Langit at Lupa: Afterthoughts · 3:46am Sep 14th, 2020
So we've reached the end of Langit at Lupa. After the break are my short afterthoughts on the story.
The seed for this story began with Shachza's comment on Pamasak-Butas:
I'll say this: I'm a bit dismayed by Garlan's pessimism regarding ponies, despite thoroughly empathizing. I can only imagine how Equestria must seem to him after that bit of conversation. And yet, I can't help but wonder if he's also glossed completely over Equestria's history. Especially with what must have been a fairly dramatic crisis in the wake of Nightmare Moon's banishment, I can't help but wonder if maybe Equestria has already been through and recovered from the kind of situation he's used to, and so all he knows is the Equestria that finished clawing its way back long before his existence.
It's easy to forget how people got to where they are when you feel there's great disparity between their and your current situations.
While Langit at Lupa didn't touch upon Equestria that much, the comment touches upon the crux of this story: home. Some time after seeing this comment, I thought, "Yeah, it seems quite pessimistic, to be honest. Still, there could be some sort of happy ending for him, right?" And thus grew the seed that would be this story.
Compared to Pamasak, I didn't focus much on Earth's setting here, and it isn't just because a non-human is the main character. One thing I've noticed in hindsight was that Pamasak ended up self-indulgent: I was adding details about this and that because it was my country and it had some of my native language on it, and I was also adding pony characters here and there mostly because they were very Admiral Biscuit-y and I'd like to try it out (and it didn't help that it was, after all, an entry into the Admiral's Labor Day not-a-contest). The general theme of Pamasak sort of got lost in all of that self-indulgence.
In Langit, however, much of that self-indulgence is toned down for the sake of the story (so, yes, I consider this story much better than Pamasak). Instead, it's simply about a griffon's conflict between here and there, between Earth and Griffonstone. If I'd been American and wrote this in, say, Pittsburgh or New York City, only the setting would change; the main story would've been the same.
I think this was more down-to-earth than the last Equestrian-meets-Earth jog because while the main character was a griffon, his plight isn't that fantastical. The phenomenon of overseas workers is a thing I'm very much aware of since hundreds of thousands of fellow Filipinos live overseas and many of them work in countries that are better than their homeland economically/materially speaking: Canada, the States, Japan, and Spain, among others—sending money back home to help their families and friends, for one.
However, part of the story comes from a personal feeling I've had: the grass being greener on the other side. I am by no means materially poor, but I've met a self-described "poor" person from America online and they were already on what I consider to be a middle-class level over here—not to mention how easy it is to set up a small-time business over there (and even more so depending on the state). Naturally, it's easy for me to covet, easy for me to want to go to the other side and work there if I'm able so there'd be more money: not to mention hearing about the American Dream and being in the land of the free, where much great art and so on is made and there's lots of nice people who speak in a language I am more proficient in than my own native tongue.
But there's a cost to it; there's always a catch. If I somehow move there or somewhere else for a better living, I'd have to lose something: neighbors and the society that molded me in the first place. It wouldn't be my land and my country; it'd be someone else's land and country and I'd only be comfortable if that place became my new homeland. To top it all off, it'd most likely be a selfish move: I certainly wouldn't be going to America or Canada to help the host country up (otherwise, I'd be signing up for their military), but to help myself up.
While Garlan's circumstances are different, some of that personal conflict of mine is found in his: be in another country where opportunities are relatively limitless or stay at home where the going's relatively tougher but you're in a familiar place with familiar people?
In the end, working with three people in the end increased my satisfaction over the story: it feels very polished, and I got a good gauge on what rang well and what didn't.
For example, the time in Griffonstone should've originally been longer, but it was cut down because it was decided that it should end on a high note while it's as high as possible—and to make things ambiguous as to whether Garlan would end up staying permanently or not (or maybe a third option). I wouldn't have decided on this without the help of the people who collaborated for this project.
As far as I'm concerned, there isn't much left for any sequel or any other related story or even an Equestrian-meets-Earth fic from me in the near future. I'm already swamped with revisions for Their Darker Purpose (and I still might try a very short story here or there before the year ends). I hope to finish my second pass of revisions for TDP before late October; after that will be pre-reading for that story and, finally, revising that Crystal War story I was cooking up since last year.
Edit: If you like what I have to offer story-wise, perhaps you may like to buy me a coffee.
That will be it for now. I hope you enjoyed the story, and may you have a good day!
Yes, I've enjoyed *all* of your stories so far, and am trying to catch up. I think one of the reasons I have trouble writing about life where I am is the same reason fish would have trouble describing water, but you do it so well.
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Part of the magic comes from simply living in a place that isn't well-known to most people here. It's especially so with Pamasak where there was much of a tour-guide feeling to it because there were a couple of things that wouldn't be so apparent to the average Fimfiction reader. It's actually done less for Langit because it's coming from the perspective of a foreigner (to the country and to Earth in general).
Still, if you have a friend or some contact who lives outside your town or state/region/province, a simple conversation talking about your respective places would be a good start to figure out the details to point out to readers. I've had a few short chats like that during the editing process for this story: for one, it turns out that cousins/relatives coming over (relatively) unannounced/sponatenously isn't as well-received in the States as it is here where there's a bigger focus on the family (specifically extended family/filial community).
And thank you for enjoying my stories! It's an honor to have you along. Remember that Ot Writeoff thing? I think we first met there when I reviewed your entry for that (Kill The Bugs).