The Shame of Me - by Twifight Undress $200 Arcade Justification Shoppe. · 6:51am Mar 4th, 2017
Been walkin' lots of fuckin' miles just to find doubt
the shit I preach ain't worth a damn - time to drop out
Thinkin' i've found all of the questions without answers
the numbers flicker burning black within the cancer
It's not alot to be amused by the downfall
the message being slow the race to a damn crawl
shuffle the deck until your cards start to win right
Put up a front so all the others think you still might
Never a sanction but a rule to which you live by
No longer issues but a government who don't try
to being answers without any of the questions
try not to choke upon the joke the fuckers mention
Start maneuvering to stall what is expected
try dissecting what's affecting the infected
realise they're motorizing their defences
light the fires for the miles of deadened senses
It isn't even true
the lives we thought we knew
a lack of common sense
we breed the ignorance
no heroes here to see
the fucking irony
we built the cage you bought
so live the Hell we wrought
My feet are burning from the heat of the asphalt
dripping with sweat nothing left but a dead halt
mind is racing with the words of the prophets
hands are bleeding for the nails that the laws set
Categories list the flesh as a citizen
miles of files fly to record the denizen
though the picture looks a bit like a person
learn to listen and we might be the last one
Although like misery
it's just the distance, see?
it reeks of common sense
despite the ignorance
the names are pretty rare
because we couldn't care
what they had started for
the lies reside forever.
... a little poetry by me, if that's all right. Actually this was my attempt at trying to write a Limp Bizkit song, because I used to love Fred Durst. That was a long time ago. Ahem. I have some fairly eclectic tastes, I suppose.
OKAY! So as some of you have noticed, I have been ... not me of late. Like, from the first few Swarm comics made several months ago, I have been quite detached; elusive, even suspiciously delighted at some points - that ain't me. This was one of those smokescreens folks throw up when they're actually falling apart, and are too ashamed to admit it. I'm ashamed to admit it now.
I have been falling apart for a long time now. Not recently, to be fair - my story posts will attest to that, having been spaced out further than good news on CNN. This has been going on for ages, admittedly. Since myself and a close friend who got me onto FiMFiction fell apart, I haven't been so well. I wish I could absolve myself of that regret - it wasn't my choice to lose someone I admired and respected! I had to take a chance and move on despite, and the venture has been ... a mixed bag of disappointment, as far as my output goes. OH LOOK HOW FAR WE'VE GONE!
So here I am now; a few posts beyond declaring my retirement from writing new stories since I was CONVINCED that I was terrible at it (seriously, check out some of my story blog posts - was I taking things too personally?), and announcing a subsequent absence from Deviantart for being so mired in confusion, and I have been assaulted with a literal TON of kindness that cannot go ignored:
• Titanimal bought me a new Core membership on Deviantart despite my being gone since the beginning of 2017. Which is impossibly wonderful, and so very kind. I am floored.
• Shivannie designed a delightfully wonderful image for my story The Ponyville Social Network, which was featured on Equestria Daily:
This is a masterpiece that rivals some of the best pony work I have ever seen. I am speechless. All I can do is weep and grovel for being granted this by a wonderful woman whom I have elected to be my sister... although I have been a pretty shitty sibling lately.
• ArtKing3000 posted a Twifight/Quick Draw picture:
... and recently I had a beloved story of mine placed in the library of a new reader, which I thanked him for. His response made me cry. It really did:
" Ah, Twifight! Good to hear from you! Yes, I very much enjoyed the story, and I'll admit that it squeezed a few tears out, but other than that, it was a lovely read. Had some rather tender moments and relationships in there to build up a rapport. Loved it, and well deserving of a favourite. Age is only a mere number, but what really counts from something that old is the memories it gives to the reader, and take it from me: you gave me quite a few points of good inspiration!"
I think I need to rethink my place here, and in life perhaps. Food for thought, as it were.
Here's a picture:
"I am a huge douche."
Much love, my lusus naturae. Even mother has her frailties.
Here's what I think.
Write for yourself, first. Don't do it for others. If other people enjoy it, it's a happy byproduct of you writing something you liked. Don't worry about popularity, just enjoy what you do.
They way I see it, any creative output is a great thing. If you're into writing, write stuff. If you're into arting, or making vids, go that way. In any case you're going to touch people; make them laugh or feel things or stare blankly at their screen and realize that there's someone like you in the world!
I'm sorry if I've been quiet, I've been super busy these days between writing and home life. But I actually do look at everything you post here, and will continue to do so, and if you ever feel like talking feel free to PM me.
4443279
^ What the wiser one said.
THere's been a recent post by Aragon about how writers (and artists in general) seem to have trouble evaluating themselves in an objective way, which brings me to something I've guiltily delayed for too long.
You are awesome, I'm delighted when you post something and I think you are more than capable as an artist and as a writer. I still think that if you don't feel like writing anymore you shouldn't force yourself do something you don't like, but I will be very happy about whatever artistic or creative output you manage to produce. It would be a sad thing if you stopped completely, as you are gifted.
Twifight is best Twi
We love you mother, more than many can ever attest.
Inseriousness. I know a lot about lives falling apart and I'm always happy to listen, like bookplayer, if you feel like talking. If not, then just remember that you're loved no matter what you do.