• Member Since 3rd Jan, 2014

lebowski42


Because there is magic in words, that’s why it’s called spelling, but there is also death. That’s why it’s called a sentence.

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T

As far as Flurry is concerned, she's a perfectly normal filly with a pretty ordinary life. Sure, her house is somewhat larger than average and maybe there's the whole 'horn and wings' thing. But she goes to school with everypony else, her parents both do mostly-boring work for the local government and just like nearly every other firstborn, her father obsessively recorded her foalhood.

The photo albums are bad enough.

The crystal showcase galleries may have gone a little too far.



Absolutely not an entry for the Shining Armor is a Terrible Dad 2024 Competition, but was inspired by its existence.

(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.)

Chapters (1)
T

There are six pony virtues. Six. And fortunately for the pickup artists, confidence stallions, and desperate of the world, there's also a lot of sapients who can't count that high. Princess Luna's Return produced a few side effects, and one of the more consistently annoying is a never-ending parade of those who claim to be the hitherto-unknown virtue of This Is Worth Some Free Drinks. Others take it further.

Division Seven is an international, multispecies effort, created in an attempt to find and discipline those charlatans. And ideally, to do so before something... happens.

The planet has strange ways of reacting to the presence of true Bearers.

Imagine how it might deal with some of the fakes...


(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.)

Cover art created by RamblingWriter.

Chapters (2)
E

If there's a holiday, then somepony's probably overdecorated for it. The Greening has seen entire homes blend into the local grass, while Lambvent shrouds neighborhoods in wool and Hearth's Warming traditionally welcomes guests into homes through making it impossible to see where the front door is. But if Ponyville's going to get dressed up anyway, then Town Hall might as well have a little contest built around it. The mayor signed off on that.

Which meant there was a period of at least two seconds in which Marigold Mare completely forgot her town hosts the Bearers -- and that she'd just given them a reason to compete against each other.

Shall we count down to the inevitable one home visit at a time? In six, five, four, three...



(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.)

Rated C for they don't celebrate Christmas Crackfic.

Chapters (1)
E

They love each other. But they don’t always understand. Centuries of shared time still haven’t been enough for each sister to fully comprehend how the other views the world, and that’s just one of the reasons Celestia and Luna still have fights. And sometimes it’s the smallest, stupidest differences, like how Luna prefers the longest of baths and Celestia doesn’t…

Luna feels that being immersed brings a pony closer to her world. And Celestia doesn’t understand.

Some lessons require special measures. Along with a lot of water.

And tiles. There’s definitely going to be tiles.



(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.)

Chapters (1)
T

It's only been a few moons since Spike moved to Ponyville, and the settled zone hasn't quite gotten used to having a dragon around, any more than his sister has become accustomed to managing all the duties of a small town library. So while she sorts out late fee notices, he's expected to work the front desk and speak to patrons. Ponies who don't know how to talk to him. Ponies who seem to be having a hard time even looking at him. So when Twilight finally sends him to collect a book from a truly unresponsive patron, it's almost a relief.

Except that the pony isn't there. Will never be there again.

And just about nopony seems to care if she was ever there at all.


(A stand-alone, no prior-reading-necessary part of the Triptych Continuum, which has its own TVTropes page and FIMFiction group: new members and trope edits are welcome. )

Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.

Chapters (1)
T

This story is a sequel to A Confederacy Of Dunce Caps


He's her daddy. Hers alone, and... they've been alone for a long time. Father and daughter, with each as the only pony whom the other has in the world. As far as Diamond's concerned, that's natural. It's the way things have just about always been. (She was too young to remember anything else.) And therefore, that's how their lives should always be.

Except that now her father is talking about dating. He has his eyes on a mare, and that pegasus can barely keep one eye on anything. Diamond's had all of her father's love for just about the whole of her life, and if somepony else comes in, then... there's going to be less for her. That's just basic business sense. Limited supply, increased demand.

Her father wants to be with somepony again.

There has to be a way for Diamond to save him. Before it all goes wrong.



(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.)

This story takes place after the events of Anchor Foal and DELWMG, but no knowledge of either story is required.

Chapters (9)
E

There's a certain risk in sending this particular class of students on field trips, and Ponyville's school board is tired of seeing all of the disaster odds come through. So if the kids want to visit the Autarky Magic Center, then they're going to provide the security deposit. And that money can only come from one source: the classic school fundraiser. The corporate adults providing the 'chocolate' even promised a personal reward for selling lots of the stuff!

Cheerilee is putting Diamond in charge of the sales brigade.

The adults are going to regret that.



Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.

Chapters (1)
E

The Cumulus. There's no finer mattress in the world. It's just like sleeping on a cloud, because that's exactly what you're doing. It just happens to be a cloud that's been saturated with pegasus magic, to the point where anypony (and anyone) can rest upon it. The support is perfect, the temperature ideal, and Rainbow would do a lot to own one -- except saving up for it, because that's clearly stupid.

But the company has a factory in Canterlot. One which just started offering tours to the public. So in theory, all she has to do is get in there, see how it's done, and then apply that to creating one herself. Getting locked in after hours wasn't part of that plan, but if you're going to be stuck anywhere at night...

A mare who loves sleep, and sixty of the world's best mattresses.

Welcome to one of the worst nights of Rainbow's life.


Cover art provided by Rambling Writer, with thanks.

(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages. The current Ko-Fi drive is for a new mattress. That is why this story exists.)

(The author is not subtle.)

Chapters (1)
E

Rarity generally tries to embrace innovation: after all, a mare who's always trying to stay ahead of the trend (or just outright create it) must be ready to accept the new. And the stress generated by a designer's life creates a certain need to... relax. Something where, quite frankly, spa sessions and private time in the designated screaming room aren't always enough to do it. So what's wrong with following up on a magazine article and personally learning how buffalo meditative techniques have been newly adapted for unicorns?

Absolutely nothing. Unless, of course, she recalls that some of her friends happen to enjoy pranking.

She doesn't always remember that last part in time.


(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.)

Chapters (1)
E

A thousand year absence from the world would be disorienting for anyone, but when your job is Head of State, understanding how society has changed during your interregnum is vital. Princess Luna, banished in the age of the longboat and the longbow, has returned just in time for the launch of the tablet computer. With the help of her sister, she undertakes to understand the history she's missed and the people she finds herself among, in order to resume the duties of her title.


This story takes the form of a series of conversations between Celestia and Luna that take place months and years apart. It is openly concerned with political ideas and how societies are organised, and not at all concerned with monsters and magic beyond the conceit of immortal monarchs. The Alternate Universe tag is there because I will be ignoring every single one of the thousand year catastrophes that occur in the show after the Nightmare Moon crisis, the retirement of the Princesses, probably the presence of any other Princesses, and anything else in the show I feel like ignoring, because I find them irrelevant to the themes I want to cover.

In short, if you wanted The Audience with ponies, I got you covered.

This story can be considered canon to my comic works such as The Sunjackers, and my other associated worldbuilding projects, and uses the same date system as them (ie. roughly matching our own, with the return of Nightmare Moon happening the same year as the episode aired, 2010). May also be your jam if you like Equestria At War, but not affiliated at all.

Chapters (7)