): Recommendsday blogger, fic writer and all-around awesome chap TCC56 does too, and in his latestGhost Mike's Ponyfic Review Monday Musings #25 · 5:00pm Aug 22nd, 2022
Last batch of the stories for the Who Crossed Over My Little Pony? contest reviewed today. We’ll be back to a regular menagerie of fics from all over next week again.
That sure was an interesting three weeks, wasn’t it? I see now the effort faced by folks like Present Perfect when they review all entries in a given contest, and this one was only sixteen entries with a cumulative word count of just under 80K! Probably goes without saying it’ll be a long while before I review all entries in a contest again. I see why folks usually confine themselves to just the entries that placed plus honourable mentions, but I felt like giving all entries their due, to see if there were some overlooked entries. But yes, next time, I’ll likely just pluck those from a contest’s results.
Anyway, let’s get to the final batch. I have a little bonus regarding my final thoughts on these cartoon crossovers at the bottom.
This Week’s Spectral Stories:
Breach of Contract by JudgementalHat
Tom and Jerry: Everfree-For-All by TheLegendaryBillCipher
Rarity in Slumberland by Botched Lobotomy
How To Do A Cartoon Crossover by River Road
Gertie's Equestrian Tour by AlwaysDressesInStyle
Weekly Word Count: 33,058 Words
Breach of Contract by JudgementalHat
Genre: Comedy (Crossover)
Derpy
5,316 Words
April 2022Placed 3rd in the Who Crossed Over My Little Pony? Contest
It was meant to be her big coming-out moment. After dozens of episodes as an extra, and occasionally as the focal point of a visual gag, now Derpy was finally getting her first speaking role on the show. Yet things turned sour, the suits overreacted to viewer reaction, and she was promptly off the show, silent or otherwise.
While pondering this cruel fate, who should Derpy happen across, but a bipedal cartoon veteran, one with her own history of viewer and executive controversy that curtailed her popularity. Unwilling to let others suffer her own fate, Derpy ropes her new friends into a crusade for getting herself back on the air, and for better rights for Toons.
Amazingly, out of all sixteen entries, this is the only story playing the Animated Actors trope (y’know, the Roger Rabbit scenario). That alone is enough to make it stand out. The contest rules specified no non-toon humans, so this story is obliged to keep them offscreen, though they are alluded to (prominently a former Hasbro CEO). Accordingly, much of the humour here is meta commentary on corporate showmanship and Roger Rabbit-style toons’ commitment to their personalities even off-camera. Well, not Derpy and Betty so much, but the rest of Ponyville that forms the bulk of the story as the duo ask around for help? Absolutely.
That said, this story also threads a very fine needle between being a quest comedy with hilariously insane results at every turn, but also generating sympathy for Derpy and Betty Boop’s predicament in their determination against adversity. The former for a backstory tied to her actor form, the latter for how the Betty Boop series of cartoon shorts was neutered out of its quality by the Hayes Code back in the 30’s. Even readers with no knowledge of that part of film history (in brief, a blanket list of censorship rules that irrevocably softened content new and old – did you know it took 60+ years to reconstruct the original version of King Kong following cuts made for its 1938 re-release?) will pine via the Derpygate connection. And the final solution, incorporating a few clever nods at Derpy’s history following the controversy in The Last Roundup, sets this off on the right balance of comedy and pathos. It’s well-balanced in tone. Plus, other then one scene referring to the setting/characters of Betty’s shorts, almost no familiarity with her is required. Good thing, given how few people today have even heard of her, let alone seen any of her shorts.
There are a few quibbles that hold this one back from greatness. Some of the comic bits land a little softly, and a thread with Twilight and Applejack is left hanging without resolution. More notably, it’s murky how much of Ponyville and the ponies as on the show applies to them as actors here (there’s no reason this couldn’t have been set in a Toontown-type place rather than just having all of Equestria exist off camera), with several instances of ponies’ livelihoods being exactly as on FiM clashing with other instances of the opposite being true. Still, it’s a simple yet deftly-handled blend of comedy, meta humour (and the gentle, sincere variety at that), and pathos. Nice representation for the black-and-white toons!*
* As cartoons universally switched to colour at a time when most live-action films were still stuck in black-and-white, and this remained so for close to another fifteen years, hardly any black-and-white cartoons or their characters are all that famous today, relative to their contemporary success. Most people can hardly believe Felix was the world’s biggest cartoon star for a stretch, after all. Look, I’m an animation history nut, this matters to me.
Rating: Pretty Good
Tom and Jerry: Everfree-For-All by TheLegendaryBillCipher
Genre: Comedy (Crossover, w/Violence)
Fluttershy, Pinkie, Rarity, Applejack, Discord
3,396 Words
April 2022
At the same time that Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy are summoned by the Map to somewhere in Ponyville, a strange cat and mouse have stumbled upon the town. Walking on two legs except when moving all-out, the pair seem to be locked in an ongoing chase, with frequent bouts of quickly-forgotten pain. This might take a while to figure out…
Another case of more-or-less replicating a Tom and Jerry short in prose form, this one does add the wrinkle of having the time divided between them in chase around Ponyville, while Pinkie and Fluttershy search around for the Friendship Problem, noticing more and more ponies speaking of a cat chasing a mouse and the duo leaving chaos in their wake. And even the portions focused on the duo delight in getting aspects of Ponyville involved in ways that riff on tropes from their old cartoons. The use of some of the Mane 6’s pets as foils and obstacles is especially winning.
The story’s ending may be divisive too (let's just say it involves some sleight-of-hoof, though it does fit the genre, at least), and it certainly leaves it feeling like nothing but an excuse for some amusing-but-not-spectacular slapstick. That said, this slapstick is done competently and quickly (the short chapter and scene changes are very much to its advantage), and the broad feeling of both Tom and Jerry themselves, and how visual beats play out in their shorts, they’re captured here to good effect. A slight diversion, but an amusing one.
Rating: Decent
Rarity in Slumberland by Botched Lobotomy
Genre: Drama/Slice of Life (Crossover)
Rarity, Other
6,391 Words
April 2022Placed 1st in the Who Crossed Over My Little Pony? Contest
The decades may not have been kind to Rarity, but they’ve been even less kind to her passion. Fashion has long since become a mechanical industry, everything made by machine, with no creativity, spark, or inspiration in anything produced. With each and every one of Rarity’s attempts to keep going as she once did sinking her further, she’s resigned to being successful at something she hates.
At night, in her dreams, everything is different. Floating in a simple world of lines, lacking in colour, she comes across a large, curious gentle giant of a reptile. Befriending it and the strange disembodied voice that introduces her to Gertie – that’s the large creature – this shared dreamscape soom comes to not only be a pleasant, soothing escape from reality, but a guide on what to do next.
Describing experimental stories is not yet a forte of mine, so bear with me as I try to explain this one. It’s not that abstract, far from it, but it is far less plain and nondescript then my description above makes it seem. Believe me, it gives no pleasure to have simplified the core that much. This story is less about plot, or even character, then it is about lost and failed dreams, and the shifting cores of such over the generations. Much of the actual story that matters happens in the last chapter, but it recolors the text and mood to that point so much that not a moment feels wasted, even if I found the waking scenes more discomforting then anything. Which just proves the author did their job. As it happens, there’s a certain distance from the events in the waking chapters that serves to underscore how cold and alien they feel (fittingly, they largely only depict fragments that drive home the tragedy harder rather than a ‘normal’ chronological story, even if it is technically still one), and thus it is the dream chapters that feel the most real and tangible, even as we’re alternating with silent film title cards (and it is as effortless and seamlessly integrated as you could hope for) yet still tragic. It helps in both cases how immaculate Rarity’s voice, both speaking and thinking, is done, for this material could have easily been too cold and sterile (bit like the fashion therein, heh).
Of course, it’s that final chapter, where we learn more about Gertie and her creator, and how the path and history there mirrors that of Rarity’s, that it really hits home. How poetically suitable that this should be done through an appearance of one of the key forefathers of animation as we know it (watching the short isn’t necessary at all for the story, but I strongly encourage you to do; you’ll be amazed at the craftsmanship this early in film history, and in how readily the actions therein provoke the full gaumat of reactions). By incorporating animation history into the structure, and establishing links and heavy dramatic irony, Botched Lobotomy has turned was was a well-realised yet not exceptional depiction of one’s interest/career turning into something unrecognisable, and given it new meaning. It’s just a gimmick, yes, but what a gimmick!
Even given all that, perhaps the story’s best element is its open-ended nature in both a backwards and a forward sense: as told in the story and its long description, Windsor McCay grew to loathe the mass commercialisation of animation and effectively let himself be bought out of it. Yet that same medium brought Rarity to him now. Thus, despite all the pondering on eras changing faster than we can keep up, and who’s right or wrong for it, the choice to leave Rarity’s final action, of giving up or ploughing on to success, ends the story just perfectly.
To that point, I had been impressed for sure, but a little doubtful as to how this won the contest. Well, an ending that perfect really does leave a lasting impression, and while this isn’t my favourite story overall, it’s a narrow second, and certainly, of all sixteen, the one that most affected me. A drama winning a classic cartoon crossover, and a beautiful depiction of Rarity. A lovely reminder that animation – rarely the most surprising medium, both by its very nature and the crass commercialism inherent in most of it – can truly move us when it reaches for the impossible. Judging by this and winning the Gold Medal for the Experimental category in the recent Thousand Words Contest, Botched Lobotomy has the craft for offbeat stories of this ilk.
Rating: Really Good
How To Do A Cartoon Crossover by River Road
Genre: Comedy (Crossover)
Other, Sunny, Phyllis, Hitch
5,992 Words
April 2022
A cartoon crossover? Sure, why not. It’s what the powers that be are demanding. And given past success with mining ‘educational’ humour out of mandates from above by framing them as an instructional video, it seems only fitting to bring out the master of cartoon education. Fair be warned, though, he’s very enthusiastic, but can get in over his head at times.
Most of us have seen some of the How To… shorts involving Goofy, right? Well, it’s been a while for me, but that was no obstacle here, though you will be denied the feeling of immense impression at how impeccably River Road has captured the knowing, sardonic-yet-not-cynical tone of such a short here, down to an frustrated-yet-patient disembodied narrator. And the rest is just knowing winks, humour and chuckles.
When I say this story is showing us how to do cartoon crossovers, it isn’t just dropping Goofy in the world of A New Generation (yes, this has elected to use G5, and to great effect; given its release timeframe, just the film is used here, though judging by some jokes therein, that may have been the case no matter when this was written…). It gets started with many cartoon cameos before going Duck Amuck on us and running through ‘ways’ different cartoon universes are created. Where appropriate, poorer aspects are dismissed with the right level of idealistic cynicism, as it were. Goofy himself is kept in his mostly-silent incarnation, and truthfully we’re paired far more with the narrator and/or the ponies in various scenes than we are with him. A wise choice, it allows him to be the loveable, earnest yet clumsy goof that he is.
Did I mention the narrator speaks frequently with underlined text? Or that we get lots of title cards of our ‘progress’ through learning how to cross over characters/worlds? Or that this has hilarious after-events for most of the movie’s characters in both how they adjusted following the events there, and how they react/adapt to Goofy (a cameo by Sprout is especially amusing, but producing the best not-really-reformed Phyllis I’ve yet read might me the most impressive part)? Or that the crossovers continue in less obvious ways through to the end? I won’t spoil the final note. But this has lots of great ideas and touches throughout.
It’s a goofy lark, this, and one I fear I’ve done a very poor job of describing, much less making it seem appealing. Rest assured, it flows well, doesn’t come across as random but keeps a good comic energy level throughout, and is just all-around pleasurable, guaranteed to produce many delightful head shakes at Goofy’s actions and the various not-quite-sane ponies throughout. Hay, the almost parody-like tone (I say almost because this loves its source material so much it's more of an homage with some exaggeration) means this would work for folks who don’t like A New Generation. Certainly one of the contest’s strongest entries in evoking a given classic series of shorts whilst merging it with MLP, all the more so for making the crossover a part of the story process rather than just the events therein.
Rating: Pretty Good
Gertie's Equestrian Tour by AlwaysDressesInStyle
Genre: Comedy/Random (Crossover, w/Violence)
Cozy Glow, Petunia Petals, Mane 6, CMCs, Starlight
11,963 Words
April 2022
At a particularly boring debate on paneotalogy, Starlight Glimmer is egged on by a intrigued filly into reviving a dinosaur skeleton over 150 million years old via necromancy. Amazingly, it works, though when the dinosaur proceeds to eat everything it passes, with an overstuffed surplus of wry asides, obvious references, sly, cynical humour, and comic moments so random they threaten to burst the genre tag, all along for the ride… well, nopony said it was a good idea.
It’s honestly something of a miracle that this contest would birth two entries incorporating Gertie the Dinosaur. Obviously it’s not fair on this story to come right on that one’s heels (literally the next story to be published that day, as noted by the author), but other then the guest toon and both being primarily a Pony story with character(s) from other universe popping in, they are so wildly different that I had no trouble judging this as its own thing.
When I say the amount of randomness present here threatens to burst the story tag of such, I am, if anything, under-exaggerating. This is the equivalent of being high on coffee, jumping from burst to burst and from thread to thread, picking them up and dropping them like wildfire. Now, this is largely all done with purpose, and most characters, gags, locations or events either return for payoff later or form the basis for a lengthy enough section that, in retrospect, you can kind of see a semblance of a structure, at least in theory. And many of those gags and moments do work, even if the density of them relative to the word count is so high (this is a story where the description is largely a ‘wry’ narrator), that they tend to assimilate each other.
I admit, many of these gags are not really my preferred mode; pop-culture references tire fast, and potshots at various things, even MLP itself, have to be done far more carefully then here to get on my good side (the silent films title cards, done as actual pictures, are absolutes aces, proof enough the author came at all this with a proper plan of attack). We go from Petunia riding Gertie and delighting in having a dinosaur pet to numerous citizens being alarmed or not at structures and such getting eaten to Cozy getting set free and tagging along with the dinosaur after enduring much abuse from the Mane 6 to the CMC tagging along to get more cutie marks (oh, this is also a post Season 9 fic that quickly downgrades Twilight back to unicorn form) to a Ponyville stampede that gets in a snarky Mayor Mare cameo to a train ride holding Gertie herself that brings together all the foals in this story to a warped King Kong parody to to to… and if all that just muddled in your brain, I have accurately captured the experience of reading this story.
Believe it or not, I do respect what AlwaysDressesInStyle was going for here. They clearly believed in what they were doing, and did their homework, and thought about very nearly every gag and character being an accurate tribute or being adequately compatible with the source material. And I could have seen that working enough to make me admire and acknowledge the fic fine, granting random humour’s not an easy sell for me. Yet, there’s the dinosaur in the room.
This fic, somehow, is nearly 12,000 words long. I don’t mind telling you that barely 40% in, it had already reached “this needs to end, like now” territory. Yes, I complain about length a lot, but this story is at the bare minimum twice as long as it can keep going, never mind what it should be. There’s just no sustaining randomness of this ilk and with this whip-crack of a pace for this long. Maybe split into multiple chapters, it might have earned a little extra momentum, but this is one chapter with several drabble chapters serving as codas on a few running threads (and odd choices were made in which to use and which to never resolve). I haven’t experienced anything this indecently long relative to what it should be since The Hobbit trilogy. Is it too late to hope we can get a cut on the level of fan edits of Peter Jackson films?
There’s just enough bits in here that work enough to linger such that I can’t completely disregard it, but that length, combined with virtually no modulation, makes this an absolute chore to get through. And any story as ‘short’ as 12K, that has you checking how far you have to go that frequently, it has problems.
Rating: Weak
Spooky Summary of Scores:
Excellent: 0
Really Good: 1
Pretty Good: 2
Decent: 1
Passable: 0
Weak: 1
Bad: 0
As a bonus, let’s assume I was a judge for this contest (psst, regular contest runners/judges, I’m always available to help out with future ones 
). Here’s my own ranking of all the entries, categorised by my rating tiers. You can find them all here.
Really Good
- Tirek Season (2nd Place in the contest)
- Rarity in Slumberland (1st Place in the contest)
Quantum Schlep (Honourale Mention in the contest)
Pretty Good
- How To Do A Cartoon Crossover
- Breach of Contract (3rd Place in the contest)
“Trixie Rabbit”
Decent
- Nyardaffotep
- Strong to the Finnich
- Tom and Jerry: Everfree-For-All
- Speed Demon
The Dover Boys in the Forest, or a Pest in Ponyville
Passable
- When Tom Cat Met Angel Bunny
- A Lesson in Kindness
Pegasus Levitation (The Art of Equestrian Animation)
Weak
- Gertie’s Equestrian Tour
- Pony Season
That note about colorizing cartoons I found quite interesting. :O Had no idea!
Great set of reviews for this contest. :D
It still kind of absolutely fucks me up that the only (?) two stories to feature Gertie on the site came out within hours of each other. On the one hand, it's just genuinely a pretty startling coincidence, but on the other, super cool that the contest generated two of them! I know I'd never heard of the Gertie short (or McCay) before going digging for ideas. God knows how many times I've seen it now!
In any case, thank you for the kind words. The Rarity/McCay conversation really was the crux of the story, so I'm glad it landed for you!
Great contest, great reviews. The care put into each one really shows!
Nice to see that Gertie is not only remembered, but celebrated.