A millennium ago, give or take, Princesses Celestia and Luna were nearly defeated by the most powerful villain that they had ever faced, Grogar, the dreaded lord of Tambelon. Thanks only to the whims of random chance, the two princesses survived that encounter, but have been forced to live in fear of the time of his inevitable return. That time is now...

...But whatever revival was intended has gone a little... wrong. Behind the wheels of Grogar's body is the spirit of a slightly extremely eccentric human. Equestria would have been lucky to survive the real Grogar, but will the ponies fare any better with this loon ruling Tambelon?

Sex Tag For Sexy Times Reasons, Gore Tag For Gorey Time Reasons.

You. Have. Been. Warned.

In the wake of the events of "Infernal Machines" and the Nightmare's most pathetic assault on Ponyville yet, Applejack is thrown into an existential crisis, despite her not knowing what the word "existential" means. So when a stranger named Stranger arrives in town, teaching a new way of coupling talent to power using complex machinery, she is quickly suckered in, along with everypony else. Now, it falls to the Most Dependable of Ponies to bring the resulting ruckus down to earth, but can even Applejack's legendary pragmatism stand up to the brain-fizzing horror that is... CONTRAPTIONOLOGY?

Now with a Spanish translation by Spaniard Kiwi!

Nightmare Moon was indeed banished. Where to was another matter entirely. Through an unfortunate series of events poor wittle Woona ends up sealed away inside a young boy living on an entirely different rock. Then one fateful day, on the verge of death, the boy gets to meet his inner self. He certainly wasn't expecting a little blue horse intent on snuggling him the rest of the way to death.

With the ninja exams quickly approaching, the boy needs help. And the ever-helpful Woona knows exactly who to ask. Ponies of course, cause ponies are always nice and helpful! That's what big sister says! Now armed with the power of the pony summoning contract, the boy attempts to summon a pony able to teach him something, anything, other than the absolutely deadly 'death-by-snuggles' technique.

Naruto crossover. Yet another one of my stories that will explode violently if taken seriously. Handle without care. Leave your sanity at the door. You have been warned.

Featured 4 - 6 June 2014. I'm not even entirely sure how, but many many thanks for all the interest and support that made that possible! You guys have double-double-doubled the fun!

"Ponykind must have run out of colours when they finally got to this pony. Everything from his mane to his ass was all seven colours of gloom and doom. He was so dark and brooding he probably ate glittery emos and shat vampire bats.” - Quote of the Week

1000 years the ponies have prayed for a saviour to deliver them, whether it was their long lost sun goddess Celestia, or even Nightmare Moon, maybe even the chaos lord Discord, anypony! After suffering under the yoke of a tyrant god for so long, they decided any saviour will do, even a dark demonic overlord. One unicorn sorceress finally decides to take matters into her own hooves. She sets out to the frozen ruins of a long lost Empire in the Crystal Mountains bearing a grand sacrifice of 1000 ponies in an attempt to summon the dark demonic overlord of the Crystal Empire.

When the dark ritual turned up a blank, the universe decides to shuffle in the next best thing. Will he rise up to the expectations of his newfound flock? He'd better, and quickly, for the tyrant god's inquisition is out to get him and the 1000 'blasphemers' involved in his summoning. With a nation to build and an evil tyrant god to fight, never has there been a taller order to fill. But it's alright, he's a dark demonic overlord, right? He quickly finds that with some smokes and mirrors and the help of 1000 very magical ponies, anyone can look the part, even an entirely magic-inert pizza delivery dude.

Now a long-haul fic! Many thanks to everyone who convinced me to make this a reality!

Many many thanks to the Editing team, Dumbgamer99, Not A Hat, and Brad The Brony. Be sure to thank them by checking out their pages!

Our lovable number one overdude assistant, Crystal Heart, now has a musical theme, aptly titled 'Dual Core A.I.', kindly provided by AdmiralTigerclaw! Epic now comes in an entirely new flavour! Many thanks!

Somebody kindly messaged me and told me I should announce here that the story was featured from 27 - 30th of April. I completely missed that but many thanks for making that possible, everyone!

Cover Art: Placeholder drawn by me. Will be a background for a full cover at some point.

The stand-alone prologue to "Contraptionology!" In a world where forest fires (well, a forest fire) run(s) rampant, the fate of Ponyville – this week, at least – lies in the capable hooves of the greatest scientific genius ever to walk the surface of Equestria...

...Pinkie Pie.

Now with a Spanish translation by Spaniard Kiwi!

It has been one of the closest guarded secrets of Canterlot's royalty. Deep in a specially constructed dungeon, surrounded by warding spells and powerful magic barriers, exists an enigma. Within a cage that could only be described as something out of a nightmare, it waits and watches all of Equestria. A creature that cannot age, is immune to disease, does not thirst nor hunger, and resists all injury. But, it also holds secrets and knowledge that could safeguard the kingdom. Its powers are frightening, but it is civil enough for debate when patience permits.

Princess Celestia has sought counsel with the creature before, enduring it making deal after deal for its services. The Princess walks a fine line when dealing with it, knowing full well anything could give it an advantage despite its imprisonment. She has had to go back on her word in these dealings, and from this a deep animosity between them has been born. It is a necessary evil as she is convinced this is a being capable of untold evil far and above anything Equestria has ever dreamed of. So long as it remains within the confines of its cell, her kingdom is made safe. So much magic has been woven to ensure that, there is little chance of escape.

So long as the magic holds, there is no danger. So long as the cage remains strong, the nameless creature stays enthralled in his cavernous dwelling. If that were to change--if the magic failed--not even the wisest could say. But one thing is assured, it does not bode well for Equestria.

My attempt at a more serious 'Luna meets Neil Armstrong' storyline. What would really happen, both on the moon and on Earth? Inspired by 'The Eagle has Landed' by CyanBlackStone.

Princess Luna has found herself on a very different moon after some strange force interfered with her banishment. She doesn't know what the metal objects that keep orbiting and sometimes landing there are, but she wants to find out. Meanwhile, Neil Armstrong believes that being the first man on the moon will be the crowning achievement of his life. Hoo boy, is he ever in for a surprise.

For those who are interested, the most excellent Zanec has provided this link to an interactive Apollo 11 site.

PRINCESS TWILIGHT SPARKLE: DEAD AT 18

TELEPORTATION INVARIABLY FATAL, WARNS LEADING SCHOLAR

One look at the headline of the Canterlot Times and Twilight knew that she should have slept in today. But at least none of her friends would be silly enough to believe she was killing herself every time she teleported, right?

There is now a Spanish translation of this story, courtesy of Spaniard Kiwi

Twilight went to take her entrance exam for Celestia's school for gifted unicorns, and she had a surge. But when the Princess of the sun shows up, all Twilight can think of is getting away. The look of concern for those she transformed was too much. In a flash of light, the little filly disappears with one thought on her mind.

"I've disappointed them all."

Nearly a century ago, he found himself in a world he recognized, one he dove into with an enthusiasm only an RPG lover could manage. But it wasn't everything he'd hoped, it wasn't a paradise. It was a prison. Now, after a desperate attempt to flee that empty world, he finds himself lost once again. Only now, he can feel the wind and the snow. He can feel hunger gnawing at his stomach. He feels the burn of every step he pushes his body to take.

Definitely worth it.