny
9976370
Yea, I had a friend who got exposed to an active radar dish at damn near point blank range. She had radiation sickness for ages.
9977089
Youch! Glad to hear she recovered. The first lasers were actually masers that used microwaves instead of light. Quite lethal, but too power hungry to be practical.
9977105
Good thing for that.
Have to check survey link w site hasn’t crashed on me.
Also google animaniacs do you Wana take a survey.
Also realy realy worried for customer safety as there didn’t sound like any shielding from the microwave like rays.
Oh, no. Oh no!
Celestia! If Bean sees what you have done, we'll have a fallen alicorn prince before you can raise the sun!
Beware, Celestia, lest ye awaken the Mighty and Terrible Scorched Bean!
So they saw the light, made a switch? True, yes? Those poor unfornate potatoes though.
...it's Tuesday... well, get ready for the shenanigans
I really hope the Ketchup As ensign is made canon down the line. It feels too good not to pass up.
Thought it would be a microwave before they finished their first platitude. Surprisingly enough, it's not a microwave! Well, not as we know it. Pretty close though.
We always chuckle at the break from human reality, since Earth equines cannot naturally vomit.
It's too bad Celestia gorged herself on that midnight snack, with moderation it would have been half as bad!
Pickles, grape jelly, pretzels, and ketchup. Needs something... Ah, a small slice of extra sharp cheddar! That should balance better!
Keep going! ;)
She's probably not angry but playing around
...oh...hope your leg is doing ok Bean, because you wont be walking in the morning
I see Baked Bean and Dry Roast have a few things in common.
I read Georg's story just recently, so this scene was immediately familiar.
9976851
I love it!
9980399
Hee hee hee
9980636
I'm just imagining having a litter with Discord would yield impressively chaotic results. Like a griffon cub somehow, a baby Mino, and every flavor of pony at least. Just a regular rainbow of species diversity!
I also contemplated if Discord and Dash hooked up, they'd literally have a kid for each color of the rainbow.
9980641
Indeed he is, if I were so lucky you'd have to write me in as Jumping for joy Bean.
9976718
Yeah! That o- waaaaait.
(Yep! From that apple-ized abortion of a John Henry tale.)
Now the FlimFlam (TM) brand 'Microwave Oven' will end up in every electric-powered household in Equestria!
9976370
Oh, come now. I'm sure Flim and Flam always operate with a safety first mentality.
Right?
9976390
Well, if anypony is up to a cooking challenge, it should be Bean, right?
9976411
Baby steps for the brothers. Here's hoping they don't slide back into their deceptive ways. :)
9976417
See? It's perfectly normal. Bean just needs to accept that.
9976522
Sadly, Salt Lick is probably too small of a town for Gordon Ramsay to bother with, methinks. But I'm sure he'd hate the Fabulous Food Fryer if he was there.
9976687
9976718
Exactly!
...wait.
No, the idea was that Flim and Flam created something legitimate, but that they still have quality control issues. If they get that sorted out, they'll be set for life.
9976806
Here's hoping.
9976848
Clunky 1930's tech all the way.
9976851
I may just have to steal that.
9976926
9977166
New safety features are definitely planned for the next model.
...
probably.
9977174
See, the problem with that is Scorched Bean wouldn't be threatening. He'd only smell like... burnt.
9977208
Fortunately, they know a little magic. It's a talent that they always have possessed.
But please don't laugh, they use it on behalf of the miserable, the lonely, and depressed.
Even if they are a little pathetic. :)
9977269
Yay shenanigans!
9977455
9977528
Sharp cheddar, got it. I'm sure Celestia is willing to give it a try.
9977666
9977891
I confess to a wee bit of plagiarism there. It fit so well with what was going on that I had to.
Thankfully, Georg didn't seem to mind too much.
9978697
Hey, don't knock it until you try it.
On second thought, you may have a good reason to avoid it. :)
9980658
Dash and Discord together scares me a little. If they could ever get over their differences and join forces...
9983054
Oh! I so could imagine this be the secret Bean tradition pass down from father to son. Each Bean coming to the challenge of making a dish so enticing and filling, their mates will no longer have cravings, using 'The book of recipes' that contains all the dishes the male Bean have ever done to help, their wives and help the next generation. His father, having help from his grandfather, his grandfather from his grand grand father and so on and so on to the times of the 3 founders of Equestria.
And now with tears of pride, Bean father is passing down the book to help his son help his wife, and put his own recipe there too.
Kind of like the tradition of every mare marrying into the Bean family but now, for the stallions.
9983077
And Pinkie is friends with both....
I think we found a trio scarier than any CMC scenario could ever be O_o
9983054
Indeed.
Oh my god... the Flim Flam Brothers created SCIENCE!!!
YOU FOOLS!! YOU DON'T MIX SCIENCE AND MAGIC!!! It's worse than mixing Coca-Cola with Pepsi! LOOK WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME!!
See, this was all a secret experiment run by Pepsi Co, using a cleverly-named front company 'PEPCON'. They PRETENDED to make rocket fuel, but really they were trying to invent the ultimate cola and RULE THE WORLD!! They learned the hard way some things ought not be meddled with!
9990748
Talking about ‘keep going’, I am on chapter 4 of this and this story is greattt~!!
I’ve read all the series up to this one!
The only problem I had with this series is the that damn bug queen(funny) part. I couldn’t grab myself into the story, I couldn’t stay focused on it.
But other then that it’s a good series and keep it up!
“Your Highness,” Flim glanced to Flam, and they both removed their hats. “We make no secret of the fact that we have had a less than stellar past. You are wise to doubt us, but I assure you that we’ve mended our ways.”
“Repented!” Flam added.
“Seen the light!”
“And made the switch!” Flam picked up right where Flim had left off. “We’re honest businessponies now, and we’re honestly going to give you a show like no other! Just give us a chance, Your Highness, and we’ll prove that our Fabulous Food Fryer Two Thousand is legitimate and authentic!”
Flim and Flam must have trained in Ursula's School of Swindling.
those poor unfortunate souls...
Pregnant hormones makes the normally potent pony sense of smell even stronger and makes the horny Celly even hornier.
Well... the cider machine worked PERFECTLY until they decided to lower the quality setting while while letting their competition get a HUGE advantage... They were obviously greedy, but the problem is on Applejack part on not haggling on the price...
This really caught me off guard ^^;;; I was "what? that is going to reduce that potatoes to charred bricks." then remembered that it is in Fahrenheit...
10662121
Yeah, my American was showing slightly there.
Couldn’t even tell you why, but the last new chapters of this that I read at time of publication were the Halloween ones. Always meant to come back and finish it off, so then I notice there’s a new sequel, so hey, why not just devote my free time to re-reading the story so far before carrying on? Why am I experiencing Diabeetus™️? Maybe it’s to do with Bean and Celly being disgustingly sweet and wholesome together, who knows?
11002652
c.tenor.com/XUHd8e-jnH4AAAAC/diabeetus-wilford.gif
O ? Flim & Flam get straight to honesty? I like to see that.
Lucky Bean
Trying to get away from been a chef silly, cooking for friends and family is much different
The Cider thing was already great. They should just never deactivated the filtering...