Fic recs, June 29th! · 2:06pm Jun 29th, 2016
Wow, month's almost over. :O That means only one moth or so until my copy of Sentinels arrives. :D It's literally the only thing keeping me going right now.
Once again, I've kept up with review journals so well that there's no news! :B So have some shorter fics I dug out of my Read-It-Now, including the final entry of the Screwball trilogy, Numberography by ph00tbag, Petrichord's There's a Bug Licking Your Cake, and a whole bunch of other stories I mostly liked because that happens when I'm the one deciding what I'm going to read, go figure. :B
H: 4 R: 7 C: 1 V: 0 N: 4
Screwball Over by Warren Hutch
Sequel to Screwball Mio Amoré
Genre: Action
Screwball should have been defeated by the Elements of Harmony. There's just one tiny problem left…
If there's a downside to this piece, it's that this is very much a "Ponyville/Equestria is doomed" story and not a "Button and Davenport's married life is adorably dull" story. Don't get me wrong, there's plenty of the latter, but again their relationship bookends what is otherwise a tense magical mystery, which snowballs quickly into something considerably more sinister. The series gets a very satisfying raison d'etre. It passes the Luna Test with no problems. And in fact, between the thrilling magical mishaps and the Stitches' hilariously boring marriage, this would have been my favorite installment, save for one intense, emotional scene that reminded me of Fallout: Equestria due to being ruined by a referential joke. :| Other than that, though, the writing is the best the series has seen. I just can't shake my disappointment at that one scene, though, for all that it doesn't exactly kill the story. Still, if you read the first story, I don't see why you wouldn't read all three, and I'd give the trilogy itself an H, because it's more than the sum of its parts.
Recommended
Numberography by ph00tbag
Genre: Historical
Clover tells her daughters a bedtime story.
If I am not mistaken, this author is in fact the (hopefully) well-known pony psytrance musician Sonic Rainboom. Here's his only story so far! So this avails itself well, giving us a really good look at the mindset of Clover the Clever post-Discord — and not, it should be noted, following what we know of canon anymore — as well as setting her up as Celestia and Luna's birth mother. That really got me, and of course getting to see the Royal Sisters as petulant little fillies is always a pleasure. The story she tells them is a myth of the just-so-story variety: Star Swirl learning from a dragon how to give numbers names. It's lighthearted and humorous, and definitely fits with the world, the sort of story ponies would tell post-Unification to emphasize the lessons of Harmony. The piece overall could use a light editor's touch to clean up some of the telling and the occasional typo, but neither are enough to drag the story down. I really adore the story-within-the-story, as Star Swirl's desire to count higher than eight butts up again and again by practicality. If you enjoy fables and stories of Star Swirl's era, don't pass this up, it's really wonderful. :D
Recommended
Love Countdown by Kanzerlin Maud
Genre: Comedy
Desperate to find out what being in love feels like, Twilight casts a very non-discerning spell on herself.
Gotta love a songfic based on Eurobeat. :V Or, maybe not. This is basically a PG-13 version of Twilight's Gradual Descent Into Sluttiness. She casts what amounts to a mind-control spell on herself, then starts growing infatuated with pony after pony. The first problem is that this really isn't love she's experiencing, just undirected lust. Okay, that's the second problem; the first is that her first target is Spike, and the CMCs show up later on. On top of that, AJ doesn't approve of Twilight kissing on other mares. The actual story itself is good, with decent comedic beats and good pacing. But overall, I take this as an example of why mind-control is bad.
Not Recommended
There's a Bug Licking Your Cake by Petrichord
Genre: Comedy
Twilight tries to find out why Pinkie has been smuggling changelings into Equestria. This is considerably more difficult than she imagined.
This is a fast-paced comedy where the lack of dialogue tags helps rather than hinders. Long stretches of conversation whiz by, the dialogue perfectly in character and easy to follow. There are a couple typos here and there, and the joke stemming from "be straight with me" is a bit of a tangent, but this is a real ride from start to finish, and it kept me guessing. :D
Recommended
Breaking Peeved by Bad Horse
Genre: Crackfic
After all was said and done, Fluttershy got her brother a job. But what's her job?
Of course I'm gonna read this one: I named it! :V The brilliance of this piece is that "what is Fluttershy's job" is a mystery only to Fluttershy. That helps divert the expected jokes, given the crossover tag. The actual joke becomes obvious by the end of the first part, but watching it play out is loads of fun, mostly because Fluttershy is entirely oblivious to what's going on right in front of her. I wasn't even certain I knew what was going on, half the time, but I laughed anyway. :D I can even forgive the Rainbow Factory joke, because at least it's a new Rainbow Factory joke. The humor gets wackier and wackier as things go, and I am just proud of Bad Horse for writing good crack. Fic. Crackfic. Why would I be implying anything else?
Highly Recommended
All Better Now by ocalhoun
Genre: Shipping
After Rarity kisses her boo-boo better, Pinkie starts feeling, and acting, funny.
Earlier this month, there came within the same minute two stories with similar titles, both based on the same comic. Time to compare things! This one is very fast-paced, and doesn't exactly present a good shipping setup: Rarity kisses Pinkie's hoof, Pinkie kisses Rarity, Rarity kisses Pinkie… It's all just a lot of kissing, really. At least no one's sitting there, moping over question of their sexuality, but still, this is built on "I've always loved you", and a smooch and a bandaid are no basis for a system of romance.
Not Recommended
Make It Better by Twinkletail
Genre: Comedy
Pinkie has a request for Rainbow Dash.
This one wins for two reasons. First, it doesn't fall on standard shipping tropes; sure, it's a story about Pinkie falling quickly in love with Rarity, but that's what we're working with here. Second and more importantly, it goes the extra mile beyond the comic both stories are based off of. Yes, we get to see the comic play out again — with the same dialogue, even — but instead of continuing on from there, the author takes a totally original track, and it's not until the end that we see why Pinkie asks Dash what she asks. Plus, it's super-funny. I think, even if you're not much for shipping, this will be a fun read.
Recommended
Operation Get-Lestia by Cupcakes
Genre: Comedy
Pinkie is going to prank Princess Celestia. Twilight has to stop her!
I happened to realize that after reading this story, I will have reviewed all of Cupcakes' completed works. (On Fimfiction, anyway.) This is an attempt at episode-style writing, and it mostly succeeds. An early scene with Pinkie asking Twilight various unrelated questions slows things down, but the tone and three-act structure are spot-on. Twilight suspecting her friend of doing something "diabolical" is appropriately season one (though this is a season two fic); the overall effect is A Bird in the Hoof meets Lesson Zero, which of course, I appreciated less. This is, in the end, a story about how little Twilight knows about Celestia, so there's that, plus a very old joke in the middle. If you do like episode-style fics, though, I think this will be a pleaser.
Recommended for Laughs
Luna's Favor by -Mazer
Sequel to Luna's Romp
Genre: Not What It Seems
When Luna has another sleepover, Celestia decides she won't be made a fool a second time.
After enjoying Luna's Romp so much, I wanted to read more by -Mazer, and that story's followup seemed like the first place to start! Unfortunately, whether it was the strength of the reading, the fact that I can see the typos this time, or just the fact that it's the same joke again, I didn't like this as much. I was also disappointed that not only is this the same joke, but the "what's going on" isn't half as creative (though points for the actual punchline…). If you haven't read Luna's Romp, go check it out, but don't bother with this one.
Not Recommended
Love Is Like an Apple Tree by Selbi and Aragon
Mature: Sex
Genre: Comedic Clop
Rainbow Dash is horny, and Applejack is like RIGHT THERE. Thankfully, she gets a star to wish on.
I read the first sentence of this story and just fucking lost it. I had to get up and leave, because I couldn't take it, I laughed for like three minutes straight. That's the kind of ride you're signing up for with this. This is the sort of Appledash I love, and I don't mean because AJ grows a dick in the middle. They banter constantly, and it's that fast-paced dialogue that ultimately makes this worth reading. If you can stomach pony sex in the least, do yourself a favor and take your Mature filters off to read this one. It's just that funny.
Highly Recommended
Barnstormer by GaPJaxie
Reading by Goombasa
Sequel to Butter Up
Genre: Actingverse
Butter Up helps Barnstormer with her essay.
I was very pleased, with the release of this story, to see the Actingverse showing up on Fimfic's front page: this in the featured box, the first story in popular. I feel like something truly good is finally getting its due. Anyway, this picks up off of Butter Up, with her showing up at Barnstormer's place, working on eating more and behaving a good bit better. Barnstormer herself stands out quite a bit against her costars. She's smart, and trying to get into college, but moreover, she actually seems to like the show, as she's watching Tanks for the Memories when the story begins. Mostly, she's just a fairly pleasant individual, a marked change from the cynical characters of the previous stories, to say nothing of the fact that she and Butter Up have what is undoubtedly the first actual friendship among the characters. Her main problem is that life has been really easy for her, and she's feeling undeserving of her privilege, while wary about relying on past success as an indicator of future success. So this one's got a very pure philosophical bent to it. In some ways not as deep as some of the other entries, it's still refreshing in its own way. You should of course be reading all of these. :V
Recommended
Cold Front by Pascoite
Reading by Snogwritts
Genre: Dark
Wow. Okay, so this is a story about Scootaloo suffering from domestic abuse and PTSD. I don't often put trigger warnings on stuff, but this is intense and may be close to home for some people. That said, if you appreciate serious looks into serious issues, you can't do much better than this. It's gripping and intense, an ambiguous end to the first scene plays things out well, and it ends on a much-appreciated positive note, not to spoil anything. This is just really clever stuff.
Highly Recommended
Forgive by NotARealPonydotcom
Genre: Kilalaverse
Spike and Rarity don't have much time for each other these days. Thank goodness they have Claire.
I don't remember why this was suggested to me, other than relevance to recent blog posts. The big problem, other than the obvious, is that nearly the first half of this story is an argument. Cut it down to a quarter of its current length, and the point would have been gotten across perfectly well. Thankfully, the rest of it is great, a perfect introduction to a young Crystal Clarity as she plays mediator in her parents' latest spat. A perfectly written child lightens any dowdy old Sparity fic. :V
Recommended
Indigo Hooves by xjuggernaughtx
Reading by Illya Leonov, Astro-Brony and ShadowOfCygnus
Genre: Horror
Losing Iris wasn't Gearshift's fault, but he's going to fix it anyway. Fixing things is what he does.
I read this a while back, most likely for feedback purposes (or not! see below), and it's nice to see it up on the site finally. :) This is a horror story in the grandest Shelley tradition, a tale of science and magic gone awry as the characters tamper with the forces of nature. The narrative pulls us through the story of Gearshift meeting the only pony crazy enough to try bringing his wife back from the dead, their various successes and failures, and just what she meant to him. Nothing is held back, which only helps build the tension more as events culminate in tragedy. And then the other shoe drops. This story is gripping, emotional and chilling, and should not be passed up by anyone who likes the dark stuff.
Recommended
The Rummy Business of Old Blooey by Cloud Wander
Reading (part 1) by Purple Patch
Genre: Comedy/Crossover
When Prince Blueblood finds himself unwittingly engaged, he comes to his good chum Barney Trotter for advice, the best advice being, of course, 'Leave it to Cheese.'
I grew up watching Jeeves and Wooster, starring Dr. House and the inimitable Stephen Fry, but as a kid, you don't have any kind of appreciation for those sorts of shows. Which is why, after actually reading one of P. G. Wodehouse's Jeeves stories, I had to come back to the site and find a crossover. Dashed if there aren't only two of them, and this is the only one that's finished. What can I say? This is a pitch-perfect ponification of the characters, written in Wodehouse's own word-flingery, and it's absolutely a gem. If you've read Wodehouse, you absolutely need to read this story, and if you haven't? You absolutely need to read this story and then read Wodehouse. And what this does, plot-wise, is brilliant. Stories like this are why Cloud Wander is a real treasure.
Highly Recommended
Spikey Wikey by headless_rainbow
Mature: Sex/Gore
Genre: Bad
A few things to know. First, headless_rainbow is apparently a gorefic author of some renown, whose works tend to sport hundreds upon hundreds of both upvotes and downvotes, trending generally to the red. Second, this is the only story of theirs I have ever read, and most likely back when there was but one chapter to read. Third, you can just read the extended description and all the various warning tags to get the gist of what's going on and not have to read this yourself. Fourth, this is all Majin Syeekoh's fault. Despite it being my fault for letting my curiosity get in the way of my common sense (why did I read this 2-4 years ago?), he is very, very much to blame. But yes, this is a story about Spike raping Rarity (and then apparently everyone else) while she's drunk, and I didn't care to read much beyond that, but suffice to say it actually gets worse. Like I said, read the warnings, you'll get the idea. I went into this fully expecting to hate it, and I did, and I can even say that the writing isn't particularly noteworthy. It is on the same level as, if not worse than, Fall of Equestria. The end.
Emphatically Not Recommended: DNF 1/8
Doh hoh hoh.
Yeah, that line was inspired, if I'm allowed to say so. I remember it's what convinced Selbi that I could write the humor in the story. The sex was all his -- God knows I can't write that [1] -- but the banter and humor were all mine, so I'm glad to see you liked it.
[1] Shit, I can't even read it. Thank god for Selbi on that collab -- if I try to re-read that story, I have to skip the sex. I just can't stomach it.
Fine, now you don't get donuts. Saves me a few bucks.
4056200
If it makes you feel any better (I know it won't), not even I can read the sex scenes anymore. We got a build-up of 2k words with one punchline after the next, and then it's all just MMHH-AAHH OH YES APPLEJACK I SEE THE LEAVES FALLING AROUND US AS THE TREE GROWS and that stuff. Urgh.
Still, cool to see after all these years the story still has something to it!
4056216
If you can figure out why I read it in the first place, I'll send you donuts. :B
4056287 my guess would be that idle curiosity got the better of you.
The Rummy Business of Old Blooey is fantastic fun! The other one is pretty good, too. It's a shame it died.
I got introduced to Jeeves and Wooster A few years ago when the youth orchestra I sometimes play French horn with put on a light Opera based around them breaking an important vase or something. It looks like I read the first two chapters of that story; I should read the rest.
Also as far as you reading gore fics, have you ever attempted 100 days of blueblood?
4056348
I'm pretty sure I did, a couple of years ago, and threw it away just as quickly. :B
EDIT: Oh wait, no, I read a story someone had written based off it, threw that away and then stopped watching them when they took it poorly. <.<
Wait, wait, wait. Hold the phone. Now there's an even more coveted "EN" rating?
That's moving the goalposts, PP! It's hard enough to get an "N." Now I have to write about a rapey Spike?
I... I just don't know if I have it in me.
4056505 You must have missed the "No" rating I got a few months ago, then. For a story that also involved Spike, hilariously enough.
He just keeps on lowering his scale and both instances seem to involve Spike.
4056508 Okay, okay. All I need to get a super-ultra coveted "No" rating is to write a story about Spike raping Celestia, who in turn is raping Twilight, who herself is watching a recording of Octavia raping Vinyl. I... I can do this...
4056524 Yes. The only way to complete the coveted hat trick is to write a rape daisy chain starting with Spike.
4056524
No, you keep flipping the dial around to funny. :V
4056556 IT'S MY CURSE! WHY CAN'T I BE OFFENSIVE?! WHY?!
4056581
You're a nice guy! :D
I miss when Cloud Wander would write stories. :( Matter of fact, it was this (and indirectly Chris) who got me into Wodehouse.
"Breaking Peeved" was great.
4056524 4056527 I think you're still missing one of his sore points. And don't forget gratuitous show-quoting and meme-drops (but not in a way that moves you back to funny, I guess? this seems hard).
It's odd. You seem to have such consistent standards of quality, but then you do thing like denounce good episodes or recommend the Actingverse and I wonder if you're secretly two people with radically different tastes but the same writing voice.
But, the bagel though!
You monster.
4056287
(i.e. masochism)
It contained a pairing you abhor. Of course you read it.
4056842 Don't you dare steal my free donuts.
4056527
4056556
4056581
No, no, you're missing the point. You gotta write something that would really, really get in his nerves, and completely straightface it. If you write something ridiculous he'll try to be cheeky about it.
A My Little Dashie clone. Only, the human finds both Vinyl and Octavia, who -- in the most cliché, less interesting way possible -- fall in love with each other. Bland dialogue. References to Cupcakes and Rainbow Factory. Maybe written in second person, if that annoys him.
Then have something melodramatic and outright offensive at the end and get some random people to think it's high art (bonus if it's gore, I guess?). One of the characters gets raped. There's a suicide. Substance abuse. Some kind of horribly misguided attempt to describe depression (and how it can be cured with ~~the power of a smile~~ and not being a pussy.) Then a shitty hopeful ending that tries to play off the tragedy as something ultimately good 'cause 'it brought us all together'.
Get that shit featured and I'm guessing PP will try to kill you with his own hands.
(Unless I'm mixing his tastes with those of other people, in which case, uh, hi, how's it going).
4056786
Pfffft.
While I don't want to share the somewhat mocking undertone of the message (all in good humor, I'm sure of it; you know I love you, KingMoriarty), I gotta say -- the actingverse has some issues that really annoy me and you don't seem to tackle them at all in your review, PP. So yeah, I don't exactly share your opinion. Siding with Moriarty, rather.
IMO, the actingverse shows that GAPJaxie is a really good writer, but not so good a storyteller. To each his own, I suppose, though. People seem to like it, and opinions are subjective by nature -- but that 'verse ain't as universally liked as you seem to assume : P
4056901 ...
Did Aragon just take my side? And act all chummy? And... and...
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-
Moriarty.EXE has stopped working.
4056235
4056200
Yeah, not a huge fan of the sex in that story.
On the other hand, the humor is hilarious, and the bit in the middle of the sex
Is gloriously terrible.
4056842
Honestly, the bagel was inspired. But it also doesn't make sense: she sees a lot of inanimate objects over the course of the story, including at the ticks.
4056958
I think, after four-five years reading the occasional clopfics, I've finally gotten over my distaste for pony sex. Not pony-on-human sex, of course. (Above commenters, take note!) Sometimes, it's just worth seeing two people fuck. :B
4057128
You (second-person fic) are just a humble fanfiction reviewer and author, before you suddenly find yourself whisked away to Equestria, whereupon you go on a sexytimes rampage. Chapter 1 is you banging Celestia while Twilight watches on, cucked. Chapter 2 is you in a threesome with Sparity. Dunno how many chapters long it is (what other ships does PP hate?), but the last chapter obviously has you fucking the batpony. :B
4057255
It obviously needs to be called Don't Fuck the Batpony: A Homewrecker's Tale, wherein the main character fucks every pony he can find, just to avoid fucking that stupid, sexy batpony. Why? I dunno, dude's gotta fuck. :B
Aaah, Operation Get-Lestia. Happy memories.
Heh. You actually read Indigo Hooves because I left it on Loganberry's blog. Then you called me a monster. It was a happy day.
4057255 From 2525912:
Also Twirek, apparently.
And after fucking the batpony, becoming one.
It would seem that Pinkamena Diane Pie Cupcakes with Scootaloo is not, in fact, the most awful fic in the universe. I'm oddly disappointed by that.
4058727 I missed that that had actually been published! Looks like your entirely uncoveted five-star rating is only a matter of
daysweeksmonthsaeons away now!4063322 Fun fact: xjuggernaughtx never turns his nose up at a five star rating.
Now if I could only get a good rating out of Chris...
4063322
Actually, the version with Pinkamena and Scootaloo was pretty darned good. >.>
4064107 Ah. This is obviously some strange usage of the word "good" that I wasn't previously aware of.