Read It Later Reviews #1 One Morning, She Stood There, In the Heart of the Nightmare · 3:17am Jan 1st, 2016
Today marks the first day of the new year and my first installment of my January reviews. In attempt to clean out my read it later bookshelf, I decided to dedicate the entire month of January to reading and reviewing stories.
As of this current moment, there are 102 stories on that bookshelf. I worked it out that if I read three stories a day, I can get through all of them in a month. Sounds easy right? Wrong. Actually taking time out of my day to sit down and do this is going to be tricky as I do have other hobbies and commitments in my life of which will makes this a little more challenging then it sounds.
So what if you miss a day of reviewing?
Then I must make up for it the following day which in turn inevitably stacks things up. So its best to stay on top of it.
Now, onto the reviews!
Today's Stories:
One Morning by Soothing Coffee
She Stood There by 1Beecat3
In the Heart of the Nightmare by Noir de Plume
One Morning
Slice of Life
2,195 words
In one particular morning, Rainbow Dash felt a slight melancholy as she descended onto Ponyville. Maybe there'd be something to make her better there?
An interesting little piece of fluff that's tone seems to be all over the place. For the most part, you're never really sure from whose perspective your reading it from and the third person narration feels...unnecessary. Having a narrator is fine, but in a story that doesn't have much of a plot or emphasis, it feels very out of place.
It's also very wordy, not in the sense that there are lot of words but rather a lot of words that don't feel needed. As one of the comments pointed out, there were a lot of sentences that could be restructured and made more direct and to the point. Which is not necessarily the author's fault, but rather the editor's. It supposedly had two editors, so why had neither of them picked up on it?
Lastly, when Rainbow Dash is interacting with some of the ponies it feels very forced. Not only that, but there's a lot of overshadowing like how after the pony is finished speaking there's a bunch of stuff about how they might be concealing something.
As a whole the story is okay, a bit bland and it feels kind of rushed but it still holds up okay. There's nothing that interesting in here. Well, Rainbow Dash doesn't make any interesting observations or anything. But if you're looking for a bit of fluff, this is probably what you're gonna get.
Recommendation: Not Recommended
She Stood There
Sad, Slice of Life
1,014 Words
This is in Celestia's perspective, right after Luna's banishment.
She stood there, everything hit her at once. Nothing could ever refill that felling of lost.
A short little story from a very small known author of whom I'm glad will finally have a bit of exposure thanks to this review. In a nutshell, its an observation fic. A story that does nothing but observe a character's thoughts and feelings. Not to say that it's bad. It's just...not very good either.
It takes place straight after Luna's banishment and Princess Celestia is grieving the loss of her sister and feels guilty for the sacrifice she had to make. There's a lot of descriptive prose that shows how incredibly sad she is and how that's affecting her physically but I feel that the story would've been a lot stronger if the author had shown us how it affected her mentally and had expanded on her inner thoughts.
Not to say that while that some phrases and sentences do get repetitive and there is still a few spelling mistakes, the story is still worth reading. You do feel for the character, you sympathize with her pain. You feel her sorrow and that's why this is something that could've been revealed more in the show.
Overall, I still liked it and I enjoyed reading it and I hope you take the time to do so as well.
Recommendation: Recommended
In the Heart of the Nightmare
Drama, Sad
1,032 Words
When nights draw long, Luna's mind wanders.
Celestia slumbers peacefully down the hall. With whom can she discuss her worries?
Out of the stories on this list, this the one I enjoyed the most. It had the least number of issues and the overall flow was rather nice. Princess Luna reflects on how her immortality affects many things. One of them being her want to love, its not that she can't love another pony but rather she is afraid to. She also reflects on her role as a Princess and how she has control over ponies dreams. How she must protect them from nightmares.
However, there is one problem with the story. Something that doesn't quite add up. The author makes it seem like Luna can't dream. Which, she can. In the show it's shown that she does have the ability to dream and thus that affects other ponies dreams. If this story was tagged as alternate universe, I wouldn't have a problem with it. But since its not, its probably my only real gripe with the story.
Everything else from the pacing to the inner monologue and even the way the night is described, is brilliant. I honestly feel this is a story that is highly underrated. It's a shame that not many people have read it, but for what it is, its very good.
Without giving too much away, there is a scene where Princess Luna writes a letter to somepony and in that letter she reveal so many of her fears, her anxieties and her feelings. Its a letter I could see a princess writing and it fits in with the rest of the story's slow, calm tone perfectly.
Recommendation: Highly Recommended
That's all for today folks! I will be reviewing more stories tomorrow and I hope you go and check out these stories and give their author's their well earned feedback.
- A
I'm so excited to see your reviews starting up! I've always enjoyed reading reviews by those I follow; always been a fun way of discovering other works. And since I intend to spend a good portion of January just reading as well, I'll definitely be checking some of these works out.
3655124
Thanks Vertigo, you're the coolest. I'm glad you're excited to see my reviews. I hope you enjoy them.
Yeah, I know I could have been better, and I want to thank you for reviewing that story! I'm actually a... Newer author you can say? So you know, I don't have all the "quirks" done as a writer. But, really, thank you for reviewing the story!
3655210
It's a pleasure. I didn't write this review to bash on anyone's story or their writing. I did it because I want author's to see how they can improve. You have got potential and I would love to see how you grow as a writer and as a storyteller.
Good review, eh. Best O' kisses.
3656344
Thanks. I'm glad you liked it.