Riff of the Leaked Season Finale Pt 1 · 3:55am Oct 8th, 2017
So, looks like some careless writers Russian hackers have revealed the scripts for the season finale, plus Faust's original show bible. If true, this would represent one of the biggest breaches of corporate secrecy since those Sony movies that nobody gave a shit about were hacked by North Korea. Well, then I guess there was also Target losing all of their customers' credit card information... but who cares! Ponies are much more important!
Looks like Fillydelphia was supposed to play a much bigger role in the show.
Ponies from neighboring towns and cities visit to shop for fresh fruit and vegetables, unique merchandise and to witness special events at the Fillydelphia Stable Center Sports Arena and Show Ring.
This SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY! At the Fillydelphia Stable Center Sports Arena! Witness the riffing of the season finale by me, CartsBeforeHorses, before it's even out! And watch the show's last vestiges of honor TUMBLE DOWN!
SC 1 - FADE UP ON AN ANCIENT book
"Up on" huh? Off to a great start already!
Starswirl (V.O.)
The best elements within us can spread light and virtue, and I know ponies who represent them all: strength, bravery, healing, beauty, hope, and sorcery.
Also smithing, woodcutting, and accounting. They don't mention those guys, though.
stARSWIRL (V.O.)
Myself, and these Pillars of Equestria were gathered together by another to maintain and share the light of these powerful ideals...
StARSWIRL (V.O.)
But we soon came to believe the pony who brought us together, only wanted that power for himself.
And your little dog, too!
STARSWIRL (V.O.)
Cast out and alone, this power-mad pony turned to darkness to satisfy his thirst.
starSWIRL (V.O.)
Transformed into a Pony of Shadows, he returned for revenge - to extinguish the Pillars' light and rob the world of hope.
Wait, Pony of Shadows? Is this like Sombra, or is it another badly-designed OC?
StARSWIRL (v.O.)
To stop him, the Pillars and I must make a grave sacrifice.
StaRSWIRL
StArSwIrL!!11!!1one!!
But we shall leave behind a seed in hopes that one day it will grow into a force to stand against the darkness for all time.
StARSWIRL (CONT'D)
We must now face the fiend with the only plan we have...
Sc 2 - Int. Canterlot castle - throne room - day
SUNBURST
"...I only hope it will be enough."
SuNBURST (CONT'D)
That's the last entry. And maybe Starswirl's final words before he vanished.
Not quite. His last words were actually, "Hey nurse, could you empty my bedpan?"
END TEASER
MAIN TITLES
ACT ONE
Sc 3 - Int. Canterlot castle - throne room - resUME
I sure wouldn't include this on MY resume if I were the writer. This cat fails basic English comp hardcore, yo.
Celestia
I've always wondered what happened to Starswirl. This is quite a discovery, Sunburst.
TwiLIGHT
So it's genuine? You can verify that this journal really belonged to Starswirl the Bearded!?
"So this leak is genuine? You can verify that some careless writer set his password to "password?"
LuNA
Indeed. From the looks of it, the last thing he wrote before facing the Pony of Shadows.
RaINBOW DASH
Uh... So, the Pony of Shadows was really real?
CelESTIA
It appears so.
LuNA
We never met the other Pillars, and we were too young to understand the danger they faced.
You know, unlike our target demographic of eight year old girls who can immediately tell that "dark pony = bad pony."
ApPLEJACK
Hold on. All those legendary ponies were real too? And they went off with Starswirl to face the Pony of Shadows and then none of them were ever heard from again?
Sorry Applejack, I can't hear you through your thick country accent and southernisms.
PinKIE PIE
Ah... yeah. Weren't you listening?
FlUTTERSHY
But what happened to them all?
"I get dialogue, too!"
RarITY
They must have defeated the villain, since Equestria is still full of light and hope.
"Light and hope is the new black, you know."
stARLIGHT
But how? And where did they go?
CelESTIA
My Olde Ponish
sigh
is a bit rusty, but I wonder if the answers can be found somewhere within the pages of this book.
TWILIGHT
Well, I just happened to be an expert in Olde Ponish. I mean, I've practically memorized every ancient text about Starswirl there is...
So wait. Celestia, who lived for thousands of years, doesn't remember how to speak a language she would've had to be conversant in, but TWILIGHT knows it? MARY SUE ALERT!
SpIKE
Seriously. All of them.
She binge-read them all on Hoofflix and made me listen.
LuNA
We have fond memories of our old teacher. If you could discover what happened to him, we would be most grateful.
SUNBURST
Solving a thousand-year-old mystery could take forever! Think of the research, the re-reading, the re-re-reading...
And what if the Ancient Aliens were involved, then we have to call in the History Channel...
CelESTIA
You might find you need help.
ApPLEJACK
Luckily, she's got a whole bushel of helpers right here.
RaINBOW DASH
Totally! Um... how long will all this research take, exactly?
As if Rainbow Dash would honestly be doing any of it.
TWILIGHT
Let's get this back to my library. I'm sure we'll figure out what happened in no time.
Sc 4 - Int. TwILIGHT'S CASTLE – library - night
SpIKE
Figure it out yet, Twilight?
"Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
SuNBURST
Wha-WHAT? What did you figure out?
PinKIE PIE
You figured something out?
FluTTERSHY
What is it?
TELL US GOD DAMMIT!!!
TwILIGHT
Nothing. I mean, Starswirl was a genius, obviously, but forget Olde Ponish. There's parts where his hornwriting is like another language!
Hey, at least he wasn't an earth pony. Their mouthwriting is nearly illegible.
apPLEJACK
Twilight, we've been studyin', and referencin', and cross referencing for three days straight now.
"Can we PLEASE take a break already?
RainBOW DASH
Ugh. I haven't spent this much time reading since the last Daring Do book came out.
Take a look, it's in a book, it's reading Rainbow!
RarITY
Perhaps it is time to take a break. This mystery is over a thousand years old, after all. Another day or two won't make a difference!
Seriously. It wasn't like the story established a sense of urgency here. Don't Twilight's friends all have jobs and stuff they need to get to? Sweetie Belle has been trapped in a ball of thread at Carousel Boutique for three days now!
TWILIGHT
Two days?! I don't want to waste two seconds. I'm close to an answer. I can feel it.
StaRLIGHT
"Hearg sylfum se Ponhenge," What's that?
Sounds like Welsh. Those guys were short a few vowels, too.
TwILIGHT
The Temple of Ponhenge?! You can read that?!
"Yeah, I studied Old Ponish during my time in Town Brainwashing School!"
STARLIGHT
The hornwriting's pretty sloppy, but it's nowhere near as bad as mine. "Toward dol grimlic of fola firgenbeorg?"
SuNBURST
At the base of Foal Mountain...
STARLIGHT
"User endemest scield..."
Zieg heil!
TwILIGHT
Our last stand.
Spike
God, could they at least be consistent in capitalizing names? This is confusing. It looks like Twilight said, "Spike."
Well, that sure sounds like a clue to me.
Sc 5 - est. foal mountain - Ponhenge - night
Sc 6 - Ext. Ponhenge - night
TwILIGHT
This is it. Ponhenge. I can't believe it.
Ponhenge? Don't you mean, Ancient PonianHenge?
sunBURST
I've never seen magical runes like these before. Have you?
RaiNBOW DASH
I don't think anypony's seen any of this for a long time.
"You know, except for the thousands of tourists who visit every year."
ApPLEJACK
It'd take a whole team of ponies to clear away all this brush.
I smell a montage coming!
FluTTERSHY
Even then, I'm not sure we'd find out what happened here a thousand years ago.
TWILIGHT
You're right. I suppose it was a long shot.
A long shot, just like Las Pegasus... what, too soon?
SpIKE
Cheer up, Twilight. Finding a whole set of ancient ruins is pretty impressive. Maybe you could write a paper on it!
"And you could write it in Old Ponish to further limit its appeal!"
TWILIGHT
I guess I hoped we'd get here and the mystery would just magically be explained.
I was sure hoping that this plot would be magically explained, but my hopes were let down too.
SPIKE
Ah... Twilight?
TWILIGHT
Starswirl!? I-- I've wanted to meet you my whole life. I can't believe you're here--
SuNBURST
I don't think he is here. I don't think any of them are.
"It's only the Ponirror of Ponerised, Harry Poner."
Pony of shadows
You summon me at your peril, Starswirl. Once I defeat all of you, this realm will embrace the darkness as I did so long ago.
Now excuse me while I go gather my equally badass and dark, edgy ally, Shadow the Hedgehog!
PONY OF SHADOWS (CONT'D)
Drawing me here will only make me stronger. You will never defeat me!
You heard him, animators! Quit drawing him here!
StaRSWIRL
We did not come here to defeat you...
PONY OF SHADOWS
What are you doing?!
STARSWIRL
We came to contain you.
This episode of Game of Pones is really engaging.
PinKIE PIE
Well, you did ask for a magical explanation.
END ACT ONE
ACT TWO
Sc 7 - Ext. Ponhenge - resume
RainBOW DASH
Uh... What just happened?
starLIGHT
It looked like Starswirl cast a spell that banished the Pony of Shadows.
SuNBURST
Of course! Powerful magic like that would leave an impression on this place.
Magic confirmed for radiation. Ponehenge confirmed for Chernobyl.
Bringing the book back here let us see what happened.
ApPLEJACK
Which was what?
TwILIGHT
Starswirl and the rest of the Pillars sacrificed themselves to save Equestria.
Pohn 3:16!
Sc 8 - Est. TwILIGHT'S CASTLE – DAY
Wow, that was short.
Sc 9 - Int. TwILIGHT'S CASTLE – DAY
Starlight
It's amazing to think one of the greatest mysteries of Equestria was solved with a musty old book from an antique shop.
That's okay, Starlight. The writers don't understand it, either.
SuNBURST
But I wouldn't say the mystery's solved. Starswirl's spell was one of the most powerful feats of magic in all of history. It'll take years of study before we fully understand it.
"Alright everypony, back to work!"
Sc 10 - Int. TwILIGHT'S CASTLE – liBRARY - conTINUOUS
TwILIGHT
I think I understand Starswirl's spell!
You sure? Last time you said that, you ended up switching everypony's cutie mark.
Sc 11 - Int. TwILIGHT'S CASTLE – map room - later
TwILIGHT
I know I've finished one of Starswirl's spells before but this one was on a whole different level!
"They'll have to give me THREE sets of wings this time!"
TwILIGHT (CONT'D)
Was it an explosion of magical feedback? An evocation? A kind of incantation?
Prestidigitation? Confabulation?
It's Starswirl, so the possibilities are endless! And once Starlight set me on the right track with his crazy hornwriting -- I mean, he was a genius, so I guess we can forgive a little messiness -- I went through the journal again and it's amazing!
RarITY
Twilight, darling, we understand you're excited, but that's all we understand.
Twilight, this is an intervention. You've been awake for five days straight. It's time to give it a rest.
RaiNBOW DASH
What exactly is so amazing?
"Other than me, you know."
TwILIGHT
Only how Starswirl and the other Pillars sent the Pony of Shadows to limbo!
ApPLEJACK
They did what now?
TWILIGHT
They used their magic to open a portal between worlds, to limbo, and pulled the Pony of Shadows inside.
Then Dante wrote a book about it, and then somebody else made a shitty video game about it.
RariTY
Darling, your diorama!
TWILIGHT
I made more.
"Because apparently art is now my special talent, too!"
TwILIGHT (CONT'D)
Starswirl thought the only way to trap the Pony of Shadows in limbo was for the Pillars to take him there.
ApPLEJACK
So they got stuck too.
Now they all go-kart race around a circle for all eternity with Bowser.
FlutTERSHY
The Pony of Shadows must have been really awful for them to do that.
PinKIE PIE
I suppose being trapped for all time with a super-duper bad guy in limbo might be okay if you were doing the limbo - but that's still pushing it.
"Or they could also listen to 'I wish it was Christmas everyday'!
TwILIGHT
The thing is, I think I can get them out.
SuNBURST
Twilight, are you serious? You can save the most legendary ponies of all time?
"We can save the Pillar ponies with their hissstory!"
StarLIGHT
I don't know. Opening portals between worlds didn't work out well for me. Are you sure it's safe?
TwILIGHT
First of all you opened portals through time. And second of all, Starswirl wrote the spell you used to do it. If he'd been here, he could have stopped it. Equestria will be safer with him in it. We have to save him.
We can finally catch a break! Think, somepony else could finally save Equestria while we're all at the spa!
ApPLEJACK
But you'd be savin' all the Pillars, right? And they disappeared ages ago.
TWILIGHT
That's the thing about limbo. It isn't one place or another. It's in between, so time stands still.
One of the best Rush songs, btw.
If we can pull them out, it'll be like they never left. I actually built another model to demonstr--
SpIKE
What can we do to help?
"Nothing, Spike. Only the unicorns get to do anything cool in this show anymore."
TWILIGHT
If I'm right, we need to find items that are connected to the Pillars in some way.
RaiNBOW DASH
You mean, like, stuff that belonged to them?
"I think my lucky Wonderbolts jock strap hasn't been washed in a thousand years, if that counts?"
FlUTTERSHY
How would we know what to look for? Or where?
TWILIGHT
Luckily, Starswirl took a lot of notes...
"And pointless checklists, too! A stallion after my own heart."
TwILIGHT (CONT'D)
...my compatriots are as varied as the realm itself and hail from every corner of our land, bringing with them artifacts and talismans of great power...
StarlIGHT
Um, Twilight, what are you doing?
TWILIGHT
I'm not doing anything!
ApPLEJACK
Rockhoof's shovel!
RaINBOW DASH
Flash Magnus' shield!
Thor's hammer!
RarITY
Mistmane's flower.
FluTTERSHY
Meadowbrook's mask.
PiNKIE PIE
And the blindfold Somnambula wore when she faced that nasty sphinx!
It was a piñata.
TwILIGHT
Well that’s one thing we don’t have to worry about.
Sc 12 - EST. ROCKHOOF'S VILLAGE site – DAY
Sc 13 - EXT. Archeological dig – DAY
petunia paleo
i dont need capitalization either lol
Professor! It's a Mighty Helm headpiece! Maybe it belonged to Rockhoof himself!
Professor Fossil
OMG! My OC Professor Fossil from Brother Against Sister is now Canon!
Legends don't wear helmets.
You know, except for Commander Hurricane who LITERALLY WORE A HELMET.
This belonged to a real pony.
APPLEJACK (o.S.)
Oh, I can guarantee Rockhoof was as real as you and me.
PROFESSOR FOSSIL
And I suppose that ravine was dug with his trusty shovel to save the village from an erupting volcano.
What's the village called? Ponpeii?
APPLEJACK
Probably.
PROFESSOR FOSSIL
I love old legends as much as anypony - but a pony strong enough to save a village from rushing lava with a shovel is preposterous!
"I mean, come on, the writers don't let earth ponies do anything spectacular!"
ProFESSOR FOSSIL
I can't believe you just did that. You saved us!
ApPLEJACK
I bet if you told somepony else the story it might sound preposterous.
There isn't any context here, but I'm just imagining Applejack bucking a giant apple falling from the sky or something.
PROFESSOR FOSSIL
I suppose some stories might be true...
"Like Bighoof! Nopony believed me when I said he was real!"
PrOFESSOR FOSSIL
And Rockhoof's appears to be one of them.
Sc 14 - EST. botanical gardens - day
Sc 15 - Int. boTANICAL GARDENS - conTINUOUS
This must be what it's like to watch the show when you're blind.
Sc 16 - Int. boTANICAL GARDENS - center - conTINUOUS
RARITY
OW!
Old gardener (o.S.)
You keep those hooves to yourself, dearie!
That's assault with a deadly weapon, if, you know, Equestria had any law enforcement to speak of.
OlD GARDENER (CONT'D)
This place has been in my family for generations, and I'm not about to let some whippersnapper take the last good piece of it. Time was, ponies came from far and wide to see these gardens. But that flower's the only worthwhile thing left.
"And that damn Mario keeps taking it!"
A MONTAGE
END MONTAGE
RarITY
Perhaps it just seemed like your gardens were worthless, but a little pruning can work wonders. Of course you will have to look after more than just one flower now.
Wait, so now Rarity's special talent is gardening and making plants grow? Should we expect to see Applejack making dresses now?
OLD GARDENER
You've given me back my family's legacy. The flower you wanted seems like a fair trade for that.
Sc 17 - EXT. DRAGONLANDS – DAY
RainBOW DASH
I can't believe Flash Magnus' shield ended up in the Dragon Lands.
I can't believe it either... Wait, why not?
SpiKE
Good thing you brought the Official
Equestrian Friendship Ambassador To
The Dragons to help you navigate our customs. Like our favorite sport - gorge surfing!
Eh, I prefer binge waverunning.
Sc 18 - Ext. Dragonlands - edge of ravine - continUOUS
RainBOW DASH
Okay. That was awesome.
Dragon 1
Dragon Lord Ember commanded us to make peace with ponies, but it doesn't mean you can surf in our spot.
SpIKE
Whoa! Fellas. As the Official
Equestrian Friendship Ambassador To
The Dragons I have to say, that's not very friendly.
"I'm going to be lodging a formal diplomatic complaint about this!"
Garble (o.S.)
Well, what do you know? The puny, pony dragon's sticking up for his pony pal.
rainBOW DASH
Hey! That's an ancient pony artifact.
It deserves to be abused in a far sillier manner!
GaRBLE
Hooves off my gorge board! I found it in the desert and finder's keepers.
rainBOW DASH
It isn't yours.
GARBLE
Huh. It sure looks like mine. But, I might consider racing you for it.
"I was going to have a pie eating contest with you for it, but that was before the scriptwriter switched you and Pinkie around."
RainBOW DASH
No problem.
GARBLE
Um... no. I mean you.
DraGON 1
On your marks... Get set... Surf!
SpIKE
WHAAAOOOOOAAAA!
Good luck reading that one, Cathy Weseluck.
Sc 19 - ext. DraGONLANDS - ravine - continUOUS
SpIKE
I won? I won! WOOO-HOOO! Give up the shield, Garble.
GarBLE
Lord Ember only commanded us to be nice to ponies. She never said anything about pony-loving dragons.
A jerk failing to live up to his promises? The shock!
END ACT TWO
ACT THREE
Sc 20 - EXT. DRAGONLANDS - rAVINE - resume
SpIKE
Since Dragon Lord Ember commanded you to make peace with ponies, you can't very well attack one of their friends, can you?
GarBLE
I guess we'll find out!
GaRBLE (CONT'D)
ARRRGGGHH!
GARBLE (CONT'D)
Ugh. Why is he always hiding behind ponies?
A pony loving dragon hiding behind ponies? Color Garble shocked.
SpIKE
I wasn't hiding when I beat you down the ridge.
GARBLE
You fell.
RainBOW DASH
Wow, you must be slow, if all Spike had to do to win was fall down.
You're gonna need some ice for that burn, Garble! Oh wait, no you won't, you're a dragon so you'll be fine.
GARBLE
I'm faster than you.
RAINBOW DASH
Doubt it.
GARBLE
Fine. I'll race you back to the top. If you win, you can have your pony junk. But if I win, you'll leave and I get to give it to him!
He already didn't keep his word once; why would you trust him again?
RAINBOW DASH
Fine. I'm pretty sure I could beat you anyway, but with that heavy hunk of metal on your back, it'll be a snap.
GARBLE
Huh? Oh yeah. Thanks for the tip.
He makes Rainbow Dash look like a scholar.
GarBLE (CONT'D)
See ya at the top, loser!
GARBLE (CONT'D)
Hey! That's mine!
spIKE
Finders keepers, remember?
DrAGON 1
See, because that's what you said to them when they first showed up and--
See, because I explain every joke in my riff, and--
Sc 21 - Ext. hayseed swamp - day
FlUTTERSHY
Just remember not to turn away from them, Cattail. Flash bees can get pretty aggressive.
"And don't even get me started on Africanized flash bees!"
I guess that's why none of the other bayou animals can get to the water.
CATTAIL
Wouldn't it make more sense for you to wear the mask that calms the bees?
FLUTTERSHY
It would--
FlUTTERSHY (CONT'D)
--if I didn't have to fly up here to move their hive. There!
Hey, while you're up there, can you grab the context for this scene, too?
FLUTTERSHY (CONT'D)
Now the other bayou creatures can get to the water without the bees feeling threatened.
CaTTAIL
You know, you didn't have to help with this. I would’ve lent you the mask anyway.
FLUTTERSHY
Sc 22 - Int. Pyramid near somnambula - day
Villager
I don't think anypony can find anything in there.
"You know, apart from those priceless artifacts I looted earlier."
Daring Do
I wouldn't give up hope just yet.
PINKIE PIE
This old blindfold was stuck in the drain.
"How convenient!"
DARING DO
Weren't you looking for a blindfold?
PINKIE PIE
Oh, yeah!
So we have Rainbow Dash at the dragons, and Pinkie Pie with Daring Do. You know, I was joking earlier, but maybe their parts were switched.
Sc 23 - EXT. PONHENGE – DAY
twiLIGHT
I can't believe I'm going to meet Starswirl the Bearded - you know, outside of my
wet
dreams.
STARLIGHT
I can't believe you're actually going through with it.
TwILIGHT
What do you mean?
StarlIGHT
I'm all for pushing the envelope, obviously,
"Every chance I get!"
but this is pretty out there for you, Twilight.
SuNBURST
What's "out there" about saving the most legendary ponies of all time from a thousands year-old prison?
It'll be more tear-jerking than when they saved those Chilean miners!
StARLIGHT
Well, nothing when you say it like that.
StaRliGHT (CONT'D)
Unless... "the most legendary ponies of all time" knew what they were doing, and we shouldn't mess with it.
"I mean, for all we know they could be enjoying their eternal damnation!"
SunbURST
I'm sure Starswirl and the Pillars did the best they could back then, but magic has come a long way - mostly because of the work they did.
StarlIGHT
That's true. And you did get your wings from finishing one of Starswirl's spells...
To the eternal shame of the show.
TwILIGHT
Exactly.
StarlIGHT
But, then I messed with one and nearly destroyed the universe, so...
Once again the writers magnify Starlight's crimes. From calling her a "dictator", and now she threatened the entire UNIVERSE? Pretty sure the Dragons, for instance, could've handled Flim and Flam just fine.
TwILIGHT
Starlight, Starswirl the Bearded is the greatest wizard who ever lived. The chance to have him back in Equestria is worth the risk.
"Dear Princess Celestia: I didn't learn anything!"
SpIKE (o.S.)
That's good news.
RaiNBOW DASH
Otherwise, we'd have brought this shield for nothing!
ApPLEJACK
I hope you don't think you're the only one to find her artifact, because this here shovel says otherwise.
RaRITY
Honestly, you two. Not everything is a competition. Buuut Mistmane's flower is by far the most attractive of the artifacts.
PiNKIE PIE
You're just saying that because you didn't have to scuba dive in a pit of green slime to get yours.
"I mean, Daring Do did all the work, but still.
FlUTTERSHY
Or move a Flash Bee hive.
TwILIGHT
Good work everyone. Let's do this!
Wait, you're not going to brag, too?
STARSWIRL
What-- What has happened?
TWILIGHT
It worked! We brought you back.
StarsWIRL
To where?
What, you don't recognize the tree castle that YOU planted?
TWILIGHT
You and the others have been trapped in limbo for a thousand years, but I figured out how to get you ho--
STARSWIRL
What!? No, no, no, no-- You must undo what you've done!
TWILIGHT
What? Why? I mean, I don't think I can.
STARSWIRL
You cannot bring us back--
TWILIGHT
But I did. I brought all the Pillars back.
STARSWIRL
You cannot bring only the Pillars back...
TWILIGHT
Oh, no...
"That's okay, I'll fix it and then Celestia will abdicate the throne for me!
Alright, stay tuned for part 2 of the riff.
Hold up, the show bible got leaked?
4690834
Yep
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/201654/we-hate-whats-happened-to-mlp/thread/336623/its-falling-apart#comment/6146854
BTW you enjoying my riff so far?
4690834 Just the Old Testament.
4690846
Ba dum tiss
4690845
Oh, I... am not reading it. Haha, sorry. Thpoilerth!
4690845 Welp, I can safely say that with this spoiled for me, and how badly it is so far, I am going to say that this show has gone to shit.
God, could they at least be consistent with the—
—oh, he already said it. Seriously though, how can they be this inconsistent?
4691625
I get the sense that they typed this up in about 30 minutes as fast as they could. Which is why the plot makes no sense.
4691629
If only. If only. I don’t give them that much credit.
…hey, the document is a PDF, right? Check whether the names were meant to be formatted differently like, say, they were meant to be in a font that is all‐caps but you don’t have it. That’s the only reasonable explanation I can come up with that doesn’t include the writer(s) being some combination of blind and mentally impaired.
4691640
Ah, alright. I just checked the PDF and indeed, the capitalization is consistent in there. For whatever reason it fucked up when I copied it into a word document. Weird.
you still have the pdf? Seems like none of the links work anymore.