The Best of All Possible Worlds: Today's Panic Attack is Sponsored by the Letter "K" · 7:09am Nov 12th, 2012
OOC:
When I originally started writing Chapter 23, I had a whole lot of hints in there about the identity of the mysterious "K".
But eventually it occurred to me that you all are smart enough to figure it out without any language lessons about how "the Equine for 'spy' is an abbreviation for 'secret pie'," or any of that other business. I will, however, leave you with the long version of the war of words between the author and translator that I was originally going to use:
IC:
Author’s Note:
The reader may be wondering why one of the characters in the following section of this story is addressed with the odd name of “K”. The reason is that this name is a pseudonym, a protection against an unspeakable atrocity.
“Who Guards the Guardians?” is the most significant journalistic exposé in the history of Equestria. It was written by Firefly II for the Canterlot Tribunal, published in eight parts from 18 to 25 Autumn 6926, collected into a best-selling book that was released the following year, and it quite-justifiably earned its author a Pullet Surprise that year. (The author got a Pullet Surprise once—those chickens can dance!) It launched a very public investigation by the Equestrian Senate, and was directly responsible for at least two dozen laws in the decade following its publication.
The work was written using pseudonyms for all of the individuals profiled, but the identity of the “Mountain Clan” has been public knowledge for decades. What has remained a secret, and will likely remain a secret for centuries to come, is the identity of the “J” family, the Mountain Clan’s victims in their despicable experiments over the course of untold millennia. Because of the permanent alterations that had been done to them, the J family could no longer be strictly considered as ponies, although they passed for normal to all but the most rigorous of inspections. For that reason, when Princess Celestia liberated them from their vile bondage, she made a vow to eternally protect their anonymity, to guarantee their right to live their lives as normally as possible. For this reason, all public and historical records were altered to prevent their identification, with the truth restricted to archives with the highest of all possible security clearances.
That is the reason why the true name of “K” must never be revealed.
The Translator’s Rebuttal
I suspect that few to none of the human readers of this story feel as much revulsion for anything as a pony feels for breed changing. I mean, in the past in America you had blacks “passing for white”, but nowadays we tend to see little morally wrong with that, and might even be inclined to cheer on such a subversion of the distasteful practices of the past.
Ideally, ponies view earth ponies, unicorns and pegasi as being strictly equal. In practice, they tend to think of their own breed as being ever so slightly superior to the other two, but of course they would never express this opinion out loud.
Despite the fact that any pony pregnancy can result in a foal of any breed, the breed a pony is born into is held as something important, something sacred. A pony believes they are the breed they are for a reason, just the same as the cutie mark they eventually receive is theirs for a reason. The idea of changing either of these would offend a pony to their very core.
At least, that is the opinion of the majority, and the opinion of the author. As for me, I think life is a bit more complicated, and so are ponies.
When I got this chapter, it read like the transcript of an Afterschool Special. The morality was ridiculously monochrome, and the judgment rendered against the “Mountain Clan” by the author was so extreme as to actually make a good case for the other side.
I have read the same source documents as the author, and I think they support the conclusion that things were nowhere near as simple as she would have you believe. Therefore, I have presented this scene the way that I think they would have gone. If you truly think that I have distorted history, let me know.
Now, with all of that ponderous text out of the way, let’s get back to pony politics.
OOC:
P.S. If you're wondering why Royal Order 1895, look that number up in Pantone.
So that's where Pinkie Pie comes from.
Yeah, kinda figured that they were Pinkie's ancestors.
k
At least I think I understand.
Hopefully.
Wait, 'K' and 'J'? Min in Black joke?