Story Reviews » SA: Round 177 · 7:28pm Sep 13th, 2020
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Intern sat looking at the list of new interns, then frowned at the absence of the same. "Now, where could they be?" He exited the janitor’s closet and started down the hall, only to stop at the sound of maniacal laughter. "...the hell?" Rounding a corner, the mystery of the missing interns was solved: Winter had them all lined up in one of the larger conference rooms while he stood behind what looked like a control panel. Each was seated in a chair, sweating profusely as they watched a figure dressed in black and white silently making motions as if he was in an invisible box.
Intern sidled up to Winter and whispered, "Umm...what are you doing?"
Winter startled and said, "Oh! Intern! Just in time! Here, put this on." He handed him a round, red, spongy object.
"What is this?"
"A clown nose!" He smiled as he donned his own.
Intern stared at him. "And just why are you wearing that? And what's with the mime?"
Winter smiled and laughed again. "I found out some of these interns have a problem with clowns, so I came up with a way to break them out of their fears!"
Intern stared at him again. "I’m not putting this on. And that's not a clown, that's a mime."
"I know, I’m building up to it." Winter turned to him again. "I'm not a monster." He then flicked a toggle on the panel, and immediately balloons and confetti rained down upon the hapless interns. One’s nerve broke and he flew out of his chair and dashed out of the room, screaming.
“You’re fired!” yelled Winter. He then turned to Intern with an expectant look. His companion stood there with eyes closed, rubbing his temple. Finally, he sighed and spoke.
"Do you have your reviews?"
"Oh, sure! They're over on the desk."
Shaking his head, Intern grabbed the reviews and left. Just as he was leaving, he heard circus music starting...
ROUND 177
STORY 1
Sister Solstice, by Fylifa
Forty years after the first Hearth's Warming and the founding of Equestria, a unicorn filly discovers a magical secret that will change the world.
But her sister worries that's not all that will change.
I absolutely love tales of the Sisters, and this is one of the best I've read. It's always fun when writers flex their muscles and create original tales of Celestia and Luna's beginnings, in this case, a tale with humble origins leading to the eventual climax we all know.
This story warmly conveys the affection Celestia and Luna feel for each other, one I suspect the author knows intimately in order to write it so well. I don't have any sisters, but I do have a brother, so this story makes me wonder if the two loves are the same. I found myself caught up in the tale as soon as I realized whom it was about, for in the opening paragraphs Celestia is called by her original name (as far as this headcanon) and while I found the little filly interesting, I became all the more so once she was identified. In this case, the story tags...well, I was about to reveal more about the tale than I intended, so I'll let you discover that for yourself.
This is a multi-dimensional story, full of sights, sounds, emotions, and aromas, fully immersing the reader into its world. It was fun to encounter characters that weren't included in the tags but made the tale that much fuller, and I was a bit sad to see them go, for I would have loved to have seen what this writer could do with them, having done such a superb job on the main players.
I highly recommend giving this one a read, and if you're like me, you'll soon add it to your Favorites.
There are a lot of Celestia and Luna origin stories, but gosh darn it, this one’s too adorable to pass up. If that’s not enough already to convince you to read this, then keep going.
In a nifty bit of subversion, Celestia and Luna’s upbringing starts out very humble. Just ordinary commoners that just so happen to have the extraordinary power to move the heavens. Again, even this I’ve seen before, but not in such a casual way. I really like the grounded take on Celestia suddenly thrust to the top of the hierarchy and struggling to adapt. She’s painfully relatable in trying to juggle her new studies while also staying connected to her family. Luna herself struggles to come to terms with her sister’s new importance and worries that she’ll be forgotten once Celestia finally moves on.
You can probably tell where some of these elements eventually lead to.
But this story doesn’t deal with that part, only concerned with Celestia and Luna trying to make sense of it all. The author sneaks in some cute little tidbits of lore that pay off in the show proper, but the focus always returns to two ponies adjusting to the change in their lives.
Did I also mention this was adorable? Because Celey and Lulu definitely are! Add in the stellar writing and nods to canon and you have yourselves a winner here.
Applejack digs a hole.
We seem to be having an Applejack theme this time around, and this is one of the best I've ever read.
It starts out mysteriously but innocuously enough, just like it says on the tin: Applejack digs a hole. Why she does it isn't clear, only it's something she has to do. We're brought through every step towards her goal, every emotion (though some only become clear later), every motion of the shovel hitting dirt, and we wonder. It's only when we get into the later paragraphs that some understanding is reached, and then we can only hope there will be resolution.
All the characters' portrayals are spot-on, which makes the final answers all that more poignant, for this is something I could definitely see Applejack doing. She's her stubborn, willful self, who in this case is doing something that she herself doesn't fully understand. It takes the interaction of one other friend to help her, and that friend was the perfect choice.
This tale is a slow burn that sneaks up on the reader, but if you're patient, you'll be rewarded.
Didn’t I already review something like this before? Oh well, probably nothing.
This story is written very much like a stream of consciousness. We’re privy to Applejack’s immediate thoughts, emotions, and feelings throughout so we have a pretty good idea of what she’s going through moment by moment. What we aren’t privy to is why Applejack is digging a hole in the first place. My first guess was that this was some type of earth pony logic in that the magic of the land was guiding her to do something worthwhile for the farm.
Then I got about halfway into it.
The story has a slow burn, but once you start realizing the deeper (and I mean that in every sense of the word) implications, the context of Applejack’s state of mind takes on a whole new meaning. There’s plenty of metaphors here that analysts can read more into or you can take it at face value. Either way, you should get plenty out of this.
Final thought is that Pinkie Pie earns top Best Pony points for her role at the end.
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder- OCD.
That's what they call what I have. They should call it CDO so that the letters are in the right order.
It's just me, my thoughts, and a never-ending spiral of anxiety.
Here's a tale that takes a bleak, hard look at Twilight's condition. OCD, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, is mostly played for laughs in the TV show, but here it's portrayed as a debilitating condition, one that our favorite purple smart can barely contain.
I love how the author gives us the if-it-isn't-true-it-should-be view of the start of her anxiety, how Twilight needed to organize things in order to remain calm at an early age. We're then taken briefly through her teen years, and on to adulthood and her arriving at Ponyville. And then the destruction of the Golden Oaks Library.
Here is where the story is its darkest, for we are given an unvarnished view of Twilight's true mental breakdown. When starting to read this tale, I was at first given to comparing Twilight's condition to a popular TV character back in the early 90s, one Mr. Monk, played by Tony Shaloub. On that show, he is a germaphobe, a perfectionist, and riddled with OCD. In that show, as well as this tale, the characters are trapped by their condition, but still able to function and accomplish extraordinary feats.
But at extreme costs to their sanity.
Knowing this, the humor is somewhat lessened, but one's compassion towards Twilight is increased.
Twilight Sparkle’s occasional quirkeyness and tendencies to overreact are often played for laughs in the show, but here we explore under the surface and suddenly it’s not that funny. Taking a more real-world look at what anxiety can do to a person really makes it hard to go back and laugh at Twilight's antics. Twilight is suffering under the hood and has so for a long time. Becoming a princess hasn’t solved the problem, only added to it.
It may sound like this story is a continuous spiral of dread, but there’s a hopeful tone towards the end. I like that this isn’t a problem that can be magiced away, but has to be dealt with with time, patience, and a little help from your friends.
Please go check this out. It may speak to you more than you realize.
STORY 4
Tender Loving Care, by TCC56
Applejack is a growing filly - and young fillies need their space. That's why Bright Mac decided to build a treehouse in the back of the property for his daughter, so she and her friends could play with a little bit of privacy.
Fate says he won't be the one to finish it.
Here we have a deceptively short but powerful piece that, given what we know about the characters, most likely won't have a happy ending. But that's where you'd be wrong.
It's basically a story about Applejack and her Daddy building a treehouse, I suspect the same one the Cutie Mark Crusaders use as their headquarters. Reading this tale gives the simple structure so much more meaning, something I'd taken for granted before now.
It is a tale about grief and loss, but also about keeping a promise. This is what I meant earlier about the tale having a happy ending, for it does. Give it a read and see if you agree with me.
I think we all know where this is going just by reading the synopsis. But, don’t let that stop you from taking a look. Even with just over a thousand words, there’s plenty packed in here. Bright Mac is the kind of father we aspire to be, to say the least.
And filly Applejack is adorable, to say the most.
Like with the last story, the ending leaves on an uplifting scene that makes the journey worthwhile to take. Take the first step by clicking that story link!
The circus music continued to play well into the night and early morning. Intern dared not enter the main reviewer room until it had ceased, then waited another hour for good measure. Pushing through his fears, he looked upon the scene that greeted him.
It was like a bomb had gone off. Though instead of explosion and fire damage, confetti fell like ash from the ceiling, multicolored streamers and balloons hung from every service, and cotton candy was stuck everywhere. However, just like a bomb, there were bodies.
Interns were strewn across the floor, desks, and even clinging to the walls. He could tell from their body twitches that they were still alive, but the wild, glassy look to their eyes spoke of trauma that would take years of therapy to fix. One had enough cognisance to stumble out of the room.
“Fired!” came Winter’s voice from one of the desks.
Intern made his way over to him, mindful of the hands desperately grasping for help. “Are you finished yet?”
“Almost. The clowns are scheduled to be here soon and I think that’ll have the ones still here fixed.” He looked up with an innocent, smiling face. “You don’t think this is going too far, do you?”
Intern shook his head. “Actually, I think this is what Schadenfreude feels like.”
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This is great. I know my stories may not fit your category, but it is good that someone is out there doing this.
Another day, another dollar.
I'm sorry, wait, what?
Wow. I'm surprised by this but it's certainly quite an honor.
But I would be remiss if I didn't also plug Noble Thought's Under A Tree, which gave me the leaping-off point to write my piece.
I think I'm making enough 'Eee-ing' sounds to be considered a batpony. What an unexpected surprise!! I love following Seattle's angels and seeing what fun stories you guys find. So its a jolt to scroll down and see one of my stories be featured here.
It happened once before and the typical writer feels to think 'oh that one was just luck'. It's super heartening to be spotlighted again! I am happy you both enjoyed it, thank you!
Every now and then Applejack digs a hole slips into my thoughts. Such a powerful, relatable piece.