Twilight Sparkle has decided that she wants to be friends with Starswirl the Bearded.

Friends... with benefits.

And now Starlight has to hear her entire plan to do it, no matter if she wants to or not.

Written for the Pillars Shipping Contest!

Featured 7/8/2021!

King Sombra, after being blasted by the Elements of Harmony in his original world, finds himself in a slightly different world than the one he just died in.

Kinderquestria vs. Regular Equestria. Which one is worse for otherworldly villains?

Audio reading by StraightToThePointStudio.

It hadn't been too long since Equestria experienced its largest power-exchange to date, with Princesses Celestia and Luna stepping down to allow Twilight Sparkle to take the throne. A lot of crazy events may have transpired during that time, including the defeat of three of the nation's largest threats at once, but it didn't take long for Equestria to settle back to a period of calm, tranquil peace.

Unfortunately for the new ruling Princess, recent developments seemed to cause her Royal Assistant to have some issues that are difficult to explain. And after a lengthy argument which led to a blowout from the little dragon, Twilight was left feeling hopeless when Spike flew from the castle in tears.

Now it's up to their parents, Twilight Velvet and Night, to find Spike and get to the bottom of his problems. Will the Royal Assistant be able to open up to his adopted parents? And can the couple get through to Spike, and help him feel better about his insecurities?

Note: This story was the winner of February's Patreon Commission Story Poll. If you want to see more of my upcoming projects, or just want to show your support for a freelance writer, please consider following me on my official Patreon page: https://www.patreon.com/TheVClaw

Flurry Heart wants to know what happened to the Crystal Empire's previous rulers. Cadance answers with as little detail as possible, and unintentionally teaches her daughter about a tradition she wasn't aware of.

Entry for the Cadance is a Terrible Mom contest, and 1st place winner! Admittedly an idea I've had in my head for a while, thanks for the excuse to write it!

Ocellus confesses her horrible crimes to Counselor Trixie. Counselor Trixie seems less than impressed.

This story was going to be my entry in the 179th Writeoff contest, "I've Waited so Long for This...." But that was a minific contest, and I quickly realized this was gonna end up being way too long.

So I thought I'd enter it in the Original Pairings group's Speed Writing contest since I don't find many stories where Ocellus meets Pony Joe...or Donut Joe or Joe the Donut Pony or whatever name he goes by these days. But when Trixie shoehorned her way in to such a large extent, I abandoned that idea as well.

Here it is now, though, but not on my Baal Bunny account where WriteOff-related stories go as a rule. Because this is all about breaking the rules!

I never expected much to happen to me when I joined the Royal Guard. It's a nice job, don't get me wrong, but all those stories about saving the princess and getting a reward were just stories. Of course, sometimes those stories come true and in the came of myself I happened to have done just that. I saved Princess Celestia and in return I got to go out on a date with her.

Co-written with CrackedInkWell

Fluttershy has an absolutely lovely pair of tits that she wants to introduce to Discord. The draconequus isn't so sure if he's up for making friends with these humongous tits. Will Fluttershy be able to help Discord past his tit anxiety, or will the chaos god perish from laughter?

This is an educational story.

A gift for Moon. Helped into existence by NorrisThePony, and you should blame him for the existence of this. Recommended by PresentPerfect! Reading by TheLostNarrator!

Applejack doesn't "do" dating. Everypony knows that. But after her brother and Sugar Belle get together, she decides it's finally time to give this whole "relationship" business a shot.

Only problem is, she's gonna need a bigger mailbox...

Takes place prior to Season 8.

Since Princess Twilight Sparkle had elevated herself to the status of an immortal alicorn, she has come to realize that there would be one part of her friend's lives that they may never get the chance of having - her funeral. To make up for this, she decides to host a mock funeral so they can have the opportunity to experience it. However, word about the preparation for said funeral accidently gets out and as a result, Equestria believes that Twilight has died.

This story was inspired by the suggestion of a friend who wishes to remain anonymous.

Proofread by Titanium Dragon.

Discord has made it more than clear that he is in desperate need of one thing and one thing only.

A good f**k.

Thankfully, Princess Luna is more than happy to assist him with that.