Wanderer D 5,501 followers · 65 stories

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  • 111 weeks
    SA: The Last Round

    "So, what do you think, Corejo?" Wanderer D asked, politely showing off the stack of papers in his claw.

    The burlap sack with the printed (in color!) face of Corejo remained silent.

    "I see, yes, yes!" Wanderer D cackled. "Ahahaha! Yes! I agree! This story should do fine! So, who's reviewing it? RT?"

    The sack that had the picture of RTStephens on it tilted just enough for a single potato to roll onto the table.

    "And we have two! Alright, team, I expect you all to figure out who's doing the next one, okay? Let's not keep the readers waiting!" He glanced expectantly at the several sacks with pictures around him. "Alright! Dismissed."

    "Sir?"

    "Ah, intern. Is that my coffee?" Wanderer D took the proffered mug and downed the contents in one go. "Excellent! No time to rest! We have to edit what the guys just handed to me."

    Read More

    110 comments · 8,837 views
  • 133 weeks
    SA: Round 186

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    The Dodge Junction train ramp was not where Floydien expected to be part of a reunion.

    He especially didn’t expect it to happen four times in a row.

    “Wait, Winter? What are you doing here?”

    Winter’s eyebrows raised. “On Summer vacation. What about you?”

    “Uh, same.”

    “Guys!”

    The two Angels looked to where the voice came from. Cynewulf came running up to them, a wide brimmed sunhat and sunglasses adorning her head. “Fancy meeting you two here!”

    Floydien scratched his head. “Same. Are you on vacation too?”

    “Yep! Had a blast down on the Horseshoe Bay coast.”

    “Well, ain’t this something!”

    All turned to the fourth voice. Knight strode up, his body decked out in fishing gear, complete with a fishing pole balanced over his shoulder. “Haven’t seen so many of us in one spot since vacation started.”

    Read More

    12 comments · 4,637 views
  • 148 weeks
    SA: Round 185

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    Winter and Knight stared out at the bleak townscape. All around them, the fires raged unchecked as Ponyville's former occupants stumbled mindlessly about, their undead faces ravaged by rot and decay as they moaned for sustenance. Knight turned to Winter.

    "Ready to go?"

    Winter nodded and shifted a backpack. "Got everything with me. I guess it's now or never."

    Knight gave a wry smile. "That's the spirit. You do have your reviews, right?"

    "Of course!" he said, patting his chest. "Right here."

    Knight nodded and said, "Alright, here's the plan: we stick to the shadows as much as possible. From what I can tell, their eyesight isn't that good, but their sense of smell is excellent. We just have to stay upwind."

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    10 comments · 4,255 views
  • 155 weeks
    SA: Round 184

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    “I see. Alright, I’ll let him know.”

    Intern twisted a dial on the small mechanical piece attached to his ear, retracting a blue, see-through visor from across his face. He turned to Floydien, crossing his arms. “It’s confirmed. Generation 5 is on its way. Season 2 of Pony Life is just around the corner. And the series finale of Equestria Girls was scrapped for a holiday special.”

    Floydien lifted an eyebrow. “And, what does that mean for us?”

    Read More

    10 comments · 4,412 views
  • 159 weeks
    SA: Round 183

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    Over their heads the flak guns peppered the sky. The planes roared and sputtered. The clouds were dark, heavy with the child that was war. It was all noise.


    Cynewulf looked around the bend. “You know, I’ve been reading old fics. Remember Arrow 18?”


    Floydien slipped—a Floydien slipped—One Floydien came through the fractured time in the lower levels of the Sprawling Complex. “Uh, human in Equestria?”


    “Yeah. You know, we were probably too mean about those.”


    “They were terrible. I mean some of them. I guess a lot of everything is terrible.”


    “Well, yes. But anyway, I was reading it, and it occurred to me that what I liked about it was that it felt optimistic in the way that Star Trek was optimistic. It felt naive, but in a way one wanted to emulate. To regress back into it.”


    “Uh, that sounds nice?”

    Read More

    7 comments · 5,918 views
  • 164 weeks
    SA: Round 182

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    “Okay, Winter, hit it!”

    Winter pulled a lever that ignited a rocket placed underneath the communal Christmas Tree. The tree blasted through a cylindrical hole and out into the skies beyond. It only took seconds for the tree to become a tiny red dot against the blue sky.

    Winter stepped away from the control panel and down to where Intern was standing behind a fifty-five millimeter thick glass wall. “We could have just picked up the base and tossed it in the garbage bin outside, you know.”

    Intern scoffed. “Yeah, we could, or we can go over the top in a comedic and entertaining manner that leads into our reviews.”

    “You’re getting all meta, now.”

    “Exactly! On to the reviews!”

    ROUND 182

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    6 comments · 7,948 views
  • 169 weeks
    SA: Round 181

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    For the first time in the year that he worked there, FanficFan finally experienced quiet in the Seattle’s Angels Compound. All the other reviewers had gone home for the holidays, leaving him and Intern to submit the last round of reviews of the year. However, with Intern off on an errand, FanficFan was left alone.

    With stories ready to be read by his partner, all the reviewer could really do was wander around the empty building, taking in all the holiday decorations left behind from the Office Christmas Party a few days prior, like office space holiday knick-knacks, lights strown about the ceiling and wreaths on nearly every door. Plus, there was some leftover cookies and egg nog, so that was nice. 

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    8 comments · 6,354 views
  • 173 weeks
    SA: Round 180

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    Cynewulf lay in a grassy field. This was a curious occurrence, as the Seattle Angel’s Dyson Sphere-esque compound basement labyrinth did not usually have grass. 


    But like she had many times before, she’d been teleported here, and whether or not the sky above her was real or not, she didn’t mind. The grass was nice, and the wind was nice, and whatever happened happened.
    f

    There was a great crash and Corejo stumbled into the grass to her right.

    “Oh, god, are we out? How did—”

    “No clue. I suspect that it’ll just take us back anyhow. Did you have the reviews? The machine came for me a few days ago, so I’ve got mine.”


    “I… Uh, I was late. I mean, we both are, unless you’ve been here for days.”

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    9 comments · 8,117 views
  • 177 weeks
    SA: Round 179

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    Winter peered cautiously out the corner of the broken window, surveying the damage outside. He turned to his companion.

    "Looks like we're trapped in here," he said quietly.

    Intern grunted and adjusted the bandage on his arm. "Nothing we haven't gone through before." He looked up at Winter. "Got your reviews?"

    Winter nodded and patted his chest pocket. "Right here, where they're safe." He turned and looked once more out the window. "Now, it's simply a matter of getting through all those ponies." Winter shuddered as he took in the horrors before him.

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    10 comments · 5,219 views
  • 180 weeks
    SA: Round 178

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    Matthew stumbled through the basement, crouching low to avoid all the pipes on the ceiling. Floydien hadn’t told him much, just that it was extremely important, had nothing to do with Intern, and to take the last fire door on the left.

    After what seemed like eternity in an instant, Matthew finally came to said fire door, damp with sweat and condensation. He carefully undid the latch and opened it with one arm raised just in case of any traps. Only to be greeted with the sounds of maniacal but joyous laughter as he spotted Floydien sitting in the center of the room surrounded by thousands of stacks of papers.

    “I found it!” Floydien said, tossing a stapled pack of papers to Matthew. “I finally found the answer. The answer to all of our questions. To our very existence!”

    Read More

    4 comments · 4,516 views
Nov
20th
2016

Story Reviews » SA Reviews #94 · 2:58pm Nov 20th, 2016

Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


"Are you sure this is a good idea?"


Deep underground, in the uppermost branches of the Angels' treehouse, Plum circled a table in the centre of the panoramic observation room. He turned to look at Archonix, who was carefully positioning a teacup on the table edge.


"Of course it is, Plum," said Archonix. "The pushing of things onto the floor by small mammals is a necessary function of our organisation, and with RedSquirrel so busy these days, it's one that has been sadly neglected."


"But are you sure this is a good idea?"


Archonix paused for a moment, considering. Then he adjusted the teacup once more and stepped back. "Yes."


"I mean, she's not the most reliable," Plum continued. "And she has tried to kill you on multiple occasions."


They both turned to look at the three-legged cat perched on the table. Archonix sighed. "But she's so cute! How can I say no to that face?"


"Miaow," said Bon Bon, who then proceeded to roll of the table and land on the only loose floorboard in the room. The end of the board beneath the nearest table leg rose up with a loud crack, launching the table into the air. It flipped twice before landing on Plum with the finality of a well-timed punchline.


Archonix leaned over. "Are you alright?"


"I'm fine," said Plum. "It landed on my cold stone heart, but I'm not going to be able to review anything until someone moves this table."


"I can't," said Archonix. "The cat's sitting on it."


"Miaow," said Bon Bon.


Fortunately, it was about then that ScarletWeather walked through the door.

ROUND 94


While hunting for a spider hiding in her chaise lounge, Rarity suddenly realizes she has the ability to forgive sins. Enlightened with this understanding, Rarity goes out into Ponyville to give ponies her grace, and perhaps even to draft her friends in her mission.


That was the plan, but Applejack is being awfully stubborn.


Disclaimer up front: I've been a fan of Goat Licker for quite a while. He doesn't write a lot (says the man who – eh, whatever) but he writes at a very peculiar angle.


I like that.


A satire that works best is one that, knowing the absurdity of the subject it is satirising, addresses it with absolute sincerity. To show how absurd an idea is, you simply put it on display. A similar philosophy is on display here.


Of course, Fimfiction doesn't have a Satire tag (And if it did it would be horribly abused, just like all the others), so this is a comedy instead, a role that it fulfils well. There are laughs, there is absurdity, but there's also a subtle undercurrent of – not subversion, exactly, but of examination of the ideas on show. Much of this takes place through Applejack, the doubting Thomas to Rarity's messiah-prophet.


This, I thought, was a clever use of the characters. Twilight is always held up as the sceptic, the scientist, the one who doubts the mystic and superstitious, but this characterisation always ignores that she's also a neophile, a seeker of novelty and experience. Her scepticism can be surprisingly shallow when she's faced with an idea she likes, something that has driven a lot of the conflicts she has faced in her life.


Applejack, meanwhile, is often (though thankfully not all that often) portrayed as the ignorant rube, the backwards country redneck who would fall for every scam and huckster and new religious fervour at the drop of a mass-produced hat.


But not here. Today Applejack immediately doubts this "being saved" that requires her to give up herself to some mysterious happy feeling on the say-so of an over-eager crowd of followers. Just because everyone else is doing it just makes it all the more suspicious in her eyes.


... which is to say, this is satire doing what it does best: holding a mirror up to our unquestioned collective beliefs and asking us to take a long, hard look.

It’s only fitting that in my first set of reviews for Seattle’s Angels, I get asked to review… well, I don’t want to spoil potential readers, but one of the most unusual stories I’ve come across, especially given the subject matter. “From Every Searching Eye” joins the ranks of site standouts like The Descendant’s “Children of a Lesser Dragon God Boy Whelp Thingy” or just about everything Cynewulf’s ever written on some level as drawing inspiration from Judeo-Christianity. In tone and concept, this story errs much closer to “Children of An Incredibly Long and Hard to Type Title”, however.


Given the story opens on a painfully amusing attempt to vanquish a spider going horribly wrong, I expected the full story to have more of a comedic and goofy tone. To my surprise, there were elements played relatively straight. While there were more than a few standout lines (which I won’t be reproducing since they’ll have less impact if you aren’t going in blind), if your criteria for reading a comedy is purely about laughs-per-paragraph, you may be safe skipping this one. That said, the relative lack of real gut-busters is compensated for adequately by some fine character dynamics and actual honest-to-god action sequences.


My major quibble with the story is in its construction more than its tone or concept. It starts at the beginning, cuts forward to an exciting moment, flashes back from that moment to the events immediately following the beginning, then returns to the “present”, and then ends with what amounts to a massive (if somewhat amusing and intriguing) exposition dump courtesy of Celestia and Luna. I don’t know why the author decided to order events this way, because it breaks up the flow of the story. If this were being written for television or film it might have worked better, but as a short story on the internet? Not so much.


Readers may also be advised that unlike Descendant’s comedy masterpiece, the humor at religion’s expense here is directed towards the concept itself rather than towards the folly of worshipers. Life of Brian this is not. Still, it got a few chuckles out of me and caused me to say a phrase I never thought I’d utter, so I’d say this is worth a look.


Tell me the story, Celestia. The one that you promised you would, so long ago...


This is the beginning of a story.


This is the end of a story.


This is a story about beginnings and endings, about gods and mortals, about love and death.


As origin stories go, the extended canon of FiM has been rather unkind to this one. But then I never paid much attention to all that.


I remember reading this story when it was published and quietly nodding my head, because it felt right. It felt right that of the three known alicorns (at the time), Cadance would be the outlier. It felt right that she'd be the one to make sacrifices far greater and yet far more mundane than the other two.


It felt right.


Feeling defines this story. The feelings of loss and anger that Celestia expressed through the narrative; the feeling of how it is to wield a magic greater than anything a mere mortal might experience; the feeling of comfort of a warm home and a loving mother; the feeling of new life, and transition; how it feels to witness the death of a loved one.


To feel is to live, and at its heart this story is about both these things. After all, what is a goddess of love if she can't feel love?

Moving from an irreverent comedy into a decidedly reverent (and borderline melodramatic) story, I have to say I’ve discovered two things. One, Archonix, who found all four of today’s fics, has a varied and interesting taste. Two, I like my worldbuilding exposition dumps better when they’re paying off a more direct buildup.


This is the second of our fics for this round to focus on the Royal Sisters in a major capacity, and every time I read a story about the Royal Sisters the first thing I do is begin examining to see which direction the author chooses to take them in - gods, mortals, or somewhere between the two. This story decidedly settles on “gods”, or at the very least implies that the Sisters are “set apart’ from ordinary ponies on some level. It then uses that conceit to tell a story that just wouldn’t work without it.


It might be spoiling a bit too much to say that this serves as something of an “origin story” for a loose end that canon has never quite filled in outside of dubiously-canon-to-series supplemental material.


What I can say is that this is “sad”, but not a tragedy. There’s a lot of bittersweetness here, and damned if I’m not a sucker for a good sad ending that unfolds into hope -and you don’t get much more of that than this story’s conclusion. If I were in the habit of giving out star ratings, this would be a solid ⅘, and I’d be willing to be persuaded to bump it up a bit depending on how harsh the scale is. Definitely give this one your time if you like stories that focus on the problems faced by immortals.


A stallion wanders into Ponyville, looking like he hasn't seen a bed, a bath or a razor in days. Twilight Sparkle and her friends try to help him, but he quickly starts to get on their nerves with his strange, poetic manner of speaking. Also, he seems to be afraid of bathtubs for some reason.


I'm going to be that insufferable ass right now: I got the joke from the protagonist's name (if he can really be called a protagonist). I suppose this makes me old.


I can't say a great deal to this story beyond "it made me laugh". There are innumerable one-joke fics out there, but few actually pull it off and fewer still pull it off so consistently throughout their entire execution. This one, in my mind, was perfect.


I guess I'd better go now.

First of all, a confession: Archonix picked six stories in advance of this set up. I chose two and eliminated them and I think he would’ve been amenable to substituting either for this story. Meaning I have nobody to blame for me having to review this but myself.


Second, GOD DAMN IT.


This story is a Dad Joke. Not in the sense that it’s building up to a pun, but in that it’s such a corny, silly concept that once you catch onto what’s happening you are going to groan. If, like me, you are considerably younger than thirty and aren’t terribly familiar with the music of the ‘60s beyond what gets played on classic rock stations, you may not see what’s about to happen coming until a third of the way into the story.


It’s silly. It’s literally just one joke drawn out for as long as the author could make it work, with endless corny puns facilitated by ‘60s rock references. If you get every single one as it comes you may have a pretty rewarding experience. If you, like me, have a harder time catching every in-joke from the outset, it’s like getting caught unaware by your Dad’s puns. It’s not that it’s a bad joke, it’s that you can’t help groaning.


Big ‘60s rock fans, you’ll get a kick out of this. Younger readers and readers in general who aren’t as familiar with that whole scene, I warned you.


Fluttershy lives a happy life. Every day is special. All of her friends are lovely ponies.


Today is a day just like any other; she wakes in the morning, does her chores, sees her friends, takes a nap and sees more of her friends before an evening of relaxation.


Just an ordinary, wonderful day.


As with her animals, Fluttershy treats every day as special, and apparently loves every single one with as much passion and intensity as she loves all her little animal friends.


The thing that this fic has captured, and that many fans – and even the show writers, strangely – miss is the strange, near-invisible core of determination that lurks behind everything Fluttershy does. It might sound strange to describe Fluttershy in those terms, but only if you think of Fluttershy as nothing more than a floppy blob of fear and anguish.


It's true that Fluttershy is terrified of the world. It's also true that Fluttershy loves everything about the world. The apparent contradiction is resolved thus: Fluttershy overcomes her terror to express that love. If expressing that love means she has to stand in front of the Sun herself and issue feeding instructions (perhaps in the process wreaking a subtle, but kind-hearted revenge on the trickster for the whole phoenix incident), then that is what she will do.


And so it goes.


It reads like an ASMR script, and then very gently slaps you in the face with a whole bunch of things that... well, I'll let the reader discover them.


It also managed to predict elements of the end of season 6 with uncanny accuracy.

When I saw the fic’s title, genre tag, and premise, I wasn’t sure how I was going to react to it. I am not one of the hundred-thousand people who got into Friendship is Magic because of the magical-slice-of-life concept, I came for the western magical girl series potential and stayed for the solid character writing. The idea of just watching a character’s day from the moment they wake up all the way to the end doesn’t particularly sound engaging to me.


And yet this story decided that just for fun, it would prove me wrong. I’m not sure if it was because I spent the entire time waiting for a shoe to drop that never did or that it made the day-in-the-life premise engaging without relying on some kind of twist ending, but gosh darn it, this is my hands down favorite of today’s stories and I will fight anyone who says they don’t like it.


“An Ordinary Day” is a bit deceptive in its title. It’s less an ordinary day, and more an ideal day in the life of Fluttershy. It’s filled with observations about her friends, both pony and animal, the place she lives, and how she interacts with them. There are moments of intimacy, and courage, and contentment. This is a very ‘zen’ story - it’s relaxing.


Which might be its most telling flaw, actually. I find it hard to believe that Fluttershy, of all characters, goes through an entire ordinary day where nothing is frightening and everything is not just okay but borderline-poetic and beautiful and safe. I know how anxiety feels, and round about season three - this story is definitely set sometime during season three, based on contextual clues - Fluttershy was still freaking out on a pretty regular basis.


All that said, there’s just a lot to love here and too much positive for me to skimp on recommending the story over that. This may seem a bit too safe to be how Fluttershy sees the world, but it’s beautiful and comforting and uplifting and has some pretty gorgeous turns of phrase and prose, and there’s a delightfully understated bit of shipping slipped in. I’m all for this story, and more like it. If you only have time to read one of these four things today, pick this one.


"This is what you people do for fun, is it?"


Archonix shook his head. "No, this is—" he began, but then the door burst open, admitting Ferret and RedSquirrel, fresh from yet another wedding. Cake crumbs and rice trailed into the corridor behind them.


As he took in the scene, Red halted in his tracks.


"What in the name of the great oak forest is going on here?"


"Beats me," ScarletWeather said with a shrug. She watched Red as he slowly circled the table. "I just got here."


"And that's awesome," Ferret squeaked, as she was wont to do when excited. Which was always.


Meanwhile, his examination of the scene complete, Red adjusted his hat and struck an adorable pose. "It's ok everyone. I've got this."


With a quick hop he scampered up onto the table, taking a moment to eye the sleepy cat at its centre before skittering to the side. Then, with great fanfare, he kicked the teacup square in its base and sent it tumbling to the floor.


"Another job well done," he exclaimed, and then ran up the wall to lurk in the rafters.


From beneath the table came a sigh not unlike that of a slightly depressed plum.


Feel free to visit our group for more information and events, and to offer some recommendations for future rounds. See you all next time!

Report Wanderer D · 3,130 views ·
Comments ( 13 )

If you continue to depress that plum, you will have juice, and no cup to put it in. Think ahead people!

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Goat Licker? You may have won the award for "best username on the site". XD

Thank you for the review of From Every Searching Eye, though it forced me to re-read it. The construction was done for novelty's sake (I was reading a lot of William S. Burroughs at the time, but was too cowardly/lazy to attempt the cut-up technique), so I guess I'll mark it as an experiment not to be repeated.

Also, the phrase "couldn't help but" appeared five times in that story. I was annoyed enough by it that I changed three of them.

Some interesting-sounding stories this time around (plus one I've read). And good to see Scarlet jumping in on the Angels!

4310571 Couldn't help but be annoyed?

4311433
Tea is a vile beverage, and I have no respect for those who drink it.

I'm so glad I sent in for this decoder ring.

> logs on to Fimfiction for the first time in a month or so

> 6 new notifications

> OH SHIT WHAT UP

At least now I know where that mysterious spike in popularity for Horse Latitudes came from. Thanks for the kind words, guys! :heart:

4311177 (And then I missed the first review I'm asked to help with actually going up, lulz.)

And yeah, I'm rolling with the crew now. I presume I was invited to diversify the reviewers and add 180% more Team Skull fangirl Yurikuma references insight, yes, that's the one.

4313282

Another new reviewer. I swear to God, Seattle's Angels has become a revolving door or something. Shame too, because I actually liked the last guy who left.

Oh right, hello! Don't know who the fuck you are, but welcome aboard anyway. :twilightsmile: Now if someone around here would just give you admin privileges in the group already.

4316312 If it's any consolation, I barely knew who the fuck all of you were other than the people I know by name until Ferret invited me.

4316572

Yeah, sounds about right. Meanwhile, I'm still stuck trying to figure out how the weather can be scarlet. Can't be that much harder than figuring out how a voice can have color (I still say it's LSD).

And it's weird. Your avatar is of a human Twilight, but between that and your name, I keep getting Touhou vibes.

Also, a few of the Angels usually do "biweekly" podcasts in between review rounds. Not to impose, but I get the impression that it would be your thing.

4317070 You're getting Touhou vibes because my username is a Touhou reference, specifically to the title of Touhou 10.5 "Scarlet Weather Rhapsody". As for the avatar, this character actually isn't human Twilight, it's Erika Furude, one of my favorite characters from Umineko: When They Cry. She's fun since she's both a parody of the concept of self-insertion into a story, and also this really hilarious literal interpretation of a lot of things fictional genius detectives do and get away with.

I'm going to try to be around for the next biweekly, presuming my goshdarn throat feels any better in the next few days. It's pretty rough.

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