Thoughts on the 2012 fanfic "The Last Crusade" · 5:55pm Aug 5th, 2023
Somehow, I had never known about this fic before now. If you haven't read it yet and don't want to be spoiled, don't bother reading the rest of this post.
This is a very highly regarded story, and I can understand why, with all of the emotions on display. Very good job, Paradigm Shine (aka Slitherpon of the Moody Mark Crusaders fancomic, fka Paraderpy).
However...I read through all of the comments, but I didn't find anybody with the same opinion as me: it's too short.
I'm not talking about all of the people who wanted a sequel. (A sequel? She moves on! How do you write a sequel to that!?) What I mean is that the story as written seems to me to be a catharsis, where Sweetie Belle in particular can come to terms with saying goodbye to Apple Bloom. And to have a good catharsis, you have to build up to it.
So, I'm going to outline how I think this story should go:
Instead of Season 3 as the setting--which is when the original story was written--I'm going with Season 4. We start with Apple Bloom's funeral, with the oration by Princess Twilight Sparkle. She stumbles over her words in her grief. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle have snuck into the barn where this is taking place. They have been forbidden to come, and they don't really understand what is going on. Applejack is called upon to say something, but instead she lays into Twilight for botching the speech. Sweetie and Scoots decide to leave the funeral. They go to the Clubhouse, where they try to figure things out. Apple Bloom has been sick for months, and then she left. Scoots decides that Bloom must have been sent to a better hospital. She is interrupted by the ghost of Apple Bloom. End Chapter 1.
Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle do pretty well with the news, but that's because they just think that this is some sort of transformation caused by the illness. Apple Bloom is being tight-lipped about what's really going on. When she's asked why didn't go to the funeral, she says it's because she can't let Princess Twilight find her. She tells them that she's here for a reason: she's going to get them their cutie marks.
Now the rest of the story is going to be their wacky adventures chasing after their marks. Only Scoots and Sweetie can see Bloom. Gradually they discover the extent of Bloom's ghost powers and weaknesses. And this is all supposed to be bittersweet, with the emphasis on the sweet.
At one point they will ask Bloom why they can see her and nopony else. Bloom guesses it's because of their lack of a cutie mark, as animals and foals can also see her. She recounts dim memories of seeing her parents after they died, watching over the family until Applejack, Big Mac and the rest finally moved on from their grief.
At the same time as the CMC plot, there would be hints and snippets of overheard conversations that would fill in what's going on in the adult world. Applejack is absolutely broken about the fact that she's had her little sister taken away from her after losing her parents, in a world where apparently nopony else ever has to go through tragedies like hers. She declares her hatred for Celestia, or whoever else created Equestria, and renounces her Element. "Maybe a world where big sisters have to bury their younger sisters is not a world worth saving." Most of all, she hates Twilight Sparkle. Twilight became an alicorn on the very day when Apple Bloom collapsed, never to wake up. In Applejack's mind, Twilight's immortality was paid for with her sister's life.
Twilight is only barely holding it together through this story. She never asked to become an alicorn. She never asked to outlive her friends. And worst of all her new powers allow her to see way more of Equestria, horrors that she never wanted to know about. In particular, she can see the dead.
It turns out there are plenty of ghosts in Ponyville. They stay in dark corners, wallowing in self-loathing. Bloom starts wanting to help these ghosts to find peace and move on, all while running away from Princess Twilight. The Crusaders discover that Silver Spoon can see ghosts despite her mark. Or maybe because of her mark--it's an old superstition to hang a silver spoon from the rafters, because when it strikes the wall, it can sing with the voice of a nearby ghost. The CMC help Silver to realize the true meaning of her mark. She breaks away from Diamond Tiara and sets out to help all of the ghosts of Ponyville. (Or maybe, the example of one of those ghosts, relayed from Silver to Diamond, helps the later to break away from the corrosive control of her mother.)
The CMC are now on the cusp of gaining their marks. But Sweetie doesn't want it, because she knows that would mean that Apple Bloom would have to go. She's been sabotaging their recent crusades for weeks now. But one day she finally notices the deep depression of the self-isolated Applejack, and in helping her to have a conversation with Apple Bloom, she finds it in herself to let go. She declares the purpose of the CMCs to help all ponies with their marks, and all three of them get those marks--including Apple Bloom. But Apple Bloom doesn't disappear. She tells them that she can't.
Apple Bloom had her chance at the Light when she died, and she turned away. And so, she thinks that she would never get another chance, that she would be haunting Ponyville like the other ghosts until the end of time. But then Twilight steps in. This is what she is for, this is how she is meant as an alicorn to help her friends and all of Equestria: alicorns are the mediums between the natural and the supernatural, and with her help and the tearful encouragement of Applejack, Apple Bloom is finally able to make peace with eternity.
I don't think I can write this. First of all, because it would look like I'm dumping all over Paradigm Shine's great story, and doing it six-plus years after he left the fandom. And second because I'm no good at sadfics, or sadfics disguised as slice-of-life stories. But I didn't want the idea to disappear from my head without somebody hearing about it, so here you go.
Thank you for sharing this.
It would have been a real pity for this idea to have been forgotten or lost to neglect.
Though I don't think many would consider it an insult to write your own reimagining of the concept, I appreciate your respect to so venerable a story and author.
2012 is a really good vintage!