This is satire.

Synopsis:
Celestia is dead. Mistakes were made.

Contains: blood, naughty words.

Cover art is Friar Pedro Shoots El Maragato as His Horse Runs Off by Francisco José de Goya y Lucientes and badly edited by me.

Now with a reading by StraightToThePointStudio, feel free to check it out!

Believing it to be an easy job, two thieves broke into Princess Twilight Sparkle's castle. With no Royal Guards protecting the castle and Twilight herself gone, her valuable possessions were as good as theirs.

Or so they thought.

Last but far from least, special thanks to Little Tigress for drawing the great cover art.

EDIT: Featured through 09/09/20--09/14/20!!
#1 story with mature mode enabled on 09/09/20
#1 story w/o mature mode through 09/09/20--09/11/20

EDIT on 10/19/20: Has an audio reading done by the youtuber Enharmonic!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_vWs46--nTo

A story in which Twilight Sparkle proceeds to die.

Several times.

For science.

Featured July 1st, 2020!

StraightToThePointStudio did a reading. Check it out here!

Chinese translation here.
Russian translation here.

No one can top Tempest for long-wearing yet perfect looks. But how does she do it? What's her secret? Rarity wants to know. And then... she finds out...

A fun, quickie one-shot, not set in any specific AU, though it's compatible with several of my other Tempest stories.

User Spaniard Kiwi was kind enough to post a Spanish translation over on DeviantArt -- thanks much!

Tempest gets roped into babysitting Flurry Heart during a visit to the Crystal Empire. It's not so bad. She can talk all she wants and Flurry's a good listener. Plus, it gets her away from the hustle and bustle of the Crystal Faire. In all, she expects a quiet night.

Then she spots a spider. And spiders need to die. By any means necessary.

The Crystal Palace will never be the same.

Written for the May 2020 Pairing Contest. Loosely inspired by, well, Kill it With Fire. Has a Spanish translation by SPANIARD KIWI.

Long story short...

Love hurts.

Also, I have no idea why I wrote this!

Featured on 5/4/20, 5/5/20, 5/6/20, 5/7/20, 5/8/20 thank you for finding my bored ramblings as interesting.

Chrysalis was blasted from Canterlot by Shining’s and Cadance’s love for each other, but she hasn’t lost yet, she still has a secret weapon against them.

A weapon that only an ancient love-sucking being with a keen mind and an army of spies can wield; a deep understanding of the pony’s laws.

So, she arms herself with a business suit, glasses, and a briefcase full of documents, and marches on towards Canterlot.

Featured 4/20/2020, this time was intentional!

Narrated by StraightToThePointStudio: Narration

Reviewed by Javarod: Review

Now translated to russian! by GrandCat

For years, Twilight Sparkle has kept track of how little both Princess Celestia and Luna eat.

A small slice of cake here. A single cup of tea there. So what really keeps the Princesses going from day to day?

And is Twilight Sparkle truly prepared to unearth such facts?

Artwork by davidsfire.

Spotting Twilight Sparkle in an unusually bad case of "twilighting", Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Spike, and Starlight Glimmer try to calm her down. They are quite used to it.

But when Twilight explains why she was twilighting, again, her friends realize it's actually justified this time. They all agree to help Ponyville survive a disaster Twilight believes is imminent.

Will they be successful, and why did Twilight's friends suddenly believe she was on to something...?

A secret unknown to any hornless pony, unicorn horns are made of candy. Pinkie Pie found out, and now she wants to try every flavor!

Warning: contains awkward moments and far too much non-consensual horn licking. Proceed at the risk of your horn and your dignity.

Available in Chinese, courtesy of Hell Organist.
Available in Russian, courtesy of boatOV.
Audio Reading by CaptainBron3y.
Second Audio Reading by Kanjigirl.
Featured on Equestria Daily.

Based on this story:
Pegasus Wings Are Made Of Ice Cream
The Taste Of Madness
Lyra's Candy Shoppe
Candy Is Made Of Unicorn Horns
How Many Licks?
To Prevent Horn Decay
Unicorn Horns Are Made of Heroin
Over His Dead Body
A Luscious Loophole
Dr. Doofenshirtz's Sweet Revenge
That Thing We Do
#DealWithIt
Unicorn Horns are...
Unicorn Horns Are Loaded With Calories
Charlie The Unicorn's Horn Is Made Of Candy