- Member Since 8th Mar, 2012
- offline last seen 2 hours ago
Alaborn
Somewhere in the USA. Probably older than you. And something about MLP:FIM makes me want to write stories. Unfortunately, being gainfully employed cuts into my writing time.
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You have my attention.
The only thing I can think of that would make this even better is to make a Hearts and Hooves interlude/second chapter, in which Lyra gets busy then gets BUSY. But that's clearly all up to you.
Oh, this was really good! I'd love a sequel...maybe one where Bon-Bon and Lyra open a special section of their shop JUST for horn flavoring...and perhaps flavoring for all the stallions' "horns" as well. An adult-only part of the candy shop. I'd love to see some of the flavors all the ponies who come in would choose. I can only IMAGINE Discord's flavor (for his OWN horns, upper and lower, for Fluttershy/Celestia's pleasure, depending on who you ship him with).
...
BRILLIANT!
If only I could find that reaction image of Lyra going "oh, you...".
I see what you did there.
According to the prequel it's "an interesting flavor... sort of piña colada".
Good story!
Just one minor, formal note:
You forgot to add the source of the cover-art. I'm sure the artist would approve if you at least mention him.
7045560 If you know who did it, let me know. The picture Google found was just too perfect, but unfortunately it was a link to someone's profile picture, not an artist's page.
7046512
I didn't find the picture-source itself, but it's on derpibooru #48949.
According to the tags the artist is kloudmutt.
If you have time, check his gallery (or his other sites).
You just had to include Spike. >.< It was fine up until then.
7213037 Is it a dislike of Spike's role in the story, or a dislike of Spike in general?
7213097
Dislike of his role, dislike of Sparity, and dislike of him engaging in an activity that is presented as sexual elsewhere in the story. I mean, you lampshade it, but that came far too late; the damage was done. He really should just have been left out entirely if you ask me, his presence doesn't really add anything.
7213103 I'm not a fan of Sparity either, but in this case it's more like a teenager getting his hands on a magazine or toy. The more important reason for his inclusion here is to give Twilight Sparkle a reason to visit the shop, other than the real reason she wants to come.
Now this was great! For a while, I thought it wasn't going to go full clop and that it could probably get away with a teen rating... and then it went full clop. ^.^ (And let me tell you, I really wasn't expecting a full clop story to come out of this supposedly innocent fic of mine.) It's really nice how this takes its time in developing and doesn't rush things. And I really enjoyed the note of enthusiasm on Bon Bon's part at the end! And yeah, it does work great along with your universe where ponies have flavors!
cdn-img.fimfiction.net/group/vkuc-1448531607-209408-128
A review for ocalhoun's big 250k contest.
Remember to vote for the winner of the People's Choice award!
The rankings and ratings of stories in the contest are visible in real time, and you can see them here.
I'm calling it now! It's Flash Sentry, Savior of the Universe!
7333678 Flash! Ah-ahh!
I left that stallion a mystery so that the reader could insert his favorite ship.