When Twilight Sparkle first arrived in Ponyville, she thought every pony there was crazy. Nowadays, she fits right in. This is the story of a normal day in her new home.

Twilight is an intelligent mare, and always has something to say. But when a group of bizarre creatures shows up at her library offering life long service and devotion, for once she's at a loss for words. Which is too bad, because she'd really love to ask: what's a human and why are they so weird?

Story Image by: Megan Lara

Pinkie Pie learns a new word that starts with 'F' and ends with 'K'. No, it's not firetruck.

How will she use this new word? Let's find out.

The Long Patrol is an extension of the crown. It brings the rule of law and the princess's banner to the far reaches of the kingdom, the places where harmony fades and the wild chaos of nature still reigns.

In times past, all the tribes took part in the patrol. Today, it is mostly pegasi and a few gryphons. The distances they travel are simply too vast for anyone without wings.

Like most gryphons who join, I wanted to get away from my kind. I dreamed of the adventures I would have and the friends I would make. I certainly got those.

I just wish the price weren't so high.

[My entry for the EqD Summer "Outsider Insight" contest.]

Discord has a problem. He has a tendency to not think through his actions all that well, poor impulse control, and no ability to figure out how others will feel about what he does. Even with a friend helping him, sooner or later he's going to do something that'll get him stoned or hit with a reforming spell or whatnot. So what's he to do? Ask the smartest pony in Equestria for a solution, of course!

He probably wasn't expecting to get "Have Celestia let you rule Equestria again" for a response.

No one else was probably expecting to enjoy it.

Now with a reading by Crafty Arts!
And a Spanish translation!

Remember the time Ponyville was invaded by Parasprites? Or the time Cerberus, the demonic three-headed dog guardian of Tartarus, Equestria's underworld, wandered away and ended up in Ponyville?

What I'm trying to say is, it's an odd sort of town. Anything can happen.

This is the story of how a million star spiders came to live with Twilight Sparkle. It wasn't even the weirdest thing to happen to her that month.

Ponyville, man. Crazy place.

Edit: Now a reading, apparently!

A collection of short stories. A little bit of this, a little bit of that. All, hopefully, about what it means to be human.

Except, you know, with ponies.

I'm afraid of Changeling: Drone 42531 is insecure and decides he needs to see a professional, whether or not the professional wants to see him. [Comedy] [Random]

One thousand and one: A family keeps a long vigil, regardless of the cost. [Sad]

Uncoordinated: Twilight Sparkle and the Cutie Mark Crusaders conduct an experiment. Accidentally. [Comedy] [Random]

But the Greatest of These: Every pony has to grow up someday. Every dragon, too. [Slice of Life]

Wonder: Pinkie Pie's farm is grey. The sky is grey. Her sister is grey. The world is grey. Until, one day, it isn't. [Slice of Life]

The Apple of my Eye: Apple Bloom finally gets her cutie mark. It's not what she wanted. [Comedy] [Random]

Bookworm: Twilight Sparkle finds an odd message in her books. [Dark]

At the End of the Day: Just what does Pinkie Pie do in her free time? [Slice of Life]

The House at the End of the World: Some promises shouldn't be kept. [Adventure] [Dark]

Pantone Perfect: Rarity and Twilight Sparkle enjoy a refreshing argument at the spa. [Comedy] [Random]

Medium Rare: In which we learn the secret, scarring horror that was Fluttershy's first experience with a dragon. [Comedy] [Random]

One Thousand Flowers: How long do gifts take to grow? [Slice of Life]

Tempest: A pegasus teaches his son the nature of the rain. [Slice of Life]

No Natural Predators: The days have grown longer as the world winds down. [Adventure] [Dark]

Six More Weeks: The first day of Spring is a wonderful time to be a pony. Just make sure you get the date right. [Comedy]

Derecho: A daughter starts a long quest in a forgotten city.[Slice of Life]

O Death, where is thy sting? Human Flash Sentry travels across the multiverse. [Adventure]

The Lotus Eaters: Heaven is different things to different people. A Friendship is Optimal vignette.[Slice of Life]

Tour of Duty: Duty can be lighter than a feather, or heavier than a mountain. [Slice of Life]

Nickel-Iron-Cobalt: An explorer discovers a world without life. Perhaps. [Anthro][Adventure]

(Based on prompts from the Thirty Minute Pony Stories tumblr. All written in 30 minutes – give or take – unless otherwise noted.)

Lyra and Bon Bon, aka the masked superheroes Harpflank and Sweets, have been entertaining young foals with their stories of action and courage on television. But once a season, the network produces a special episode to teach valuable life lessons to impressionable young foals.

A very special episode, with a narrator who is determined to make their emotional breakthroughs as touching and personal as possible.

Whether they want it or not.

(Side story to Harpflank and Sweets, by Arcainum. I'm very sorry.)

Twilight looked over to her dear mentor, Princess Celestia, and found she had once again fallen asleep mid-lesson. Her intense debate on awakening the princess was cut short when the decision was taken out of her hooves.

“Huh? Oh. Twilight, I am so sorry for falling asleep again. I think we need to reschedule this for tomorrow morning.”

Twilight nodded. After all, Princess Celestia was obviously overworked. If only there was something she could do to help.

Now with a dramatic reading courtesy of DRWolf.
Additionally, there’s a Spanish translation by Spaniard Kiwi over on Deviant Art.

Current Episode: Season Zero – Episode One
Next Episode: Twin Twilights

Art created from images by Tim015 and ShilaDaLioness.

Twilight has a bit of a problem. You see, she always does Princess Celestia's bidding, regardless of how ridiculous the task or insane the request. Now, it'd be just a shame if someone were to abuse this knowledge to their own malicious ends. The only question is, how far will they go?

Thanks to my amazing editor Maskedferret for all the help!