Story Reviews » SA: Round 185 · 3:16pm May 16th, 2021
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Winter and Knight stared out at the bleak townscape. All around them, the fires raged unchecked as Ponyville's former occupants stumbled mindlessly about, their undead faces ravaged by rot and decay as they moaned for sustenance. Knight turned to Winter.
"Ready to go?"
Winter nodded and shifted a backpack. "Got everything with me. I guess it's now or never."
Knight gave a wry smile. "That's the spirit. You do have your reviews, right?"
"Of course!" he said, patting his chest. "Right here."
Knight nodded and said, "Alright, here's the plan: we stick to the shadows as much as possible. From what I can tell, their eyesight isn't that good, but their sense of smell is excellent. We just have to stay upwind."
"Got it!" With that, they both cautiously eased out the door and into the street. For about ten minutes, all was well. They made steady progress and could see the Angels’ building coming up in the distance.
Then, the wind suddenly shifted and blew across Winter's backpack.
Instantly, every zombie pony's head snapped in their direction, and they began moaning, "Grrraaaiiinssss...!"
Winter and Knight gave each other one last desperate look and began running.
"What...have...you..got...in...that...pack?!" panted Knight.
"Food! Oats...corn...beans...apples...all...I...could...find!"
The zombies got louder as they drew closer. "Graaiiinns...!"
"Drop...it...you...moron! Be...fore...they...feast...on....us!" Without waiting for an answer, Knight reached over and grabbed the backpack off Winter's shoulder, spilling its contents all over the street. Immediately, the zombies fell upon the fruits and vegetables, happily stuffing their faces with them and ignoring the humans. Indeed, other zombies caught wind of the feast and pushed them out of the way to get to it. One little zombie filly, her trademark bow still in her mane, toddled up to Winter, sniffed him, and gave his pants’ leg a hopeful nibble. Her face screwed up in disgust and she went “Blehh!” as she stumbled after the others. Knight and Winter sighed and walked the rest of the way to the Angels’ building. Once there, Knight turned to Winter and asked, "What were you thinking?!"
"It seemed like a good idea at the time."
ROUND 185
STORY 1
Minus One, by TCC56
The School of Friendship has graduated its first class and six young students have their diplomas.
Six, stepping out into their adult lives and taking their place in the world.
Five in Ponyville. One... not.
And that's the problem.
This is a heartwarming story of friendship...and loss. The Young Six have graduated, and what should be a time of joy for all of them turns into something else when it's learned that not all of them will be staying in Ponyville after graduation. Their friendship has grown to the point where the thought of being separated even for a moment is too much to bear, so when one hides the fact from his friends they react like a physical blow.
The character development relies heavily upon the fans' knowledge of the episodes featuring the Young Six, as well as the movie, but even without such the reader is not left wanting. Anyone who has been in a similar situation of having to say goodbye to a friend can relate to this tale, especially if said friend is joining the military, with no guarantee of a safe return.
I think the right choices were made here. Give it a read and tell me if you agree.
In the spirit of all the graduations that happen around this time of year in the U.S., we have this story about the graduation of the Young Six from the School of Friendship, and how the life path of one of them is diverging from the others. I love that this story expands on one tiny moment in “The Last Problem” that showed Gallus has actually became Captain of the Royal Guard for Princess Twilight Sparkle and the ramifications that this life choice by the griffon had on his relationship with the rest of the Young Six.
Graduation can be a very bittersweet thing. It’s a time where the world is in front of you, rich with possibilities about where one can take their life. However, some of those paths can take you away from the friends you’ve grown close with. That’s what this story is about and it does a really great job of exploring as each of Gallus’ friends have different ways of initially dealing with his decision to leave for Canterlot to become a Royal Guard. It also is a great exploration into where Gallus’ character is by the end of the series that shows why he would come to a decision like this.
TCC56 has had several of his stories end up on the featured list since he first arrived on Fimfiction in Summer 2019, but I would say “Minus One” is one of the more underrated stories in his bibliography. So, if you have graduation on your mind, or are just a fan of Gallus and the Young Six, then you will not be disappointed by this story.
Rainbow Dash is still competing, but she is not the racer she used to be. After her sixth consecutive loss to an old rival, she faces an unthinkable choice. Her old strength is within reach - but at what cost?
We seem to be having a theme of choices this go-round of stories, and this is one of the more obvious ones. In it, we find an aged Rainbow Dash: grey, arthritic, but still possessing a fire in her belly for competition. Yet her body just won't allow it, and every year she finds herself falling further and further behind her rival Lighting Dust. Until an old friend offers her unusual help.
In just over two thousand words the reader is taken on a journey through Rainbow's life choices, her triumphs, her sorrows, her motivations, all leading up to this one moment. It's left up to the reader which was The Only Possible Choice.
As someone who is already familiar with stories about Rainbow Dash aging, I quite like the more morally ambiguous take shown here by Shaslan. This story really highlights Rainbow Dash’s stubbornness and competitiveness and how they can play a role as she ages.
This story takes a route that leans into the conventions of a tragedy. Rainbow Dash and Spitfire were both not exactly the height of role models in this story, but Shaslan did a really good job allowing their readers to sympathize with both of them. In doing so, it showcases the frustrations that can come with aging and the ways that people take action in response to them, even if they may be less than healthy.
This story takes an interpretation of Rainbow Dash that emphasizes her love of competition and her desire to win and basically gives her a “Deal with the Devil” scenario via her old mentor Spitfire. To find out what the “only possible choice” for Rainbow Dash was in this situation, give this story by Shaslan a read.
Two years after Princess Celestia stopped Nightmare Moon's return, Discord runs rampant across Equestria. With the Elements of Harmony still useless rocks, Celestia turns to her fallen sister for help. Little does she know that Nightmare Moon has been waiting for an incident like this for months.
Wow. Where to begin with this one?
I've always been a bit disappointed that the show never revealed Celestia's true power. After all, it's aimed at eight to ten-year-old girls, and the writers obviously didn't want it to be too violent. Even so, I think it was an opportunity missed. This story takes that opportunity and blows it out of the water.
Set in an alternate universe where Luna has been freed from the Moon but still under guard, Equestria faces a threat that Celestia believes she cannot handle alone, so she reluctantly approaches her imprisoned sister for help. After some back and forth banter, Luna flatly states she's not interested in helping. But then...but then she changes her mind...or revealed her true purpose: she'll help, for a price. That price is something Celestia swore she'd never allow herself to do, and it is left to the reader to decide if she makes the right choice.
The show never was truly able to put Celestia’s character to the test too much other than through her relationship with Luna. The show never really answered the question of how far would Celestia truly go for her little ponies. Well, in this story by SpectralFury, we find out.
Having Celestia play off a Nightmare Moon in a non-combat scenario was an excellent choice for a story like this, since we never really seen Celestia interact with this form of her sister in any way that isn’t in battle. It allows the story to explore the relationship between Celestia and Nightmare Moon in a new way that hadn’t been done before. However, it does not neglect them as individuals either. Both Luna and Celestia go on a journey in this story, one where they examine their relationship with the power they possess and how it affects the relationship they share.
“The Things We Sacrifice” is SpectralFury’s least-viewed story, which is mind-boggling to me since it’s really one of the better stories they’ve written. For an author that just celebrated the one-year anniversary of their first published story under a week ago, SpectralFury has already made a big splash with their first 10 stories, with “The Things We Sacrifice” ranking as one of, if not, the best story out of him. So, if you’re in for a good Celestia-centric story, then this is a story and author that will not disappoint.
Fluttershy’s parents are concerned. Her brother is hysterical. Her neighbors are downright confused.
Fluttershy is insistent. She needs to find her own way into the air. The wings on her back aren't enough to make her fly. She needs something more. She needs to find her real pegasus wings.
Our last tale is a cute but endearing one about how a child's mind works; how they reason things out on their own and how they come to their own conclusions. Filly Fluttershy has convinced herself the wings on her back are not enough to really fly. She needs to find her real ones. And that will take some doing.
This could have easily been a Comedy with just a little nudge, but as it's Fluttershy I think the Slice of Life tag is appropriate. As I mentioned, it's very cute, although she does put herself in harm's way in order to achieve her goal. But not to worry, she's fine, as responsible adults are there to protect her from herself. As a parent, I found myself shaking my head and giving a rueful smile at her antics, actions not too dissimilar from my own daughter's reasonings when she was a toddler.
You'll be a Fluttershy fan by the end of this one.
How can an author not be romantic about the ability of flight? If Rainbow Dash is about pushing one’s limits in the realm of flight, Fluttershy is all about just the beauty of the concept itself, and that’s what TheBandBrony highlights in “Real Pegasus Wings.”
First of all, the characterization of a young Fluttershy is absolutely spot on. There’s just enough hints of the Fluttershy we all know and love with the show, but also a sense of determination and drive that only a child could really possess. TheBandBrony did a really good job capturing a child’s thought process as well, especially with how the young Fluttershy interprets her main struggle in this story regarding her ability to fly. I won’t spoil exactly what it is, but it’s a type of internal conflict that is straight-up the alley for a character like Fluttershy.
TheBandBrony will actually be approaching the 10-year anniversary of when he joined this site on Christmas Eve of this year, so I’m really glad that he is getting some much due recognition with this story here. If you want a cute slice of life story starring Fluttershy that looks inward about the concept of flight, then this story is very much worth a read.
Knight sipped on the glass of water, thankful to finally quench his thirst after the near brush with death he and Winter just experienced.
Taking another sip along the way, Knight walked over to Winter’s cubicle. There, he found Winter with some food on his desk with a small sandwich on his desk.
Judging by the small mini-fridge under his desk, Knight assumed the sandwich was something Winter kept here at the Angels’ building in case he was a bit peckish. However, what piqued Knight’s curiosity was why the sandwich looked untouched, aside from it being unwrapped from it’s tin foil. As it turned out, Winter was actually taking what looked like a sample lick of his own pant leg.
“Are the reviews submitted?” Knight asked.
“I just did,” Winter replied, before returning to his pant leg.
Neither of them said anything. Winter was quiet because he was busy trying his pant leg, looking deep in thought as he did so, while Knight was contemplating asking what possessed Winter to do this.
“What are you doing exactly?” Knight asked, a hint of regret in his voice.
“The zombie didn’t like my pant leg,” Winter answered. “Like, visibility disliked it. I mean, sure, eating my pant leg isn’t exactly appetizing, but it couldn’t be that bad, right?”
Knight took another sip of water. After the adventure he’d just had with his fellow Angel, this didn’t exactly surprise him. Then, Winter continued talking.
“Turns out that zombie had horrible taste because it’s actually not that bad,” Winter explained. “Want some?”
Knight barely avoided doing a spit-take at being offered a piece of his Winter’s pant leg. Now, he regretted asking.
“Yeah, I’ll pass,” Knight said as he backed away, off to get some real food to complement his beverage.
Winter just gave a small shrug to himself.
“Oh well, more for me,” he remarked before continuing his little eating experiment.
Feel free to visit our group for more information and events, and to offer some recommendations for future rounds. See you all next time!
:)
I am surprised and incredibly honored to have made the list here. And even moreso by FanficFan's words. Thank you very much, and I'm glad you enjoyed.
Another day, another dollar
Thanks for the reviews you guys! Really glad you enjoyed it.
5519885
No problem. My little brother graduated high school this weekend, so that's really what inspired me, and when I saw "Minus One" was eligible for the Angels, I knew this month was the perfect time to do it.
Just curious: do you only review completed stories?
Really enjoyed The Things We Sacrifice. Thanks for the rec!
5520255
I would say so. It wouldn't exactly be right to review something without reading an entire completed story in full.
thank for your writting. I appreciate the effort in every sentence of writing. I will follow and see the next posts. geometry dash