Story Reviews » SA Reviews #104 · 10:37pm May 12th, 2017
Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.
Just inside the Seattle’s Angels prison compound, the new guy burst through Ferret’s bedroom door.
“FERRET!” he yelled with a crazed look in his eye. “I just realized, we don’t have an introduction, let alone a conclusion!”
“You know, Matthew, you aren’t technically the new guy anymore... we have Chris now.”
“True... but still, what do we do for the intro?”
“I don’t know, you should make something up. Just make sure it’s funny.”
“But that’s the problem, Ferret. I’ve been thinking about it for a week and I’ve got nothing. Pretty soon, Scarlet over there is gonna start hounding me about deadlines.”
“What about Arch? We could shanghai him into doing it.”
“I tried... he was too busy stroking his beard, drawing a picture of TOM and Derpy snuggling while cackling like a first-rate shipper, and drinking Griffonian Ale.”
“That’s oddly specific.”
“Yeah, I think I need brain-bleach. Any idea where I could get some?”
“Storeroom 17, where we also keep supplies for fixing doors...and don’t forget we still need to do the reviews to go with the intro!” She calls after him, waving a sheaf of messy papers.”
ROUND 104
An old stallion is tasked by a mysterious god with keeping the fire burning in an old lighthouse. He guides the way for the ponies of Equestria's past, present, and future, both teaching and learning the simplest truths of life in the process.
This is one of the first stories I read on this site, and it’s one of the ones that made me get an account. And it is an absolute shame it has few enough views to be featured here.
With it’s 12k words, it contains a lot. And I mean a lot. It’s the kind of fic where if you actually read instead of skimming it, you will (probably) love it.
It’s set in the time period of the entirety of Equestria’s existence. And throughout all of that time, there is a stallion charged with keeping a flame burning. Hence, the title. Anyway, it becomes his job to guide those in need of him. It does a great job of showing how he helps others, and how, in turn, the others affect him. I just about burst into full-blown sobs when a certain character left him.
My only real complaint is the ending, where it feels a little out of theme. But it’s not actually that bad.
So, yeah, get out there and read this thing.
Some stories are written around mysteries. Whether it’s a mystery that can be solved by clever deduction of the readers, or whether it must be solved by the characters or whether it’s simply that the mystery is never solved at all can vary. This is a story of the third type.
It opens with a mysterious figure tasking another to keep a fire alight. To follow the duties of a lighthouse keeper. To ensure the flame always burns bright, and to provide shelter and succour for all who need it. No matter where or when they come from.
And that is our entry to a very intriguing and well written story. It has beautiful flow and cadence to the word choices and it’s very intriguing. I found myself falling in love with the protagonist and his struggles and triumphs as he helps others with their own troubles and discovers his purpose and reason for being there.
The characters he meets and helps are all wonderfully crafted and truly come alive on the page. From their highs and lows, I found myself wanting to encourage and comfort them, just as our protagonist does.
I won’t deny the final section made me tear up at it, but it fits beautifully with the narrative. I won’t spoil things, but this is definitely worth taking a chance on.
Sometimes it is not the spoken word that allows one to be heard.
While this one may be short, it does not lack for content. It’s hard to write characters with disabilities, most of the time, you get “this pony has overcome his/her disabilities so well, we should all feel inspired by them,” or “this pony is so helpless.” With this one, we get a nice balance. It mentions the disability, but doesn’t try to make it this big thing. It just simply is.
Despite the fact that the narrator has a disability, and the users reading this may not, it is a very relatable story. Everypony I know, and me, has struggled with finding their place in the world.
It can be a little confusing as to what’s going on at first, but it will all make sense at the end. Now go and read it
Writing characters with disabilities, physical or otherwise, is a tricky tightrope to manage. Too far one way and you’re making them overly capable. Too far the other way and they’re martyrs for how they cope with such helplessness.
This story manages to skirt the issue nicely by giving the character a way to speak that doesn’t aggressively fixate on their disability. While the story acknowledges the disability, the focus is not on ‘Oh how sad’ or ‘Oh how brave’ It simply is what it is.
Even though the narrator has such a disability, it’s a very relatable story. Everyone has struggled growing up to find their place and figure out their passions and this feels very natural and familiar.
It’s beautifully written and feels very gentle and flowing as well. I felt as though I was really standing there reading a letter and hearing a voice in my head.
I really recommend anyone check out this story and find yourself remembering your struggles and triumphs.
STORY 3
Co-Incidence, by Bradel
Twilight discovers that the winter solstice and the new moon are happening at the same time. Exactly the same time.
With the magic of Equestria in danger, Twilight must hurry to Canterlot and save the princesses from... well... Something. Probably.
I’m not really sure what this is. It’s like, a mystery comedy. Maybe? It might just be an adventure fic.
Anyway, Twilight discovers that the New Moon and Winter Solstice are happening at the same time. And something is bound to go wrong. So, Twilight sets out to stop whatever disaster is most certainly inbound.
This one’s real strength comes through subtlety, and I will admit it took a few reads for me to figure it out. It gives us a somewhat-mystery to solve by analyzing the characters. So really pay attention while reading it. Your sanity could depend on this. Don’t blink. Don’t even blink. Blink and you miss out. It’s subtle. Subtler than you can believe. Don’t turn your back. Don’t look away. And don’t blink.
Good luck.
This is a mystery story of a different type than the previous story. This one falls into the category of a mystery for the reader to solve. Potentially. Actually, it’s not certain.
Twilight has discovered an intriguing co-incidence is about to occur. One that will have huge repercussions for a critical period of time. Nobody else has noticed of course. Thus it will be up to her to solve it! No matter how much others downplay or dissemble, she will not be dissuaded!
I love this story for it’s subtlety. It makes some incredible characters for us to interact with and gives them a very intriguing puzzle to solve. But only Twilight seems prepared to solve it, as usual. It’s reminiscent of the very first introduction we had to our favourite purple pony.
At the same time, it has some big changes as well. It really does show the way Twilight has grown and changed from her first big discovery and the ways she reacts and handles things really show it. She isn’t inclined to go solo and assume no one else can aid her. She reaches out to gain assistance from others, and even if their help isn’t exactly what she wants, she keeps persevering. Determined to save everything no matter what.
How she copes with the results is a very humanizing moment. It allows us to see her frailties, her fears and vulnerabilities. It reminds us that she is after all, just a pony and that sometimes she has trouble slowing down to listen.
I really think this is intriguing and if you’d like to spot the mystery yourself, I suggest ignoring the comments.
The Spirit Pony is responsible for the End of All That Ever Was. It has always been so. This particular End looks like being a straightforward one – until a certain pink pony intervenes to prevent it happening. Pinkie has a very, very good reason for stopping the Spirit, too...
This is a short, meaningful story about the end of the world. Pinkie has Pinkie-Promised to exist until she makes everypony laugh, and that includes the Spirit Pony.
It goes beyond Pinkie’s typical fourth-wall breaking, beyond the usual meta of Sunbutt and Lulu at the end of time, it’s a representation of the importance of promises. Promises are extremely important, and are too often forgotten. The power of a promise can plunge an entire universe into chaos, or bring a world out of one. And this is most likely why Pinkie takes hers so seriously.
I normally don’t like Pinkie Pie fics, the authors make her too silly, or too random, or stupid instead of giving her a meaningful character. But not Loganberry. Loganberry over here, he showed the side of Pinkie that always remembers because everypony is important to her. It Doesn’t Matter Now was able to take my fourth favorite of the main six, and make me feel for her.
And that is why I can safely say: drop everything, and spend at least 15 minutes on this fic. Look beyond the silliness, and beyond the randomness, and see the power of faithfulness.
This is a simple and sweet piece and I wouldn’t want it any other way.
Promises can be very powerful things. They can be as simply as a promise to meet again someday by friends. Fleeting and never expected to be fulfilled. They can be between best friends who know they’ll be together forever, no matter what. They can be a statement of vengeance whether in jest or flat seriousness, that two shall meet again and things shall go differently.
We’ve become well aware of promises in our time with our favourite pastel ponies. We make them ourselves and know that the threat, whether real, or pretend, will keep us honest and make sure we follow through. This is a story about that kind of promise.
It’s a classic Loganberry piece, a story bordering on being a simply scene unconnected from anything else and thus not a story, but it has just enough to keep it whole and cohesive. It keeps itself steady even when everything else is floating around it.
Getting to see a different side of Pinkie can be tricky to pull off. Too serious or too macabre and she stops being herself and becomes a cheap facsimile of the one we love. This Pinkie is herself through and through. By turns serious and silly, she shows that there will always be someone who remembers.
“Okay, so I’m reading a book when you walk into the room with a stack of papers and tell me to write some reviews, right?” Matthew asks, writing stuff down in a notebook as he goes.
“There has to be some more to it than that, but yeah,” Ferret answers.
“What if I complain about why it has to be me?”
“That could work, I suppose. But who would you say it should be?”
“I don’t know, Corejo?”
“Sounds like it could be a good introduction,” Ferret said, nodding her head.
“So, should we do it?”
“That’s up to you, I don’t write these things.”
He stroked his chin in thought. “I guess I can make it work.”
“Just make sure it gets done on time!” Scarlet yelled from across the hall.
Feel free to visit our group for more information and events, and to offer some recommendations for future rounds. See you all next time!
I blame Chris.
4530357
You spelled Pav wrong.
Talking vehicles that fight crime are making a comeback into popularity. Obviously there is the classic talking car, and I do recall a talking boat, but what kind do the Angels drive?
Ah, I wondered where those extra views had come from! Thank you very much!
Both of you are very generous in your assessments, so thank you for that too. I don't really agree that a single scene can't be a story, but that's by the by. I'm particularly pleased that you thought I did a good job with Pinkie's character. As you say, she's very easy to get wrong -- and I've certainly not always got her spot on -- but this particular fic is, I think, the Pinkie-est I've ever managed. 
Is geeking out appropriate here?
Don't mind me. I think I'm going to geek out.
Stories are great! I also love writing :) Stories with deeper emotional and psychological themes that you don't typically see in other types of stories. There's so much variety that it's easy to find something in writing with https://plus.google.com/+BestWritingAdvisor
Very nice short stories. If you need help to published a book bestwritingadvisor can help you. Create more stories for your readers :) :) this is a good start.