Beneath the microscope, you contain galaxies.
Thanks to (recurrent) pledges to my Patreon by equestrian.sen, horizon, Forderz, Bradel, Blagdaross, and chukker, I've reached my first milestone!
As you can see, it says, "Milestone Goals: Reached! Kick this puppy I'm holding".
Hey, I just thought of what I want for Christmas. A set of those metal hoofguards like the princesses have.
'Scuze me. I'll be back.
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Solar powered death ray, you say?
a2-images.myspacecdn.com/images03/28/eeb6687beb994ce8b2abdfc53b853705/600x600.jpg
Instructions!
Nice to see you're an environmentally aware villain who would not do anything to destroy the... wait a minute.
3562626 I don't want to destroy the world. I just want to disinfect it.
there'd better be video
I'm pretty sure I tricked you into #2 at some point already.
Congratulations, Bad Horse! You're another chapter closer to BURNING THE WORLD! MOUAHAHA!
... wait, did you say disinfect? Uh. Heck, fire cleanses EVERYTHING!
Honestly, well done. I have yet to figure out how the whole Patreon thing works, or how to try to. I mean, if I gave everyone I loved online money, I'd have NOTHING for myself. One day, however, I would like to be one of those brave few who want to see you succeed in ... er, whatever endeavour you like!
In the meanwhile, YAY!
Speaking of kicking puppies:
3562836
I'll show those elephants. I'll show ALL those fucking elephants.
I approve. This is the level of deviousness to which I continuously aspire, a lofty plateau which I have come to expect from the Equestrian League of Evil.
Now to wait until the goal of "cly acknowledge 3562744's OC as canon" is Reached…
3564750
Yeah, I'm so excited! He's a black and red bat pony alicorn who's secretly the much more talented brother of both Celestia and Luna. His name is "Darksoul," and he has some anger issues but really he is very loyal and will do anything for his friends--but watch out if you cross him!
I'm so jazzed that Bad Horse is going to be declaring him canon!
EDIT: Also he is in a relationship with Fluttershy.
3564980 For purposes of this reward, "Skywriter's OC" will refer to whatever character Skywriter has written the most stories about.
Your move.
3564995
Wait, you're going to acknowledge Cadance as canon?
Baaaaaaaaaad! That's too evil even for us! Have some standards!
3564995
Oh, you mean Twilight Sparkle.
(Look it up, bitch. Yeah, that's right.)
3565079
Wait, what am I saying, I want you to acknowledge her as canon! Why am I arguing against you?
3565079
Oh, no! I have been out-witted! Now I shall have to acknowledge Twilight Sparkle as canon!
3565152
I guess the only option is for me to write another Cadance story before you hit the mark, causing it to be dead even, and then hope you use word count as a tiebreaker.
3565187
I approve of this idea.
3565187 This is Bad Horse we are speaking of. He is trained in the Dark Arts of Statistics, the method by which the Greatest Evils can be inflicted upon society. I have no doubt that he can prove within several sigmas of accuracy ... anything.
3616266
Statistics allow you to declare anything true that you want to be true, and to have people accept it as such. They're magic.
It's funny, because presumably the original intent of the discipline was something approaching the exact opposite.
3616284
"There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics." —Quote popularized by Mark Twain